Okay, confession time. I did something really stupid. How stupid? I picked up a hitchhiker. I picked up this scruffy blond tidbit off the side of the highway. We talked for some time while I drove along aimlessly. The punk began talking about sex. Soon enough, there was a hand on my leg. Soon enough, I went straight home and took this wanton little creature to my bed, still waiting for the punchline. I halfway expected a mugging or robbery attempt. Maybe even murder. However, I did not get killed. I got laid, which is much nicer. We fell asleep afterward. When I awoke, I was alone. My hitchhiker was gone. But he left me a note with a phone number on it. Dilemma: call the number or forget about it? It was a sweet experience. I'd consider a repeat performance. He's a virtual stranger, though. Should I just bask in the afterglow forever? It went well. Why fuck with a good memory? Or should I call him up, risking the chance to see his bad side? On the other hand, maybe he's really that sweet and won't turn into Satan overnight. I don't know. It's tempting....... Go ahead and divulge all of your stories about getting it on with strangers. It'll make me feel better.

what did he take when he left?

2 songs come to mind: Chevy Van Goodbye Girl

and of course the movie Thelma and Louise

I checked the house very carefully after he left. I wanted to make sure that nothing had been stolen. Nothing had, in fact, been taken. I have such a lack of trust sometimes. I haven't made my final decision yet, but I'm leaning toward calling him back. I'll admit it. I'm lonely. It was nice to have someone sleeping next to me. That probably sounds dopey, but it's the truth.

don't call him... no wait call him.... hmm i don't know. i say you call him next time you are looking for a fling. cause this time was a fling. or if you are really lonely you could call him. but consider the source. he was a hitchiker. not neccissarily the basis for the word "stable". but it is all about how you feel. time is of the essense. seize the day.

I did, indeed, seize the day. I called him. We've got a date in 2 weeks. He seemed very glad that I called. Somebody else answered the phone, though. A live-in roommate, I think. I hope they're platonic and everything. I didn't ask. Am I nervous? Yeah. But I'm kinda glad I did it. Just hope I don't get fucked over, you know?

Hope springs eternal in the human breast.

Indeed, it does. I know, I'm probably opening myself up for potential disaster, but there's a part of me that doesn't really give a damn. My life has gotten somewhat dull. I don't date much. Never did. My last lover died. I haven't seen anybody since then. Haven't really wanted to, until now. It's been years. I'm in a rut. My job is boring. My general routine is boring. I want to break free. It's springtime, damn it. Time for a change. Maybe this isn't the most prudent change in the world, but what the hell. I'm prepared for any funny stuff the kid might try to pull. I talked to him again since my last post. I asked about the voice on the phone. The person who answered the first time I called isn't a lover, but is just staying there on a temporary basis, like for a couple of weeks. Cool. Anyway, I'm probably acting like a fool, but I feel that if I don't take a chance, take a risk, take a dare, I'm going to go fucking nuts. I hope it works out. If it doesn't, I can definitely cope. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

As I've always said, there's nothing like a good, stiff dose of the clap to break up that boring general routine.

I've got a goal in life. To make things look better. Not Imac better, no. I wouldn't dare ride on their coat tails as everyone has decided to do. It's unbelievable, all the crap you see that looks like an imac, or is suppose to go with it. Do you really need a vcr to look like your goddamn computer? No I didn't really think so. Nor do they all need to be the color black, some are silver, and that's a good step in the right direction. If your job is boring, why are you still there? Isn't it suppose to be the greatest time to job hop? My routine is busy. I don't really like it, but it's going to slow down soon, and I'll be able to paint, create things that make me happy, and invite people over for tea. If you were in the Olympia area, I'd invite you to go for a cup of coffee. I like hearing people's philosophies.

This is inappropriate, I know, but I'm curious. Pilate, are you a guy?

Gee, it's not inappropriate to ask. Yes, I'm a guy. Jina, if I were in the area, I'd be glad to have coffee with you. As for my job, it's been getting a bit dull, but truthfully, I shouldn't be bitching too much. I'll be indoors this summer pushing a pencil instead of busting my balls out in the sweltering heat. Things could be worse. I'm also doing a bit of part time work with someone who posts here, which is how I found this site in the first place. Crimson sent me. It's her fault. Simon, your post cracked me up.

hmmm...pilate told me he'd been posting, but i wasn't sure where. glad i found it. he didn't mention here what kind of hitch-hiker he picked up. it was a local whose car died...not like some kind of wandering bum or escapee from the chain gang. i haven't been able to post anything myself for a while--too damn busy. my hubby just got censored from a newspaper. he does cartoons, among other things. he got an assignment for a cartoon. he did it & turned it in. but it didn't appear in the paper. it had been yanked for "obscenity", because one of the cartoon characters was seated w/ his legs spread. it's not the first time he's been censored from a newspaper. an entire press run of a newspaper was stopped once because his article wasn't "politically correct". i forget what he wrote now, but a lesbian feminist took offense & the entire paper was stopped. his article was deleted from every single paper. another time, many years earlier, there was a public burning of a college journal he edited. i hate censorship freaks. anyway, i just got invited to some black tie affair on the 1st. i went to the same shindig last year & got dead fucking drunk. looking forward to repeating the performance.

