isn't it always about some boy with me? well anyway, this one is a mathmatician, logical boy who is envious that i went to new york with no plan. i am intoxicated. he is a nice polish boy who enjoys reading about math and learning new things that revolve around structure, routine and equations. am i insane to be head over heels here? but the problem for me is that i am getting and sending signals. but i am having trouble translating them. for instance, we hang out, not often and usually i pursue him for the meetings to take place. but when we hang out he tends to pay for everything despite my objections. i want tea, he buys me tea, and he seems somewhat oreturbed when he can't buy soemthing i want and i will fight him and buy it myself. yes or no? he took a picture of me with my camera and as he was doing so hesays "i still have the last picture i took of you." that makes me feel all weird. yes no? i taught him how to make a peice of origami, and when completed it was like some great mystery had been solved. as we ate raisins in his kitchen. he is such a nice boy. he bought me a copy of "The Immoralist" by andre giede, while he purchased a book by Anais Nin. <sigh> he always makes me put my money away when we are out. now the question is, am i missreading him? am i a broken scanner at the grocery store on this one? if i am not misreading, what does a girl like me do? i can't attack him, i would feel so uncouth. how are you supposed to approach these intellectual types? i think him to be so pure i can't even place him in a sexual situation in my mind like i usully do wih guys i am infatuated with. i really just want to hold his hand and give him a flower and discuss the interesting facts about the world of flora.

From a guys point of view, I'm having sort of a similar situation. Wonderful, wonderful girl; God, I get sick just seeing myself around her. Haven't smiled this much in a long time. She's just so... good, that I don't know how to approach her. I'm starting to get paranoid about it; "does she have a crush on her ex?" type of thoughts. I haven't been on the datin' scene for some time... how does this work? Nope. Didn't think this post made the slightest bit o' sense.

Next time he gives you something give him a "Thank You Kiss". Not a peck on the cheek. If he responds then he is "into you" but too shy to make the first move. If he recoils and gets weirded out, then he's just your good friend and you save face by acting like he missread the kiss. Quite frankly I thank he's into you but too shy/frightened to make his move....give him a "nudge" Good Luck

please....Bad Apple....you have been through this before, or else you wouldn't name yourself as such. come on. she does have a crush on her ex. get over yourself. Kymical, listen to FB, he's right.

i was at this party the other night and there was a drum set that people were fucking around on. The owner of the house was this pretty attractive lady. she told me that she likes to come out and play the drums in the nude, after 9am, when no one is home. It was hard for me not to laugh. i just thought that was a pretty blatant invitation. or did i misread that?

Something will be getting banged on.

as far as advances go, i think i am doing something wrong. after we hung out friday night <very casual> we made some origami, and he showed me how to solve rubic's cube. (how is that for foreplay?!) i went home buzzing. so then sunday night i called him to see what he was doing. i always feels so dumb calling him. cause i am certain i have just distracted him from some mathmatical equation that he was close to solving. and he was telling me all of the reasons he couldn't come out to play. which i understand, i really hadn't inended to keep him out or even up late. just intrigued by him. so then i feel like really bad, like i have somehow crowded him or something. i would do the kiss, but i am not very good at affection. i am scared to death to touch the boy. i think i slightly fear my own true strength. can't i just get away with a poem or something? something non-direct but effective. if he is too shy to make the first move, i am the worst person to do that with. i would read him as shy. but he can be so blunt. but then again, so can i. damn.

you could play this stupid game that this girl introduced me to. it's dumb but it does let you express how you feel about someone in an offhand way and let them do the same for you. you pretty much ask each other questions like, "If i was a desert, what kind of desert do you think i'd be, and why?" He might say-"Jello, cause i really like the way you jiggle." or maybe something not so cheesy. another- "If i was a wild animal, what would i be and why?" He might say- "you'd be a maine lobster and I sure would like to eat ya'" get the drift of this? make up whatever "If i was a ...." questions you want. work yours out beforehand so your answers pretty much obviously reflect the way you feel about him. Dig?

Give him this equation: u + me =love. God, I feel like a caveman sometimes. To make it more interesting, you could code it, like u is 21(th letter of alphabet)+ blah, blah, and see if he gets it.

Kymical, he sounds lovely. I adore shy men. One blurted out confession like "I still have your last picture" says so much more than all the smooth lines from more confident guys. I can see your reluctance about his insistence on paying, but just tell him it makes you uncomfortable. He's just trying to be sweet because he's a smitten kitten. You're definitely going to have to make the first move. Do something flirty like hand him a note with an equation like Peripheral suggested. Or just take a deep breath, and say something simple and effective like "I can't stop thinking about you when we're apart." The words don't really matter you know...you just have to tell him you have feelings for him. The strange thing is, he's probably sitting somewhere right now wondering whether you fancy him.

i am such the independent gal. well, let's hope you are all correct. and let's also hope that i aquire something in the form of guts. although i kind of enjoy this faceless affection. it is exciting and nice. i wonder if this is what will keep me from ever settling down?

Bad Apple, I need more info on your situation, but if you have a gut feeling she has a crush on her ex, then she probably does. Can't believe there's not even one "Fuck him up the ass" on this thread.

Fuck him up the ass! Happy? Don't answer that...

