I have a really slow-ass computer...16 mb RAM, just crap features all around. So my brother, the familial computer expert, advises me to purchase a new mother-board, some RAM, a new processor (or something...I don't know...the terms make my head swim, so if I'm calling things wrong, yo, just fill in the right words). We go on eBay, the bro shows me what to get, and I get the stuff in the mail the other day. I'm looking at the motherboard, and I notice the little pluggy things (you know, where your mouse, etc. are supposed to plug in in the back of your computer) are in the wrong place. I call him up. "All right," I say, "imagine a rectangle. You have two long sides and two short sides. Well, I'm thinking that the pluggy things should be on the short side, because my computer stands up, so the back (where the current plugs are) is very narrow. However, on this thing, the plugs are on the long side of the rectangle, and they only take up half of the side. I don't think it's going to fit in my computer." "You don't know what you're talking about," says he. "It'll be cool." It is not cool. He came over tonight and realized upon looking at the motherboard that I was indeed right. It won't fit in my case. Plus, my CPU is 400 MHz, and the motherboard only supports CPUs up to 233 MHz. I'm screwed on 2 accounts. To make things worse, we took apart my computer BEFORE looking at my new stuff, so we have to spend 45 min. reassembling this godawful slow-ass mofo. Even *worse*, the extra RAM I bought won't fit into my original motherboard. $150+ down the tube. Hopefully, I'll be able to sell the stuff myself and recover some of that. Ugh. THEN, if my life weren't in small enough shards, a friend of mine tried to email me some scanned pictures that I REALLY REALLY wanted to see, but when I open the files, all I get is that freaking little box with the red X in the middle. And they're .jpg files, so I don't know why I'm not able to read them. I can read other .jpgs. I can. Really. *sob*

buy a new atx case, run that sucker at 233 mhz until you can get another m-board that will run a 400 mhz processor. it'll be all right.

Run the 400MHz processor on the 233 MHz motherboard? Won't it burst into flames or something? I wish I knew what the hell I was talking about.

Don't worry about the pictures either, they weren't really that good. Somebody put little balck squares over all the best parts.

yeah you could potentially fry it if you do run it on that board, perhaps the jumpers could be set to fool the board into thinking it's a 233 but you may end up screwing the processor, sorry your fucked rhi, computer shit can send you to the funny farm.

I forgot to mention another trauma that occurred last night -- I had to throw away my stereo. Yes, throw it away, on my brother's recommendation, of course. (I'm starting to think he is even less of a positive influence than I had imagined.) One of the prongs on the cables that connect the speakers was broken, irreperably so, so sound only came out of the left speaker. The thing would emit a weird low loud droning noise when the tape decks were used. The CD player was extremely ornery and required you to stand over the thing and open and shut the lid repeatedly before it would decide to recognize it had a CD in it. Neither of us wanted to fix it, and didn't want to spend the money to have it fixed, so we carried it outside and threw it in the dumpster. I only spent about $30 on it, but still...I didn't want to see it go. It was my stereo, you know? It shared many hours of joy with me and I mourn its loss. Anybody got a 400+ MHz motherboard with the little pluggy things on the small side of the rectangle they want to part with for cheap?

PS2 port?

Huh? Talk slowly...you're speaking to a computer idiot over here.

well it sounds like you have a newer motherboard with an older version mouse in which the type of connection changed. Your board probably has a PS2 connector where as your mouse and keyboard are old school, in which case you would need to buy a new mosue as opposed to a new board, however i just reread the thread and i see now that perhaps your your case does not match your board. However, those slots should be removeable. curious, what kind of CPU do you have? AMD, Intel Cyrix? What is the chipset (those little sqaure chips saudered on the board) brand on your board. Intel? also, you may know this but don't handle the board directly unless you have another body part or hand touching something metal to keep you grounded otherwise static can fry any component. I learned the hardway installing a sound card. Fortunately they were only $15.

you can run a 400 mhz at 233 but not the other way around. it sounds like you have an at case and an atx mainboard. you can get a decent atx midtower case for about 35 to 40 bucks if you want to shop around. otherwise, it'll run you about 50 bucks. enlight makes a pretty good case. good luck

does this look like all the rectangle thingys are in the right places? pics are at the bottom of the page.

Oh, I think so! Let me ask my brother and see if he agrees... Hold on, so you're saying I *can* use that 400 chip after all? It won't hurt the system? (I'm sorry to be so clueless about all this...I'm trying to learn.)

