I was talking to some mates over some too much grainy red wine and we were pontificating on the sexual orientation debate, especially the prevalence of bisexuals. Now that I'm sober, it still interests me. Has sexuality become a fashion statement? Do you think some people are bi because they almost feel peer pressure to experiment?

sexuality has been a fashion statement since the dawn of time. some people ARE bi because of peer pressure. definitely. i've seen them in action. they're the same people who are always picking up the fad-of-the-month, regardless of what it is. i've been bi since the '70s. it's something that's hard to explain. my relationship w/ women is bizarre. i am far more picky about the women i surround myself w/ then the men. can't explain that. in the 70s, being openly bi meant being a freak & an outcast. it was very much looked down upon. by the late 80s, suddenly it was hip. in the 90s, it was mandatory. now a lot of the people who were pretending to be bi in the 80s & 90s have moved on to The Next Big Thing. i'm just glad that things are more open. even if there are a bunch of poseurs on the scene pretending to be bi, that's all right. at least it's not looked down upon like some kind of disease, like it was when i was younger.

hell, since i'm sitting here blitzed out of my mind on pain meds, let me add something else. or feel free to simply ignore this post while i rattle on like a fool. i mentioned "poseurs on the scene" pretending to be bi. see, that's one of the problems w/ sex these days. everything's a scene. for instance, i know these people who do BDSM parties. everything's all about "the scene". their entire sexuality revolves around a scene & christ help you if you don't fit within that scene's narrow confines. if you're not following the party line, you're not doing it right. their gatherings, incidentally, are a terminal bore. everybody does the exact same thing & does it in the same way. cookie-cutter sexuality has never appealed to me. pug & i attended one of these little shindigs. we were so bored that it was ridiculous. we sat there all night watching tons of nude people engaging in public acts of so-called depravity. what should've been a cool & decadent display of eroticism turned into nothing more than an interminable yawnfest. you'll often hear scene players bitching about other people who "aren't doing it right". how, in terms of sex, is one not doing it right? that phrase always baffled me (& i've noticed that only scene types make frequent use of the phrase). well, okay, there's a possibility that a guy like jeff dahmer wasn't doing it right. but minus killing & subsequently devouring your partner's flesh, rights & wrongs in the field of human sexuality are pretty few & far between. so what gives these "scene" jackasses the right to pretend they wrote the manual on sexual relations? these scenesters are the same people you'll find in clubs pretending to be fashionably bi. which is okay. but when they're done playing & the fashion switches over to something new, they'll be gone in a puff of smoke. these are the people who make all bisexuals suspect as instant flakes who'll change their mind after a month or so of dabbling. i can tell you that most bi people are met w/ a condescending pat on the head & are generally regarded as just being trendy.

Not since "Caligula" or "Showgirls" has sex been so boring as it was that night....and that's a crime.

I knew a guy who became "Bisexual" when it became the "In" thing----much the same as he started going to raves when they were the "In" thing----not knocking raves---if they provide a good opportunity to get drugs or sex god bless 'em....this guy was pretty fascinating and a good guy to know for awhile---he knew how to network----but it got so you couldn't depend on him. Is he still Bi? Does he still go to Raves? Is he still into S & M? Who knows? Could now be a NASCAR fiend for all I know. After awhile I started seeing through him. Some people say all the right things---but when it comes right down to the nitty gritty they just don't deliver the goods.

the thing is crimson....who is actually bi? Thats such a difficult determination to make. Yes its totally en vogue to be bi. Girls are kissin on the telly... I've done things to guys, she's done things to girls. Are we bi? No i don't think so. I could never kiss a guy, or be affectionate with a guy like i am a woman. And she could never fall in for a girl like she does for a guy. There are no fine lines in these types of issue. Don't get me started with the whole BSDM scene. Some of the most pretensious assholes i've ever met. I think it all silly. The charades! They go to so much trouble! i've never participated in that scene...Im just not into the silly garb, assmunch lingo and the concept of torture as titilation, but thats just me. My pursuits in photography have brought me in touch with that whole "fetish" thing...god those people are just so full of themeselves. Hanging around nerve.com a lot and knowing people who work there i can tell you that yes...bisexuality, "fetish" culture and BSDM are all is a media induced trend. It's been featured in films "Wild Things" comes to mind, the subject matter is in every god damn Cosmo and Maxim issue. like i've been saying, all along...its a silly trend. living in hollywood, obviously i may be a bit jaded because i see the exploited, over the top end of these things....but the sheep here are so gulliable. i tend to think sexuality as one big grey and amorphous body floating in a vacuum. It can never be pegged to one corner or there other. I don't understand self proclaimed bisex people anymore than i do hetero or homosexuals. I believe its so limiting to label yourself one or the other. We are capable of so much more, why box yourself in? The officials labels are not worth much more concern anyway. To answer your question cat, yes i think many gals are being pressured into messing with other chicks by their big lug boyfriends who read about it in the popular mags and see it in the movies. Funny though, the converse isnt happening. Im wanting the media to induce a guy on guy trend...either that or a trans gender trend. Either one should be fun to watch from the bleachers.