Pilate, I want to hear about your date when it happens. You can't obsess on the wrong way to meet a fella, just be glad you have. Good luck! All this politically correct garbage gets me down too. I was just watching English comedy all week last week (what with being in England and all) and the things they can say on TV there are incredible. You could never make the kind of fun of different groups here as you do there. Is that why American humor is often in such a sick sad rut? I caught the Gilda Radner show from the 70's a while ago and it was incredible - really edgy and hysterical. Canada is the only place with really great comedians coming out it it seems, but why is that? Why are they so much better at Comedy than Americans? And why is Much Music so much better than MTV?

i'm back, finally. still recovering from the official Day From Hell (TM) that i had yesterday. everything that could've gone wrong did. but i'm all right now. i think. the censorship thing still bugs me. two of my friends, amateur filmmakers, just got a bunch of complaints about one of their projects. people are freaked out because the film contains a bit of simulated sex (under blankets) and a five-second shot of some guy's bare ass. i also know of someone who got an online auction censored for selling a picture with a topless woman in it. somebody complained. jesus. it's as if things just keep getting increasingly provencial, backward and stupid. i don't understand these people who want to censor & control everything. anyway, i've gotta get back to the grind. i'll pop back in later. pilate just showed up here. he's a good guy. yesterday, when everything was going to hell, he suddenly came up & gave me a big hug. there are moments when shit like that can save your life.

and this would be reason #431 to leave the backwoods for a more forward thinking environment such as europe or any major metropolis????

i hear what you're saying...but i'm wondering if it's really THAT much better anywhere else. the whole nation seems to be going backwards, not just this particular state. i've also seen some fairly cool stuff around here. my buddies film far worse material than the scenes that were complained about. they've gotten media coverage for being offensive. i've appeared in some of their projects, including one recent one that the guys are assuring me will get me crucified when it's aired to the public (& i'm not even fellating anything this time, i'm just talking). what i'm saying is that it's not so backwards here that they can't find actors & willing participants for all the weird shit they want to film. i think censorship is a nationwide problem. i keep hearing about people, all over the country, who can't seem to handle reality & want to censor every little thing that comes along. but i understand what you're saying. perhaps it's true--maybe people in california would be a little kinder to a guy who's just trying to film himself fucking an inflatable woman underneath a blanket.

there is a little indie film at my local vid store in the experimental section called Scouts Honor. All the characters are inflatable dolls....quite a riot. Yes, Los Angeles takes kinder to more dark subversive culture, as do most other major cities.........

there are moments when i wish i could get away. i'm kind of stuck here for a while, due to circumstance. we're strongly considering a move this summer, though, even if it's just across town--we HATE our new neighbors. they're hideous. i wish they'd just fucking disappear. i was hoping that we'd just go ahead & move out of state, but we may not get to. there's also a possibility that hubby's job may force him into a much smaller town within the state (we both want to move, but i kinda dread that type of move--i want to move to a better place, not worse). there's yet another possibility that he may also end up in TX. wherever we move, one of the two filmmakers is likely coming w/ us. i do wonder if i've screwed up by staying here so long. i might find a few more kindred spirits somewhere else...then again, i could find a lot of jerks & assholes somewhere else. you never do know.

Thimgs are better in big cities. I notice when I go home to the sticks of New Hampshire. I fantasize about the low rent and having a nice big place and then I talk to my friends who never left and they remind me how depressingly backward and dull it is. NH was the last state to celebrate MLK Day I think. In my nice liberal city I don't even understand why anyone would vote for Bush. Then I dated this guy who lived in the burbs and I saw a side of the state that made me think 'ick!'. I'm happy to live insulated and in denial.

nope, AZ was

Dinner lady, where do you live again? I miss Seattle.

