It's not as much of a work of art as I would have liked. I can't figure out why it's missing that spark that I like my mixes to have. It's on a 120-min. tape. Side 1 *Skeleton Key -- "Watch the Fat Man Swing" *Sixteen Horsepower -- "Brimstone Rock" *Modest Mouse -- "Dramamine" *Girls Against Boys -- "Park Avenue" *PJ Harvey -- "My Beautiful Leah" *Sixteen Horsepower -- "Golden Rope" *Make-Up -- "We're Having a Baby" / "Gospel 2000" *Afghan Whigs -- "Little Girl Blue" *Nothin' But Trash -- "Momma Was a Heavy Equipment Operator" (with thanks to Semillama) *Skeleton Key -- "Dear Reader" *Gallon Drunk -- "Push the Boat Out" *Girls Against Boys -- "Exorcisto" *Sixteen Horsepower -- "For Heaven's Sake" (side ends with the beginning of Trouble Funk's live album. Awwwwwww, yeah.) Side 2 Erik Satie -- "Tyrolienne Turque" Rachel's -- "Letters Home" PJ Harvey -- "The Wind" Black Box Recorder -- "England Made Me" The Klezmatics -- "Ikh Shtey Unter a Bokserboym" Frank Sinatra -- "Little Girl Blue" Calexico -- "Vinegaroon" The Klezmatics -- "Di Krenitse" Black Box Recorder -- "Swinging" Calexico -- "Old Man Waltz" Erik Satie -- "5th Gnossiene" Morrissey -- "Satan Rejected My Soul" Mahalia Jackson -- "How I Got Over" Elysian Fields -- "Parachute" Built to Spill -- "I Would Hurt a Fly" Amon Tobin -- "Sordid" I think the mix is too eclectic for its own good. Sixteen Horsepower is my new love. Oh, they are so wonderful! Like an old-time revival meeting in the middle of a ghost town. I took the titles of each side of the mix from a song of theirs: Side A's called "Your sympathy is my simple joy" and Side B is called "Your heart is my mobile home."

Which album? I borrowed their first one from a friend once.

Which Sixteen Horsepower, you mean? "Low Estate," which is leagues above "Sackcloth 'N Ashes." They also have a self-titled EP, which I've never heard, but I bet it's not as good as "Low Estate." They have a new album coming out, I think in March, called "Secret South." Here are some sound clips, courtesy of Amazon.com. (Though, as usual, the clips are usually of some inconsequential part of a song and they end, like, milliseconds before the good part comes in. Alas. CDNow also has some clips...they're mpgs, too.) This is a good website, with all the lyrics, and links to soundclips, and a huge collection of articles and interviews.

Oh, wait. They're like Tom Waits -- you've got to let them grow on you. And the clips are of poor quality. So if you don't like them, just remember you're not getting the full effect. Which may be a good thing, in your mind, but really! They're something else!

is "is this desire" the only pj harvey album you have? if so, I envy you. you can go and discover the rest now.

No, I also have "Rid of Me" and "To Bring You My Love," but I already mined them for material in the past. I finally got "Is this Desire?" a few days ago, so I wanted to share the joy.

i just picked "to Bring you my Love" at the used place today, along with H. R.'s "Human Rights", a Lick album, and A Bob Mould album. Plus Dr. Bloodmoney by Dick and a Le Guin novel as well. I listened to Nate's band teh Oxen Mentalists last night, in the appropriate chemical state. That's a really good album. Strange, but that's the way I like it.

Hey, Sem, I told my mother about that music of the Gypsies during the Holocaust that you mentioned, and she was very interested. Do you have any more information about it (most importantly, the name of the musicians who have recorded it)? We listened to the Klezmatics this morning as we were cooking tonight's feast and getting the house ready. We thought that was amusing, but then, we're easily amused.

My sister told me about a used record store that I hadn't known about, even though I used to walk right by it every day on my way to a previous job. When I went in there and looked, I found a Spirit of the West single. Hooray! That freaking thing is DARN rare! that only leaves their first album (RareRareRare....I'd sell my left eye for that sucker), their last album, and one other single (also very rare!). I'm very happy.

Spider: As soon as i am done here, I will email my friend Justin and ask him.

