not really. but sort of. during my lunchbreak at work, i was stopped by a little girl holding a kitten. she told me about how the kitten's mother had been killed by horse and she wasn't allowed to keep her. it was the cutest little thing. longhaired, gray, persian-type furl; tiny paws, and big brown eyes. i called home, but nobody answered. the kitten needed a home. i needed a kitten. problem solved. i got an empty box from the stockroom and drove the kitten home. i put her in an old birdcage with some water and some sliced banana and told my parents what was going on before going back to work. when i was gone, my parents set her up in the shop with a cushion, a "litter box" (economy version: an old box from costco with some cat ltter we already had, unused) some kitten food and water. i talked with my mom about the kitten. she understood how i felt about the kitten, but i will be responsible for getting her spayed and making sure she's properly trained and flealess. i've named her sylvie. my little silver cat.

Yay! I'm so excited...I miss my kitties so much. Give her a big squeeze for me. And tell us more about her kittenish antics...

well, i was playing with her and she got hungry, so she ate from her food dish then stepped into it to reach her water dish...elle est si mignon!!! i was setting up a bed for he with rags and old towels on her cushion, and she kept on jumping on the rags i was rolling up to form the "nest"...i had to push her out of the way. she wants to follow me everywhere, even to the point that she climbs up my jeans halfway to my knee. she also pooed in my car on the way home. not a smell i really appriciate, but it's worth having a kitty of my own.

One of my cats likes to follow me everywhere. If my father and I went on a walk together, both of them would follow us, but if it ws just me wandering around, Shadow would, well, Shadow me. It was the funniest thing. I love my cats. Frightened young cats poo. It's very irritating. It sounds like she's playful, that's a good thing. I like playful cats.

her tail shakes until i get her to purr. which isn't very hard. i need to call around on monday to see how much it will cost for a kitten checkup, to make sure she's vaccinated and everything. i think this is the beginning of a be-yew-ti-ful friendship.

Make sure to ask also about free spay/neuter programs...the American Vetrinary Association just gave millions of dollars to a feral cat spay/neuter program, or you might have a local spay/neuter fund who can help you pay. Vetrinary care can get quite expensive.

hmmm...i wonder if the humane society has services availiable for pre-owned pets. i know that the $40 adoption fee includes spay/neuter and shots. one of my friends used to work there.

Is this just a private conversation, or can anyone join?

Anyone can join. We just got into it since we were both here, and then I got distracted. I'm sober now.

i love kittens. We had a cat, Misty (she was grey - we didnt give her that orginal name, Mum rescued her from bad people) and she used to follow us to the beach across the road. you'd go jogging thru the sand dunes and she'd tag along. cute. we had to put her down last month cause she had some form of cat cancer. I cried.

My cat has cancer. I hope I don't have to put him down, I think we may have to amputate.

Misty was beyond help. She was too old for the operation to be successful, and if it had of been she would of had to learn to walk again.

i worked until 11 tonight, and when i got home i went looking around in the shop for sylvie. "kitten, kitten, SYLVIE!!!" i called, turning on all the lights. but she wasn't there, so i came in the house. my mom was awake, barely. "oh, lauren, i put the kitten in the laundry room." i have never been so relieved in my life. so i gave sylvie some lovin' then left her to sleep on her bed of rags and travel pillow. she is so damn cute!!!

*smile* Sometimes with old cats it is too late. It's very sad. I know that my cats aren't going to live forever, but I hope they live a long, long time so I can have them around during this rough period.

i spent a lot of time with my cats this weekend. they think they are people.

Maybe they are...God. I can't wait to see my cats again.

patrick, your cats sometimes say "funny people, they think they are cats" - my cat can kick your cat's ass.

your pussies still have claws? my cats are ghetto...they don't fight fair...

Not only does my pussy have claws, it has teeth. I couldn't imagine declawing my cats. It would make me so sad. They love to hunt and destroy my couch and play too much for that. Sometimes, I have to trim Shadow's claws, since they grow funny and prod me in the arm when I sleep.

the big one doesn't have front claws. it doesn't matter, though. she'll still kick asses. i didn't do it, btw.

she would be so dead both my kitties are ghetto rescues, both have serious psychological issues (look at their owners), both have been outdoor and indoor cats (i.e. experience scrapping), both still have claws and they both team up to fight dirty, and both are extremely intelligent. kitty death match bring it on!

but in short, im sure you have a wonderful pussy nate, i would never really want to pit it against my feline death machines, kitties fighting is such an ugly sound, not to mention to watch.

