| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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i was sitting here at the computer, posting something elsewhere on the net. i suddenly felt a very strong sensation of being stared at. it was excruciating. somebody was looking at me. i'm here alone. i turned around, and standing behind me was a white man with dark hair. very pale skin. unnaturally pale. he wore dark glasses and black slacks. he had a white shirt & a bizarre peach-colored jacket. he had sideburns. i looked right at him. i freaked, because i realized that somebody had gotten into my completely locked apartment. & then he disappeared. i'm not making this up. he began disintegrating from the feet up. his feet disappeared & his legs turned into two sharp points. then the rest of him turned into mist & just vanished. he was holding some sort of white ball in his hand. anyway, i don't even especially care who believes me or not. i just needed to post this someplace. i'm back online because i'm wigged out & need to do something to keep my mind off of what just happened. this is the second time we've had an apparition in this apartment. when this guy appeared, my pet mouse started jumping up & down insanely as if he were being electrically shocked. a little while after the man disappeared, a squealing noise started coming from my kitchen, followed by a small banging sound. that quickly disappeared, too. |
really, i don't see disappearing men every day. it was seriously weird. i got a full view of the guy & he disappeared right in front of my eyes. i got a really hot adrenaline rush when i saw him & i was shaky for quite a while afterward. |
You gonna survive w/o a heart attack? |
how did it feel? was it attacking you, or just watching? |
heh. hand me the lighter fluid, kid. Let's tell ghost stories. *grin* |
i think you're trippin'. i've tripped some incredible stuff. trees chasing me: i mean these fucking trees were chasing me! it was great. of course, it never happened. or the time the creeping patterns became 3D and were ramming into me like a 3 foot high creeping hedge maze trying to knock me down. but i stayed up, dammit. that was also a blast. i could feel it on my legs, real tactile shit. or the big guy/small guy mushroom trip where i lost several hours having this perception that i was at one point huge, and then very small. over and over. i remember lumbering around, barely fitting in the room. i couldn't fit in the kitchen. then, i was tiny and very fast. i swear it was only about 15 or 20 minutes but the clock didn't lie. what was i doing all that time? nobody could tell me but they were all there. trippin. serotonin. |
Crimson, darlin I have no explination as to what you saw, or heard for that matter. I belive that if I saw that it would scare the living shit out of me, but then again me and dead people don't get along to well. You know me being alive and them being dead just kinda raises a barrier between us... In anycase get a cheap camera take a picture next time... Or get a tape recorder and tape the appartment while you sleep... Could find out some freaky shit... If I were you, I'd call Dan Akroyd, and Bill Murray. |
That's the funniest thing I've heard all week. Damn. I'm sorry you were so traumatized, though. That's no good. Maybe you should try and ask what's up next time you have some...less than expected vistors? |
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i was frighteningly, disgustingly sober. funny you should mention the sage. i had a native american friend stay here for a while, a friend who kept insisting that the energy of the place was fucked up & evil. i came home one night to find this friend going through my apartment w/ a smudge stick. some sage that had been harvested off the rez was burning in every room. my apartment was totally choked in sage smoke. after that, things did seem to calm down a bit. the other apparition that was seen here was seen years ago. it was a woman. she was sitting on a bed. she was only there briefly. she was sitting there plain as day. she was dressed in '60s type clothing, not hippie gear, but more 60s casual, like pedal-pushers. she had a bit of a bouffant hairdo. she said nothing, but just sat there. there was no sense of a threat. i waved hello to her. actually, there was no sense of a threat w/ last night's guy, either. i was terribly startled, though, to find him behind me. he was standing near my PA system & guitars, not far behind me. when i saw him i nearly broke the chair getting up out of it, because i thought i'd been broken in on. i didn't have any kind of weapon nearby & was afraid i'd need one. there have recently been murders here by people breaking into apartments. but then the man started to disappear & a whole new kind of fear sank into me. he looked straight ahead, though, & didn't seem to be implying a direct threat to me personally. i don't know why he was holding a white ball. a milky white ball, as if it were made of smooth polished moonstone. he cradled it in one palm. |
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I'm interested in the sound from the kitchen. |
I bought new pants today, I love love love love them. |
could it be residiuals? |
i don't have any new pants. but i have a new bracelet. my husband bought it for me in the middle of the night. it's silver w/ shiny red jewels. it also has glittering blue & bronze tones. one of those pieces of jewelry that's visible from approximately 5 miles away. tres groovy. the white ball kind of flipped me out for some reason. & the color of the man's coat was very odd. the main sound from the kitchen was a weird squealing noise. i was cooking at the time & it sounded like something in the pan was crying out in pain. believe me when i say that i wasn't cooking anything that was alive at the time. then there was a banging sound & it was over. after it happened, i talked w/ pug on the phone. he stayed on the line w/ me until his taxi came (he works the graveyard shift). he came over this morning to make sure i was OK. pilate came by, too. they're sweethearts, they really are. not that it has jack shit to do w/ anything, but i finally got around to adding some new links to my goofy site: http://cherrycanyon.com/members/absinthe/cringe.html note that it's hosted on a porn site w/ ads the size of toronto, for those of you who'd rather not access such nastiness. |
