anybody want to play a little game with me? it occurred to me the other day after i got off the phone with kevin that sometimes i tell little white lies. white lies that serve no real purpose, mean nothing at all, and are completely harmless. like i told him i had to go to a meeting at one of the middle school's, when really i just needed to sit here in my office and get some work done. i mean, where did that lie come from? why didn't i just say i was going to be sitting in my office getting work done? so, here's the game. or the challenge. to count how many little white lies you tell in one day of your life, from the time you wake up to the time you fall asleep. (i bet it's harder than it seems.)

Almost none. My bodies in revolt to much. To much pain and missery means not having the brain power to lie. Also, those little white lies tend to come back and get you. If you want to read something really good on lieing Read the children's book "Edwurd Fuddwupper Fibbed Big" by Berkley Breathed. It's cute and very funny.

You're on, sister. I tell white lies often.

One white lie I told today was that I was working on getting these images in line for a report whe I was actually reading these messages.

I told this guy that my folks said I had to stay in all week long cause I was grounded. The truth is that I just didnt want to deal with him cause he's a dick. I am not grounded at all I just didnt want to see his ugly ass on my door step. But you do not win people over by teling them the truth that their a big dick so I told a white lie. Oh and one time I told this dumb ass that he was smoken dope when he was really tokeing up on oregeno and making a big fool of himself acting all high and shit. Ha ha ha score one for Rev. Oswald.

I told my boss that I was done with a project so I'd look like I was ahead of schedule. I knew he'd be out of the office for 3 hours, so I could leisurely finish it while he was gone. And I lied about the dream. And I didn't admit that it was me who sent the huge-ass print job that was set to manual feed and didn't show up to feed the paper, holding up the print queue for an hour. I even said, "Damn, I hate it when people do that. Probably some moron in Marketing."

Why is it that we call it a print queue, when otherwise we call it a line? How did that bit of British english make it into computer lingo? I have told LWLs in the past to embellish stories. But that's an old tradition.

a queue is a data structure. a first in first out list. a print queue is a queue of print jobs waiting to be printed.

i wonder if people think i'm lying when i'm telling the truth afetr chasing the storage place lady for two days, it finally came time for me to move a chair out of my grandma's house. here's how it went. first my mom suggested driving the truck we borrowed onto the lawn because we'd be so much closer and, gosh darn, it's got to be frozen. oh. nononono. really, i should have known better, but i was really ok with the idea of carrying things a much shorter distance. 16 major grooves, wet cardboard and plywood and lots of dead grass later, the truck was waiting back in the driveway. we got the chair to the door of the spare room. then it stuck. then i remembered to take the card table out from behind the door for a little more room. nope. still doesn't fit. last i dismantle my stacking bookcase thing- throwing the contents everywhere- because of course, we had time issues. into the hallway at last. first we try the side door, moving furniture and spilling water everywhere [my grandmother had 1/2 gallon jugs without caps on the floor, don't ask]. we get the thing past the first door and down three steps, but it doesn't fit through the outside door. so. back through the kitchen- having to work past all the doors we'd just come through, spilling water, again- i'm sick of typing. anyway, we got it out. my grandmother did offer to find an axe and make the chair more portable.

Grandmothers tend to be wise that way. Your response, nate, did not really answer the question, only expand uon the use of queue in what rightly should be american english lingo. I mean, when people think of computer slang/ lingo/terminology, who thinks of the UK as a source?

if you check websters, the UK definition is #2 and the printer definition comes from #3. you also notice that queue comes from the french for tail, while line comes from the word for flax. a queue, the data structure, is an ordered list where you add items to the list at the head, while you remove items from the tail. if you were to remove items from the head, you would have a FILO structure known as a stack. you'll notice that stack comes from the word for stake. fantastic.