hey patrick! answer my question under the sister song thread, dammit! i already stated my position on sexuality

further, self proclaimations, personal ads catering to these various groups, "bi curious chick looking for fun" etc etc etc its like...damn!!!! you take all the mystery out of it. a friend once posted on another bbs she said: "boys and girls I need a good suggestion for a place in LA very friendly to artistic bi girlies, good music and a mixed crowd that's relatively unpretentious and not meat market gross." and I responded to her: "Anyway....hey kcoop, myabes its because im jaded (all in sync now "YES HE IS") but if you head out in LA with those kinds of parameters. I think all you will find are trendy psuedo "fetish" clubs, and silly valley girls with knee high boots and vinyl clothes calling themselves "mistress" or "dom" something or other and pay $20 to get in, take pseudo X and drink red bull. In otherwords...buyer beware. I think we tend to try so hard to find our "scene" that perhaps we overlook the most basic and essential of interactions. The internet has made us so target specific we forget everything in between. Im so sick of "bisexual" chicks....and "fetishists" ....maybe im grumpy. We have catagorized and isolated every aspect of our sexuality we forget what we were to begin with. Are more girls going down on each other than yesteryear? No, not really, but we keep talking about it as if. Coop, we have been meaning to hook up with you for sometime. If you come into town, you know where to find me. Nico and I can show you a good time...and neato places to go. Just be warned looking for "artistic bi-girlies" is only gonna set you up for trouble.....chances are."

red bull tastes like crap

boy howdy, was i wrecked when i posted that stuff. & i'm still a little woozy. anyway, i'm not bothered by the "bi" label. i mean, to me, it's a little less limiting than saying i'm straight (shit, there's 1/2 of humanity that i'd be cutting myself out of if i said that). in one way, labels are bullshit. but then again, there are all these silly shits who bray on about "no more labels!" how dumb. hey, if you go into a music store, would you not find a few labels helpful? keeps you from looking for beethoven in a bin full of rap artists. same thing w/ sex ads. if someone says they're bi, at least a person's got a starting point there...a frame of reference. sure, they may be a bisexual AND a hopeless trendoid & lame on a stick, but at least it's known that they're open to both male & female partners. so it becomes a fairly convenient designation. not the best one & not the only one, but it can at least give people a starting point. i've heard a bit of this "what is bi?" debate. the very question strikes me as hopelessly absurd. i guess things are more complex on the west coast or in places like new york, where these questions always seem to spring up. to me, bi means you're into both genders. how hard can that be to figure out? i mean, it just seems rather obvious to me. but then again, what do i know? oh, yeah, one more quick rant...i can't STAND women who claim to be "bi" just because some damn man told them to be. you see that shit all the time. they recruit other women via personal ads--not for themselves, but just for the entertainment of some dumbass who hasn't got the balls to procure a woman by himself. it's all for HIS entertainment and HIS pleasure. fuck that shit. those people drive me crazy. & don't even get me started on the whole "swingers" crowd, which is almost as weird & uptight as the BDSM scene.

just as bad are the twisted fuck girls who get the girl that her boy cheated on her with to be attracted to her and then kiss in his room during a party while he's not there. that's messed up. hmmmm. who the hell would do that?

heather?

