Spam. Bad. From: "Spanky LeRu" <spankyleru@hotmail.com> To: <lots of emails, including some sorabjiites> CC: <lots of emails, including some sorabjiites> Date: Wed, 01 Nov 2000 13:27:30 PST hey girl! it's been a long time since i've seen you. hell, it's been a long time since we've even talked. even so, i can't stop thinking about you. those secret moments we shared. it was only a weekend, but the memories seem like years. i remember that night you snuck out from your parents' house so that we could be alone in my room at the motel. it was raining heavily, but you made that walk anyway. you looked so sad when i opened the door to your little knock. soaked to the bone. but your eyes lit up the instant they connected with mine. do you remember? i had all those candles lit. i poured you a glass of boone's (strawberry hill - is it still your favorite?) we had cheddar cheese and ritz crackers. i'd brought my little boom box and we listened to garbage and alanis and sarah mclaughlin. you were lying in my arms, sipping boone's and telling me your dreams. we talked about our future together, the house we'd have, the cars, the kids. i think we named our future children that night, a boy and a girl: Samantha and Jon Thomas. you polished off that bottle of boone's and i opened up another. you said "boone's is the best because you never need a corkscrew." i said, "i've got your corkscrew right here." we laughed and laughed. we laughed until we cried, and before we knew it the second bottle of boone's was gone. we both smoked a clove then, sitting crosslegged on the bed staring into each other's eyes. you finally broke the silence, daring me to take of my shirt. i did, and then dared you. you did, and then before either of us knew what was happening we were naked. i recall clearly how gingerly you took my * into your mouth. i reached down and brushed your hair from your face and you nodded up and down on my throbbing *. licking and sucking, the hair on my arms rising. you slipped a finger into my * and i rocketed hot * down the back of your throat. we lay back again, smoked another clove. i opened up a bottle of tequila rose and we took shots. i moved down your form, licking my way down your happy trail, but you stopped me before i reached your velvet * curtains. "no, it's my time." you said. i looked, and sure enough there was a string. i must have looked disappointed, because you reached down and took my * into your hand. you started stroking me slowly, occasionally spitting into your hand until my * was slick with your saliva. then you rolled onto your belly and, reaching behind you, took my * and moved it towards your * . i pushed the head of my * against your * . rubbing it slowly up and down the crack of your *, adding my own saliva to the mix. when the time was right, i slid my * into your * , causing you to gasp. in and out, i rode you for hours. i came once, twice... three times, m'lady. you must have * my little men for days after that. i miss you. i really, really do.

At least it was vaguely well written spam? Have to give it some plusses.

that was the response, reply-to-all. the spam itself was one of those surveys "one pillow or two?" "shampoo or conditioner?" "one,two or three access ladies?"

It was a good idea. I'm a little tired of surveys. I don't reply to them anymore. Period. I think lameness of them. I think that forwards and surveys should eat themselves.

i totally blew it, though. i think i forgot to even send it to the originator. just the list. oh well. i don't know who the bulk of the people are.

Oh well...

err. yeah. fuck that. i hate spammy shit like that. at least tell us who the hell you are!

Well, at least now I know where it came from. I figured it was my karmic reward for torturing people with that awful "How well do you know me" survey. *coughs at Pez*

I actually rather liked it. I thought it was a good response to a silly idea. I think I might have to come up with a stock reply that fun. At least it was something a little unique, instead of a forward with endless line breaks and 18 pages of headers and nastiness, which some people seem intent on sending me. Spam is evil. It should be outlawed.

wait. what? dude, like, i still DONT know what's going on.

do you talk like that in reality?

does god piss in the woods? Z: Pez mass mailed about 150 unfortunates. I replied to them all with that story. the idea was all these people i don't know would think that pez and i had some unholy tryst. unfortunately, i kind of blew it. that and i don't know pez's real name, so it was hard to be authentic. but who cares. 150 unfortunates got some low grade porn.

I think God only pisses on me. I'm going to send you a little bulk spam, so all my friends will think I'm getting some. I especially like the line "you must have * my little men for days after that". Keep that. But can you please change all the "*'s" for really filthy words. I don't want my mates thinking I'm doing some bloody mormon nice boy.

Cat you continue to smack down my planet. I am almost afraid of when I get my home computer back up again for the stuffed mailbox I will have.

I got it. I thought it was funny. and prehaps a good lesson. i dont mind stuff like that ocassionally from people I know well, or pisstake things, but its a bit much when it turns up at work.

What does the * stand for anyway? Love nugget? electric beaters? flyswat? pink-and-white polkadot scarf? boomerang?

Insert the words "monkey's dick" after "my" and in place of "*".

I was asking Z about whether or not he talks like that in the real world. I'm curious.

oh my. i didn't really read this thread until now. i plead temporary insanity. i was guilty. i have sent another forward out, but only to people that sed me forwards anyway and i went to highschool with. oh yeah, and the name's alanna baiser.

sometimes, gee. sometimes not. it all varies.

that's really shitty, pez.