y'know, when i went to college, i didn't know what i wanted to be when i grew up. then i took a political science course, and it was ok, and i thought -- well, shit, i can decide sometime but if i tell people i want to be a lawyer then they'll leave me the fuck alone. so i did that for a year, and then i took a political theory course, and i was hooked. departmental pet, golden child, enfante terrible, that was me. and i wanted to read and write and teach that shit, and i thought that was important to the whole world. then i went to grad. school where i got to read even better shit and write ok papers and teach again (i got to be a ta as an undergrad), but somewhere along the line i became very disillusioned. so i never got my ph.d. written. i think, barring $ screwups, i get to have an m.a. in may. yippee. but now i'm back to square one with the whole directionless life thing, and i'm bored as fuck because i'm not being oppressed by my failure to write the diss any more. what to do, what to do. nate, swine, you guys make cash...how do i parlay my skill with a bonmot and complete and utter lack of fear into a lucrative job? i don't wanna be a sekkitary anymore. r.c., if i find job for which the qualification is "smart, funny, badass" i'm calling you sister and we're gonna take over the fucking world.

what the fuck is a bonmot? that question should be a pretty good indication of how much help i'm gonna be in resolving your delimma. by the way: when you folks take over the world, i want jamaica.

Swine, if R.C. agrees, you may be king of Jamaica, but you must maintain an imperial palace for the Imperiatrixes should we decide to schlep by and sip fruity rum drinks amidst beauty.

Margaret -- I think I gave Swine dibs on Jamaica. I was leaning towards taking Cuba as the seat of my homeland/& another place on the opposite side of the globe/like Thailand or the Seychelles/as a vacation retreat/colony. And Jamaica's too small for Swine to split. Wd you settle for Bermuda & Barbados? Okay, okay -- I'll throw in Haiti & the Dominican Republic too. (Or did Agatha have dibs on the D.R.?) P.S. -- I had an interview today that lasted 2 hrs! And the guy only spent 20 min. talking abt 'the job' -- the rest was a really great rap abt education & the military (he's a Citadel grad) & Kosovo & living abroad (he spent 17 yrs. in Hong Kong). [Altho' my Mom always swears it's 'unprofessional' to let the interview spill over into unrealted areas. Says it means they've already decided they don't want you for the job/so they're just shooting the breeze to kill time. But fuck it -- he had some great stories!) I can't remember the last time I had such a great conversation w/a total stranger! And the salary is better than anything I've earned since moving here. They shd be making their decision early next week. So maybe R.C. will finally have some $$ to back up all her badass! ;) And who wanted Australia? Was that gonna be Slacker's kingdom?

all i know is, ya'll gonna get exactly what i give you.

Nate, go on with your bad self. You get what and when we tell you (puh-leeze). R.C., I'm reading about the Arctic, so right now I'd like dibbses on that, and maybe just a guaranteed schlep in someone else's territory...maybe the Galapagos? I will be guided by you in, though...I do like New zeland, so that would be ok. Just, y'know, let's sit down over a bourbon when the smoke from the coup clears and settle it. We could use a Risk board.

Nate, go on with your bad self. You get what and when we tell you (puh-leeze). R.C., I'm reading about the Arctic, so right now I'd like dibbses on that, and maybe just a guaranteed schlep in someone else's territory...maybe the Galapagos? I will be guided by you in, though...I do like New zeland, so that would be ok. Just, y'know, let's sit down over a bourbon when the smoke from the coup clears and settle it. We could use a Risk board.