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I might have guessed. My new pants are grey with pinstripes, they are asspants, I love them. I will wear them tommorrow, I think. They are very comfy, and for once I don't have to roll up the bottom buff six inches. And they're wool, and oh so soft, and...yum. I adore them. So do other people, apparently. |
cherry canyon. yeah. it's a fantastically easy site to edit on, which is a plus for me. truth is, i didn't want to end up on a porn site but i had to move my links pages off tripod for several compelling reasons. the main reason involved a bunch of whiners who were trying to get me censored off the net. the second problem involves tripod's "improved" editing program, which crashes my computer every time i access it. the tripod site's still up, but hasn't been updated in ages, because i can't even access it. |
Do you think you'll organize them all at some point? They are very righteous trousers, I feel like someone special in them. |
i've got some more to add. don't know if i'll get to it tonight, though. the links are just part of an ongoing hobby for me. i've always been obsessed w/ kook-hunting. i like finding the odd shit online. before i got online, i used to collect fringe writings & that sort of thing. i've got some really strange stuff, most of it religious. i just love knowing that the weirdos are out there. it gives me hope. |
i used to go camping with my parents and sister to this town called bay center, on a peninsula on willippa bay, washington. the second year we camped there, my sister and i went to the cemetary. i found a grave of a little girl, ten years old, who died on her birthday. my birthday. gave me the heebie-jeebies. be careful, and don't invite strangers in. |
i think that cemetery vandalism is the lowest of the low. i've had several people tell me that there are "demons" in the cemetery i live by. some locals have seen strange humanoid figures popping out from behind trees. i've been told this by multiple people, in conversations years apart, who had no contact w/ each other. i've spent a lot of time in that cemetery & haven't seen anything like that. it's a peaceful cemetery, but i do get a weird feeling about this one area where a group of catholic monks are buried. there's something strange about that part of the cemetery, but i can't put my finger on it. |
I wonder why the cemetary would be disturbed around Catholic monks? Were they sinful monks? |
Although I had that feeling while walking through it on a nice fall day, everytime I drive by it at night, no matter what the season or what the day is like I get this strange "I'm not alone and I have to crap my pants now." feeling. I could use some new pants, I'm running frightfully low on clothes at all, I think thats what I want for christmas clothes... |
What the hell is wrong with me... Damn I think this means I might be growing up, I wanted to be a 6 year-old my entire life... Fuck. |
I ran away once too, but it was in the woods, so it's not really applicable to this discussion. I remember we used to go out and drink in the cemetary, there was the section for pauper's graves, and we would sit and drink and talk to the graves. It was very nice, actually, which really surprised me--I would have expected wrath. I liked those graves, there were about 10 of them and they were all scruffy and sad, and sometimes I would put flowers on them, because no one else did. I felt sorry for them, all alone. |
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um, crimson? did you ever see Amityville Horror? i know it was just a movie. but it seems that your apartment already has tenants. not that i think your life is in any danger, but my point is, if i were you, i'd GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT APARTMENT PRONTO. |
as for exorcisms, they're dangerous. most of these people have no clue who you are or why they're here. just make it easier for them, 'k? |
madras, mapleton, medford, merlin, milton-freewater, milwaukie, molalla, monmouth, monroe, murphy, myrtle point? huh? |
my few experiences w/ a ouija board were rather surreal. had a pretty twisted experience w/ one when i was about 15 or so. i was visiting an orphanage where some friends lived & had some unusual experiences during a ouija session there. the stereo suddenly turned itself on & a very strong, cold wind suddenly blasted through a window on a calm, warm evening that had nearly no breeze before. it blew out our only source of light, a candle. i've posted on this site before about this one place i lived where things were infinitely worse than my present apartment. it was a large house divided into apartments & truly weird shit happened throughout the house. as if the supernatural shit weren't enough at that place, real-life events were getting equally bizarre. a serial rapist was going around the area raping girls & in a couple of cases, murdering them & sawing off their arms. body parts were being found in dumpsters. almost all of these cases were not reported by the newspapers because the local colleges thought it would alarm parents. almost all of these events went unreported, especially the rapes (including a really twisted one that happened right in my own dorm room just before i moved in...the girl who lived there was raped. the 3 guys who did it decided to come back for more after i'd moved in, but i was able to escape & get hold of the cops). also, at the apartment (which i'd moved into to get out of that dorm room), this guy started stalking me & painted my name on my door in some dripping, blood-like substance. he could often be seen standing under my window in the middle of the night, just standing there in the yard, looking up at my window. i'd push back the drapes at 2:00 AM, & there he'd be. another guy, a blind date, trapped me in my apartment all night & begin raving nonstop about wanting to make a snuff film. he kept going on about how he'd get me off sexually like no other man had...