My nephew recently stayed for a visit, and in a chalet desk in the guest room where he stayed, I discovered a hand rolled cigarette. It is almost certainly marijuana; the scent is somewhat piney and rather pleasant. I smoked some hashish with tobacco in Paris, during the early 70's, but that is the extent of my foray into the illicit underworld of narcotics. I've left it in the cubby for now, and wonder if Mr Stickley ever thought that his wonderfully crafted desk would be the bearer of such a dark secret. Oh dear.

who the hell are you? [excuse my outburst]

Someone much like you, I imagine.

oh. you are so tricky.

I've tried pot once but it didn't seem to do much. I was told that sometimes it goes that way, but you absolutely get high the second go around. Who knows if I'll ever find out.

you can't get pregnant your first time smoking weed.

This whole conversation has me so unnerved,that I think I need to go take a Xanax.

And a few vallium while your at it wouldn't hurt, make sure to wash it down with a good glass of JimBeam.

when i made brownies last week....i saw god. im making them again this week. there's really no point in smoking when you realize the true potential of eating your dope.

i am drinking coffee and listening to lalo guerrero's "marihuana[sic] boogie."

Taste... however I guess your right, brownies problably taste better. Send me some.

In case you REALLY want to know how to use Marijuana in cooking: Melt one pound of butter over a low flame. Add a 1/2 ounce of low cost grass. Homegrown works great, or whatever you can get. Don't use the nice green buds like we have out here in California..Thats a waste. Simmer this for about 10 minutes. Your butter should now be pretty green. Strain this through a cheesecloth into a bowl, and refrigerate it. You can now use it in a recipe. The BEST brownie recipe can be found on the back of the bitter-sweet baking chocolate squares. It calls for a fair amount of butter. It's a much classier way to make brownies than just dumping a bag into the Betty Crocker mix. No nasty organic particulate to get stuck between your teeth. You can even use that butter to make shrimp scampi. Serve with lots of French bread to sop up that green goodness! Enjoy!

I won't even start on this.

But, my friend Frank the Fed will be paying you a visit. Then maybe you can be the guest of the federal penal system.

what the fuck are you talking about watcher? don't even make implications like that motherfucker. Its cool to lead such a square life from the humdrum of your the cube of the doublespeak thoughtcrime gov't agency you work for, but don't be tossing around threats, idle or not about your Federal friends paying anyone a visit in terms of smoking or eating pot. the cheese cloth drainage, and refrigeration are entirely unnecessary. Though the butter saute and 1/8 amount are indeed correct. Only on occasion did i get a taste of the maryjane in my brownie and it certainly was bad or over powering.

Sorry, pal. I live in Northern California. We're pretty much hassle free when it comes to pot. I have even grown it in a planter box outside my kitchen window, and never had a problem. You police state types are scary...No one is allowed to have a good time because you're a prude with a stick up his ass. Make the brownies and try to remember, you get out of the world what you put in. Lighten up.

Sorry, I thought better of that post afterwards. But, at least it shows you are a little worried. Another good reason to stay away from that stuff. Can't waite for them to make junk food illegal.

oh please. just because its illegal doesnt mean the law is just. There isnt any worry, just annoyance that anyone still considers the law banning pot just and right. There's no more danger in smoking pot than there is in eating red meat or drinking.

who are you and where in northern california?

im pretty sure thats isolde.

Jesus... Humm lets look at the difference between a pot head and an alcoholic. A drunk is extreamly dangerous behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, and they cause thousands of deaths a year. A pot head can't find his damn keys. An abusive alcoholic beats his wife and kid after coming home from the bar. An abusive pot head, forgets to remove the seeds from his cheap weed, and never cleans his bowl out. Being an alcoholic cause problems. Being a pot head causes weird discussions, and exploits into expeiriemental engineering.

It wasn't me. But I did find pot plants in the woods behind my house when I first moved here. I decided to just ignore them.