Kym - As the shy math guy (unless somebody else has already taken the title), I have to say that most of the suggestions are rather poor. Every guy, myself included, has a fight-club-alter-ego (except for the guys for whom this is dominant, in which case they have a shy-mathematician-alter-ego). How to bring it out? A few suggestions: (1) Chemicals. If you can get him to roll with you, that would be ideal; brings the emotions to the surface, gets rid of insecurities, etc. If not, I suggest alcohol to kill off the shyness, pot for relaxation, and caffeine, just cos any mathematician has to love caffeine. (2) Computers. These things are just awesome for people afraid of personal contact, at least on the instinctual level. Does he run ICQ or AIM? I think the main advantage with these is that (a) He knows exactly what you see, he doesn't have to worry about non-verbal communication or your interpretation of his pauses or whatnot and (b) the desire to physically run away after an anticipated rejection, or even beforehand to avoid it, is quieted by sitting in a chair in a different room. The other week some cute girl walks up to me in the street and asks "are you in a hurry?" and I was baffled and said "sorta" and kept going. I was going to friggin' barnes & noble, I spent a good portion of that evening kicking myself. Anyways. If he's really socially dysfunctional (i.e. even more so than myself), e-mail is even better cos it gives him a chance to agonize over his particular word choice for hours on end before finally sending you something he really means to say. (3) Understand the mathematician. Math is an art. There is nothing "routine" about it, and once we fully understand the "structure" of something, it's time for a new problem. You prove a theorem once, and that's it. Since there's no real way to bullshit in mathematics, we don't have the image obsession of a lot of other artists, but the creative process is still there. If you're having problems seeing math as an art, read "A Mathematician's Apology" by Hardy, which has only a tiny bit of very easy math. To further your understanding, read up on Erdos, who was pretty much the physical manifestation of all traits common to human mathematicians. And if you really want to get to know him, read some upper-level math. Most people don't continue their mathematical studies past calculus, which is totally different from how real math is done. Think classical-composer-vs.-high-school-marching-band here. And don't give him a lame equation. (4) By all means, interrupt the guy. He's probably learning math, which means he can go back to it later. If not, he's probably doing fun math, and even fun math takes the back burner when there's a girl on the line. Finally, even if he is doing serious research, he should have it all written down to pick up later--if you don't interrupt him, a telemarketer/fire siren/dog barking will. Interrupt until he blocks your calls. (5) Don't joke about sex. If he's as repressed as you let on, he'll take any joking innuendo as a sign that you think sex w/ him is so unrealistic that you'll comfortable joke about it. Silly but true, that's how he's thinking. If you follow all of these suggestions, you will have slightly reduced the chance that he will be kicking himself 5 years down the road and wondering why he never tried to kiss you.

he's got a crush on you. you could try the trick i pulled on dave: move out of your apartment. ask him to help you move, when you have moved everything but the mattress out of there, go for it. this only works if you act totally bizarre and unpredictable for about two months beforehand and give no play at all. also, make sure that you buy him a ceramic chicken on his birthday and fill his work shirt pockets with candy. god, how embarrassing.

all truly capital ideas Mathy. cause i did know a mathmatician before, he was a programmer who tried to downplay his enjoyment with math. all lot of the similar ideas he had expressed to me in the past about relationships and why i am so freakin' attracted to men with a above extraordinary intellect (yes i was also attracted to this boy.) i guess i should just be direct and purchase some feminine charms to use. i am not too sure about drinking. last time i got drunk with him we spent the time with him proving to me that the square root of -2 was something. it was soooo sexy. what is really unny is he jokes and remarks about drugs (on basketball diaries he says "fuckin' rich junkies!") yet he has never done any. (or payed attention to the film.) thank you very much. i will have to impliment these tactics. a friend of mine recently confronted me about the way i interact with the opposite sex. to quote him acurately, "kym, you have to stop playing guys like we are peices in your chess game. we are human you know." it was strange i am the girl that wants them mostly for their minds. not to say i don't enjoy a petty wrapped empty box every now and then. hey would anyone like to see this cutie?

Just go for it. I'm horrid at figuring out the timing thing--tell him you're interested. I really do firmly believe that frankness is the best approach, because at least y'all start out honest. Mathematicians can be cool. The equation idea is very cute. Almost too much. I wandered around the park today. It was lovely. But, once again, I missed the timing thing. *sigh* I wonder if I'll ever get it right.

don't mind the black girl featured here. http://www.st-chaos.net/photos/pics/tejas/kym-les.jpg Isolde, in the words of Dan Bern, "they said time is relative, or did you misread Einstein?" i am the messiah, come to think of it.

Email me his phone number. I'll call him and get this whole thing over. :o)

Perhaps you could call on his mathmatical expertese,explain that you seem to have a little mathmatical equation that you "can't work out", and explain that you seem to have a miniture abacus wedged in your tootie,and need help retrieving it, so you don't lose the important calculation you'd been working on.[Of course,if you decide to use this plan,you better start working on a "logical" reason why that tiny abacus got wedged up there.Probably best to go with something real creative,like maybe,"I hide it from my roommate, cause shes always taking it."Or "I'm taking this sensory deprevation class,and we have to learn to do things without using our regular senses,and DAMN,I was going for that extra point,and now look where my greed got me."]

Have yuo started holding his hand yet? That's clue number one to me. I bet that out of all the advice, here, that one will do the trick. Nothing is better for shy guys than that. (Speaking as a shy guy) In fact, if he is as shy as he seems, you will have to make the first move, no question. But it can be very subtle. Get him on a date (movie, show, something like that) and when you get back to the place (yours or his), give him a long, tight hug. A full body hug and bury your face in his shoulder. After about five minutes, he should catch on. it may speed things up to say things like "I really enjoy being around you" or the like. Christ, just listen to some Rollins spoken word, like smoking the filter. That's probably what it's been like for this guy. That should give a good idea of how to proceed. Great photo by the way, I really like it. You two would make a good couple, at least visually. I sincerely wish you the best of luck, Kym.

aww shucks, thanks. i don't know what is going to happen, i am scared to call him. i am always afraid he has something else going on. and i function at night he has a day time job so i figure it would be best to catch him on a weekend....or is this something i should do as soon as possible....it probably is. cause who knows there are probably already girls after him as i type. heads off, he's mine! do you think a phone call is too distant and cheesy? i am as afraid of rejection here.