Waffles, my brother responds thusly to your questions: "well, dude.. your chip is an amd k6-3 400. your new motherboard can't fit da damn case, plus, your new board can only support chips up to 233 mhz. anything more than that, and the board will fry like the proverbial ass on a fish. ... p.p.s. the mouse which you have is a serial mouse. the problem lies not in the mouse, but in the location of the ps2 connector: if i put the motherboard in, the ps2s, the parallel, and the serial connectors would all be obscured by the case." Boy, oh, boy...if Friendly's suggestion is right on, I could be upgrading in no time.

depending on the maximum bus speed, you could set that chip up to run at 75x3 or maybe 83x2.5 (maybe). it shouldn't hurt your chip. i'll do a little research to make sure.

dear rhiannon, i couldn't find any evidence to support whether underclocking will damage your processor. good luck. love, friendly

i have heard of people over clocking AMD chips but never under clocking them.

well, you do what you can with what you have. i just clocked my amd 350 down to 200 and it worked fine, just slower than i like. i could live with it temporarily if i had to.

I don't think underclocking would necessarily damage anything, it just has the capability of going faster if it needs so. I in an isp server place for a while and they assembled computers too, so I learned where the gadgets go and small tidbits, so I'm only stating what I'm sure on. I would just get a new cover that would fit the motherboard, they're really cheap like $70 I think, and get a pentium 100, without the bells and whistles, maybe use your old ones if you can, and keep your monitor, sell everything else on e-bay, if your board is better, the new one you got recently, install that. Pentium 100's should be cheap as well, my mom got one for $200.

she got ripped, hard, those things sold wholesale for under $100 (just the chip) several years ago. If you are freferring to chip, board and fan, then that ain't so bad, could be worse. when my company upgraded, they got rid of their old machines which consisted of P100s, 32 meg, 850 to 1 gig drives, floppy, monitor, mouse, keybrd all for $100. then they gave the money to charity. So i took the bitch home, stacked my memory to 48, replaced my AMD 5k75, added my modem, sound card amd the better video card. Now i just need to reformat my old hard drive so I can master slave the fuckers and put all my essential on one and the other shit on another.......yep. thats what 'm gonna do alright....

I plan to sharpen my crayons. And stay in the lines.

You and me both. Now my printer doesn't work. I was having this same problem with it last week, and it turned out one of the pins in the cable hooking it to the computer was bent. So I fixed it, and it worked fine. Now I'm having the same problem AND my CD-ROM drive doesn't respond, so I'm thinking me and my brother switched the cables inside my case when we put the thing back together without a manual. Hopefully, he'll come back to visit me this weekend and can fix the problems. I haven't been to church in a few weeks. Why must God choose to punish me this way? I'd rather be blighted with boils. (Just kidding, God.)

Actually I was referring to the whole cpu, she already has a great 56k modem, good 64 soundblaster, 84 gig hard drive that came with it, I think 84, not keen on numbers, so she got all that put in and it's good. So maybe Rhi could sell some of the crap, or maybe even make an exchange of some sort in a local computer shop, or even ask if some local isp servers asemble computers, most likely they will, I don't see why not. I love the new version of Gimp, anyone here use linux? It's a lot like photoshop, but it's free. Linux is wonderful though, doesn't crash every 55 days like windows and you can kill jobs if it freezes up, in which it won't crash. I highly recommend it.

hey look everybody it's Jina!!!!!!!!

=)

Why is God punishing me like this?! I'm really not that bad. Last night, I was walking around in the dark and I knocked over my stereo (portable, in replacement for the one that I threw away). Now it doesn't even turn on. I shake it and nothing sounds loose, and nothing broke off, it just won't work. I even prayed for it last night. That didn't work. That actually made me have a mini faith crisis this morning (if God doesn't fix my stereo when I ask Him to, does that mean he doesn't protect me from trouble when I ask for his help, or bless people when I ask him to, either??? Why am I praying? THERE IS NO GOD!, etc.) I would pull out all my hair, but that would hurt too much. Why am I having all these electronic problems? I bought the stereo for about $50 a few years ago...it worked really well except that it is missing both play buttons (because, um, I broke them off a few years ago in another fit of bad luck). I'm wondering if it's worth having it fixed, or if I should just get a new one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks for all your computer advice, people. When I get more money, I'm going to get a new case and a new motherboard that accommodates my fast chip.

My walkman is broken. I don't know how it happened. First my sister lost the little thingy that keeps the batteries in, and then the "door" came loose, so I had to put tape on the thing in all kinds of places. But it still worked great, so I didn't bother to replace it. Then (years later!) I turn it on and it sounds like when your headphones aren't pushed in all the way, you know? The music sounds perfectly normal, but the voices are faraway sounding. It's very frustrating. I'm not used to walking anywhere without musical acompaniment. I guess I'll have to break and buy a new one.

Tonight, my brother is bringing his computer over and we're going to trade. His machine has 64 MB RAM....mine has 16, but he's going to use it for spare parts for another computer he's building. I'm salivating at the thought of how fast everything's going to be. I won't have to wait 45 seconds for Microsoft Word to open anymore.

Awww, yeah. Now if only I could get my sound card to work.

Got it to work. All by myself, too. Life is good again.

coincidently, "RRROOOAAARRR" is the title of an early Voivod album (they are a futuristic metal band from Canada). I leave it to those who don't believe in coincidences to figure out the connection.