Your typical cannabis has approximately 400 to 500 interesting materials, mostly alkaloid poisons, of some varying quantities, with approximately 35 to 50 real nasty items involved. Only one or two are of any real interest: paraquat that destroys kidney function has creeped into the heredity chain of even the best bud these days, and good old delta 9 thc, the one of several mood altering brain affecting alkaloids...the only one science seems genuinely interested in... The chemical itself is very dificult to purge from the human body because it is primarily fat soluable, and hangs around on the neuronal sheath around each and every one of 10(to the 17 power) million nerve endings through the human body. There are nerve endings everywhere in the live system except hair and fingernails. Anyway, it's not donut fat but nervous system fat that is of concern here. It takes up to a usual 36 months after the last ingestion or inhalation to be entirely leeched from the nervous system, unlike alcohol which has lingering effects for 24 months or so, and cocaine intranasal use 6 to 18, and crack, upwards of 24 months again. So cannabis is one of the longest lasting contaminants. If smoked, the amount of harmful tars as well as the thc stuff, in cannabis, is incredibly a 10 to 20 times more dangerous to the lungs than the worst no filter Pall Mall ever was. Ever see the tar dripping off the end of a joint? the resin in the bottom of the bowl? we scrape it out, and smoke it again, and what we smoke is pretty concentrated and nasty stuff. Smoking a joint is about the same as smoking a pack of unfiltered Pall Malls when it comes to lung damage. I'm not very interested in lung problems...which may include emphysema and other smoking related problems 20 to30 years after stopping smoking. I am interested in the brain contamination. The neuronal sheath is contaminated and made up to 100 times thicker than it needs to be, thereby making meaningful conversation and other synaptically sensitive operations laughable and nonsensical...the neurochemicals simply cannot leave the brain tissue and do their jobs properly. This contamination takes three years to leave the system, and no amount of water, "clean out" or anything can hasten it. We knew this twenty years ago, before all the research money went into cocaine courtesy of Geo Bush Sr. What we didn't know until the 90's and the introduction of positron emmission tomography: Properly smoked, canabis reduces T cell count, making it contraindicated in AIDS or terminally ill patients, for the physician's hippocratic oath states that physicians should do no harm, and advising a terminally ill patient to smoke mary jane to counter attacks of nauseau (which is does very well) actually hastens their death (thus the AMA's stand on Mary Jane). Secondly, it gets inside the cell which we didn't think could happen. Thirdly, a one hitter on the way to work reduces peripheral vision the same amount as being intoxicated 1 1/2 x the legal limit of alcohol in most state. We didn't realize that potheads, though, easily became "habituated" to driving that way. They simply couldn't see the car next to them, so they learned to turn their heads frequently. Driving drunk takes more pratice but is doable too. Additionally, cannabis though it reduces ocular pressure is not the best choice for glaucoma these days. The PDR references many other and better and less toxic combinations, though true, in support of a runaway pharmaceutical industry and not your local farmer. And speaking of "these days," the weed I smoked in the 60's had a thc concentration of may be 6 to 10 %; all government studies use government grown pot (grown in the south; these guys could take lessons from some of my clients on how to grow good weed) which has a uniform and poor thc content of about 6 to 10 %. Weed today, "better living through chemistry" as DuPont said, has an on the street thc content of usually 15%, with good hydroponic stuff approaching anywhere from 20 to 30% thc...this is not your daddy's weed... Eating weed is a different matter, but the brain chemistry alteration is still the same. Route of administration is important: inhaling the gaseous form of alcohol can cause death very quickly. Drinking is safer, more available. Smoking crack is infintely worse than inhaling coke, regardless of contaminants. Smoking weed is the easiest and most harmful way of using cannabis. For instance, I can chop my plastic keyboard up into small pieces, chew carefully, and probably eliminate the entire Compaq computer through my intestinal system with little harm. BUT...Pour lighter fluid on it, and inhale the smoke from the burning plastic, and I've got incredible carcinagens now in my lungs. And I can die within minutes from smoke inhalation. Same type of damage with smoking versus ingesting weed. I'm not suggesting eating brownies is safer...Compare smoking Salem menthols with chewing Red Jacket...different cancers but both are deadly. Back to the brain cell though: not only does the thc and other carcinagenic alkaloids contaminate the exterior of the neuronal sheath (which we knew about years ago and thought was the only, and easily reversed damages from pot smoking) but it also is seen to enter the cell itself, surrounding the nucleous and the mitochondria and the synaptic vesicules, disabling them, but perhaps -- we dunno -- permanently harming them... and producing a profoundly dysfunctional cell. There are other interesting points to go up in smoke...such as reducing males hormones to the point of (yes) impotency...but more likely infertility because of slow swimming sperm; sperms counts may be regular, but the strength, determination, and health of the little swimmers is all compromised. And for a pregnant woman, the many miscarriages that go uncounted and unsolved...because weed has gotten into the placenta (which is mostly fat) and precipitated the premature separation of the baby from the wall of the womb...and the reduction of male hormones while smoking that Years Later results in the formation of heavy breasts in otherwise normally endowed men who haven't smoked in years. Some interesting questions not yet solved. But my interest in marijuana is very slight. Indeed. Ask me sometime about the structural and functional similarities in the brain cells of cocaine users and gamblers...that really gets me excited. Find good information...make informed decisions ...about addictive substances or even my favorite allegedly non addictive ones: peyote or PCP. Yeah, sex organs of a flower or elephant tranqs...used recreationally. Yep. By the way, your first DWI in El Salvador results in execution by firing squad. Glad I didn't live there.

