| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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I told myself that if i woke up in time to get there for the 8am line-up deadline, i would. If not, we would rent a video camera and somehow document the talent freaks in line. 9am came around and i was still in bed, so we called the rental place, and somehow $50 seemed steep, even for something that funny. But i decided to go check out the line anyway. Auditions started at 8, and when i got into Toronto at 4 you could still see the lineup from the train. Maybe even from space. I knew it was happening inside the convention centre, but what entrance? How do you find the begining of an Idol audition line, you ask? Easy. Just follow the trail of crying hooches. Honestly, the closer we got, we passed more and more weeping bands of skanked-up girls, sobbing into their Shakira pants. It was awesome!!! The road to idol is paved with prima-donnas dragging sleeping bags. (Just as a side, you know they raised the age for contestants here? originally it was 16-24, but here it's 16-26! there could be a ten year difference between the contestants!) Behold, the line. A snake-like monolith around the block and looped through 2 empty parking lots. Some part of me wanted to take a picture, and yet at the same time it seemed like a waste of film. More skanks. The surrounding fields were covered in abandoned sleeping bags and litter. Tv cameras. Hundreds of Port-o-Potties. People with camcorders who had the same idea as me, the kitch-obsessed. My people! The auditions had been going on for 8 hours already when we showed up, but there was still well over 1000 people in line. Luckily it had been a really nice weekend. The litter was the funny part. It was all rave flyers, club flyers, the usual shit left behind an event, but mixed in with flyers for modeling agencies and talent scouts, acting schools, voice lessons, recording places, diet pills (!) and Justin Guarini's upcoming album ('Pubes' from AI season 1) I found a discarded Contestant Release Form, which i kept. What i was really looking for was one of those contestant number stickers, but there were none to be found. We stood on the roof of the convention centre and tried to figure out how it all worked. I don't know why i excpected a cheery, sing-song vibe from these people, they were dirty and tired, not at all like the promos would have you believe! The first girls in line got there on Thursday afternoon, they'd been in line for 5 days. The feeling in the air was annoyance. It was almost creepy silent, and no one in line was talking to eachother. The ones who had already made it, (you remember them from tv, the ones with numbers taped to their shirts) were not talking to anyone AT ALL. Just drinking bottled water and nervously tapping their feet. Everyone looked angry. Bitchy. It was tense as hell. In short- Cattiest place EVER. Proof? When we got down to the ground level and walked past the hopefulls in line, i recieved not one, but three (3) bitchy comments about my outfit. For real. huh? It would seem that you stood in line, then went into a tent where you filled out your forms, then auditioned for the producers. If you passed, you got your cute little number, and waited to go into the building for your filmed audition with the judges. Sass Jordan!! I don't know how many people were there that day, the news failed to say, but the contestant numbers by then were in the late 8000's. Did i mention that the lineup was catty? They were behind a chainlink fence, and a riot fence, but what i caught of their conversations was gold. GOOOOOOLD! Girl is talking about girl directly in front of her in line- "Can you believe her? I can't believe they let her in. She's SO a Christina Agulera wanna-be, and like half as skinny. She hasn't got the soul that i do in my voice" And then she bursts into a Destiny's Child song, which really gets the line going with comments about her voice ... and outfit, of course. Okay, there were boys there too, frosted hair and all, however they failed to stand out amongst the dark sea of diva-tude. I really would have loved to stay there all day and hear more, but i can't express how awful it was. Everyone was just standing around, staring down the competition. And the bystanders. So i left pretty fast, kinda wishing i hadn't seen all that. On the way back i ran into this girl i was in college with who had auditioned and was coming the next day for her call-back with the judges. She's nice. She doesn't deserve to be with those people. I hope they don't eat her or something. Maybe i'll try next time :) p.s. another funny thing was that the ones who made it to the 2nd round insisted on wearing their contestant numbers all day, whether they made it any farther or not, just to rub it in. There were kids everywhere downtown sporting them on their shirts. |
On that note, I need to go find something to eat. I haven't eaten yet today and need to stop that. |
They're being all snarky about my clothes and i'm not even in the contest! I'm just walking by, and they're fucking pointing! Waytta get my vote. |
No shit. And besides, like you needed to go all hoochie when you weren't auditioning......like you or I would go all hoochie even if we did audition :) Again, I haven't eaten anything yet and probably should go force some food down my throat so I don't get weak from not eating. |
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just keep reloading, geocities can be a real bitch about pics. Or cut n paste. and this was the line. the line and the feilds, or is that a line to get to the line? more photos here |
clicky-poo |
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You can get Sars in cans over here. |
dearest Spider, i'm always smirking because i probably look exactly like everyone assumes you look. it is silly. |
cans? que? |
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I will get a picture. |
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and sad at not making pictures for your book. I bet it's a super book if you wrote it. :( that's funny because i have this series of book pieces that i ran out of ideas for and i always thought i should get you guys (everybody) to write it. i bet you just put it on your comp because you loves da hooches. Especially that first one, lookit her! with her big hair and her thong and her afghan-esq thing tied around her jeans. she's such a hooch! "Oh no you DIH-UN!" Spider-baby, that would totally work. Even after we started talking, for a while, i bet. Then i'd have to wear a nametag that said NOT SPIDER |