I admire you, Kym. Most of the time, talking about this sort of thing makes it loom even larger in my world. It's like jumping into the pool, though: sure, the moment of shock sucks, but it's worth it, y'know? How you do it really doesn't matter. Not that I'm one to talk. I nearly had to hold my significant other down and threaten her with dead insects to get a straight about whether she was interested in me. It worked out, though. My two sense: that sort of conversation is always best in person; least chance for mis-interpretation.

Hey! I don't remember any dead insects! A rat, maybe...but no insects. It's hard to admit these things, I believe, and sometimes you just have to be bold and jump into the river anyway. Worst that can happen is that the water is too cold and you flee. Yes?

GIVE ME MY SEVERED HEAD BACK!!!!!!!!!!

you silly antichrist... heads are for kids.

i have made a step in the right direction. called him last night and made plans to hang out this sunday. but i am at a loss as to what the hell we are going to do. usually when we hang out we end up going to a book store, but on sundays they close early, in fact everything closes early, or is closed! like i want to go with him to the DMA or something. he is about the only person i really want to go with. so i don't know what i am going to do. if we go to a movie it will be not good, cause then there is no need for communication. and there aren't really any movies i want to see. is it wrong to use origami as a flirting tool? i really wish i had recorded the conversation and was able to play it back here cause i think i am doing something wrong. any good clean fun ideas for a sunday night, with little or no need for funding?

HEADS WILL ROLL IF I DONT GET MY HEAD BACK!! BY 5 TODAY, I DONT WORK ON THE WEEKENDS, ITS AGAINS MY RELIGION

satan- please fuck off and/or shut up. kymical-origami is a great flirting tool. some ideas for a sunday night: picnic in a park bike ride long walk/urban hiking go out for ice cream build a fort in your living room and play board games like mancala or yahtzee make grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ummmm.... i'll think of more...

Can I have a grilled p b & j?

dear satan, since you asked nicely, in lower case letters yes you may!

Thank you, however, I do not know how I can eat it WHIthout my Head!!!!

and what have we learned? well it went okay. but i think i am one a different level than he is about the situation. he makes me feel like life is truly and adventure, and that i am the most adventurous person he knows. does going and seeing a movie about people doing X count as doing it? apparently not with the effects i had hoped for. made we want to party again (you know like old times) and for him to get a a contact high from me. then we went to Half Price books and wandered around until 11. then he drove me home and he told me how to convert numbers into bianary. so far i have only learned one, he is not the greatest of teachers. he calls learning bianary a "game" then we sat outside my house discussing (me to him) the differences between windows and linux. strange how sometimes i have my shinny moments. but i did notice something. when we were looking for movie listings i was like "we should find a [insert alternative metropolitan free publication here]" and he says we can get one at the Big--i mean Starbucks. and then we choose not to go to the closest one because he doesn't want to run into this girl that works ther. turns out she was a bad kisser and he never called her back. for some reason i found this to be so very funny. and i laughed with him at the idea of talking to one of her co workers and saying she was a bad kisser and having it get back to her. apparently this also makes me a very mean person. but it was all very civilized. did i hold his hand during the movie? no, i am so fucking scared. but at my door i got that "hope my breath isn't kickin' just in case i get kissed" feeling. we shall see how long he can resist me. next battle, tuesday. we have to meet supposedly so he can return my daniel johnston tape. but i had no hand in arranging this meeting. we shall see who laughs last.

This is weirdly funny, in that i can just imagine the two of you in a dark thetre, both thinking the same thing: "Should I try to hold _______'s hand? " and freaking out inside.

so did you get a kiss at the door?

Sem- during the movie i wondered if i wasn't the only one who wanted tobe bold. every now and again, i would realize i was figeting and think "how is he gunna want to hold my hand if it can't be smooth and non confrontational?" Jay- i didn't get a kiss. i fucked it up really badly. i had this weird like affection mood killer that i have been told is part of my problems. i shake hands. like at moments what you could [insert hug here]. i don't know what comes over me. i stick my hand out and next thing i know i am saying "i had a wonderful time..blah blah blah." like i am concluding a bussiness meeting instead of trying to get into the boys pants.

Kym, Tragic. Tragic for him. You sound like a complete blast to hang with.

i have that same problem, kym. i always flee at the end, it's too uncomfortable for me to handle.

HI AG!

a handshake. ugggh. i feel your pain. and his. the one thing i've learned about dating and that whole first kiss thing is that as fearful as it might be it's usually the right thing to do. chance it is all i can say. that first kiss starts everything rolling and once you get past it it's like a weight has been lifted. i usually try to get the first kiss out of the way at some point in the date, well before the akwardness of the goodbye stage. i'll try and land one on her at a light point in the evening when things are going well. sort of surprise her with it. i've found girls tend to dig it. it helps to get it out of the way and help you both relax a little. and if the other person is repulsed by your kiss. well, at least you know it's not going to happen. whats that saying? don't put off till tomorrow what could easily be accomplished today, although i feel he should have stepped up and planted one on you.

Jay, I like what you had to say, I never considered that.