PS I like my brownies with that funny white powder dusted ever so lightly on top. Washed down with a little lime aid and ever clear... so don't argue with me... the old gorrilla gets very upset... nice gorrilla...ni... GET THOSE DAMN GOATS OFF ME (mumbles to f'in white coated bastards stealing my breakfast of champions...)

and ... I forgot to mention that the half life of cannabis is about 72 hours whereas the half life of alcohol is thirty minutes...just basic science guys... meaning that when one ingests a 12 ounce 3.5%beer, a 1.5 ounce 40% shot of jack, or a 4 ounce 12% goblet of vino, (which btw contain the same amount of alcohol the liver must contend with) ... the time it takes for half the drug to "leave the body" and "cease immediate and acute effect" (liver decontamination time primarily)is but a half an hour. Drink one drink an hour, you'll not get too tipsy. We argue about cocaine: four to 18 hours... but cannabis is three days... meaning that the weed one smoked in the privacy of home on Saturday night is still with me on Monday morning... meaning that it keeps affecting my judgements and perceptions (which is why cannabis is chemically classified as a hallucinagen not a stimulant not a depressant) for a long time. Part of that is the fat soluable nature of the thing. There's a great study about airline pilots doing flight simulations while straight, while high, and again after 24 hours...the amount of impairment a day later, even two days later, was measnurable and significantly the same as when high. However their perceptions were that they were flying all right... makes one consider the safety of pilots...or truck drivers...the DOT / FFA only require no use for eight hours prior to driving or flying. If tghe pilot had eight beers ending at midnight, there's a problem with that 6am flight. If he's smoking hoochie...for the next three days.... Take Amtrak. Pass the benzodiazipines, with those long half lives...

Yawn.... Anyone remember where I parked the bong? Whose underpants are these around my neck?

More damage is done to the human psyche in the name of interior design than ever was wrought by narcotics. Imagine having sex under fluorescent lamps, or on plaid pseudo-colonial sofas. Diana Vreeland, the former editor of Womens Wear Daily, in an interview with Andy Warhol revealed this sage observation : I've never met a drug addict who didn't have the most BEAUTIFUL skin. In acknowledgement of Mr S's observation that long term Marijuana exposure will help increase the bust size, I've just packed an 1/8th into my Hello Kitty hookah, and am puff, puff, puffing my way to a more shapely figure. Bless you.

You go Martha!!! (but it's bust size of the MEN that increases...women already have those hormone thingies...)

I found this little tidbit at UTILIKILTS.COM written by Steven's dog.... I think Sem and Nate and all'o'us ought get some UTILIKILTS!!! "Ah! Redemption has been sought and served. We have found a river -always a refreshing stick retrieving environment. There's a friend here for me to play with but his human seems very uptight on her string. My friend and I sniff round and round, until the poor human has tangled herself up in her leash. It's hot out here; Dad and his mate are taking off their detachable pelts. I tell my friend to unleash his human but she has become panicky and out of control. My friend has to take her away on her leash. Dad throws a stick far upstream. The current is fast and challenging. I catch the stick ten times or so but I become easily frustrated. Some other peltless friends of dad and the mate come down to the water. They are smoking some very disturbing grass. Where's my stick? God I'm hungry. Dad and his mate wrestle in the mud. Dad wins, and he throws the mate into the river and then retrieves her. Usually I bark in the midst of this kind of excitement but the human friends' funny smoke encourages me to do nothing. I find myself staring attentively at...nothing. Suddenly, I realize that it doesn't matter whether I eat or not. This is it! This is perfect. This is living! Wow. Did I think that? Maybe I should go upwind of dad's friends, but this sand feels great between my paws. I think I'll dig..." Read the entire story at UTILIKILTS.COM...these guys obviously ought to be part of the sorabji family... Many thx to Iam Chain Ching for the link. Gotta pick out my birthday suit...er, present...

