THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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I had just moved to Oregon,[from the desert],and was in awe of the beauty of the forrest.I was out with a new guy,and we were driving through the mountains,and I was taking in the majesty of this wilderness,when I looked up,and blurted out in amazement,"My God!Look at the size of that squirrel!" It was a 45 pound beaver. |
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on about our 3rd date we were sitting on my couch talking. she was actually very intelligent and opinionated. whatever subject we had been talking about had trailed off and there was a lull in the conversation. she looked down at the cushion and said, shyly: "i just now noticed your monkey. i like it." "excuse me?" "your monkey." she points to a little statue i have of a chimpanzee sitting on a stack of books (plato, darwin) and contemplating a human skull. "thanks." another time we were in the car. i was driving. she new a cousin of mine named morgan (a guy) and for some reason we started trying to think up nicknames for him. "i know," she said, "morgan the organ!" "i think any young man would be proud to have a name like that." "i think it would be a good name for a boxer. i can see him getting into the ring with that written on his robe." "are you serious?" i said. i looked over at her. she was serious. "don't you think it sounds more like a name for a porn star? what organ do you think people will think of when they see 'morgan the organ.'" she thought about it. "oh." |
droopy's old girl was funnier, though. |
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sorry no cute one s i can think of now. but i ve alwaysa been lame around girls especially hot ones |
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i was at some college kegger. i'd drank about a gallon of natty ice (or something equally foul.) i was sitting on a couch talking to some young cute thing. my buddy came up, telling me it was time for us to leave. i put my hand up next to my face, shielding my mouth from the young cute thing (you know, so i could whisper a secret to my buddy.) i whispered: "I'm just about to get laid." being drunk, it was hardly a whisper. my buddy tells me all conversation in the room stopped. the girl went red, looked shocked and afraid. luckily, i didn't put up much resistance as he dragged me from the house. |
tonight would be "I really like your boots" but everyone else heard "I really like your boobs" including the secretary in the blue dress. ever, well, there once was a guy who really thought he couldn't tell this beautiful woman of his admiration for me, and didn't...because he was afraid of rejection, embarrassment, and general hassling from his friends because he "met her on the internet." And then of course, said asshole proceeds to tell the beautiful woman he can't tell his friends about her because he met her on the internet. And so he devalues the woman right then and there and she never responds to his emails anymore. Or something like that. |
My girlfriend and I were talking about sex once and she asked me what I thought about sex in general... My response was not the smooth telling her what she wants to hear response it was... "I'm male, I have to like sex in my genes." She got really quiet after that, I don't think that is what she was expecting... |
UH OH. Cops, priests, social workers, the local press. He got me pregnant and we had to move to Cincinatti under an assumed name. Anyway the baby was still born and he was so upset he tried to kill himself with a chisel. I should have kept my big mouth shut. I never married him he is in the state pen serving 5 to 10 for aggravated rape of a minor! His attorney tried to blame me for setting a bad example!!! What a life |
c'est la vie. strange. |
LS |