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I know who. Here's the catch... I've always been a supporter of condoms and safe sex, and I always thought of myself as the kind of guy to never pressure a girl to do anything she doesn't want to do, especially on the subject of condoms. So the first time me and my girl were to have sex I had my condom ready and we were talking and she told me she didn't want me to have it. At first it didn't make a lot of sense to me, but her point makes a lot of sense. She wanted the first time to be natural, and do you really want a latex product in the middle of one of the most memorable times of your life? But I thought what about the risk of pregnancy? I found out later that girls can only get pregnant 4 or 5 days out of the month, and they are only impregnated 20% of the time in those 5 days, and the withdrawl method drastically reduces the odds. So I can see why skipping the condom just the first time could be ok. The question is should I forget my morals to please my girl or should I not? |
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You generally should be using protection. Since it sounds like this is the first time for both of you, there is only a miniscule chance that either of you are HIV positive, unless you're sharing needles with AIDS patients shooting up during recess. However, the big danger you need to worry about is pregnancy. If a high school girl sleeps with a boy unprotected, her chances of contracting HIV are very small, the hype nonetheless. However, her chances in the not-so-long run of getting pregnant are close to 100%. While a woman generally has a five day window during ovulation for pregnancy to occur, your 20% figure is bullshit, as is "the withdrawal method". During this time, preganancy can occur without any actual insertion, just from outside genital contact, though this is rare. Precum is loaded with millions of sperm, and a full ejaculation has billions or trillions. It only takes one. Think about those odds, and then try to sleep at night for the next two weeks waiting for her period. Don't fuck with it. Also, "the rhythym method" is notoriously unreliable; just ask any of the six kids in the Catholic family down the road. The window is difficult to determine with precision; don't fuck with it. However, if both of you want to be without protection for your first times (and I'm assuming she is unable to get on the Pill without her parents knowing), the first day or two after her period is about as safe as you're going to be. While AIDS may not be omnipresent in the junior high population, there are other things out there. Clamydia is the most prevalent STD by far; while curable, herpes, hepatitis, and others are not. Gonorrhea and syphilis are nasty. Use condoms. But don't be lulled into a false sense of security by the propaganda: they only have about a 97% effectiveness, and some varieties do nothing as a prophylatic against disease transmission. One reason I'll take heat for saying anything other than the party line on condoms, condoms, condoms, is that those promoting the advice don't want to give you any complicating shade of gray that dilutes the message. If there are behaviors that are non-risky in some circumstances, there is a great temptation to misuse those to justify unsafe actions in the heat of passion. You sound like you've got your head in the right place; but things aren't so clear when you're actually having sex. Stick to your principles and you'll never regret it a hundredth as much as if you don't. |
Alright, Doc. Voice of experience here. For christsake, use protection. I had sex for the first time when I was 15. My girlfriend at the time was a devout Catholic, and was uncomfortable with birth control. (BING! What the fuck was I thinking? Fornication but no birth control?) She suggested the rythym, pull it out quick method. "You bet!" I thought, in a hormone haze. Luckily, she didn't get pregnant. But, almost as bad, she led me to believe that she was knocked up. Not a pleasant experience, taking drivers ed and thinking about fathering a child at the same time. You DON'T want to experience that. You might think, "I'm not going to be that stupid." Smarts have nothing to do with it. Sometimes your dick dictates. Women can get pregnant any time of the month, even when they're flowin' heavy. You don't have to ejaculate to let a few million swimmin' willies out of the gate. I would suggest that you wait a few years before humpin' to your hearts content, but I know that'd be futile. Just remove one worry and glove yourself. You'll be glad you did. </soapbox> |
unless you're filming a porn, you're going to want to blow your men as deep as possibly. i think it's built into the male psychology. get the boys close to the money zone (physiolocial money zone, not pornographolical money zone, which is the face or small of the back/ass.) |
Having sex without protection for any reason(unless it's a partner that you've been with for a long time and you trust them with your LIFE!!!!!!) is ridiculous! What if the memorable part of your "most memorable experience" ends up being "What should we name the baby?" or "I'm dying of AIDS because I wanted my first experience to be natural." I'm saying nothing derogatory about either one of you, I'm just trying to give you something to think about. (you didn't even get your percentages right on pregnancy. Not to mention the fact that you're basically clueless on the rest, for example: there are only 5 or so days that a woman can get pregnant. You got that right, but the lottery part is - which 5 days? They are different in almost every woman.)Is having sex without protection worth being a daddy at 15 just for the "natural feeling"? |
I forgot to mention one thing, the very fact that you had to seek advice on that means you are so not ready to have sex! The question of protection should not have crossed either one of your minds. Protection should be mandatory with anyone you're first getting sexually involved with. Someone who's "Ready to have sex" would have known that. Good luck kiddo, you may need it. |
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>>>>>>>> "...This is the worst chewing gum I've ever tasted." -graffiti on the side of a truckstop condom vending machine (P.S. This is NOT advice) |
I see that a lot of people had lots of advice for me. Since everyone said "Go Condoms!" you win... sorta. We didn't actually have sex at all. We broke up about two weeks later. Aren't I glad I didn't do that! Well, I will use a condom in the future, and I'm still scared to death at the thought of teenage pregnancy. |
thx God, somebody made condoms some friends of mine are dead. I don't need to tell you why. |
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