Thou shalt not blow pot smoke in thy pets face. -William S. Burroughs New Commandments "Suddenly, I realize that it doesn't matter whether I eat or not." Um, I don't think the humans are very adept at scoring weed. From fido's description, I think they're smoking catnip. Buncha squares. Bet they got "high" off the stuff too...

jesus christ daniel....that was some wank.

No shit, I'm looking for a iron lung on e-bay now.

That was too much for my gray matter to assimilate.I don't get it. I'm savin' up my Marlboro miles. When I save up enough,I'm gonna order that dandy,free,iron lung,thats in the Marlboro catalouge.I'll just have to pay shipping and handling charges,so I know I'm getting a good deal.

I knew a kid back east that would seek out the most dangerous substances imaginable, put them in a bag and huff them. He was always the one that would out-drug anyone, and be found passed out in his own urine. For some odd reason, he never vomited. I recall one evening, when the night was young, we were passing a joint around in someone's basement, when a segment on the local news caught our attention. It was about pregnant women drinking and smoking. The grave faced announcer finished up by smarmily shaking his head, and saying that fetal Alcohol Syndrome was absolutely unneccesary, and advising pregnant woman to call a toll free number for help. No one said anything for a few seconds, and our miscreant friend piped up "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Jesus! Any alcohol thats strong enough to cause a syndrome's gotta kick ass!! Where do I get me some of that Fetal Alcohol??!!". Ah, our misspent youth...

That's funny and scarey at the same time,I'd like to know where that guy is now and how's he doing now.Though it has nothing to do with drugs are booze that reminded me of something along time ago,I guess it's the not comprehending the language,I had a girlfriend that used to work at a Sambo's resturant(that's how long ago this was as they had to change their name cause it was real p.c incorrect)anyway she always was very loud,and she was from Queens N.Y and had that accent,I was waiting for her to get off shift and was having some coffee in a back booth out of the way.I couldn't even see her from where I was sitting but all of a sudden I could hear her big mouth ringing all around,"what do you mean scrupels"? "I never had a scrupel in my life"!I was laughing so hard I almost wet myself,when she finally got off work I asked her what that was all about,the customer was just teasing her,I asked her if she knew what scrupels where and of course she didn't,she thought it meant the crabs,when I told her what it really meant the look on her face was priceless.

Here are two examples why I have never used drugs. When I was fourteen years old on halloween night, while I was walking through the neighborhood, I was grabbed by a 17 to twenty year old woman who began screaming at me pleading for help because she was on a bad trip. I have never seen such total fear in a persons eyes like I saw in hers that night. She ran off before I could say or do anything to help her. I will never forget the look in her eyes for as long as I live. The second incident occurred last year. My next door neighbors son, who is in his mid twenties, OD'ed on what ever his drug of preferance was. He won't be doing that again. In fact he won't be doing much of anything else. He now has the mental capasity of a toddler. And, has lost the use of his right arm. He now goes to Adult Daycare where he'll be for the rest of his life. These are not movie scenes. Or, government propoganda. This is real life. I will never forget that insident when I was fourteen. And, any day I need a reminder of how bad drugs can be I only have to watch my neighbors son shuffle on to the bus that picks him up every morning.

i think that chick on halloween fooled you. i've dosed many times in my life and have never had a "bad trip". Though ive had a close friend get locked up from too much, ive never "freaked out". Im not doubting it can happen, but the fact that it was halloween night sounds like that lady was yankin yer chain....perhaps a Merry Prankster

sounds more like your problem was being in neighborhoods, man.

Do you drink Watcher? Please don't tell that you don't know any alcoholics if you do.

hey watcher, a stroke can have the same pleasant effects also, accidents of various kinds aneurisms a good beating