Thank you, Nate. Have you considered a career in etymology?

i faked an orgasm so that kevin would let himself come and then he could fall asleep. he was a nervous wreck at 1 a.m. the night before his interview and needed to sleep, but he won't come unless i do. maybe it sounds sweet, but it's a lot of pressure on me sometimes, when i can't, when it's too much work, like when it's one in the goddamn morning and he's panicking about a routine job interview. sunday. sunday with his therapist is when i put an end to all of this. i told a little white lie to my boss today. i left work at 3 p.m. to make it to my 3:30 p.m. hair cut appointment (btw, back in october i got all my hair chopped off, like marge did, so it was time for some upkeep). we passed each other on my way out and he asked if i was leaving for the weekend (holiday weekend) and i said no, i'd be back later. but i had no intention of coming back and didn't. and here's the thing. he wouldn't have cared if i said i was leaving for the weekend. i work long hours for fun at this job and he has told me as much that i can come and go as i please. no reason at all to tell that lie, but i did. stupid. spider: tomorrow i'm going to actually count. i'll keep track of every one.

faking an orgasm isn't a white lie. not even close.

it's a blatant lie? i know. what was i supposed to do? if i don't come, it stressed him out even more. i wanted him to be relaxed and happy for his interview.

with all that pressure i wouldn't come either. i don't have an answer. i think sex is more complex than it needs to be.

812 today, and it's only 1342...ten hours to go... oh shit, are we talking orgasms or lies?

I told no lies today.

i lied and said i ran 9 miles with a running group from RunTex, when i really ran 9 miles by myself and then went to the gym.

I told one lie today, when I was fiddling around in my jacket pocket and then I said I thought the cell phone went off, when really I had no idea why I wa fiddling around in my jacket pocket.

My husband always asks me if his hair looks o.k. and I tell him it does, but I'm thinking what hair? And what's left of it sometimes is sticking up,if it looks really bad I tell him to wear a hat though.Amee is always asking me if she looks fat,I always say no,but she's as big as a house.I've never seen anyone pack it down like she does,I've tried to tell her to lay off the butter,sour cream,quacamole,mayo,etc. or at least not to use so much of it but she just stuffs it down.

I tryed to not lie all yesterday and I was doing real good til this lady asks me what I think of her church hat and so I say it looks real nice. Well it looks like a bunch of pink plastic flowers growing out of her old gray head. It was so scarey. Like this is the worst damn hat I ever seen it is a hat that would scare small kids. And I know if I tell her the truth she would cry so I lied.

id leave a woman if she faked an orgasm. or so id like to think. Its an aboslutely horrible thing to do. Its like telling Angry Sam his writing is good when it sucks ass. Does no one any good in the end. deception is such a bad thing, especially in relationships. im not sure an inkling of deception, when it comes to romance, sex and emotions, should ever ever be mixed in. I don't believe in white lies.

White lies are insiduous little beasties that ruin your life while you're not looking.

If I recall correctly. I believe the Brits actually created the first working computer. It was for code breaking during WWII. And, was only recently declassified. Unfortunately they destroyed both of the two they originally built; sometime in the sixties.

Ophelia, I thought it was the big lies that ruin your life while you're not looking. White lies are the little niceties that help us get through the day.

"worthless." -Sir George Bidell, evaluating Charles Babbage's "analytical engine", 1842. '640k ought to be enough for anybody." -Bill Gates, 1981.

oh, and i firmly believe there is no reason to ever fake an orgasm. Either get them to get you off, get your self off, or just say, it ain't happening tonight, go to sleep.

that would be the mature thing to do.

Of course, that's easy for me to say, as I don't usually have any problem with that. Sex is too exciting for me not to cum.

Yeah, but what about her? I told no white lies today. It's funny, usually I spend most of the day lying through my teeth, but ever since this thread has started, I've been very honest.

At the moment I am nothaving sex, so actually I speak from experience.

what about her platy? id like to share some excerpts from my friend Lisa Carver about the subject matter....from her famous essay "Some of my Friends are Sensualist" published several years ago on nerve and recently revived. She's coins the terms "Sexualist" and "Sensualists" "Sexualists hate nothing more than someone who takes too long. Oh god it's so awful — they peer into your eyes and they stroke you and say, "Mmm." I read recently that 51% of Canadians surveyed said they valued their partner's satisfaction above their own. Above their own! Quit looking at me, Canadian lover! It's a lot of pressure having someone hovering up there, worrying about my orgasms. Just leave me alone — I know how to get there. I mean, don't leave me alone, but . . . " "Sensualists have sex without orgasms on purpose. They call it tantric sex. I'd call it a bad date." id actually recommend you read the whole thing. Its a hilarious and slightly true take on the matter. in short, no one is responsible for your own orgasm but you.