You know, I don't know if my mother ever got that CD she ordered. I'll have to ask her. I'm listening to "Sackcloth 'n' Ashes" right now. It's grown on me. My mother sent me an email this morning. She has a friend (the guidance counselor at the school she teaches at) who is really interested in serial killers and stuff like that. Apparently this lady is doing research on Stephen Pinell (sp?) who was a serial killer in Wilmington, DE (where they work and where I went to school....and my good friend A. was friends with the daughter of one of the women he killed). Anyway, the lady asked my mother if I would be interested in doing the writing on the book that she wants to put out. My mother said yes. I am not interested. So my mother writes back saying I could use what I write for the lady in my psychopathology course. And I write back saying, no, that's not going to work, we already have a plan for the course and it doesn't involve me writing about serial killers. Furthermore, I have neither time nor interest in doing such a thing, and I resent her offering my services without asking me first. So my mother writes back saying "Why is it you never want to do anything I ask you to do?" among other angry things (like I'm wasting my talents, I'm doing nothing (?!), AND some lady just told her that I would be miserable going into social work so I should think of something else to do). Am I wrong in thinking she's being demanding? My only hope is that maybe my brother and I will get an apartment together after I graduate, and I'll get a job in my field and then make enough $ to go to grad school. Because my family exhausts me and I really, really need to get away from them.

Rhi, just go to grad school, sink your self into the student loan program, but go. Waiting to make enough money to go - that's a good way to never make it. Your mother doesn't sound like she realizes your an adult who makes her own decisions. She needs to realize that it's rude and disrespectful to treat you that way. If it all starts to get you down (or anything else does), my best freind has a mantra you can use: "I deserve to be respected and adored."

Am I not supposed to laugh when I say that? More demands from mia madre. She's organized a Vatican/Holocaust conference here at school to be held in April. This is what she writes today: "Anyway, since our audience at the symposium (we decided to call it this to encourage audience participation) will be eating lunch at local restaurants ... I need a list of all the restaurants in the area (could you walk to [the town down the street] some day soon - on the weekend??? and write down all the names and adds. of the restaurants you see on the way, then go back to your dorm and find the phone nos. for me?)" Okay, not to be furtherly (?) critical, but she's asking me to walk a total of 8 miles to find the names of restaurants. Couldn't she look in a phone book? Or ask me to look in the phone book? Or get in her car and make the trip herself? On top of this, she knows I'm in class or working till 4 every day. When am I supposed to have time to walk 8 miles? Where is her head? How am I supposed to respond to this? I'm looking at the email in (new Sorabjiland word) disgustication, trying not to gnash my teeth...I don't think I'm going to be able to decline politely. People are going crazy. Speaking of which, I found an old issue of the LA-based zine, Ben Is Dead. All the pieces were written around the time of the '92 riots. From what they describe, I know I would have died if I lived there at that time. If not literally, I would have wanted to die when I saw all that chaos and anarchy. I can't stand it when I'm around people who act crazy like that...without sense or reason or morals. I need order.

I need to stop complaining.

your mother seems to be overstepping... i think you should politely decline

Rhiannon, tell her the trains around the teeny college towns in Pennsylvania work just as well for her school-teaching ass as they do for your college-student ass and maybe it would be a nice mother-daughter bonding thing if she got her ass on up to that town and you and she could canvas the restaurants together. Excepting that, might I suggest that every year your school has a graduation and evil parents from all over the country fly in and need to be put up somewhere and fed somewhere. I'm sure the people who handle all the paperwork they send to parents at graduation time actually has a list of recommended restaurants in nearby towns (at Hopkins there is a special division of the Registrar's Office that deals just with graduation -- even if Bryn Mawr doesn't have this you may just want to call up the reference desk at your library and say "Hey, my mom is being wierd and demanding in an attempt to remain entwined in my life as I near the time when she will have little to no say, do you know who might have a list of recommended restaurants in town X?"). It would save you a lot of legwork, since I know your sense of filial duty is too strong to reject this outrageous request out of hand. When you get a list of recommended restaurants in nearby towns, tell your mom where you got it and tell her "work smarter not harder, mom."

Can,t your mom just look these up on the internet?