It is. Sometimes my cats have little kittie wars, and it makes me sad and nervous to hear. They get so unhappy with each other. *reow* *rrargh* I feel so horrid when I hear it. Bell's a big wuss, he was afraid of my cockotiel. Shadow kind of bullies him about. Poor guy.

we used to have three cats. they were the neighbourhood gang. they used to beat the crap out of any cat that stepped on our property. Misty used to distract while Duff and Felix attack from either side. mean little bastards. then they'd come inside and purr and cuddle.

Sappho gets along great with humans (especially men---she's like her momma, starts drooling at the slightest whiff of testosterone) but put another cat anywhere near her and holy shit. It's not that she's aggresive...I think it's more that she gives off vibes and other cats don't like her right away. I even tried bringing a kitten home once...thing was about two inches tall and he still pushed all the hair up on his back and hissed at her. She beats the poop out of my ferrets tho. Man.

Aren't ferrets illegal? Or is this just in some states?

sylvie has the most energy i've ever seen in a cat. she'll jump about three times her height trying to get at the feathered mouse.

meow. My cats get like that sometimes. They just go bonkers after something. I'll see them on December 16.

I think all kitties have their "freak out" periods. Unfortunately, my kitty usually chooses 3 am to do it.

Mine too...I loved it, though.

I usually sleep nude and on my 10th anniversery(I'll naver forget this)my cat woke me up trying to nurse off me.Freaked me out!!

*laugh* that's great. Sometimes bell chews on my buttons and nibbles and nurses and frets them until they break...

sylvie tries to climb up everyone's legs. she sit until you're standing still, and then, before you know it, she's almost to your armpit. i had to pryher off my dad because he was fixing a salad. she's got a nice setup in the laundry room...i was playing with her and the feathered mouse and it got stck on the drying rack...she pulled off a couple of rags trying to get to it. my dad's still not convinced that i should keep her. i'm trying to earn brownie points buy picking up some cat litter at the store, then changing it without being asked...i even bought a cat nail trimmer so i can take care of it if she begins to scratch the furniture. she's becoming more vocal. just a few mews now and again, to tell us that she wants something. she knows her place, and always runs downstairs to use the litterbox, unlike ~some~ cats i know... *thinks of the cat (buttons) in the garage,who catches mice, eats them, then throws them up on the living room carpet*

It's good that she knows the litterbox...she sounds like a sweetie. Just keeping wearing away at your father, eventually he has to give in. I had a really wierd dream about my cats last night. I called and I guess they're ok, but I'm still worried.

my dad grew up on a farm where everything was evetually eaten...i don't think he understands my need for animal companionship. or the caring of them.

Hrm. I grew up on a farm also, I was a goatherd for a while too, and I don't have that emotion. We had farm animals which weren't used for meat, and we had good relationships with them...what kind of farm did your dad grow up on, Pez? A commercial farm where they raise animals solely for meat?

no, just a family farm where they'd butcher cows and chickens for thir own consumption. they lived next door to a dairy. my dad was raised in a way that animals were useful or food. i once had a couple of pet rabbits and he butchered them without warning. sometimes i think my dad has issues. big ones.

Wait..he butchered your pets? What the fuck. Please explain.

yeah, my sister and i had a couple of rabbits who were easter presents when i was eleven. they weren't the most behaved (mine bit and rachel's scratched) but it was okay. the next year my dad was given a couple of ducklings for easter. i had a friend over to spend the night, and after taking her home in the morning, i wanted to go play with my rabbit. so i went to the cage and they were gone. my sister was at a friend's house, so i went to ask my dad. so i did, and his reply was "do you see those two boards?" he'd skinned and butchered the rabbits and wrapped the skins around two boards which are still hanging up in the shop. he wanted me to eat them, too, but i refused. i've talked to some of my friends about my dad and mostly they think he's sadistic.