KYMICAL -- stop torturing yrself & just KISS HIM! Everything you need to know you can find out from that 1st kiss. On the mouth. But not a big intense teeth-&- tongue kiss. And not a peck either. *sigh* Is there a name for those kisses where you only use a little of yr tongue? Only 1st kisses feel like that. HowcanIexplainit...? Kiss him like his mouth is an exotic fruit you're tasting for the 1st time. Kiss him thoughtfully. Reverently. As if kissing him is the most sacred act you've ever performed. Don't try to swallow him hole. But y'know/kiss him so he knows he's been kissed. Then see how he reacts. If he freaks out/you'll be embarassed as hell, sure. But at least you'll know the attraction isn't mutual. If he doesn't freak out but doesn't quite know how to respond/then say something wiseass like you're Lauren Bacall & kiss him again. (I'm dating myself here/but everything I learned abt kissing I learned from watching old movies. And believe me/that stuff works!) Shy guys NEVER go for the 1st kiss. You might catch him off guard at first/which is why you need to kiss him again so he has the chance to kiss you back. And if you plant one on him that 1st time & he immediately kisses you back/well then, you're good ta go!

I like the way you think, R.C. I wish more people were like you.

Kymical- *of course* he wants to kiss you! but, R.C. is right--it looks like it's up to you..... GO FOR IT!!

Kym, Without sounding like a broken record, I must agree, you are in the driver's seat. All women are, if the guys they are dating are gentlemen. We don't want to make that kind of move first. We need a sign (sometimes neon just is not bright enough, or we aren't).

i think i just got the biggest hint. today one of the people involved with my trip to austin came up and said "we have to leave tonight." but i was supposed to see Lezjek tonight! oh what to do. so i call him up and i am like "yeah i am going to Austin tonight." and he is like, "well i guess we will be going to austin, i have to clean my room and get some money from the bank." i think he must have misheard me or something. but it is still nice. he is not one of those spontaneous people, that is my department, but i think this counts as spontaneous. and he is all "so you wanna ride down with me then?" hell yeah!

hell yeah is right! hooray for you, kymical!

Bleh. I hate kissing. I don't know why this is. Actually, I do, but I'd rather not go into it. But I'm shy, too. I end up with the "sitting in the movie theatre wondering what we should do next" feeling sometimes. What happened? It used to be so easy to communicate, and now people tell me I'm impossible to read.

stop thinkin' start smoochin' you can kcik me in the nuts if I am wrong.

So -- there ya go! Guys don't volunteer to let you kick them in the nuts unless they're SURE. Kissing while driving is tricky business/so I suggest you make yr move at the 1st gas station/ rest stop/pretty lake or bridge or rainbow you manage to stop at. Unless you're the type who loves the realllly sloooow burn & you can stand spending days in a car thisclsoe to him w/out getting in a smooch (which I simply cd not tolerate...) Plus remember the Road Trip Effect: A man's biological impulses & /or personality traits can be dramatically altered during a road trip w/him. The shy guy starts singing Tom Waits at the top of his lungs & mooning tour buses. (This happened to me.) The hipster reveals a deep knowledge of & love for Celtic folk music/Indian sitar music/flamenco guitar music/or some other musical genre you had no idea he cared abt. The brainiac spends 3 hrs. telling the most godawful corny jokes you're ever heard. All -- or none -- of which can be very endearing. Or fucking annoying as hell. By the time you get to Texas, Kym/you will either adore this guy or be ready to choke him til his eyes pop out. Make sure you bring LOTS or yr own CD's. And drugs -- plenty of drugs. And don't be surprised if he puts the moves on you after yr 1st day & nite on the road. It's amazing what getting out of the city will for a shy guy... What are you going to Austin for? Is it time for the SXSW conference again? And TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES!

Hi, I know I'm entering the discussion kind of late, and I don't really have anything illuminating to add, but I did want to wish you luck, as he is a cutie-pie! And smart too? Amazing luck! I have very little experience with such matters, but I have been on the receiving end of a hand shake (usually relieved it is so, but could have done for an innocent shoulder hug instead). Oh well. Actually, perhaps I'll tell you all this story... it's almost as embarassing as the cat paw tape story, only I hope no one will tell me to fuck off because of it! I had met a guy online when I was 24. He was 19, but pretty smart and I am not so smart so it balanced out ok. He seemed to like me a lot. I never asked if he had a girl-friend (his name is Chris, so for a while I was just assuming he was a guy) or anything like that when around Valentine's day, I guess it was, he wrote me an e-mail about visiting or something. I don't recall exactly (for other personal reasons, that whole year and the following one are a blur) what he wrote, but it was not ambiguous. I had a team of female friends analyse it and it was deemed an authentic display of interest. Eventually we did meet... under very odd circumstances... I drove to his town (I hope he's not on this list disguised as one of you out there) with my sister and brother-in-law. Everyone in my family was worried that this guy I had been writing to for 10 months was a serial killer or something like that. I couldn't convince them otherwise, and I know you're all thinking I'm a big lameass - no contest - but maybe I was not so sure I wanted to be alone with, to my knowledge, the first guy who had even a glimmer of interest in me. I guess I found his interest in me attractive, as I quite honestly, never expected this online relationship to come to anything beyond a couple of e-mails, at least, not at this point... and the novelty of someone liking *me*! I got a handshake at the beginning of the "date", such as it was. That pretty much set the tone for the whole day. At the end, I we said goodbye over another hand shake. Even my sister mentioned something like, "don't you maybe want to say goodbye again?" That struck me as strange. Didn't she just witness the most fucking platonic goodbye in the history of man? By the end of the day it was a relief, however I often wonder if things would have gone differently if I had gotten a hug instead of an austere hand shake? Maybe we'd even still be friends. The only other "date-like" outing also ended in a handshake, but again, by that time it was an unbelievable relief. I must just be weird. Anyway... good luck Kymical... At least be consoled that you're not as big a loser as me!

Handshakes are for business deals, not dates. you know if you really wanted to see what up you could always go down on him while he's driving. believe me. guys love that shit.

Just before they drive into the lamp post, right?