Margret, you're wrong about one thing: I have no qualms about telling her an absolute no. She expects this from me, actually, which is why I'm hesitant to do so. Other than that, very good suggestions. And J, I think that's a great idea. She's just getting the hang of using the internet...it will be a good assignment for her. So, I'm going to reply to her, telling her: a) phonebook, b) internet c) come up and we'll do it together. If these fail, I'll go to the alumnae house and ask for a list of restaurants in the area, which I will present to my mother only after making her beg me for them. She owes me that much.

<ring> "hello?" "hi mom. fuck you, you ass" <click>

Ha! What I said was as blunt, but not as profane: "Please understand: a) I work/am in class till 4 every week day. On weekends, I do readings and papers. b) you are asking me to walk several miles (there are no restaurants towards Villanova. I would have to walk in the other direction, to Ardmore and further, which is 4 miles from here) over several hours to do something you could easily do yourself 1) by looking in the phone book 2) by looking on the internet 3) by coming up to see me and then looking with me yourself. Please explain to me why, in light of these options, you ask me to do something as inconvenient and time- and energy-consuming as going on foot to gather the data myself. Love, R" I wonder how she'll respond.

Spider, I came up with an alternative using this tool: http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-alanislyrics.html "Will to Live" I feel miserable Ardmore make me ill I feel miserable Villanova tear at my foundations I feel miserable Restaurants are dragging me down to the depths of misery I want to die Is it because of My Mother Making Wierd Demands of Me that I feel this way? With the Aubergine rays of misery pounding on my brain? Or am I lost in tale of William Butler Yeats, adrift far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live I feel miserable 8 Miles High by the Byrds rot the flesh from my bones I feel miserable 8 Miles of Lonely Road defeat my purpose I feel miserable Alma Mater are doing their best to impale my soul I want to die Is it because of My Mother Making Wierd Demands of Me that I feel this way? With the Aubergine rays of misery pounding on my brain? Am I lost in tale of William Butler Yeats, adrift far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live Oh God, Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Classics Professor of Ascetic Style and Bright Blue Eyes Broke My Will to Live

How did you know I like WB Yeats? I don't remember telling that to anyone around here. You must have a special eye into my brain. Speaking of such things, I just read a very interesting article ("Emotion regulation and depressive symptoms during adolescence: a functionalist perspective," by R. Kobak and R. Ferenze-Gillies, 1995) that claims that mothers' attachment issues present their teenaged children with a risk for depression. Attachment: there are 3 kinds -- secure (basically, the good kind), preoccupied (too closely involved), and dismissive (not attached enough). So the experiment involved rating mothers' attachments, rating kids' depressive behaviours, and then making the kids and mothers talk about the plans for the kids' futures. "Children of preoccupied mothers ... experienced the most negative affect during the session" (p. 185). Then, "These correlations suggest that mothers who were more preoccupied...had teenagers who were less able to assert their goals during the problem discussion...thus, mothers who were preoccupied had oldest teenagers who were less autonomous duirng problem-solving and discussions of leaving home" (p. 188) Then, "older teenagers who had difficulty asserting their own viewpoint or autonomy during a conflict discussion and whose moethers were dissatisfied with their own intimate adult relationships reported increased levels of depressive symptoms" (p. 190). Finally, "it is likely that mothers' preoccupation...is indirectly linked to teenagers' depressive symptoms throught potential effects on teenagers' emotion regulation during conversation. {The research has] suggested that preoccupied mothers may find their oldest teenagers' moves toward autonomy anxiety-provoking and consequently .... reducing teenagers' ability to establish an autonomous stance in the family, these parents may increase the teenagers' negative affect and risk for depressive symptoms" (p. 191). In conclusion, it is all my over-protective mother's fault that I'm as messed up as I am. Yay! I knew it all along! Ah, but this is a good example of a flaw. The article didn't really talk about *how* not being able to openly voice dissent negatively affects emotion regulation. Which was the point of the article. So what if I don't think my mother will listen to me? How does that make me unable to keep my spirits up, so to speak? They don't go into that, unfortunately. And I don't really think she's to blame for my mental state. I never really paid much attention to her while growing up, not enough to notice whether she was preoccupied or dismissive or whatever. I've always been more influenced by my own attachments, thoughts, opinions, etc. Plus, you can't blame her. Her own mother couldn't have cared less about her, so it's no wonder that she over-compensated with me.

you can say that you didn't pay much attention, but you probably did. i find that i was much more affected by my parents than i thought while i was growing up. i think that being too involved also means that the parent tries to 'help' a lot. this goes so far as to suggest that the child is inadequate in an underlying way. i don't quite follow the summary of the article though, are the children of pre-occupied mothers more depressed all the time or just during interaction or conflict with the mother?