& insinuated that if i didn't let him, the snuff film would be the next stop--he'd kidnap me & take me to mexico for a little torture & murder session. meanwhile, on the psychic front, i watched dishes break themselves, watched shapes crawling underneath my bedsheets, & heard endless 24/7 stomping in my walk-in closet. very few people would come visit me because folks were afraid of being in that apartment. it was notorious. even harcore skeptics like pilate & my husband became believers in supernatural phenomena after being in that apartment. my husband watched the figures twisting & crawling in my bedsheets & he still talks about how creepy that was. pilate was there when a plate flew w/ unbelievable force into the kitchen wall & shattered. no place i've lived since then, including this one, has been that screwed up. |
Crimson, your story gave me the creeps. I belive that once I was possesed by a spirit that almost killed me, as I went into a rage and find my self walking off a pier and into the freezing waters of Lake Superior, thank goodness I knew how to swim. That was from a Ouija borad, and I don't fuck with those any more. |
i also MUST admit the desire to "say you are full of shit"....i've refrained for along time because i didn't want to offend you, and I certainly have no proof you are full of shit or not. Most likely you arent, but I least wanted to say it. whether or not your story, or ANY of your stories for that matter, are true, i still like reading them. i lived next to an Old, old cemetary in Raleigh. Confederate soldiers are buried there its so old. Creepy shit definitely went on there. Moreover it was the first place Nico took me to make out..... |
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I WANT to see an apparition...i really do, Im fascinated by it all. My favorite ghost story has to be the Bell Witch. If ou have nevcer read that story, do so....it can be found easily..the site i think is bellwitch.org or something like that. Fucking creepy. |
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Crimson, you suddenly have this magic way of making me look over my shoulder while I'm typing... I just woke up, I come in I read that, and now I'm all fucking freaked out... Damn, and it was shaping up to be a nice hangover ridden morning, fuck I hate graveyard shifts... (yes I do work graveyards, but that was a pun.) Crimson, have you ever considered a vacation.... possibly to some nice european country... Maybe say, oh I don't know, The Vatican? |
Really, it WAS a haunted amusement park, there was a nasty electrocution there in the 20's, there is nothing left on the surface now... I have seen the amazing Paulding Light of Paulding, Michigan. An unexplained "ghost" light like a will o' the wisp that can be seen about every night along an old railroad grade in the UP. |
i'm complimented by the couple of people who've suggested they'd like to hang out w/ me. pilate & i were laughing the other day about the fact that when people here talk about getting together, NOBODY ever mentions me as someone they'd like to meet. patrick, i've got no reason to sit here telling a bunch of lies. i do have a life. i've a few hundred better things to do w/ my time than to sit around making up totally bogus posts. i'm telling you what happened in each & every case. believe it or don't. it's no skin off my ass one way or the other. admittedly, i started wondering about myself when i started having multiple cases of psychic phenomena. the old apartment house i mentioned earlier, the one w/ the flying dishes, was more than anybody should have to deal w/ in a lifetime. there were several places i lived in after that where nothing happened at all. but this place is starting to heat up in terms of supernatural activity. an old friend of mine has it much worse. she lived downstairs from me in the hell-apartment & had a lot of apparitions, one of which predicted the death of one of her animals. the animal died for no apparent reason soon after the apparition disappeared. this apparition was also seen by an avowed skeptic (who isn't a skeptic anymore). anyway, my friend's psychic noise has followed her everywhere. she now lives in a house that seriously gives me the creeps (no offense to her) & seems to have 24/7 psychic activity. at least i have breaks from time to time. understand that this isn't happening in a vacuum. it affects other people besides me. we have audio phenomena here, which my husband & other people have plainly heard. my husband was king of the skeptics until he got together w/ me & saw for himself. pilate was a skeptic too. pilate believes now, because he's seen it for himself. the weirdest psychic "group encounter" i've had is when a whole room full of people on a college campus--quite a few of them total strangers--saw an elongated humanoid figure hovering over my head. everybody suddenly gasped & pointed toward the ceiling. a few people actually shrieked. when they described the figure, it was one that had been seen in my apartment by myself and several other people. i can't make up shit like that. the entity was there & it was seen by people who have no reason to lie, people who don't even fucking know me. they were genuinely freaked out. |
you always have the most extreme case scenario..... as i said, i have no way of proving or disproving....and i dont really care to...that wasnt my point. for all we know, you could be a fiction writer testing new work....who knows who cares, as I said for the most part i enjoy reading your accounts. false or not.....so with that in mind, carry on...... |