NO HEAD WHILE DRIVING! Not any of you, y'hear? #1. It's punishable by jailtime if the cops catch you. In every state in America. #2. It looks sexy in the movies/but in real life you're too busy drivng to enjoy yrself. And if you're not/you WILL end up crashing into something. #3. Even if she can suck the chrome off a tailpipe/there's no way you can return the favor while you're driving. Which makes you a selfish lout at best. So just pull the fuck over first -- okay?

And remember, so "drinking" and driving.

it was a fun ride. talked and laughed, made a documantry tape of the outing. he enjoyed the mixed tapes i brought, and we talked about lots of things. and then we got to austin, laughed some more. got to the house my friends just got. we sat around and made origami, i let him analyze my poetry. but there were lots of distractions in the place, (people who had never met me and peole who hadn't seen me for a month.) soon, it was 3 am. and he was falling asleep so i go thim to stay at the house. i felt weird cause part of me wanted to go to sleep with him, but i didnt think that would be too hot of an idea for some reason. the next day i woke up refreshed, ready to face the day, around 11 am. he was gone. leaving behind, his book he wanted me to read to him, hisblanket and his pillow. no note, and no one was awake when he left. so it has been over 24 hours, with no contact, and we have confirmed that he doesn't know anyone in austin that he could be visiting. so i have been worried. but we have not been able to confirm where he went. somehow i think something is awry. i hate this feeling of irony. i pass up numerous chances and then he disappears. story of my fucking life. and now i am bored in Austin, cause i wanted to hang out with him, and try to kiss him. (sigh)

This whole non-relationship seems to be what happens when two copies of me like each other. I've seen it before, and that time it also fizzled out. Oh well.

...

he came back.. turns out he went to San Antonio. visit people. but i was too worried for comfort and he left and went home. ah well, at least i am still crazy.

KISS HIM ALREADY!!!!! ARRRGH! The suspense is killing me! at least slip your arm around his waist or something, to make it easier....

Shit or get off the pot! Kiss him goddamit! Damn girl!!!!

Amen Fetid. Kiss him, exchange spit and tongues immediately. Or else I'm coming over there to do it for you. Sheeesh!

he ran away back to dallas. i had to stay i austin. i won't be back maybe until wednesday. but i am thinking i will just get it over with and do it. lay it on thick like. apologize for making him scared of me whe he finally reappeared. give him a flower and kiss him. sounds like a plan. i am a rock star...it is all just acting. they are only feelings, they can't hurt me. i am made of cornchips.

Crunch all you want -- JUST KISS HIM ALREADY! How hard is it? The very next time you see him/whether he's walking in the door or coming out of the bathroom or pulling the car into the driveway/just walk up & fuckin' KISS HIM, Kymical! Apologize later. Bestow flowers later. Just kiss the fool & see what he does. Otherwise/you'll never know how he feels abt you. my blood pressure can't take much more of this...

oh geez, i'm sorry. now it is just a matter of getting in vacinity of the boy. he is like some slippery thing covered in olive oil. hard to get a hold of. i am working on it...please take deep breaths R.C. i promise i am going for it. i am balls in! if i had said balls, as it were.

And just think, when you DO get together with him...(half the known universe rooting for you, that's gotta be good for some pretty decent karma)...you can show him this thread and he'll laugh his head off while you blush delicately...it'll be too sweetly romantic (sigh).

HMMMMMMMMMM

So...what do you mean, slippery? Is he avoiding you, or what? Explain.

are we still talking about mathmatician boy? jesus, i'd figure you'd have gotten naked with him by now.

i think i might not be agressive enough to get his attention, plus i think hanging out with me makes his brain feel funny. cause i make no sense andi will say things that aren't true (like there is such a place as California.) and he always asks me what i mean or if it is true and i tell him it is nonsense. and he looks at me funny. i don't think he likes me wasting our precious air on silly things. had the show last night. i put him on the guest list he showed up. it was the most intoxicating show i have ever seen all thanks to Lift to Experience. holy crap. these guys blew my mind. it is like the sound of passion and the way it feels to cry in music form. very good. a perfect moment to kiss him. i could have blamed it on the booze (he bought me 2 beers) i could have blamed it on the music. i could have just recruited him as my male groupie. now for those of you who would like it to all end i will tell you that i kissed him (yes this would aslo be a lie.) and for those who knew i didn't have the balls to do it. i really do kick myself today. it was perfect, we hugged, and i'll be damned if he didn't pull the "longer stronger" hug move on me. and i just thought it was the booze talkin'. then i realized i had no ride home, but he had already gone home, alone. he is a virgo and he asked me if virgos are good in bed. from my own independent study, the Virgos i know get quite a bit of action and have been known for some quality horizontal moments in the dark. can any one give more info on that. are there any virgos out there who would like to admit something?

I am a Virgo,I like sex,I'm good in bed.

Hmmmmmmmmm, I like sex too, and not too bad in bed

Virgos are damned sexy. Great in bed. Highly recommended. Then again, I'm one myself, and might have a bit of a bias.

I am sagitarius, does that just mean a strong drive, cause man do I have one

I'm a scorpio and I get laid like it was my fucking job. not really. but i've been told i'm good in bed. never had a virgo girlfriend. probably have had sex with a virgo but if i can't remember their name i sure as hell don't know what sign they were.

oh yes, scorpios are very good in bed. it is said because they are better at expressing their feelings through actions, and the part of the body that sign rules over is sex organs. well i guess we have a consensus. virgos are good in bed, and i should get this boy in bed to keep the dream alive. i think i will ask him to lunch today. and get him sloppy.

oh and as far as Sagitarius, they are one of the few co-operative fire signs. with Leo and Aries they are very much about getting things done, and busting through obsticles alone. Sags are more about like being part of a super team and helping pull things together internally, which does take a lot of drive, yes. me, i don't have a lot of drive, unless there is something i want. i am an aries. i will burst through the wall to get in cause it is a challenge, but i won't really remember or possibly not even have a reason for doing so. not always the best thing.