That's pretty sad, Pez.

That's ridiculous. Fucking no one should kill another person's pet. That's such shit. I would have skinned my father if he had done that.

Your dad should be reported to the proper authorities.

but he's my dad. i can't do that. that's why i wanted to move out, to get away from all the family problems.

shit does he often wake you up with a chainsaw and hockey mask too? for a laugh? sheeesh, skinning your daughters pet rabbits, seems awfully sadistic and cruel.

just because he fucked your mom doesn't mean you owe him anything. damn. tell him he should start sleeping with one eye open.

Yeah, really. Fucking report him for being a 1st degree asshole.

"yeah, officer, my dad butchered my rabbits" "when did this happen?" "six years ago" i'd sound like a real dope. over the years i did things to empower myself. i told my dad that if he wanted to drink beer, i wanted to drive (after i got my permit). i screwed up my fucking life just to keep them happy. sometimes i think that my parents don't want to be happy, they'd rather have money and be-in-control. i remember talking at my 18th birthday (they wouldn't even let me have friends over!) telling my parents that i wanted to join the peace corps. my mom got all paranoid and told me about a friend of hers in college who died because her brother was in the peace corps and she went to visit. eh, it's life. i can't do much about it.

you're 18. you can do anything you want about it. i wouldn't live with that shit. are you mormon?

Nate makes a damn good point there. You shouldn't have to deal with that stuff.

age 18 is WAY too old to be tied to the mom n' dad show. get out while the gettin's good. it's worth it for your sanity.

bingo i left at 18, suddenly my life was more peaceful. it took a few years for my mom to realize i was in control, and she would do better to sit, trust and be happy for me. she was amazingly overbearing, pushy, bullish and downright mean at times to me when i was a teen... when i left home, never looking back, never asking for help, made my own decisions and my own successes, she suddenly found a new respect for me.

I left home at 15,after a few trys at 14,and if my dad killed my pet and rubbed it in my face,I would have bolted sooner,or killed the bastard.

no, i'm not mormon. just scared. i have no clue how much it costs to live on my own. will i be ablt to make it into the honor society? will i have to quit school and work full time? moving out would be a good idea, gas-wise. i could use the extra time for work and studying. but it would mean paying rent, insurance, food...and i'd need to buy a computer that's up-to-date. hardly anything bad happened to me for so long because i just closed the door and read. but some of the punishments i got for doing things were rather harsh. if i slammed a door, my bedroom door got taken off its hinges. if i yelled because nobody would listen, i lost my music. if i didn't have my homework done, i'd be made to quit activities that were almost over. as in two days before the performance. i try and i try to do well. i study at work. i study at home. i almost study in my sleep. but i'm not doing enough chores, paying enough attention to my grandparents. they think i can do more because i'm home more. but i work just about every single evening and all weekend. i have school during the day and i have homework. but what about doing things with my friends? right now i've alienated just about everyone i know because i hardly have the time to pick up the phone. my parents consider themselves very generous because i never had to work during high school. they saved up nothing for me to go to college, and i never worked until this last june because i had no transportation other than my feet before and i wasn't supposed to work at safeway. i want to write for a living, if i can.

in my opinion, fuck the honor society. nobody cares about the honor society. it's not going to add a penny to your post-college salary. it's not going to make your day to day life any better. find a roomate. i have no idea what rent is like where you live, but you have to be able to get housing in a shared apartment for under $350 a month. computer: apple loan: http://store.apple.com/1-800-780-5009/WebObjects/EducationIndividual?type=higherEd just do it. break away. you'll find what it means to be yourself without your parents.

it seems they may have even scared you into staying home. they seem a little dependent on you, making you spend time with the grandparents? it seems maybe their parents did the same to them. yeah, what he said, look for place within walking distance, get a bike, it's not as scary as it seems. your independence is a threat to your parents, so expect them be asses about it....be strong

well, i do have some things to use when i move out. my grandmother gave me some dishes that they weren't going to use (they moved into a retirement home). my mom said that i could have her bike, but i'll need to have it fixed. around my 19th birthday i'll begin having medical insurance of my own, and i can get dental services at the college. i want to get into the honor society to show everyone that i can do whatever i want, i'm a responsible adult. it might help my chances at getting some assistance with my tuition. and i do know that if i live on my own and pay for my own schooling i'll qualify for food stamps. i've been gathering information about free services that i can qualify for. i do know that there are certain classes that freddy's will pay for if i take them. the college and freddy's are both in the area that's catered to by tri-met, so i can still get around somewhat. * * * * * on the sylvie front, she has fleas, but i gave her a bath so hopefully the problem will get better.

