BlindSwine: you are a drunken demigod. b00gnsh: apparently BlindSwine: must be true. i read it on the sorabji.com b00gnsh: you're lucky you're never mentioned. BlindSwine: i think you should hook up with XXX and commit unspeakable sexual acts. b00gnsh: i can't do that. BlindSwine: too bad. BlindSwine: it would have made for good reading. b00gnsh: she wouldn't touch the likes of me anyway. BlindSwine: c'mon. she wants some nate. BlindSwine: even if she does come off as a puritanical oxpecker. b00gnsh: puritanical oxpecker? b00gnsh: shit! BlindSwine: i dunno. it just came out. b00gnsh: scary. b00gnsh: i put a search in on our defect database about 8 minutes ago. b00gnsh: still truckin'. BlindSwine: getting all those people in the same room would be scary. b00gnsh: yeah it would. BlindSwine: XXXXX is a hardcore mess. b00gnsh: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX BlindSwine: heh. yeah. BlindSwine: what were you doing? praying to the porcelain? b00gnsh: i'm not sure why my head ended up in the toilet on that one. b00gnsh: yeah b00gnsh: like i ever puke. b00gnsh: i drink WELL. BlindSwine: that kid has some funny misconceptions. b00gnsh: yeah. BlindSwine: like thinking i'd ever want to XXXX XXXXXXX with XXXX and "XXXXXXXX". b00gnsh: you should post your view of sorabji. BlindSwine: the place or the guy? b00gnsh: the place. b00gnsh: the inhabitants. b00gnsh: just go XXX XXXX XXXXX BlindSwine: i've already posted by views on sorabji.com b00gnsh: naw... i mean, set up the peoples the way you XXXX they would XXXXXX. b00gnsh: XXX XXXX the scene. BlindSwine: jesus. BlindSwine: XXXX XXX XXX XXXX horrorshow. b00gnsh: except, do it in a way that is radically askew to reality. BlindSwine: i think the reality, or at least my perceived reality, would be horrifying enough.

one who perpetuates a misconception of unkown origins is hardly as guilty as the creator, besides, we have to admit this place is part fiction? we are all characatures of somesort, you can't deny it, it fills the voids of what we would know should you and I be neighbors. So before the pack figures it out, let it be known the aloofness of swine or the mystery of nate is hardly inidicative of something better, being able to speak in doublespeak and pig(swine) latin does nothing to indicate intelligence and swine, acting larger than thou to a comment I made in disclosing our similar interests in music is hardly tre kuul, but i expect nothing more, new yorkers are typically that way....i should know, i have numerous friends there and visit regularly... in other words, the Xs weren't necessary

ScatPack: eat b00gnsh: ASS!!! b00gnsh: WOO HOO! ScatPack: ROMF ScatPack: I knew you would catch on ScatPack: your the best ScatPack: when you shit, do you require reading materials? b00gnsh: no. b00gnsh: though sometimes i bring them b00gnsh: and sometimes i wish i had. ScatPack: ya

sorry, that was my lame attempt to make swine look like an asshole (because I'm truly jealous of his demigod status.) the conversation was hacked/chopped/&rearranged... burroughs style.

I think the X's were nessesary, since I didn't understand a darn thing. I must have missed something really important. I was going to tell a story about how Swine was like this boy I know named Nima, but as I was typing it out I realized they were really nothing alike. Nima annoys me to no end, and Swine only annoys me a little bit. They're both very interesting, though, and I think I could follow both of them around all day just staring and trying to figure out what's going on in their heads.

"follow both of them around all day just staring and trying to figure out what's going on in their heads." exactly !!

Oh. You've met Nima? nevermind, I'm just being stupid. Today was the last day I'll ever see Nima, since I worked with him and this was the last day we're working together. I'm quiting this weekend. I didn't actually SAY "goodbye" since that would require that he know I had some nice thoughts about him, and his annoying me makes that impossible. I just hit him with my hat and poked him in the back with my sharp fingernails. He doesn't realize it, but I only do that to people I like.

swine: this is the skit that was funny 20 years ago. swine: i'm not feeling it. Slappy*: so you pussys aren't up for another game? Crappy*: they walk across the room is funny.. Crappy: that's about it. swine: now they would be russian mobsters as opposed to czech immigrants. Crappy: garrett morris. whatever happened to that guy? swine: i think he's dead. swine: damn. everyfuckingbody is coming out with a blairwitch trailer spoof. Slappy: ok Slappy: swine, can i ask you a question about black people Slappy: ? swine: Slappy, can i ask you a question about rednecks? Slappy: shoot swine: why do they always ask me permission to ask a question about black people? Slappy: uhh... Slappy: my question: Slappy: why do black men in particular take so damn long at the cash register? Slappy: i just need some insight swine: to piss you off. Slappy: i thought so swine: we get together at the annual conference and figure out ways to piss off whitey. Slappy: i knew it Slappy: it works Slappy: keep it up swine: this year we all took a vote and decided to take forever at cash registers. swine: next year we'll be stealing the toilet paper out of public bathroom stalls. Slappy: you fuckers! Crappy: you did that last year!! swine: the new millennium plan is to sleep with all of your wives, daughters, and mothers. swine: but we haven't voted on that one yet. Crappy: ALL MY MOTHERS?? swine: well, not your mother. swine: you have no mother, you wack-hatched motherfucker. Slappy: xxxxxx is into that swine: i'll make sure xxxxxx gets hooked up with someone nice. swine: i'll put in a special call into Headquarters Crappy: xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx! swine: HA! BITCH! *names have been changed to protect a couple of shitheads.