What about capricorns?

And Geminis!

Kymical, people get paid big bucks for that

Or Rats or Dragons or Pigs? Whatever.

Or snakes or lions or jackasses

I dunno, Jay. The scorpios that I've been with have all been either GREAT or reallytruly ungreat. there seems to be no middle ground with them (in bed or otherwise). I'm an aquarius, which doesn't really say squat about my bedroom. That's okay, 'cause I sleep on the couch, anyhow. Never been with a virgo, but if you send me one, I'll give you a full and detailed report. *looks across town in the direction of Isolde* erm. /WE/ will give you a full and detailed report, that is. What does Kymical the Astrologer think about Cancers? They're my favorite. Anyhow, I'll be crossing my fingers, lighting the candles and sending irresistible sex vibes at Kym and the Mathematician. *begins to meditate*

gemeni- highly flirtatious. playful in bed, and often time a skilled lover, or a clumbsy one, but eager to learn. capricorns- don't know a damn thing about them as far sex goes. but otherwise, they are somewhat independent, they tend to think things over one of the less spontaneous signs. tho they are one of those people that get depended on often. cancers.....aries and cancers are bad. or at least for me. every cancer i have met, or been friends with or even had sex with has been bad news. in general cancers are considered homebodies, they like to do stuff around their habitat, or they just might be "fixer upper" people. usually cancers have this thing for prying or trying to get involved in one of the aries many "me against the world" exploits. no good. but i have known people who get along fine with cancers. i believe it is virgos who have no problem with them. and of course Libras. but libras can pretty much get along with anybody. only slept with one cancer. and i have to admit the first time i slept with him, my god! i thought i was going like Mach 3 and my skin was peeling back. but this was also the guy that said he would date me if i were better looking, etc. so you can see how i woulld feel about that. but usually i don't get along with cancers. my father is one, and we don't have good communication at all. the mathman is not at home. i will probably be going back to austin for business today. but i am considering against it. who knows how it is going to work out. i want to take him out, but i think i need a car to go and get him.

Somebody told me last night that I'm the best lover they've ever had. I'm a Virgo. I guess Virgos are real crowd-pleasers, at least beneath the sheets. But many people seem to think that they're one of the most difficult signs to get along with, because of being nitpicky and all that. That's one of the stereotypes of the sign. I'm still waiting to meet a picky, whining, bitchy neatfreak of a Virgo. I seem to end up with Aquarians, for some reason. They're hard to figure out but tend to be kind of quirky and cool. At least that's been my experience.

Wait...you didn't say what was wrong with Aires! And how do you know all that stuff about the sexuality of some signs, but not capricorns? Huh?

Hrm. I guess I'll have to kick anti's ass when he gets home. the only Virgo I was interested in rejected me so complely and fully that I'm tempted to think he must be good in bed, because I always miss the fun stuff. Actually, I think that it doesn't make any difference what someone's astrological sign is. I think that people perform in bed however they perform, and that astrology ain't got a whole lot to do with it. for what it's worth, I have no idea of how I am in bed, since no one tells me. I'm probably just to shy to ask. If complimented, I have to go stick my head in the sand, and if insulted, the resulting rage is such that most people don't bother to insult me in the first place. Maybe I should find some nice middle ground somewhere with the rest of the Scorpios, eh? And yes, Kym, you'll have to give us a report. And don't you _dare_ send anti some little virgo girl. It'll be too much for us to resist.

Why don't you just call up the psychic network while you'er at it?

what is wrong with Aries?! absolutedly nothing. but i will give you the un-biased lowdown instead. as far as sex is concerned, Aries are like the ones who enjoy sex. passion is the way of the fire sign, and Aries is first born, chocked full with fury. while some feel the passion more in other aspects of their life. sex is like a fine dining experience for the Aries, who is not willing to settle for repetitive, predictable sex. on the downside, aries can be somewhat selfish in bed, as they are in life. but on the adverse they can see anothers pleasure as a challenge and proceed to conquer. lucky is the lover who finds that Aries. but being the first born is not always good. bad traits of aries are similar to those of the first born child. loving the spotlight, enjoying recognition, liking the pioneer role. add to that, being stubborn and always in a hurry. and one trait that always gets in aries in trouble is they will react quicker than they think out the consequesnces. Aries rules the head, many people who are Aries often have had quite a few head injuries, or often times bump into things, we are quite accident prone. it is said it is because we are always approaching things head first, and hoping our body will follow. also Ariens are either prone to headaches like clockwork, or they rarely experience them. depending on the stages of and Arien life, they man be headache free for a year or two, and then start having them reguarly. (i can definately attest to being accident prone!) if you are an Aries and you are wondering "what sign is my perfect match?" look for Leo. but you probably won't have to look to far. it is like instant attraction, and it will feel so very perfect, because astrologically speakin git is the most perfect match in the zodiac. aries in love is very affectionate, and leo is quite loyal. keeping aries on his toes, because Leo is also usually quite magnetic to many. but there is always loyalty. which for aries, there is that pride in their aquaintences. it is a wonderful balance. so if you are aires, you may have already met a leo in your life. usually, there is something about them, and you want to challenge them. Leo is always up for a sparring match. hmmm, okay, okay..... i should stop this.

i understand now. i meant that aries and cancers don't mix. my bad. and the reason i don't know anything about capricorns is because i have never had a crush on a capricorn boy. i remember reading somewhat that they are sticks in the mud. but that could be false. i will look high and low for more information.

for the stunning conclusion of "this depressingly cruddy love life." see other thread.. something about injecting ones self into another thread and starting their own. i wish i knew how to link this damn thing. but i think you all should so a little searching of your own.