if i were posting fiction, it would be much weirder, don't you think? there are days when nothing weird happens to me at all. hell, there are months like that. everything's calm & peaceful. which is great. i'm a calm & peaceful person. i hate it when events or people seemingly conspire to shatter my calmness. any weird childhood memories i post about stem largely from the fact that all i wanted as a kid was to be left the fuck alone. nobody could honor that. not adults & not other kids. my only emotional revenge is to keep telling the stories, to not be a nice girl & shut up about it. i was never a tattletale as a kid, but i do reserve the right, as an adult, to tell stories of people who brutalized me when i was weak. as for the psychic stuff, i wish it would back off. however, i do like having a certain "spidey sense" about people or events...that certain something that gives me a slight bit of psychic insight. nobody will ever mistake me for cleo, the TV psychic. but i do have a nice bit of intuition sometimes. |
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I do want to meet you, but your making it hard not to fear my life in the encounter... God I'm tired and depressed... I think that if I could avoid the problems I have with my G/F right now, I would humm let me see be glad to see all the shit you do Crimson??? Yeah that sounds about right. |
two years ago, i received a parakeet for christmas. it was doing just fine, a lively little bird, and within about two weeks it would let me hold it for a little while. then one night, about a week before my birthday (it's only a month after christmas), i came home from a basketball game (i played pic in the pep band) and a dance, and the bird was lying on the bottom of the cage, dead. it hadn't been sick or anything. i left the room and didn't come back until my dad took the cage away. it was that night that i saw the skull man for the first time. lying in bed that night, i saw a man in my room. he stood about a foot away from my reclining body, solemn and quiet. knowing i'd sound crazy if i spoke to him aloud (my dad is a total sceptic and my mom used to be convinced that i'd go to hell), i asked a question in my head: "who are you?" he didn't answer. just disappeared. over the course of a few months, i saw him many times. after a while, i stopped asking who he was and began demanding him to leave me alone. he'd follow me anywhere and everywhere he chose. i didn't know what to do. was i crazy? was i hallucinating? i don't see him anymore. it's been a year and half since i last saw him, at least. i should probably give a description, because this uy was weird-looking. he was tanned, possibly native american. he wore a green cloth wound around his shoulders and fastened with an ornate pin. i never saw his face, because he wore a mask: imagine two skulls, minus the lower jaw, fused together at the eye. he gazed out from the nose holes, and had two horns protuding from his two foreheads. i drew an accurate drawing of him once, but it was lost around the time he disappeared. |
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one time i asked what he did. he replied "protection". |
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Or...something wannabe pagans talk about a lot. |
Regardless of what such people think, the green man is your own personal grinch. He's a very common "hallucination," usually carrying messages for you straight outta your pineal gland. An expression of part of the self that most selves underrepresent. Cernunnos, "little green men," goblins: all him/it. Should I trip now on the stupidity of modern "pagans" and Wiccans? nah. In some ways, you have to sorta respect 'em. People too driven to see a dumb idea for what it is, they piece together this "religion" out of bits and pieces of other religions, laboring on about "tradition," and how long this religion has been in practice, (which is total bullshit; Wicca is an invention of the 90s. Sure, some of their beliefs and ideas are really old, but so's the belief that murder is wrong, that life is a cycle, that earth is our parent. Putting it all together as an "organized religion," calling it "craft," and marketing it ... purely modern. They want to practice the "old ways?" Fine. I want some human sacrifices!) then use it as a platform to suppose their superiority to everyone else, all the while squawking about "those awful Christians, always trying to put us down." Like Goths, or Punks, or Anarchists, or any dogmatic group. No two "Pagans" (I love that word; it doesn't mean ANYTHING.) practice their religion in the same way, and each "witch" is always sure that s/he's the one with the true knowledge, the one who really had the big experience. I keep hoping that there really are some wise old wiccans out there, but I haven't met 'em yet. that was fun. |
And of course, I dare you to find anyone who practices their religion the exact same was as anyone else. You also seem sure of your own knowledge about what the Green Man represents, similar to a witch being sure of the "true knowledge"? |
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i remember reading gerald gardner's very popular books on paganism when i was quite young & remember liking them. i'm not sure what i'd think now. those books really helped kick off the trend toward modern paganism. i think they were written in the 1950s. i don't (& never did) believe in the pagan "law of three"--that any bad energy you give out comes back to you threefold. people go on about being "white witches" & only doing good spells. if you're going to be a goody-two-shoes about it, why not just join the baptist church & be done w/ it? at least my satanist friends will admit to having a dark side to balance out their sunshine & light. however, i did grow up practicing southern voodoo. it was quite common. most of the kids i hung out w/ in school carried a mojo bag & knew how to do basic spells. people just knew, as a matter of course, what a high john root was for, or how to use cleo may, hotfoot, has no hanna, crown of success, lucky prophet & other "psychic" powders & oils. old people could work voodoo cures w/ cobwebs. then again, the old ones also believed that you could stop storms w/ an ax. you do a spell burying the ax in your yard w/ the sharp edge facing the coming storm. the ax splits the storm in half, so it'll do less damage to your house. |