Why thankee Patty. I got some great slides of monkey brains before and after pot smoking, and of the neuronal sheath areas both post-pot and post alcohol. I'd send them off but I'm gonna look for something prettier and more up to date, and find a link...I think there's some delicately wonderful and current slides on the NIDA site. My stuff is ancient by comparison. I'll go look. And the problem with doing the cokeisworsethanpot or alcoholkillsmorethancrack arguments...is that any use of any mood altering chemical...appears to result in the formation of a brain changing residual chemical called tetrahydroisoquinilone or something spelled like that in the brain of the user, regardless of substance. There's a recent release of stats on drugs reported on ER visits at SAMSA which, yes, is a pseudogovernmental agency, but the research is mostly done by individuals out in the field, like poorly paid folk like me. I no longer do any research except that which concerns a few issues surrounding gambling, growing tails on lizards, and the occasional chinchilla. I never operated on our simian friends, never took biology or a counseling course, but then again, my email is something like thegorilla8m...and I is one o'dem. Personally, I like to take most of my beatings from Dr. Schaeffer's friends at the Harvard U School of Medicine Division on Addictions...and I a fervent believer in animal rights and the diversity principles of polymorpheus perversity (such as found herein lying about sorabjiplain and simple...but you all know that living in the midwaste I really know nothing. Hey...it's the show-me state; what can I say. See the slides; see the monkeys confused; divine the extrapolata on your own. Field research; bah. Too bad I wasn't born a scientist.

i clamped some jumper cables to my testicles once, but passed out from the pain before i could attach the other end to the battery. ALWAYS ATTACH TO THE BATTERY FIRST. i've got a glass of absolut here that i'm using the scrub all that tetracynideocarbonate off my brain. it's ruining my vision, though. fucking crackers. vodka is a fucking honkey drink. in an inclusionairy not exclusionairy kinda way. someday i'm gonna kill me a polack. it's a very personal matter. go ask me why i'm checking my corporate email in this state. spesticles. millennium jet. i read it as millennium jef. that would be a name for a company. fuck donkey. it's been a long time since i new what was good for me. where daniel lives i'd think i'd need a couple beers just to talk to anyone. what an odd fucking place that was. or un-odd, maybe. but that's just me. one more prejudiced californian with a feather in his hat. i am told that the rest of the country thinks we're brain dead stoner surfer DUUUUUDEs. we just figure everyone else hates us because we're better. that's my experience, anyway. fuckers.

I have <PERSONAL ANECDOTE> and <SELECTED SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE> that tells me to <PERFORM CERTAIN BEHAVIORS>. That's why I <ALWAYS/NEVER> <FELLATIATE HORSES>.

at least my jumper cable story is true. what particular- mood altering chemicals ...appear to result in the formation of a brain changing residual chemical called tetrahydroisoquinilone? caffeine is my mood altering addiction [though the moments of drunkeness are some of my favorites, i find it to be a chore to get there] and i want to know if it has the same tetrahedronal results also i would like to know if these results are actually a bad thing. and why.

It's easier to get it from you local neighborhood tetrahydroisoquinilone pusher.

in otherwords daniel, we could research the living frack out of everything that we take in, inadvertantly or consciously, be it the air, water, non-organic veggies so on and so forth and find some sort of damaging results. When you read shit like this and this and this oh wait and this too tell me why i would give a rats ass about your evidence of a "formation of a brain changing residual chemical called tetrahydroisoquinilone" because I smoke pot, and drink booze occassionaly take a pill and snort a line.

