I was just in New York and I didn't even stalk Mark Thomas. Shame on me. My stay was quite remarkable. I've never been before. It's hard to believe, but I was in on a investment pitch meeting at JP Morgan, and it went well. I was there as an artificial intelligence expert. (I'm one year out of graduate school, for chrissakes!) My hotel was across the street from the world trade center, our new office is right on battery park, and I walked down Wall street to get to the meeting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a money worshipper, but walking that close to the center of the financial world was a bit daunting. The front lobby of JP Morgan is a fucking cathedral to cash, and just like them other cathedrals it's meant to inspire awe, to make you feel small and insignificant. The whole of Manhattan seems that way. Yet, at the same time, I felt excited, energized, at the center of "things." It was quite a trip.

I,m glad you had a good time,now tell us all the sordid things you did there.

did you jerk off? i hear there are a lot of jerk offs in ny.

LISTEN, ASSHOLE, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO, BUT I AM A RESPECTED HOLY MAN IN THE CATHOLIC COMMUNITY AND MY FLOCK DOES NOT APPRECIATE BEING SMACKED ACROSS THE FACE WITH YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FORESKIN TIRADES. YOU ARE HOMOSEXUAL AND YOU ENJOY FAT DONKEY DICK CRACKING YOUR HEMERRHOIDAL ANUS OPEN OPEN OPEN and you are SMILING because you LIKE DONKY DICK RIPPING UP YOUR ASSHOLE YOU PLAN YOUR SEMEN-SNOTTY DAYS AROUND BIG FAT UGLY PUS-DRIPPING MANDICKS UP YOUR FARTING ASSHOLE, WHY CAN YOU NOT STOP FARTING WHEN YOUR BELOVED DONKEY DICK MANBOY IS STICKING HIS DING DONG UP YOUR RAVENOUS ASSHOLE? EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS PENILE YOU SLOBBER OVER ANUS HAIRS AND PERINIUMS AND PIMPLY NIPPLES AND FECAL TICKS AND ITCHY BALLS AND SHRIVELED TESTICLES AND CRINKLY VAGINAS AND SNOTTY NOSTRILS. YOU LOVE THOSE THINGS, YOU WORK FOR THEM, YOU SPEND YOUR MORNINGS HOCKING SPIT AND LOOGIES ONTO YOUR INCONSEQUENTIAL SLIVER OF A COCK HOPING FOR AN ERECTION BUT THAT ERECTION NEVER ARRIVES BECAUSE YOU ARE A PEEHOLE WHO SPANKS YOUR LIMP COCK AROUND AND AROUND BUT YOU GET TIRED OF USING 2 HANDS BECAUSE YOUR WINKY IS TOO DAMN SMALL FOR ONE HAND SO 2 HANDS WERE OVERKILL ALL ALONG SO INSTEAD OF SPANKING YOUR COCK AND BALLS WITH 2 HANDS YOU GO PART TIME WITH ONE HAND AND YOU CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON YOUR TV WITH THE OTHER AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE COCK BECAUSE IT NEVER MEANT ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE ASSWIPE

uh, huh? i'll come back later then.

Good Lord. Such detail, too. Antigone, are you moving to NYC or were you just there for a conference or something?

wow, catholics are filthy talkers

i traced the ip address of the 11:18 am post to the vatican. a cardinal i talked to said that His Holiness just needs to blow off steam every once in a while and that he's still a swell guy.

God help us,is nothing sacred?Whoever that asshole was that said that about Antigone,needs the salami and the starving dogs.I bet it,s a moron.

i think his holiness was talking to mee.

Fuck him anyway.

hey now.... catholics are not always filthy talkers... i should know i am one.... oh wait. god damn it, i am a potty mouth.

I'm betting it was swine. Of couse, I am not a betting man.

i got that in e-mail earlier that week. and not from swine. his holiness is following me around.

Perhaps. Maybe it's the Feds trying to frighten you out of hiding.

The ip from that message is owned by an ISP in New York. What was the e-mail address of our ALL CAPPED intruder? And to answer, Nate, of course I tugged the tiny trooper. I ain't moving to NYC, I just visited to attend a one hour meeting. My company is throwing money around at the moment, but I guess that's what you do when you want to get your ass dot commed with the big boys. No sordid details to tell, really. I ate at two restaurants on Church street: one a really swank establishment called "City Hall" and another deli/buffet down the street from the world trade center. I liked both about the same. I saw a great rock/soul group in the club at the top of the world trade center. They did covers of 60's and 70's tunes. At one point they had people from the audience on stage singing. I almost did it myself. (I can carry a tune pretty well, but don't usually have the gumption to sing with feeling. That requires a serious testosterone injection or lots of alcohol...) That's about it.

What -- no hookers? No dancing on the bar at Hogs & Heifers? No stealing CD's from the Sony store? No eating food from pushcart vendors? Or getting lost on the subway? You didn't even look up Swine? Are you sure you were in NY?

yellow pages Swinder, Jon 245 American Way, 212-587-9862 Swindlerjo, Patty 678 Frost Ave 718-897-5474 Swine, Mista 364 Cranky Way "none of yr damn biz" Swiney, Jacob 576 Boston Street,

"Swiney" is a funny name.

all of you are gay gay gay gay gay

Thanks for diggin' up this gay thread, yo.