I wasn't around very much voodoo, so I don't know a lot about it...it would have been interesting to grow up in the South, I think. |
growing up in the south is weird. & the voodoo thing is oddly regional. i've transferred to various regions within the south & met people who'd never heard of voodoo. one thing that put me right off about paganism was the whole "mother goddess" idea. as if god the father weren't spooky enough, there are all these people getting starry-eyed about a mother goddess. why do people always want to turn deities into parent figures? as if the average parent isn't spooky, abusive & intimidating enough, now people go around creating gods in their image to perpetuate & sanctify the whole bogus "family" concept. blecch. |
I have un confirmed theory on why that is. ( isay unconfirmed meaning, i have never read this in a scholarly text, but damn if it doesnt make sense) I tend to think that when the French first colonized that region, that had made their way through the carribean, where voodoo is heavily practiced, the french picked up some natives along the way and brough them here in the gulf and MS delta. I noticed something growing up in atlanta. actually more in my adult life...we lived in a primarily black neighborhood. anyway the kids all loved nico, she was always sweet and giving the kids toys candy and what not, whenever we came home from work. her perfume and red hair always seemed to fascinate them. anyway whenever they would come over to our apartment, to receive candy or whatnot she had on hand..they were scared to death of our cats, they would stand at the door and peek...and well the cat obviously sensed this fear and was even more sneaky and peered even harder. VERY superstitious kids, even more susperstitious parents. One of cats in particular is almost all black, and man i have never seen genuine fright like that. Even the mother.....(obviously where the kids got it from). This SEEMED more predominant amongst my black neighbors....actually, all of them, except one, who was collge and army educated computer nerd from the Bronx. the mother and 4 kids in particular were high school educated, from small town southern GA.....sweet people but damn superstitious. |
one interesting thing about southern-style voodoo is the cultural mixing involved. african style magic is freely mixed w/ jewish & pennsylvania dutch traditions, just to name a few. nowdays, things are getting mixed up w/ santeria. it's a total mixed bag. |
I've been up to long, just don't feel like reading right now... And hey I'm starting to see stuff too.. Although unlike your apparations Crimson, mine are just hallucinations from sleep deprivation... Hell I've even started to talk to stuffed animals.. And I know thats not really strange. What is strange though, is when they talk back. |
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Heather, tell us what you know of the Green Man ... the spirit of the woods, of trees, of nature itself, usually the watered down image and counterpart of the female Mother Nature. In the broadest sense.He is very often portrayed as feet/roots, hair/leaves, he is found in the forest, and is the guardian of all natural animals and plants in particular (slow moving animals...) In preChristian mythology of the Celtic peoples, sometimes associated with Sweeney, or the Wildman of the forests: The Green Man is archetype. Sometimes referred to and confused with the man on the Gundestrop Cauldron, a shaman image from very early protoceltic times captured in metalwork of a more recent working. This is the Lord of the Animals, where the Green Man has more to do with Lord of all Green Things. The Green Man according to some British not Irish Celtic traditions is an old image who brings gifts at the winter solstice. He is the male embodiment of the life force of green and growing things, and is celebrated in carvings and representations all over the world as a symbol of emergence from the death of winter into the new life of spring. He most closely associated with the Wonder Child stories of which the Christmas story is one version. The Hulk is a caricature easily accessible to most young persons, as the frightening and power force of brute nature. The Green Man however harsh and strong is gentle and life giving. Neither wiccan nor pagan, the Green Man is life itself. And he is not prone to reveal himself even when provoked. One may futilly search many green spaces and in seeking, find him elusive. In being attentive, humble, and patient, and not expecting such a direct revelation, he is most often glimpsed. He may look more like a plant than a human, and looks like Native American to Native American, and like a European to a European, a Mongolian to a Mongolian. Precursers of Santa Claus have their roots in the Green Man, in fact, early Old Man Christmas had a garland of leaves about his head...and animals peeking out his pockets...and plants in his sack. Another modern Irish tale "Bricriu"s Feast" you will find the basis for the Green Man of Sherwood Forest, Robin Hood battling the evil Sherriff for the hand of the Spring Maiden. This is very old stuff. I dunno much about him. Quot estis in convivo. |
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i admit, the occult is facinating, but the best spell for making the light turn green is waiting. chanting or something just makes the wait seem shorter. there's nothing wrong with it. |