If it were available, yes, but it's not. It is a metabolic residual from opiates, and expected after opiate use. It is simply there after opiate use. With alcohol... Theory has it that some of the acetylaldehyde from beverage alcohol (etoh)(the poison my liver has to contend with when I drink,...even if I'm a social drinker, which btw, I never was[I'm alcoholic]) combined "possibly" with dopamine and creates THIQ is the brain tissues of alcoholics. A variation of this theory is that everyone who drinks etoh creates THIQ but only those predisposed to the disease actually create and store it. There are several dissenters and various theories. THe puzzling thing is that it is present despite a chemically different substance and a different process. With cocaine... A fairly decent body of literature has been accumulated on coke and thiq, and there's no reason why it should be there, either, but it is: one idea is that the benagonadonnanyte or some such shit that is the breakdown product of coke combines with another neurotransmitter...but the mechanism is clearly not fully understood. Snorting coke produces a different metabolite from smoking crack, though essentially the same substance to start with. The end result is the same. The result is: coke produces thiq. Ah with cannabis... Very little research on pot and thiq since Geo.Sr. put all the money into cocaine research in 1988. Most researchers make the assumption, and yes Patrick, it is only an assumption at this point, that thiq results from any use of any mood altering and addictive chemical. Which means one's use of prozac or paxil or anything else that changes mood is not sufficient to create THIQ... which is one of the determining evidential factors of physical/ body/ brain tissue addiction. There are some studies I am told; I have never seen one, read one. But I believe that it's true: quacks like a cannabis, smokes like a cannabis, must be a duck theory. Thiq is usually only measured from postmortem samples, I believe. It was accidentally discovered by a researcher on morphine and heroine addiction, down in Texas, in the 70's. It was expected to be present in opiate addicts, but scientists were surprised that it was a result of chemically dissimiliar drugs and dissimiliar processes. Thiq has been known since before the Army decided to use morphine as a much safer and less addictive pain killer. It was only in the late 70's that it became linked to drugs other than opiates. To my knowledge, it has never successfully been created outside the brain tissue of living beings, and therefore has no black market at all. How good addicts like me missed this golden opportunity for enjoyable capitalistic entrepenuership escapes me. Must be the memory loss again. All addictions have five things in common: 1. negative consequences (DWI, legal, social, health, spiritual) 2. altered brain wave activities (P300 wave) 3. dissociative states, (blackouts, trance, OBE) 4. altered neurotransmitter activities (coke and dopamine, alcohol and serotonin, marijuana and all o them) 5. the likely presence of massive amounts of thiq in the brain and nerve tissues of the user. Interestingly enough, my work with gamblers substantiates the first three, and Dr. David Cumins (a California...doc who has worked with dead cokers for years and now with dead gamblers), has substantiated the fourth. In my conversations with Cumins and others, there's a concensus that if we ever searched for thiq in the brain of the addicted gambler, we would likely find it. The point is: non addicts don't have it. Hope this clarifies. As far as caffeiene, there are no studies, as there aren't with gamblers, regarding thiq. It still stirs quite a controvery in treatment circles. One of my friends and favorite 90210 zip coded psychiatrists, Dr. Richard R. -- thereby also a Californian -- seems to agree. And Dr. Joe P. of the San Diego Naval hospital -- and thereby a Californian--...an old time addictionologist and expert...is adamant. Even Dr. Dewey J. of the Loma Linda Med School -- thereby a Californian -- another acquaintence and researcher in gamblers... promotes this theory which has become labelled as the unified theory of addictions. Just trying to be helpful. Now where is that faucet screen...

Sorry Patrick, didn't get my post in before yours. Actually, I'm not trying to yank your chain...I expect you don't give a rat's ass...and that's fine with me. I don't care one way or another if folks smoke... my work is with people who have have difficulties because of it -- or other addictions -- and want to stop the activity. And I have nothing against Californians, as you can see. You are all welcome here in the hills of Missouri after your state falls into the Pacific. If you can, smoke one for me. Raise a glass to the Gorrilla. I can't; nearly killed me the last time I did. But I haven't stopped living and having fun either.

one day i was at my doctor's office for a check-up. his office is in a little hospital the name of which changes every couple of years. anyway, i'm in the little examination room and a nurse comes in to take my vitals and stuff. i don't know how we got on the subject, but we started talking about drinking and and alcohol. she told me that the story she always tells her teenage kids to keep them from drinking is about the boy who drank a whole bottle of jack daniels and fell off a building and became crippled. i got a big smile on my face. i could tell from the details of her story that she was talking about me. that story must've been floating around the hospital and she picked up on it without knowing who it was attached to. it didn't mean i had to STOP drinking. jeez.

i guess i missed the part where having thiq in your brain is bad for you in and of itself otherwise it's just a point of interest? is there evidence against it being a positive addition to your brain?

wow. did she ever realize she was telling you a version of your own story?

i just reread the selection of headlines in that previous post of mine. god damn that was funny. WASN'T THAT FUNNY!??????

Yep, that's one way of looking at it, Droop. Is that how it happened? I don't get the relevance of the links, Patrick: GOP and $, Lymes, headless torso...yeah, there's shit happening in this world of ours. But it's a relatively interesting and beneficient place. Doesn't mean we gotta hide in the bottle or behind a cloud of smoke...and some do...some don't see the relevance of doing anything but hiding...and I'm not at all suggesting that you or anyone here does that. Not suggesting that at all; but I see it in my clients. Really, is it any of my business if a person smokes, drinks, gambles, kills or maims victims who obviously needed such a beating, maiming, or elimination, molests small animals in the privacy of his or her own barnyard? But I, like each of us, can make a determination what I will will not do, what I will stand for, not, or accept or rail against; right? God may have made a mistake when she gave us free will. One thing appears certain: if there are activities that produce negative results for me, make me feel badly, cause disruption in my relationships, takes precious money away from me that I could be contributing to political parties, and destroy the integrity of my body, mind, and soul... and I continue to do these things over and against my will to not do them... that's a problem. And I have a very distinct and personal interest in Lymes. Surprising and synchronous that you'd pick that out of the Atlanta paper. My orthopedic surgeon flatly denies that such a little animal causes such a problem. Gotta go. See you later in the day.