for chrissakes. being bi isn't fashionable, it's just more fun. besides, there's no reason to categorize one's sexuality at all. it just makes it easier for others who need to have nice, clean little boundaries within which to define oneself. ok, that's about all i have for today. surgery went fine. while i was coming-to in the recovery room last friday, i overheard the anesthesiologist tell the staff that my heart rate was a steady 40 during the procedure. he told them not to panic if it dropped to 32, and not to give me additional pain meds. besides the epidural i had. i've only been home a couple hours, but oh how i already miss the epidural. the procedure was fine, but now... the pain is nearly insufferable. this totally sucks. i'm going back to bed. just wanted to let you all know that i'm ok. or at least, i'll be ok in about 2 weeks. also, my stomach looks really fucking weird. the skin is all numb and i'm swollen, and i actually weigh 5 pounds heavier right now than i did when i checked into the hospital... oh yeah, and hospital food blows chunks. eggo brand waffles for breakfast (are those things actually made with edible food products or biproducts?), diseased monkey meat with mayo on wonder bread for lunch, and pork chunks in gravy over white rice for supper. i do not think i was served one fresh fruit or fresh or cooked or frozen vegetable in my 5-day stay there. the staff, they ask you all the time if you are nauseated, and i had to say yes because the food made me sick. my dad smuggled me in a fresh spinach salad, and a friend brought me dark chocolate and diet dr. pepper so i didn't starve to death. oh, one more thing. when you really *need* an enema, they're not as bad as you think they'd be. it's the little things.

being bi is totally fashionable as portrayed in the media. glad all went well. i still want to scold your friends who couldnt make time to pick you up.

kelsey, you bitch, i think i just busted my stitches open laughing at those photos of fluffah. christ almighty. now i really do have to go lay down. thanks patrick.

fluffah is a product of hell.

FLUFFAH IS DEAD. LONG LIVE FLUFFAH!!!!

oh, and sarah, you rock. i'm glad you're okay.

oh, and as far as the bi thing goes, i have always wished that i were bi. more specifically, i have always wished that i were gay. it seems like being with a woman would be a more natural relationship for me, in every way but for the sex. so it goes.

Bi the way, open thy mind, genitals will follow. Being bi is like... being agnostic. Straddling the fence, hedging thy bets, equivocating. God is an illusion, religion is a farce, athiesm is arid. Something is out there?!?!

Agatha, for the sex, there's always strap-ons. The best of both worlds! And fuck you dumpster boy, you spastic creep!

Sarah,glad all went well.Keep us posted on your progress.

Not that I ever did it,I'm hetro,but if you think about it,what would be the difference if it was a man or a woman munching your carpet?Or if you are a man ,giving you a blow job?

With your eyes closed, probably not much, except if a guy's rough beard rubbed against your tool or your sack, that'd probably kill the mood real fast.

From what I hear,people seem to make the adjustment pretty readily if confined,say in a prison type atmosphere. At this time in my life I remain completely enthralled with male packaging,but never say never.

I like bi artsy chicks. I think the whole line of thought of guys trying to strongarm their girlfriends into bisexual encounters is whacked....I asked an old girlfriend once how she felt about it once----I asked her, "do you get off on looking at two guys getting it on?" Her answer was, "no....do you?"

Oh,Dougie,I like that rough beard rubbing on my parts. But thats from a female standpoint.I like the outdoorsey type.You know,too busy hiking to bother shaving.

hairy backs?

i think too much thought on the labels can be drag. and i understand WHY we have labels...im not knocking that. I guess what im trying to say is if asked, ive always bee "hetero" but you know the times i have been involved down the other side of the street...it wasnt thought out, it wasnt contemplated. It was determined, ok, this is homosexual behavior or this is bisexual behavior..it was just sex! it just seemed natural. meaning i truly experienced my uninhibited self...and then the drugs wore off and i resumed punishing myself with internal homophobia developed during my complex sexual development years.

Well,that I could do without.But hairy chests work for me.

that should be "it WASN'T determined, ok, this homosexual behavior this is bisexual behavior.."

Hairy chests are nice. So are hairy forearms and stubbly faces. And deltoid muscles.

PS. I don't know why I'm sharing this, and I don't know what's with me today that I keep thinking about things of this nature, but John Kricfalusi is interviewed in this week's Onion, and I really like his face. A lot. I'm glad he shaved his beard. Stubble=nice. Beards=aversive stimuli.

doesn't your religion compromise your natural tendencies (i.e. your sexuality)? How do you deal wth that?

That's a tough question. I could write a term paper on it. I also am not sure if, by religion, you mean the teachings of the church or my own conscience. I don't know how interesting either one of them is, and I also don't have the time to write because I have another meeting in 4 minutes. This may sound like I'm fishing for attention or something, but if you want me to give you an answer, tell me. I might have a chance to write tonight, but I'd be doing it for you, not me. Know what I'm saying? I hope I don't sound mean. I'm just late for my meeting!

no no...its not THAT important.

Good.