dialogue from spike lee's next screenplay?

more like a documentary. you wanna play yourself or should we get sean penn's chubby little brother?

You know, that would make a pretty interesting movie... I want Linda Hunt to play me in any movie. Just because.

We love you Swiiiiine, oh yes we do! We love you Swiiiiine, and we'll be true! When you're not near us, we're blue! Oh Swiiiiine we love you!

Well Darn. "Charter Member of the We Love Swine Fanclub" sorabji has earned my scorn.

i have scorned my earnings would you believe. . . yearned my cornings? anyone hear the Miles Davis sort of "special" on NPR a few weeks ago? That motorcycle commercial he was featured in was unexpected as anything. forget what kind of wheels. . . got a clue?

steve buscemi can play me. or billy bob thornton. forget those two, jackie chan will play me. if he's unavailable, portia di rossi can definitely play me.

portia di rossi can play with me anytime. i want laurence fishburne to be my character. or that guy who trained tim roth in resevoir dogs. what was that guys name? i used to dress like that in high school. i could see billy bob doing you. err, i mean your character. steve buscemi should play "Crappy".

mmm. i like the way you talk. mmhmmm.

you try to kiss me and i'm gonna knock you out.

MWA!!!

OH SHIT, is that him? I have heard that bit on Howard for a while now and never knew where that came from

Zhivago23: did you see the New Yorker thing that Steve Martin wrote on Beatty in the White House? Zhivago23: it was pretty funny BlindSwine: i haven't read The New Yorker since i was in 5th grade. BlindSwine: they say that mcdonald's is changing the face of japan. Zhivago23: yeah. they're gonna be fat asses. BlindSwine: the japanese are eating like americans and getting fatter, taller, and more pathetic. Zhivago23: and not just the sumo wrestlers Zhivago23: there's no stopping our culture Zhivago23: every country's gonna have to go through that BlindSwine: yes. assimilation. Zhivago23: just like they had to go through industrialization BlindSwine: have a burger. eat the fries. sit on the couch. welcome to the new world order. Zhivago23: well it's a dialectic BlindSwine: how so. Zhivago23: you never replace the Jihad with the McDonalds. Zhivago23: you just end up with McJihad BlindSwine: oh shit! BlindSwine: does that come in a happy meal with a toy surprise? Zhivago23: yeah just wait for the Shish Kebab Bell Zhivago23: I can hear the jingle: Make a Run for Mecca Zhivago23: they could have an Afgan instead of a Chichuaua BlindSwine: jesus. it's the end of the world. Zhivago23: only the beginning Zhivago23: sit back Zhivago23: relax Zhivago23: enjoy the show

Condour75: i shaved my head BlindSwine: welcome to the club, you bald-assed motherfucker. BlindSwine: got a web cam? lemme see. Condour75: no i don't Condour75: it was sort of an accident BlindSwine: heh. BlindSwine: you try to cut your own hair? Condour75: i had this rash Condour75: on the side of my head BlindSwine: jesus. Condour75: so i decided i wanted to see it BlindSwine: tell me you're joking. Condour75: so i started shaving it Condour75: no BlindSwine: god damn. Condour75: once you start sometihng like that Condour75: you have to finish it Condour75: i'm as bald as buddha Condour75: or kojak BlindSwine: so what's up with the scalp rot? Condour75: oh it's pretty nasty Condour75: i'm gonna go see a doctor about it tomorrow Condour75: of coures he's going to jump to the conclusion that i'm clearly insane BlindSwine: dude, how the hell did you get crotch rot on your brain? Condour75: well that's a good question there Condour75: i don't know Condour75: but I think it's the same thign that's wrong with my nose BlindSwine: what's wrong with your nose? Condour75: constant sneezing Condour75: no allergy Condour75: it's been almost a year now BlindSwine: damn. Condour75: i thikn it's a systemic fungus infection BlindSwine: new jack fungii attack. sounds fucking miserable. Condour75: god knows how I got that Condour75: i gotta be more careful on those trips to bangkok

What the helll is that?

Swine! Fuck yeah I missed that shit.