Nova is awesome when you're stoned. At least, this one was. I might just have to call WGBH Boston Video. I have a wealth of dope. alan alda is talking about hands. tools. alien planets. robots. snow balls. distinctive nose and glasses. i'm loaded. i had beer and dope and munch'ems and pudding for dinner. well, i'm still having the beer. i wonder if i can find a number to describe the quantity of my writings that start this way. i'm still having the dope, too. no more munch'ems, though. eh. hm. i often have vivid waking disturbances on nights like these. all of the pictures i lack during my normal waking hours converge on my stoned, drunk, journeying towards REM mind. my eyes pop open just in time to see the bats solidify into the vamphyric demon. my ears hear the giant rats scratching inside the walls. in the ceiling, between the whir and click of brazilesque recording devices and closed circuit television cameras. my return to sleep is plagued by dreams of the greasy, tshirt-tucked-into-sweatpants wearing neighbor hunched over a tiny black and white screen maginfied by glass optics. blue light dances on his chubby, pockmarked cheeks. little pictures of me fucking my fist, chest glistening with selfsweat, neck roped with strain, head thrown back, growling through the intense concentration needed to cum twice on six beers and however much pot. fire. fire. i must tend to the fire. spectacular.

Nate. I love you.

I think I've flipped past that Alan Alda special. Was it like that series they had on PBS probably 10 years ago called "Connections" where the guy would start with an invention from say, Roman times, and trace its influence on later inventions up through the centuries? That was a pretty cool show.

naw, it was some scientific american thing. digest style. i didn't watch it. i switched over at the point to some shock tv style collection of security camera clips.

i saw that, but alan alda has a way of dumbing it down....when they were talking about the "snowball theory"...he's like...."so, so the earth was like a giant snowball, a rock with snow around it?" total goof. since we don't get cable, we always get caught up in Nova or one of the other documentaries they have on weekenights. Nova totally rocks.

I always used to like National Geographic specials on animals when I was baked off my ass. Turn the sound down so I can barely hear the narrative, throw on some music, and dig on whatever. Polar bears (which I am terrified of), sharks (which I am terrified of), Marmosets (no fear), wolverines (terrified of), various birds (no real fear).

my favorites are the wild dogs of africa (is that a band name?) amd the meercats. oh, and the baboons with their big, calloused asses. mmmmm, where's agatha?

yikes. the nova last night was about japan's secret gardens. all sorts of insect stuff. i dig that. it reminded me of "microcosm" or "microcosmos" or whatever the shrromfriendly french insect flim is. love

Have you watched crocodile hunter? I will laugh the day he gets eaten

My computer has been real slow the last few days,and it keeps shutting down.Then this blue screen comes up and it says..an exception OF has occurred at 0028:COFC5CED in VxD---.This was called from 0028:C14C7AD6 in VxD CDVSD(01)+00001736.I don't even have a clue what this means.We watched Dancing Outlaw,and Dancing Outlaw part 2,Jesco goes to Hollywood.They were shown on West Virginia PBS,they are hysterical,I laughed so hard I was crying.

J, try this: http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q197/0/04.asp

how many little colorful things do you have down next to your clock?

18 is that bad?Thanks Dougie,I'll try it.

holy shit J. hold your mouse cursor over each one, and write it down, tell us what they are.

Download much babe????

Time and date/norton anti-virus/music match jukebox/dialpad/talksender/2 aol's/msn messinger/Matrox/volume control/kick(music program)/firetalk/audio HQ/creative Disk detector/one that said disable or close,so I closed it and it went away. I guess it was only 16 things.

That really kills your ram, giving you the Blue Screen of Death, or in NT a memory dump

J. the infamous blue screen of death. All of those things are programs that are living in your ram or running in the background. The more you have, the more likely it is that they will run into one another and cause a crash. I don't know alot of those, but often, software comes with these little "pop-up programs" that don't do shit; some even send data from your computer back to the vendor. MusicMatch Jukebox, for instance, doesn't do anything just sitting there. If it's really becoming a problem, get someone who knows their stuff to sit down and walk through it with you in 30 minutes, to decide what you need running and what you don't.

So what you all are telling me is I should get rid of some of this crap,cause I can do it.

J,you been lookin for me?Sign into MSN.

do it. if you don't need it right now, you don't need it. most apps have a "run at startup" option. uncheck that.

Of course, some apps don't have such an option, and will burrow into your computer with incredible tenacity, refusing to leave. In those cases you may be able to hunt down your "startup" folder and throw the bums out bodily; and if it comes down to that, then, again, you may need someone over your shoulder to help you deal with registries, *.ini's, the whole 9 yards of what your computer looks at while windows is starting. Don't mean to talk down to you, if I seem to be. Who knows who knows what, ya know?

I don't know shit from shineola.