"i want to get into the honor society to show everyone that i can do whatever i want, i'm a responsible adult. " i never made honor society. i do fine. start doing things for yourself. if you want to make honor society to prove to yourself that you're something, then do it. i don't think anyone here gives a rat's ass. you're valued for things that matter.

Yeah worry about the things that really count...I value Nate for his ass. Other than that, he's not worth a fuck.

have you seen my ass? wow.

pez, dishes and the sort can be easily attained cheaply at a thrift store. loans can get your through college, if you don't mind being a repayment whore when you are done. you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. honor society does not equal responsibility. you shouldn't have to be a student and have food stamps, and most starving students i know never had to go that far. with loans taking the brunt of college off your back, a full time job, making say, $6/hour or so should help. Also, you might be able to find some work at the school library which could help you with extra cash, while giving you time to do some studying as well. and THEN, though this be the unpopular option and could send your folks into a whirlwind of an uproar. you could take some time off, pack a bag, and your flute and hit the road...enjoy life a bit. People always assume that college RIGHT after high school is the best.....i spent a year in school, working full time to pay my rent, car, drums and pot...i nearly had a breakdown..i wasn't ready. im too curious, and too stubborn. I had palyed by their rules for 18 years. i had to go experience life and go to college on my terms. my mom stated that if i dropped out she would never help me go back..fine i said. that was the best decision i ever made. i went out, worked and played....finally when i was 23, i decided i was ready to go back to school. on MY terms, not my moms, I had no one to answer to but myself. this time around, i was not concerned about grades, diplomas or any of that crap. i got more out of those classes, than those who did keep up with that crap, constantly worrying about eh end result and not paying attention to the details being taught can inhibit learning. im going to be going back in January, to get more. you wanna write? get a job to pay the necessities, move out, enjoy life, live a little, see whats there and THEN re evaulate what you want. Too often what a 18 says they want to do is not always what they ending up really wanting to do in 3,4,5 years. eitherway, there is no rush to do college. you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself, and i think perhaps the sooner you realize this, the less your parents nonsensical crap will mean to you. hopefully, like my mom, the less dependent you are on them, over time, the more respect they will have for you as an individual. eitherway good luck, be happy, you have options. my ass is WAYYYYYYY better than nate's, you fools have been misled

Well how about you both send me ass pics and I'll be the judge? Sorry Pez, but you just don't seem mature enough to leave home to me...maybe because you've been in a sheltered environment or maybe because I'm getting old and have lost touch. You're still going away on holidays with your parents and fighting over food with them...all things which speak to me more of a 16 year old than someone at College. If you do decide to leave, go for a dorm situation where you will still have some support systems around you.

Here's how I did/am doing stuff. I'm 20. I went to college immediately after High School. I moved to a school that took 8 hours to drive to in my breaking-down Penguin-painted 1980 Toyota Pickup. I didn't let my parents come. I didn't know anyone at my school, but I lived in the dorms, and met lots of people and grew up a lot. At 18, I was not ready to live on my own. I learned rapidly that going home for vacations was a waste of vacation. I learned about paying bills and saving money and not answering to anyone. I went home for the Summer, but I hated it, and left halfway through. I spent some time trying to find a job at the beginning of my second year, and got a pretty good one shortly after school started again. I lived in the dorms again, and worked before and after classes every weekday. I went home for christmas. I bought a car on ebay with a loan. As the school year wound down, I looked for a roommate and an apartment. Found a good apartment and an ok roommate, and started working full time (I had been half-time during school) and found that I made enough for Rent, Utilities, Insurance, Food, and a little play money. Now I live in the same apartment with a rockin' roommate, I work part-time again, and I'm propering. I kinda took thing in stages, but the big step is definately getting the hell away from the parents. I'm still waiting for my mom to realize that she's not in control anymore (she pretends she is... It's kinda weird. I ignore her a lot) and my dad respects me, and we probably get along better than we ever did. If any of that helps, cool. It's not nearly as exciting and taking-control-of-my-life as what I'm reading from the rest of you, but it's working for me.