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it may be a coincidence (it probably IS a remarkable set of coincidences), but i've had good luck w/ a certain type of spell designed to get rid of negative people. i don't use it very often because it takes a lot out of me. but i'm considering doing it again because my neighbors are becoming fucking intolerable. it's one of many types of spells in which powders or oils are thrown in the yard or doorway of the offending party. it's a track spell...you want your target to step into the magically charged powder & track it into their homes. it sounds like horseshit, right? but i've had it work in inexplicable ways. i got rid of several college students in the middle of a semester. i got rid of my upstairs neighbors in this very apartment complex (unfortunately, another 14-karat asshole moved in right behind them). i've gotten rid of other people, too, & my best friend got rid of a man who sued her using a similar spell. these people just fucking MOVE for no apparent reason. i had great luck w/ a different kind of spell once. i, myself, needed to disappear once, but i was under contractural obligation & couldn't leave the area. or so i thought. i did the spell & it inexplicably came up that the papers binding me to this certain place had never actually been signed. they THOUGHT i signed them, but i didn't. everything worked together in unbelievable, uncanny ways to enable me to leave the state within a week & there was nothing that anybody could do to me, as much as they wanted to. i've mojo'd men before & gotten them into bed. i've worked love spells for other people. i've also worked healing spells, all sorts of things. i've also done seal magic for success in competitions i needed to make a good showing in, w/ pretty good results. i also know of a spell involving eating the intestines of a black cat, but i've never tried that one. |
All discordians are people who are so insecure that they hide behind a religion which allows them to be wishy-washy. and, as we know: All generalizations are false. So Skooter wins free oral sex. congrats. Um... what makes me protestant? I try not to have a closed mind, but occasionally it just snaps shut, and this may well have been one of those times. If so, I apologize. Will you allow me to rephrase the above rant? All passages pertaining to "Pagans," should be prefaced with "Now, this only goes for the "pagans," "wiccans," and "witches," that I personally have met, seen, read, or heard, and only for 99% of them. You can actually sic the goddess on someone? that's neat shit. I'm really tempted to ask to see this. In fact (and I may be signing my death warrant here), out of pure curiousity, and (truthfully) not the least bit of malice, would you doso? please? I'm serious. I always sorta imagined "the goddess" as being the same thing as "the force." It will do your bidding, but it is also your master. Crazy. I still maintain that modern "Paganism" is not at all like the druidic or Earth Worshipping or Sun worshipping or Shamanistic religions from many years ago, which most of the Pagans I know claim they take their practices from. In this modern day, there's too much respect for individuality and "self" for those sorts religions to have much relevance. All the same, I probably did make some nasty generalizations. Maybe you're one of those wise Wiccans I hope to meet? then again, maybe not, if the first reaction to a possible threat is to bear down on them with the threat of smackdown. Oh. Sem wins free oral sex too, just 'cause I like him. |
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Please admit Gee is cute. Thank you. |
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Can't admit someone is cute unless I see them, if I admit prematurly, then I could be held accountable for it later. |
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Pardon me while I lapse into babbling insomniac mode. Got three kids at my house right now. My son's there, of course. His best friend, Violet, will be staying with us until Monday. Violet has a new friend named Keota who's also crashing at my place. It's like a miniature slumber party. The kids got themselves all wound up telling creepy stories. I had to go sit with them for a while and convince them that our house wasn't suddenly going to turn into a scene from "The Exorcist". It's kinda weird having the extra kid around. It strikes me as a bit odd that her parents just let her pop over here and spend the night with my boy. But Keota's folks are big liberals. They did ask to meet me, though. I went over and met them, feeling like I was trapped in some kind of weird 1950s scene, meeting a date's parents or something. They were cool. Violet had mentioned that she was crashing here and just kind of invited Keota along. I don't mind, I suppose. Keota seems to be a nice girl. She's an exotic-looking semi goth girl. Looks sorta like a vampiric art school refugee. She looks older than she actually is and seems to be quite intelligent. Anyway, I'm over at Crimson's place having some hot chocolate and just hanging out. Gotta go home and hang out with the kiddos soon. I actually had hopes of getting frisky with my lover tonight but that's hard to accomplish when your house is occupied by three giggling teenage maniacs. But I'm glad the kids are with us, all safe and sound. They're silly and happy in ways that I never got to be as a kid. I wish them year after year of everlasting silly happy moments. |
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Then he went over to Crimson's place, which, by all accounts, IS a scene from the exorcist. some people just can't get enough. |
my apartment's pretty weird. i live in this weird, grungy, tripped-out place w/ about a godzillion toys everywhere. i've had people really freak out because there are so many toys here, but no kids. but the toys, to me, help add to the serenity (to some people, they might add to the insanity). imagine having a conversation while 40 G.I. joes are aiming rifles at your chest. there are stuffed animals in every square inch of the place. the toys that have freaked out the most visitors are my husband's old ventriloquist dummies. we've had several houseguests who were absolutely phobic of them. i honestly can't say that they thrill me, either. anyway, i guess what i'm saying is that coming to see me isn't always an invitation to a supernatural sideshow. there are a lot of normal moments, too, or as normal as you can get in a place like this. |