Kym, Scoprio + Virgo = a great match. Esp.in bed. I'm a Scorpio. 2 of the 3 best lovers I've ever had were Virgos. The other was a Pisces but fish people are generally a pain in the ass outside of the sack/too into the passive-agressive b.s./& generally to be avoided... No offense to anyone present.) But make sure neither of you gets too drunk that 1st time. He cd have problems getting or keeping it up if he's blotto. And you, Miss thang, will DEFINITELY take yrself thru all kinds of changes the next day if you're shitfaced the 1st time you bed him. Drunken sex shd be reserved for partners you know well/trust implicitly/& have zero performance-anxiety about. I say do a couple of lines w/him beforehand if you must indulge in pre-coital altered states. Things really do go better w/coke!

I liked this boy in high school for the longest time who was a Virgo. It turned out badly. And now I'm bitter, thinking about how we would have been dynamite in bed. Dammnit.

R.C.,where have you been?J looks up to that one.

I never did get an analysis of aquarians from you, Ms. Kymical... my favorite lovers have been cancers, but I'm told that we're not supposed to mix?

God,please make me stop posting when I'm drunk,I had a wierd day yesterday and I don't remember being here last night.My s/o is a cancer and he is the only person who could put up with me for any lenghth of time.I am an earth sign,he is a water sign,so we are not supposed to be compatible,like we would be mud,but it works for me.

i merely give a little info on the sun sign, which is quite general. for some it is right on the money (like myself) and for others it is partly right, mostly wrong. there is ofcourse the factor of your moon sign, and what cycle you were born in, etc. and also many other factors. think of this as my disclaimer. i have nothing to report on aquarius. i have never had the pleasure of one. but i could say that of most of the zodiac. i am still waiting (anxiously) to bed a leo. that is all i want. a nice loyal leo, with big broad shoulders, a pair of clippers and enjoys wearing plaid. i am a material girl in a material world.

hrm. anybody know of a place online I can get a chart done? pref. free, since I'm a cheap and broke, both?

Here lo..www.astrology-online.com www.spiritweb.org/spirit/astrology.html

"'Yes,' I agree, 'walls are exactly what I have.'"

Bah on astrology. Bah on charts. And bah on leos.

Hey J! I've been offline for most of the summer becuz I was out trying to have a life/which I eventually realized was fruitless & very expensive. Plus my 'puter still hasn't recovered from the Death Touch of the gorgeous young-un & soon-to-be-web-entrepreneur who offered to fix it for me. (The only thing wrong was that Content Advisor glitch/Kymical's instructions corrected pronto. But the sweet young thing offered me a an extra hardrive to make my shit run faster/lots of upgrades on my software/blah, blah, blah... By the time he finished fucking w/it it wdn't even boot. *sigh* I've still got a slight crush on him/mostly due to seeing him every day @ work (he sits right across from me.) He did suddenly have an attack on conscience last week when he casually mentioned that he'd finally read my email (from 2 mos. ago/after he wrecked my computer!) & it was ridiculous what the shop quoted me to fix it & he had an extra 10 gig drive laying around/etc. So the Hungarian prince has my tower @ his hse. Hence I can only get online @ the parental unit's hse. Once you pass 35/young boyz are always more trouble than they're worth... But it was cool being all crushed up over someone again.

Lol!! I know,RC,I have missed you.

Hope that strappin' young lad fixes you up soon, R. C. Miss you around here.

finally i find out if that fix worked. i am glad it did, er aside from all the other things that happened.

Quit avoiding the subject & SPILL IT, KYMICAL! Didja or didja not lock lips at last? (God but I wd KILL for the chance to kiss the Hungarian prince -- just once. His tongue is pierced -- I've never kissed anyone w/a hunk of stainless steel sticking out of their tongue. I actually find it kind of icky but very also intriguing. Not to mention that gorgeous bottom lip of his.... You don't see lips like that on a Whiteboy too often. But alas/you can't go around kissing guys who've already dissed you...) And thank you Sem. I've missed you too Anyway/I'm off to search for a life ins. policy I can buy online w/out having to hassle w/agents. Then I gotta pick up some Thai food for dinner & some videos before it starts raining again. Luckily hurricane Debby blew herself out to sea/ but we are getting some t-storms this evening. Bon weekend, all!

no, kissing boys is silly.

Oh, stop it, Kym, or they'll all start talking that way.

It's true, Kym. Kissing boys _is_ silly. Move right through to kissing girls.

considering the number of offers i have gotten, i don't know why i am beating my head against a wall with this whole heterosexual crap. it is really just maddening. but i don't know if i can kiss girls, cause i don't like them. i want to bite them. my friend dave always says "boys kissing boys, why that would be silly." and then he kisses my friend pablo on the cheek. it is the cutest thing. little dorky boys being playful for my eyes only. ah yes. did you know that i am funny? some girl said i made her laugh for like 3 hours straight. i don't know if i believe all of that. i think i should go after him to save/prove my sexuality. or maybe just have some fruit salad.