the only relavence is that when you read such things, such potentially catastrophic, ridiculous, selfish, mean-spirited, and just plain painful things going on in a world and you, can't do a god damn thing about it....it can be overwhelming. I drink and smoke on a daily basis to "escape". I'm not the type of person to escape to the hills and not be bothered by another soul. But at the same time the daily pressures or living in a modern society can be too much. I'm not sure humans were meant to live like this, in this extraordinary time, so extraordinary measures are taken to cope. For some people, TV is enough. For some people binging on doritos and twinkies is enough, for some, having three children is enough, for me....inebriation is it. Escapism. You should see my house. I have colored bulbs in most of the lamps. I have a nice stereo system. Blankies, pillows and two cuddly kitties. Vintage lounge furniture. The flip of a few switches and the place is a love den or a trip house. My house is like a womb recereated. Im the kind of person that has always wanted to make an impact. To act and see remarkable and notable change. Around the age of 19, 20 I realized the inherent futility of my actions and the subsequent frustration was something I could do without. But you know, I'm still a very reactionary person. I can really only read the paper once a week. Even though i glance at the news everyday, I can only read the local paper every so often. Just last week, I read the paper and managed to fire off two letters to the LA Times for some local bullshit. I can't help it. I want to shake people down. Make them realize. Im sure you've heard this crap all before from your clients and Im sure I could probably, clinically speaking, use some of the "medicine" you dole out. But you know, I don't want that. I realize you aren't judgmental and Im sensitive. its also friday eve before a 3day weekend, my boss is gone, its been a busy week and well I just want to jerk off.

i just smiled and said "that was me," heather. the nurse gave me a sheepish "sorry." i told her i never knew i had such fame. well, daniel - i did drink a bottle of jack daniels; i was specifically on a fire escape; i was, in fact, crippled. the detail that clinched it was the ironic twist that my body was found and life saved by a mortician. which is also true. i may not achieve immortality through art, progeny, or good works, but i will be a story to scare children. and that's nothing to sneeze at.

The eyes Patrick. That's how I knew she wasn't yanking my chain. I saw pure stark terror in those eyes. I've never seen anything like it since. I don't drink. Not because I don't want to. But, because it doesn't mix to well with the prescriptions I have to take for my allergies.

I've wanted to know how you lost your legs, Droopy, but I've been afraid of asking. Besides it seems like the sort of story to be told only when you've shared a few whiskeys together and the night outside is cold and black. You've probably done a lot for the chair-bound everywhere if teenagers look at them and think they ended up there 'cause they were having a wild time. Much better than crippled people being looked at as if they were boring farts.

of the people in wheelchairs that i have known, 3 were shot, one had a crane fall on him, one was in car a wreck, another in a motorcycle wreck, one fell off a building (not me), one fell from a pecan tree, one was playing football.

I knew a kid back east that was playing around with a crossbow, and aluminum darts. One of the darts ended up on top of a grocery store, sticking into an air conditioning unit. When he went to yank it out, he received a high voltage blast that pretty much blew off one of his legs. He was in a rehab unit where my Mom worked. He was a very unpleasant little shit for about a year, until he had met with enough success with his rehab that he could get around with crutches. He ended up suing the grocery store chain for ALOT of money, and later on in his life designed prosthetic legs for mountain climbers (Which he used to climb some pretty high peaks in Tibet). One of my friends lost a leg to diabetes and got around in a motorized wheelchair. His name was Paul Schnellbecher, a gay, overweight S.O.B. who wore the mantle of Queen of Alt.tasteless (Usenet). His rants were hysterical, and disturbing. He chronicled his nightmarish journey through the public healthcare system, and I highly recommend reading his stuff. Unfortunately, the diabetes caught up with him in December of 1998, and he went tastelessly back up to God. On the brighter side, enough people realized what a gem he was, and saved his posts for posterity. Here's a link to one site. You can also find his regular posts, wherein he would threaten to apply the "Holy Stump Of Correction" upon newbies to Usenet, on Google.com... Enjoy http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Disco/3645/pauless.html

I found a better link for Paul Ess's rants...Much much more complete. http://www.schwag.org/~pauless/

i believe i just found marijuana. oh, i did! i did!