I can't really talk. I lived with my father forever. Whatever. It was good, we love each other. He's talking about moving out here with me. I hate my housemate. I want out of this living situation so badly. FUCK! Goddamnit this is driving me fucking insane.

my parents try to rule my entire life. they keep a schedule of my classes and are always asking me when i work. they try and control how much i drive, but i'm paying for my own gas and i try not to do that much anyway. the first time i was even allowed to go out with friends at night was about two months after i turned 18. for ages afterward i wasn't allowed out again. my dad even checked on me when i was talking in the parking lot after work! the vacation things...i tried and i tried to convince them that i couldn't go, the first time i went one afternoon after work and i came home before work (with my dad because they didn't want me to drive alone). the second time they called my boss and made sure that i'd have the time off. i tried to tell my parents that i needed to work as much as possible so i could save for school when i'd work less, but they wouldn't even act like they were listening. do i even have a voice? sometimes i wonder.

Move out.

Did everyone forget that lovely touchy feely buzzword of the 90's: co-dependecy?

move out pez, seriously, thats obnoxious. your dad's an ass

you should probably move to a different state. what kind of school are you going to now? you should get applications going out to schools either all over your state or all over the country. once you get accepted somewhere, the schools will help you figure out the money.

i'm going to community college right now...my parents paying my tuition while i pay for the other school expenses. righ now i want to get my grades up so i can hopefully transfer within the next year. the only problem is that i don't know where to go. my parents think that i should go to psu (my dad's alma mater...living at home and driving 25 miles one way) or to osu (my mom's alma mater...agriculture and home economics) the schools i was interested in before i gave up music were berklee and cornish. but i'd love to go to school in seattle or boston, as i have friends in both places.

i'm going to community college right now...my parents paying my tuition while i pay for the other school expenses. righ now i want to get my grades up so i can hopefully transfer within the next year. the only problem is that i don't know where to go. my parents think that i should go to psu (my dad's alma mater...living at home and driving 25 miles one way) or to osu (my mom's alma mater...agriculture and home economics) the schools i was interested in before i gave up music were berklee and cornish. but i'd love to go to school in seattle or boston, as i have friends in both places.

deja vu

whoopsie

cornish is expensive, but you could get financial aid. it's a good school, albeit a little small and incestuous. and seattle is a really pricey place to live if you have never lived on your own before, but you could do it. have you checked out evergreen: http://www.evergreen.edu you could move to washington for a year, work and establish residency, and then go to school for a lot less. olympia's cost of living is a lot less than seattle, and it's only an hour away. you could visit whenever you felt the urge. i think it's like $8,000 a year for in state tuition.

where can i find this "dad"? i want to feed him his balls. where do people get off thinking they can behave so badly and not get their asses whooped?

cat, pez needs to go away away away away everyone should go away- to college or somewhere else. anyone can handle it. you have to. and at least at college you can get help.

one of my cousins went to evergreen for a while. she thought it would be a place i'd like. there are so many things that i want to do...it might be fun to try and work my way around the world, picking up different jobs as i go, writing the odd letter home. it would drive my mother nuts. but that really sounds like fun, actually. get a good backpack and a sleeping bag, and just go. my passport is less than two years old...

you should not be concerned with whatever probs your folsk have with your independence, its not for them to decide anymore. use caution, as many parents try and use money to keep their children on a leash, if they threaten to cut off funding, of any kind, let em.

Pez, move out!

i'm working on it. this summer they claimed that they'd have my room finished by september if i helped out more. i helped out as much as i could, but they're "painting the bathroom" (re: i have no permanent spot for my contact cleaner) instead. i didn't even see any paint last week. i'm going to check at school and see if anyone needs a roomie.

Good idea. Just get out of the house. It's destructive. I have a huge bump on the underside of my jaw. Last night's Salem/drunkeness must have done more than I thought. Damn.

For Pez,http://www.americorps.org/