i have sold my car....taken the money and proceeding to run. i am cleaning my room this evening and letting go of things that will make me less portable. consolidating my music and my clothes, donating quite a bit to goodwill. and handing much away to my friends for safe keeping. it was decided this afternoon that i am to catch a train to NYC this coming wednesday to arrive on friday. i am excited, of course, but also scared. i have never done anything of this caliber before. i ran away from home when i was 17 but it wasn't like this. it wasn't like a thought out, wise, life changing decision. i knew i would come back to see my parents then. it is about the same situation as before, only i won't be stopping in some one horse town in florida, i will be landing in Penn Station with a cello and my clothes. seeking out my beatnik partner in crime, or an old japanese roommate from college. it is weird, cause i have been thinking if i should say goodbye to anyone here. but then i realized there is no need. life in itself isn't permanent. goodbyes are merely a feeble way of trying to make something such as life permanent. i don't know if i will be gone a year or for the rest of my life. so i think in that respect and in that light i should say goodbye to no one. a guy i once knew told me once "things can never stay the way they are" i have believed this, in no matter what situation, life, money, etc. things truly can never stay the way they are. there will always be variations. as far as life in concerned of course. so my toast for any dinner engagement and for the year "to broken bottles, canceled checks and nyc."

Everything happens for a reason.

What a wonderful adventure you're embarking on!Life is full of such interesting and fragrant types.Enjoy the diversity,and file away your memories, the sites, the sounds,the smells.Perhaps you'll be a learned scholar when you complete your journey, and have much to share with us.Open your mind to new ways and experience life at its richest, but also use some caution,because unfortunately, there is also a negative faction out there.Above all, have FUN!!!!

Kymical, you will love NY. And hate it sometimes too. But you won't regret moving there. Everyone shd live in Manhattan & Paris for a little while in their lives. If you see Swine/kiss him for me. If you see Mark/tell him we're still waiting for a picture of his chair. And make sure you pack a warm coat/a scarf & gloves. Keep in touch.

oh god... what was i thinking? i am trying to be hard and stay alive... the money is running out, and i fear so is my health. i belive i have gotten frost bite. no place to live yet... any suggestions? if so please call @ 917-674-0912 ask for the addiction. give moral support or know of an apartment or a job for me...

new york city is supposed to be a really hard place to move to, everyone i know that has moved there found that there was a long adjustment period before they finally got things settled. good luck. as far as work goes, you can surely find some dumb retail job at least for awhile to tide you over, or maybe try some temp agencies.

i am dead... oh i die... see how i die.. oh wait, no i am just in arizona. damn. looks like i have been spit out but not really chewed up.

Kymical,where are you in Arizona? I live in Chandler AZ,it,s the best time of year here,it,s only hell in the summer.

NY to Arizona? Kym...

Heading to LA, maybe?

Ny to Arizona? Are you being sarcastro about the whole thing?

i am a travelin' fool. i was in nyc. i loved it there! it was some of the most inspiring times i have ever had. the city has a sort of preverse energy to it. it should be no surprise hat in 7 days i had lost somehow 700 dollars. low on cash i tried to temp but they couldn't really find me anything. it seems that by saying i had computer knowledge all it got me was interviews, millions apoun millions of interviews. all the sudden all the money was gone. i was just thinking of sleeping in Penn Station when i decided to swallow my pride and ask my parents to help. they in turn bought me a train ticket to where they live, Arizona. now i am at my parents house and wishing very badly that i was in Dallas. turns out while i have been fucking up my life my band has all the sudden gained more noteriety. we are being played on college radio. and now one of the people that has been a long time fan, somehow he got money to start a label and to open his own club. my band is like the club's house band. doing gigs weekly or something, once the club opens. i call my ex roommate (one ofour guitarists) and he is designing shirts for the band. never in my life have i been such a firm believer in fundraising. i am a very poor scam artist tho i fear. a bit to honest. to cali? oh no....went there once to have an illicit rendevous, never really want to go back. the cost of living thing right now is a big problem for me. who knows what the future holds? maybe i will re-unite with my band and try small time stardom. maybe i will somehow find the funds to get that god damnned education i have been dreaming about. maybe i will just go crazy and shoot my family and see myself months later on some crime show on tv. the saga continues. and i was very sad that no one called me. :(

Do you know where in Arizona you are?

oh yeah... in the foot hills... in tucson. a suburb that begins with an M....i want to say Marrietta or something like that. it is so, um, what is it called?, warm and sunny here. i am no chameleon. adapting is taking time.

I would go back and join the band. But I'd call first, just to see how things are. You could get your money there, and then start up again. Education is good. I'm taking Printmaking right now and loving it, English 101 I have a cool eccentric teacher, and Gen. biology I have a boring as fuck teacher. I'm going into Graphic Design, and maybe video game design stuff too. If you had a 1-800 number, that would be faboo. I'd definately call.

What club?

my plot is thickening... today i got a job doing tech support, it is almost in the motion of me not being able to choose the band life again. now it feels all serious, like i have to choose school or the band. before i could sort of weazel about it. i would go back to dallas, if i had any money to get there and to survive here to live. (we aren't playing paying shows yet.) we got another show at Tres on the 17th. opening for some big national act... damn i should just post our website here for all of you to see me and the band and the flyers...etc. i want to play and perform again, but i know that now i have to actually put effort into getting into school. to continue moving around doesn't seem logical. i don't know... soon the link to the chaos and the addiction web-site it will be revealed what addiction looks like.

well post the dman link already, why hold out?