My boy's got his two buddies over, Violet and Keota (see above post). Anyway the kiddies were in the back playing "Truth Or Dare". Keota took a dare. Turns out that the dare was pretty simple. It merely involved the girl walking up to me while I sat in the living room. All she had to do was pose a simple question. So she walks right up and says to me: "So, Mr. N_______, when you're giving blowjobs, do you spit or swallow?" The other kids were shrieking with laughter. They got laughing so damn hard, in fact, that they didn't even wait around for the answer. They ran into the bedroom, slammed the door and laughed themselves half to death. I left a while ago and I bet they're still in there laughing. Jesus. |
Yep. I'm joking, all right. |
Kinda funny. It's the only remotely submissive thing I do. I'm totally dominant but also a bit orally fixated. What can I say? I popped in at Crimson's. I've got the key. Usually she's up at this hour but she was actually snoozing for a change. But she woke up and staggered in to talk to me. She reports that she was having a dream about watching Chuck Berry do a show in a trailer someplace. She said that it was a horrible performance. Frightening. Chuck was way too sick to carry on. Suddenly he stopped, stepped out the back, and vomited up a whole bird. A big white bird about the size of a seagull. "This didn't strike me as a good sign," Crimson said. Nope. Usually by the time someone's puking up whole birds, it's pretty much over. |
that was a disturbing dream. gross as hell. i could see chuck berry's wrinkles jumping & twitching as this huge bird agonizingly slithered up from his throat. i woke up laughing like crazy. |
I'm taking my kid with me. Since he's got two buddies now, I'm buying some gifts for them, too. We overheard his newest friend, Keota, complaining that she doesn't have a decent purse. So we're getting her one. If you missed the earlier post, this means that I'm actually shopping for the kid who asked me whether I spit or swallowed. She apologized profusely for asking me that. I was gracious as fuck. I blew it off (pardon the pun). I knew it was just part of the game and that one of the other kids, quite likely my own, put her up to it. I've already bought a set of presents for my lover but I wanna get more. He deserves it. Especially after something he did to me at about 3 o'clock this morning. I'm still recovering. Anything that fun should probably be illegal. Actually, I think it IS illegal in Georgia and several other states. |
The shopping excursion turned into a nightmare. My boy accidentally tripped over some old bat in a crowded department store. He apologized again and again. She wasn't having any of it. She stormed off and got a store manager, all the while screaming at me that I had damn well better discipline my kid. She made a massive public scene about it. She was screaming and raving. It was awful. It was a damn accident. Brendan barely bumped into her. He didn't hurt her at all. He swerved into her because some lady with a stroller nearly ran over his feet and he was just trying to get out of the way. And now my kid (who's already got a major problem with social anxiety) is fucking terrified. He insisted on coming home right away. He's at home right now with my lover. Brendan ran inside and curled up into Trace's arms, saying that he never should have left the house. He's a wreck now. Months of emotional progress right down the drain. The kid is so freaked out. I hope somebody else runs into that cruel old bitch, good and hard, and isn't half as gentle and apologetic as my boy was. |
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Anyway, Brendan has calmed down. Let's see if I can. You've got a two year old? Wow. And I thought I had a lot going on with a teenager or three in the house. |
that shit never happens to me. i wish it would. i'd give that hole a real reason to call the cops. |
snatch that coathanger out of her hands and tell her she better run. NOW! (i'm so macho.) |
I tried to remain as calm as possible. If she really did want to sue me I doubt she'd have a case......but people win lawsuits over really stupid shit these days. I just wanted to get out of there without causing more of a scene or further embarrassing my kid. Brendan kept apologizing over and over. Still, she kept screaming at him. It really sucked. I was just watching the hand with the coat hanger in it. If she hit Brendan in front of all those witnesses, she WOULD be in court, if not in the fucking hospital or mortuary. Macho has its moments. |
you did the right thing. why does this shit set me off? |
It's a double standard. Had it been a man acting like that, yeah, I probably would've fucking decked him. But some manic senior citizen? Let it go, I figured. My main goal was to just get the kid out of the store before he had a full blown panic attack. Chances are very good that if she had hit Brendan with that coathanger, I would've broken her fucking arm. |
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I'm not the venting kind, either. Crimson and I have talked about this before. She's not the venting type and I'd be damn scared to see what she'd do if truly agitated. Crimson is scarier than anyone in this whole damn town. I say that in a loving and respectful sort of way. Crimson's scary for the same reason that I am. It's because we ARE nice people. We can be fucked with for years and just blow it off. But then there's that magic moment when it goes one step over the line. That's the scariest and most dangerous moment of all. The moment when you stop caring about the consequences. I'm outraged that people exist in this world whose only purpose in life seems to be fucking with other people. People like that are the scum of the earth. They need to be fucked with right back. But I'm a fairly peaceful kind of guy and I tend to deal with them the same way I dealt with the kids who fucked with me in Catholic school......avoidance. There are days when avoidance doesn't really seem to cut it, though. I don't tend to vent or lash out. I may get a little bitchy from time to time but it's nothing major. Fortunately, my lover is also a pretty calm person. My kid has a slight tendency for emotional drama (he can be a bit of a nervous wreck at times and cries easily) but it's kind of his way of venting. If he didn't break down every now and then, he'd probably be worse off for it. Considering all he's gone through, I'm lucky that he's not one of those kids who puts his fist through the walls. Crimson has this theory that a person's danger factor (their ability to do serious damage) can be tallied up in terms of how long it's been since they had a real breakdown. If it's been two days since they went into vent mode, then they're only packing about two days worth of real danger. It's the people who haven't blown their stack in twenty years that you've gotta watch out for. That's twenty YEARS worth of anger just waiting to explode. When a punch with twenty years of rage behind it hits you, you're probably going down for the count. I'm going home for some hot chocolate therapy. My lover makes the best hot chocolate. There are days when a cup of homemade hot cocoa seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. |