Its' strange that a real simple thing like orgasm gets to be some thing people argue about and write books over. It seems so easy. You get him off he gets you off every body is happy. Or worst case you gotta get your own self off while he roll over and sleeps or goes sneeking out the door.But then nothing is easy as it seems cause if it was then we would all be perfect and a world of perfect people would just fuck up the works. I think people are meant to be screw ups.

I've read it. I have it on my wall, actually, because I thought it was damn funny. I totally agree that your orgasm is your responsibility, and that people who fake it are dumb. I don't actually know why I asked that. I think I was asking myself. Or trying to prod your goat.

did you read this one? and did you notice a particularly familiar tone in the testimonial of "Klause Frankenheimer" ?? there is also a diary entry from somewhere last year when she sent Dave out on a plane to LA. He ended up crashing with us for a couple of days and she spinned it into a hilarious diary entry.

That's an interesting question she had there, hard for me to answer. I guess it might be the cost of several tanks of gas, a motel room, contraception, ice cream and having to sit through the catholic wedding of someone I had never met nor cared about.

I've sat through to many Catholic Weddings. I can't take any more. ARGH!!!! Freinds of my parents were from good Catholic families. Meaning they bred like rabbits. Five or six High Mass weddings in a year when you are not Catholic is to much. I don't ever want to go to another Catholic Wedding in my life!

I'm a catholic. I might even have a catholic wedding, who knows? I was talking to an ex-boyfriend on the phone the other night and we were joking about how old we were getting and how we were going to be dried-up single people forever. And I said "Yeah, next time someone proposes, I might have to say 'yes'". He asked me to marry him and I laughed. Then he hung up. Ouch.

I hope he wasn't serious. A proposal over the phone is a little weak if you ask me.

Right. Telegram is way sexier. "DEAREST CAT STOP WILL YOU MARRY ME STOP"

Dougie- little white lies are worse in the sense that you dont always recognize them. they get you through the day, but eventually they can catch up to you. i'm not saying i dont tell em, just that they scare me, cause they are slippery. big lies are bad too, but commonly recognized as such.

i was at a party this weekend ("Flesh and Fur") talking with a guy from kickball. he asked me if i wanted to go see Janine Garafalo next Saturday. "how much are tickets?" i asked. "i don't know," he replied. there was a short pause and then he said, "that was complete lie. i have no idea why i said that. i do know how much tickets are." and i laughed and got excited and exclaimed, "i know, isn't that weird!? i do that too. we all do it. we lie about the littlest things for no reason at all, things of no importance or consequence. i wonder why..." we talked about it briefly and both decided we basically have no ideas or speculations as to why people do that. but i thought it was interesting to have that conversation shortly after i started this thread.

things like that are okay...i dont know where to draw the line in general, its more specific to how a situaton feels. but sometimes it feels like you just dont know whats true at all. then it seems easier to just pretend the lies are true, and then reality just gets lost. whatever, i dont really have any idea what i'm talking about.

reality???

exactly my point. i think.

DEAR SEM STOP YES STOP PLEASE SEND TOP OF COKE CAN AS PROOF OF INTENTIONS STOP

I tell lies like the guy at your party, Sarah. For me, it falls under the category of playing dumb. I'll pretend I don't know something I actually do know just to spark conversation. I hate that I do that. Conversely, I'll pretend that I don't know something to avoid conversation. Them: "Say, what do you think of M. and that ugly dress she's wearing today?" Me: "Oh, I didn't see her." When, yes, I saw her that morning...I just don't want to talk about her or her dress. I lied once today.

Thats kinda different though. You don't want to be baggin on your workmates ugly dress to others. thats just plain mean.

times a little white lie is really beneficial? When your husband tells you his ex is still pretty to him.

yeah! everyone but you is ugly! you go! sheesh.

i told fourteen today at lunch. but, i am learning german, and according to my german date said that in no way will i ever be "Ich bin so vodka.".

I don't like grrls or bois or womyn or wimmin or mehn or anyone else who things that misspelling words is in any way liberating or revolutionary.

Yeah, me either. Some people. Sheesh.