| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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But i shouldn't start there.... The truth was, i had A LOT of toonies. Way too many toonies. The two dollar coin is a big one, and pretty thick too, and i had about 6 of them in my little pink coin purse, which was threatening to burst. It was 9pm, i went across the street to buy groceries so i could make burritos for dinner -- *Wispers Pathetic But Dirt Cheap Burritos* 1 can beans 1 red pepper 2 tbs salsa 1 tbs oil 2 cups rice lots of cheese 2-4 tortillas Make rice, heat beans, grate cheese. Chop pepper and add to hot oil, cook until slightly soft, simmer with salsa until rice is done. Warm tortillas in microwave for 10 seconds. Layer in tortillas: rice/peppers/beans/cheese. Roll, eat while watching new Spongebob X-Mas DVD. Drink Limeade! ----------- i got the red pepper and a bag of apples. And stood for a long time thinking about store brand cheap canned beans vs. Heinz brand canned beans. Got the cheap ones. It was $5.68 and i paid with a ten. Oh shit, MORE TOONIES! Now i'm hauling 16 dollars worth of change around and the zipper on little pink change purse is having none of it. I walk to my car....i have got to get rid of all these toonies. What can i buy that costs a mostly even number? The gas station looms ahead. Ah yes, cigarettes. $6-8 bucks. That will do nicely. As i walk up to the door a girl is walking towards it in the opposite direction. She gets in right behind me. Me: "Hi, uhm, DuMarier Light Regular please. The small pack." Guy: "Some ID please?" Me: "Sure" Guy: "Oh! I'm sorry. You look younger. This one?" Me: "No, the one beside it." **a whisper behind me, perfume, fuzzy jacket: "Can you get me a pack too, please?"** Guy: "This one?" Me: "Yeah, and actually make it two" Guy: "It's the last pack." **Voice, almost inaudible: "Large is fine"** Me: "Large is fine then." Guy: "Oh wait, there is another one" Me: "Thanks" But 2 packs is more change than i have on me, so i can't use any of the darn toonies, i have to use my bank card. I leave and the girl sticks behind me without buying anything. We go behind the station. Her: "Hi there. Thanks a lot!" I give her the smokes and she hands me a $10. Her: "Keep the change" Me: "It's only $6, here, take this" And i manage to unload only one of the cursed toonies on her. She wishes me a goodnight and walks in the same direction she was going. I never saw what she looked like, it was too dark behind the station. Only a voice and a smell. She went too fast for me to say what i wanted which was something along the lines of HOLY SHIT you're smooth! Way smoother than i was before i could buy smokes for myself. Does she do this often? What if i had said no? What if i hadn't just happened to walk in and buy smokes when she needed them? What if i wasn't so full of toonies?? And in the car i realized that i made 2 bucks on that transaction. I have got to get rid of these toonies. At a drive thru coffe window i get an iced tea with no ice. I toss my ill-gotten $2 profit into the charity box. Taking the scenic smoking route home i pass the local drive in just in time to see Lucy Liu chop off that guy's head in Kill Bill. |
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then they made a loonie (one dollar coin) called a loonie because well one side of the coin has a mallard/loon/whatnot on it. a couple years after they got rid of two dollar bills, and made a two dollar coin. instead of loons, theres a polar bear on it. its a pretty cool looking coin actually. anyways, while at first there were some who tried to call it a 'polie' or something like that, you know 'two-nie' rhymes with loonie, and eventually it just turned into toonie, because two-nie/twonie looks just plain weird. |
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