For some reason, i thought these jokes would be appropriate here: If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no Feminist around to hear him, is he still wrong? --------------------------------------------------------------- --------- A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the hell are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?" "Probably the same kind of people that would name a rotweiller Jesus," the bird answered.

makes my driving into a moving freight train seem minor by comparison. it was three am, i was drunk, having been at a party and doing things i shouldnt have been, and driving the back roads over the hills, with my young wife, also very drunk. i told people i walked away. but it is a myth anyway. it didnt happen that way. i used to tell people i rolled the car into the ditch one drunken night to avoid hitting the train. i did nearly hit the train; that part is true. i didn't roll the car; didnt hit the train; didnt walk away, but after i cleaned the poop from my drawers, drove a little more carefully home. even the poop part isnt true though. in fact, droop, nothing spectacular ever happened to me when i was drunk. but when i was drunk, i made up stories so i could fit in...can you top this one? just listen to this, fellas... i was good at that. it would have made good copy for posting at sorabji. i tell my friend ... my life ... it's good copy, that's all. the truth and the illusion blur even now. nothing spectacular ever happened. i just sobered up because i couldnt go on anymore. living a lie. somedays i wonder if there's much of a difference. like you say Patrick.

way to kill a joke.

but I liked your jokes Sem!

i'm actually starting to enjoy being sober. not drinking is easy. in fact, it occurred to me today that my addiction is chocolate would be 100x harder to quit than it has been to stop drinking alcohol. i don't even think about marijuana anymore, not here in austin. in hawaii, that's one one thing. here all they get is mexican ditch weed. bleagh. i'd rather smoke a hairball, and probably get more of a buzz.

Right. Getting drunk and or high, and staying that way, and maintaining that life...way too much work for me. Sober is simple, but it may not be easy, they say. Now chocolate...have I lectured on chocolate here before??? That synergistic effect of sugar, caffeine, and cocoa processed with alkalye (to create theobromide)releases tons of norepinephrene (excitatory neurotransmitter) and a bunch of prostaglandin (massively stimulating enzyme) plus a little dopamine and other endorphins... to create havoc in the noodle. Beverage alcohol does the same for norepin and prosta. Many of my clients substitute chocolate after giving up beverage alcohol. Sweets, and breadstuffs too. As I sit here eating nonGMO real dutch chocolate "sugar free Twist" hazelnut spread from Holland, right out of the jar, me typing this... 1 tbsp has 7 gm fat... I gave up hairballs very easily.

i would think it would be better to be a stoner with a healthy heart, that a sober carboholic. though, it may be difficult to be a stoner and not a carboholic.

you belong in prison

All food produces chemical reactions. It's no secret that modern industrial diets SUCK. We're all going to die. Ehn. "If your eyes are set wide apart you should be a vegetarian, because you inherit the digestive characteristics of bovine or equine ancestry." -Dr. Linard Williams (Medical Officer to the Insurance Institure of London), 1932.

If the above post was really made by me,and that's an if,I don't know what that's all about,I quit drinking for 13 days a while ago,I lost weight,but all I wanted to do was sleep.I will admitt that I drink to escape.

Sem, I loved the jokes.

i dont see a need to start a whole damn thread so here: Operation Enduring Enron in da House!

hey, sorry kids... i don't want to make any enemies here, but many of you folks are little nuts. what's all this fear shit about smokin' dope? the european city i live in has about 15'000 people. there are seven shops selling bud to people over 18, and a tea room with over twenty flavors for adults to enjoy six days a week. personally, i buy my smoke from an 89 year old farmer lady who stills grows the same weed her grandfather smoked on the very same farm over one hundred years ago. it is 100% bio. our schools don't have drug problems. our adults generally don't have even a clue what prozac is. when i visit my sis in L.A. or my brother in N.Y. my heart bleeds for them because they cannot realize how enslaved they are. america is not as free as the legend has it. i suggest you smoke dope as much and as often as you can, life in the usa really sucks. love or leave it... i did. pepe (ok, all you bush lovers: attack!)

Im really worried now, my partner and i have been trying to concieve for 3 months and he's been smoking pot for 10 years!! a spliff a day every day! Ive tried it a few times but thought it harmless!!