writing & music really does keep me from going on the proverbial 13-state killing spree. that's why i'm so damn sweet & cuddly. all of the hatred either goes down on paper or gets bellowed into a microphone, leaving behind only the jolly, marshmallow-like humanoid you've come to know & love. hot chocolate therapy. that sounds so damn good. but i'm still on this frickin' no-carb, no-sugar, no-nothing diet. i'm afraid hot chocolate is right out. no hot chocolate for me this winter. that's it. gimme a gun. |
i hope you're all ok tonight. i'm having cold beer therapy. |
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i'm a marshmallow w/ fangs. i'm very nice. i'm a polite person. i observe the basic rules of human courtesy. i'm basically sweet & calm. a marshmallow. still, people seem to be afraid of me. i don't know why. people who do befriend me often tell me that i initially scared the hell out of them...even when i'm being a perfect marshmallow. i especially scare women. i often wish that i didn't. i'm often told that i'm either too creepy & quiet, or that my opinions are too bizarre to handle. the people in the world that i can speak my mind to are few & far between. which is why the internet has been such a great toy. i can spew my opinions all over the place & stand a 50/50 chance of finding a fellow mutant. you're right about using an object instead of actually hitting somebody w/ your fist. twenty years of rage AND a big fucking club might make an impression. |
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i don't do blowups. i always thought that people who couldn't keep their temper in check were the ultimate pussies. they lack strength of will. they lack control. if you're going to kill a man, then fucking well KILL him...but don't stomp around the house & throw a fucking fit about it. either get revenge in a cool, calculted manner, or forget about it. i've never in my life had any kind of big blowup. i don't cause scenes. i don't believe in that shit. at least for myself. however, i do believe in catharsis in a contolled setting. if somebody needs to scream & cry to keep his shit together, so be it. but do it in a padded room somewhere, or in the shrink's office. don't subject other people to it. |
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Whoa. Hey, I realized it was an anti-stress kinda deal, but now I can look at it as.....well, the answer to all of life's problems. I'd better get started right away. I'm sure Crimson won't mind the mess on her keyboard. |
have fun! |
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actually, that's kinda funny, the remark about the ova...i've admitted this once on this site before, but pilate & i actually have made the beast w/ two backs. it was way back when we were college students. man, were we drunk. from what i can remember of it, though, it was one of the highlights of my life. around that same time period, pilate & i also dropped acid & got ourselves trapped in a hugeass rotating barrel in toadsuck, arkansas. long story. the more i think about it, blowing a load on my keyboard does NOT sound like a good idea. but you're right, it's better than doing it on the ova. |
the tree is up & it looks festive as hell. we did have a jesus puppet crammed on top of the tree, but my husband just removed it & replaced it w/ an angel. hubby bought the jesus puppet at a christian store. the puppet was meant for a children's ministry. unfortunately, the thing looks like a deranged wino. our lord & savior is now sitting on my mic stand & wearing a dodgers baseball cap. imagine a dreadlocked, big-nosed puppet w/ caterpillar eyebrows & charlie manson eyes. if i were a kid & saw something like that, i'd be wigged out for life. ren, my husband, has a lot of fun w/ the puppet. he makes jesus bitch about his hemorrhoids & tell stories about chasing whores in tijuana. |
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ren's freaking out our pet rodents. he's running the siren on a toy police car. they seem terribly confused by this racket. they're all running around & looking for the source of the noise. i've gotta get to bed. i've actually got to be somewhere in the morning. a bit of business in oklahoma. i'm not a morning person, to say the least. i'd better get some sleep so i can actually function & everything. |
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i'm running late. massively late. i should be on the road already, but i'm waiting for someone else to show up. holy crap, i'm sleepy. had a hell of a time getting up this morning. i'd really like to crawl back into bed. sometime after i get back, i'll probably be filming some stuff w/ pug. i'm not even sure what we'll be doing. he'll just turn on the camera & i'll launch into impromptu depravity. a frenchman living in arizona saw some of our shows & has decided that i'm absolutely funny as hell. i'm pleased. but then, the french dig jerry lewis, too. i recently got an e-mail from someone who watched a couple of shows & simply said, "i didn't know that people like you existed." i don't know if that's good or bad. probably bad. he also advised us to cut out the heavy drugs, but the material in question was filmed while we were stone cold sober. |