And now, a brief diversion: "I Think" I Think Jerry Lewis Telethons are really a huge problem I Think moustaches are too much on my mind I Think cigarette holders have got a lot to do with why the world sucks But what can you do? Like a Ultraviolent rain, beating down on me Like a Mark Thomas line, which won't let go of my brain Like Bryan Adams's ass, it is in my head Blame it on The French Blame it on The French Blame it on The French I Think striped shirts are gonna drive us all crazy And scrustard pies make me feel like a child I Think bottle tricks will eventually be the downfall of civilization But what can you do? I said what can you do? Like a Ultraviolent rain, beating down on me Like a Mark Thomas line, which won't let go of my brain Like Bryan Adams's ass, it is in my head Blame it on The French Blame it on The French Blame it on The French Like a Ultraviolent rain, beating down on me Like Bryan Adams's smile, cruel and cold Like Mark Thomas's ass, it is in my head Blame it on The French Blame it on The French Blame it on The French Thank you.

Sem that was great! Sometimes I feel so talentless.

Heather, I think they meant depressed all the time. They weren't too clear on this, but I think they rated the kids for depression before they watched the interaction between them and their parents. They also mentioned that they think that having a mother who won't let them talk about leaving home so much makes them feel guilty about wanting to leave, and guilt follows with depression. THough I think I said before, they don't talk about how feeling a lack of autonomy leads to inadequate emotional regulation. Sem, was that supposed to be sung to the tune of Milli Vanilli's "Blame it on the Rain"? If so, you forgot the crucial "yeah yeah" after each "blame it on the French."

moonit

That was great Sem,and it reminded me...Fuck Jerry Lewis too!!!

No, no, that was the Alanis Morrisette Lyric generator! Try it yourselves! Click that link Margret posted, it takes you right there. Be warned: that website has the potential to waste a LOT OF TIME.

Well fuck Jerry Lewis anyway..

I feel so creative using the "generator"; to wit: "Will to Live" I feel miserable Mindless chatter makes me deathly ill I feel miserable Cliches and banter tear at sanity's foundations I feel miserable Verbs permissable are dragging me down to the depths of misery I want to die Is it because of late night sorabjic tales that I feel this way? With the ladyormanwrestler's less viscerable but oh so aubergene rays of misery pounding on my brain? Or am I lost in tale of ol Walt Whitman, adrift and far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live I feel miserable These old lovers rot the flesh from my bones I feel miserable Even ____ 's red cotton undies defeat my purpose (and) I feel miserable While the garlic angels misbegotten are doing their best to impale my soul I want to die Is it because of late night epic tales that I feel this way? With the ladyormanwrestler's less viscerable but oh so aubergene rays of misery pounding on my brain? Or am I lost in tale of ol Walt Whitman, adrift and far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. I don't think so, I don't think so. Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live Oh God, Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Oscar Wilde Broke My Will to Live I will Not Do This Again I WILL Not Do This Again I Will NOT Do This Again I promise

I WANT TO KNOW THE LYRICS TO MAHALIA JACKSON GOSPEL SONG MY SOUL LOOK BACK AND WONDER HOW I GOT OVER. I HAVE SEARCHED AND CANNOT GET THE ANSWER TO WHAT I WANT. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME GET THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG. I LOVE MAHALIA JACKSON. I ALSO WANT TO KNOW WHO SONG THE SONG WHEN YOU HERE OF MY HOMEGOING DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME I AM JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER GOING HOME. NEED ASAP FRIEND OF MY SISTER DIED I HAVE TO SING THESE SONGS NEED RIGHT AWAY