Kym, you're not funny, but hilarious. I honestly can't tell why you have such a problem with the guys, and also have to wonder if we aren't pyschic twins, becuase everything you say is reminiscent of my own experiences.

you know sem, i can't figure it out either. i think it is because i tend to go after the ones who aren't as witty as me. and a lotof the funny things i say, just disolve before their eyes. a lot of times they don't get my jokes, which is a big part of my "mating dance." well, that and drinking them under the table to better seduce them. but it only happened like a couple times! i swear! sometimes in wartime i have to become a sex hungry tigress. but you have to understand what it is like out there, it is madness. that was the only sanity i knew!! we can say we are twins! can, we, can we? i am an only child so of course i am fascinated by the idea of siblings. but we will have been seperated at conception. (you know, explains a lot more if people don't understand.) while we are indeed twins, we still talk to eachother like we are not. you know like we just met here and don'tknow each other aside from our posts, etc. now is that a killer movie or what?!

the boy wants to get into my super cool show for free. with our favorite band "lift to Experience". my musical endevor is opening again. but today we are stonger, better and full of chaos. so i have decided i will tell him in a flyer. "*any guy who's name begins with an L gets a kiss from the kymical addiction." this show is being promoted as the night to end all nights. Lift to Experience, Explosions in the Sky and Chaos and the Addiction. but now i am in the one place i think i swore i would never be, texas state capitol (i hate saying the word) but we are getting a very nice unbiased audience, you know not my friends and such. and we are finally putting out someone else's c.d. go look http://www.st-chaos.net might be my last metroplex show, and possibly the last time i will ever see the boy, he is working and going to school and i am following some sort of creative vision. ah, to be young, dumb and full of it.

I thought you were going to say he wanted into your super cool pants. That would have been excellent. Anyway. Following a creative vision can be loads of fun...sometimes. It's how I ended up in Vermont. I wish you luck.

Kymical: did you guys play in Philly a few months ago? The band(s) sound REALLY familiar, like I saw them on a flier there? fuck. maybe not. I'm trying to remember where I saw these names. Some mailing list or bulletin board. nevermind. Do you know Miriam Greenberg?

we have yet to play philly or even the east coast for that matter. that is speaking for chaos and the addiction. as for Lift to Experience, they might have played out there, they were on some european tour so i don't see why they couldn't have played philly. they are on Bella Records i think. Explosions in the sky, i honestly know nothing about this band, so i can't give any info there. i personally don't know Miriam Greenberg, but i am also the least informed and least networked member of this endevor. you can go to the site and see, http://www.st-chaos.net

You should come play the East Coast, kym. It must happen.

you should be our liason. you should try and get us a show and accomodations out there and we will try and make that happen. i am the biggest fan of the east coast. i think all of us are about the east coast. get us a show, and we could come to your town usa. not just east coast, but europe, anywhere. except kansas.

I'll do my best. Would you be into doing a gig in exchange for food and housing?

Yum. we just had a band called "Fulcrum Point" here, along with another band, whom I missed completely, and didn't even catch their name. but Fulcrum was pretty cool. Was that a Bass Cello I saw? oh my. It was a benefit to pay the legal bills of our most esteemed anarchist-next-door. I may have anarchists on my floor tonight, if he runs out of room to house all his visiting friends. Things went swimmingly, with speeches and music and coffee and brownies and group discussion on everything from the pros and cons of violent revolution to how to keep seeds fertile from one generation to the next and avoid unwanted cross-pollination, so that we can all grow our own food. For a few hours, I could really feel the revolution starting. It was glorious.

we could do that. just keep in mind tho we are just some people. we are usually an 8 peice these days. so we will be driving our own cars. assuming they will make it. so we might work it in along an east coast path. the more shows we get out there, the better the chances and benifits of us playing. we like to have at least 5 shows. acommodations and food would be fab. just no meat. whole band (except for the pot smoking drummer and the over intelectual viola player) is vegiterian or more severe. weusually just try to save up the money to do it, and then go out for a week or two.

Sweet. I think venues here could be found. No meat is excellent. Vermont is a hard place for vegans, though, beware. Most resturants don't know what you're asking for if you ask for vegan food. Argh. Oh well. Lunch must needs be had.

anywhere in the US except kansas? surely you have not yet been in Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Nebraska, or Ohio. don't get me wrong, kansas is awful, but MY GOD woman Kansas over Texas anyday. kansas has the biggest ball of twine in the world, what does texas have? dead armadillos. and it is a fucking BIG state, so there are a LOT of dead armadillos. damn texas.

"By Kymical on Friday, November 3, 2000 - 08:32 am: but now i am in the one place i think i swore i would never be, texas state capitol (i hate saying the word) but we are getting a very nice unbiased audience, you know not my friends and such. "

we are a texas band. i admit it. the other lead guy is a big pro texas guy. needless to say he loves this state. me, i could take it or leave it. we tried to go through kansas once, they appear to have some sort of "hell-warp" that is all i can say tho. in fear of reprocussions. thanks fo the tip about vermont, luckily we decided to blow that place up. or at least our viola player has something against it. me personally there aren't many places i won't go.

You won't go to Vermont? Whatever. Jesus. Well, there are lots of other gigs on the east coast. I just won't go searching for them, since people disregard my noble offer of vermont...

we will play your town, usa. the hierarchy of this musical indevor, 1. if there is a show we must go play it. 10. if sean doesn't like the place he won't go. 27. kym can't have sex with any members of the band. i think you get the picture. just hold what you got. if we can plan a course of action (cause we are usually not a very tour orginized group) we might end up there before we (supposedly head to germany. who knows. my best friend in the whole world lived in vermont (went to school at Landmark) tho she didn't give it rave reviews, i think she had fun there. so we would be honored to play a show if you can get us one, and we would never turn down free room and board. we love kindness.

I want pictures of nudest

Thanks for sharing, Red.

I think that a good i deal Red.

so did you kiss the math guy in the end ?

ugh, this whole thing is so friggin gay....you guys have spent pages and pages of web space talking about some girl who doesnt have the balls to kiss some guy (kiss, for fuck's sake!) and he, likewise..grow the fuck up...jesus

abe-o, what motivated you to post that? if these pages and pages of web space are friggin gay, wouldn't that make you the frosting on the friggin gay cupcake, cupcake?

I think it makes him the cherry on top.