Boston. I went to Seattle for the first time last Nov and I miss the Space Needle. It is so absurd and cool. Like a monument to 'what we thought the future would be like but it's not' visible from everywhere - hurrah!

feels like it's been forever since i've posted anything here (although, naturally, i've been around...just not making the usual everyday posts). working like hell, blah, blah, et cetera. so, a few nights ago, i went to this big local awards ceremony...fancy dress, black tie, all that crap. i actually dressed up, for a change. but i was accompanied by a friend who decided at the last minute to wear a church of the subgenius t-shirt & a ghastly, undersized jacket from the salvation army. he had the requisite black tie, but just slung it over his shoulder & let it hang there like some kind of dead animal. anyway, my buddy & i were among the youngest people in the house (& we're not young). the average age was like 90 or something. afterward, a big band started playing & all these geriatric mummies started busting a move on the dancefloor. it was surreal. these people looked like they could barely walk, but they were out there dancing their asses off. these old, dried up, white-haired ladies wearing mink stoles were suddenly out on the floor giving it hell, kicking up their heels w/ dance partners you know will be dead by this time next year. it was either beautiful or frightening, i haven't decided which. gotta get busy again. but i just wanted to post something. it's been a while.

"do the hustle! do the double bump! They're hustling on the job man! Do it in LA, do it in Philly, do it in New Awlins, Atlanta, Mobile, they're hustlin' in the Apple, . . . do it in your Own home town!"

dinner lady, go see the gravel pit. they play in boston about once a week. they rock. http://www.qdivision.com/gravelpit/index.html

No shit....those guys are still around? A guy I knew in college used to play bass with them. I wish I could remember his name. He got kicked out of the band for drinking too much.

andrew? he did not get kicked out of the band for drinking too much. what a crock.

Yeah, Andrew. Sheesh, do you know *everyone* Agatha? Anyways, I never heard that directly from Andrew, just secondhand from a housemate who was friends with him

andrew got kicked out of the band because he wasn't so great, and he wasn't very committed to the band. he was in school and doing his own thing, mostly, i don't recall him ever drinking very much. he's a nice guy. hey, did you know a guy named andrew broadhead? he lived in northampton for a long time. how about adam sendroff or susan martinez? claire heinz? micah anderson?

So, back to the hitchhiker. When I woke up this morning he looked so damn sweet lying next to me. I could get totally stupid and poetic about it, but I'll spare you. We've been seeing a bit more of each other. He's terribly young, but there are moments when that's not such a bad thing. It's a beautiful Sunday morning. Too pretty to waste on church (as if I've set foot in one in ages). I think Crimson, Fluff and I are going to go fly a kite or something today. Literally. Crimson's been calling my hitchhiker-boy Fluff. That's how she refers to him. He thinks it's funny as hell. So he's Fluff. Elfin, cute, sexy, giggly, airheaded, sweet, fluffy Fluff. Did I just type that? "sweet fluffy Fluff?" Lord, I must be on drugs. Romance = brain damage. It's that simple.

pilate, m'boy...you mentioned that you might check this board before showing up here today. hope you do. ren & i may be going to up MO/KS today. i want you there, too. bring the fluffster, if you like. we can do dinner in joplin or something. i've tried to tell you this shit already, but your answering machine's screwed up. we need to do this soon. if not today, tomorrow. you're also still welcome to go w/ us on the 18th. ----------- another busy-ass week. but next week, i'm going down to the gulf coast to frolic on the beach. can't wait. spent yesterday running goofy errands. had company all day long, but still managed to get work done. pilate eventually showed up drunk & wanting to play twister. a houseguest spilled urine on the carpet (long story). it was memorable. gotta dash. i'm busy & hungry. & there was just a huge explosion outside. hope the crackhouse isn't on fire again.

have i mentioned yet today how much i hate my neighbors? my loud, stupid, abrasive, screaming, glass-throwing, stereo-blasting neighbors. my neighbors who scream whenever the mood suits them. my neighbors who argue all the time. i wish they'd disintegrate. we're expecting severe weather tonight. perhaps, by some feat of magic, a little funnel cloud could drop down from the sky, miss my place altogether, & just vacuum up all the fucking creeps who live next door, safely depositing them about a hundred miles away. pardon me while i daydream. PS: pilate, thanx for the won-ton soup & bubble wrap. you're a peach.

see you in about a week. i'm heading down to the beach for a while. pilate's going w/ me. the caravan leaves in about an hour. i haven't slept in a longass time & i'm terribly tired, but still jazzed about this roadtrip. it's usually just ren (my husband) & i...but this time, we're taking a box of freaks along w/ us. i get to treat these fine people to all kinds of sleazy mayhem. it's a talent of mine. i can turn a simple trip to the beach into a bizarre occult ritual. i'll be raising a bit of hell & generally enjoying myself. catch you later!