Sister Problem


sorabji.com: I need advice: Sister Problem
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By
Crawford on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 12:42 am:

    ok
    last week my sister and i
    and about 200 other people
    were at a church youth camp type thing.
    one day at recreation
    i noticed that i hadn't seen her almost any that day.
    i look for her and find her.
    i ask her friend shelley what was up
    she said "nothing"
    later that day
    right before evening worship
    i see her cry and fall into shelley's arms.
    after that
    i ask shelley again what was going on.
    again
    her reply was "nothing"
    the next day
    i learned
    (i can't recall how)
    that she had passed out as a result of eating almost nothing since monday.
    this freaked me out.
    by this time i knew something weird was going down.
    so i ask her friend jimmy
    "what's going on with rachel"
    he says
    "nothing"
    this was beginning to irk me ever so slightly.
    so i ask lindsay
    she says
    "why don't you ask rachel?"
    i told her that she would probably say that it was none of my business.
    but i asked her anyway.
    "nothing. you don't need to know. i don't want to talk about it."
    so i ask mrs. pruitt
    (a friend's mom)
    she says that rachel hadn't eaten since monday
    and that she says this isn't the first time she's done it.
    IMPORTANT FACT: last year at camp, shelley made it known that she had an eating disorder.
    rachel had told shelley of her actions.
    medical counsel was sought
    from my room chaperone
    Dr. mike.
    she was real mad at mrs pruitt
    cos she tried to get her to follow dr mike's advice
    (which was to drink 2 glasses of orange juice)
    anyway
    mrs pruitt finishes her story.
    by then
    everyody that knows about rachel
    knows that i know.
    lindsay offered me her number so i could call her if i wanted.
    i eventually ask rachel about it.
    some of her statements:

    "It didn't happen."
    [what?! of course it did!]

    "Whatever Mrs. Pruitt told you is wrong."
    [When she said this, she didn't know exactly what Mrs. Pruitt told me.]

    "It doesn't matter."
    [the heck it doesn't! NEWS FLASH, RACHEL!!! WHEN PEOPLE DON'T EAT, THEY DIE!]

    anyway, i'm scared that if i pursue it, she'll continue, and if i don't, she'll continue.

    i don't know what to do.


By Jenny wren on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 01:58 pm:

    Why don't you all your mom and tell her or whatever? I mean someone influential has to care enough about your sister to put her in some kind of treatment. I think that you should tell on her. A while ago I was taking Dexatrim and eating hardly nothing... I grew sickly and pale, tired and exhausted... my rents found out and put me in counseling and doctor's care... I got better real quick.


By Jenny wren on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 01:58 pm:

    Why don't you call your mom and tell her or whatever? I mean someone influential has to care enough about your sister to put her in some kind of treatment. I think that you should tell on her. A while ago I was taking Dexatrim and eating hardly nothing... I grew sickly and pale, tired and exhausted... my rents found out and put me in counseling and doctor's care... I got better real quick.


By Jen on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 01:58 pm:

    P.S. Sorry about the double post... accident. :)


By J on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 02:24 pm:

    God,I,ll just never figure out why people starve themselves,I wonder if poor people do this,I doubt it.Jen,hey!Now if only R.C.,comes back...You need to spill your guts to your parents Crawford,like yesterday!


By Agatha on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 03:33 pm:

    i agree. tell your parents, crawford. and, maybe a counselor, too. your sister may be mad at you, but this is serious business. she is lucky to have a brother as caring as you.


By Crawford on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 11:39 pm:

    a few hours ago
    i found out that my mom has known ever since we got back from camp.
    she's telling me that
    "Rachel doesn't fit the profile of an anorexic."
    Nonsense.
    She's a teenage girl. What other characteristics do you need?
    So it turns out that I'm the only one that is concerned.
    Crap.




By Lawanda on Thursday, July 15, 1999 - 05:49 pm:

    Oh, that's a bummer that your mom isn't trying to look at it from your point of view. I'd be on the side of caution. If my child thought the other one was in serious trouble, and had the guts to come to me about it, I would definitely pay attention.

    What next? So talking to the church people didn't work out. Maybe try that again? Maybe they'd be able to do some family counseling or guidance? Even if you went alone, they might be able to help you deal with the situation, then bring in others in the family as they see needed.

    Try to find out more. Is she purging? How often does she go without food, and for how long on the average? Is she just mis-guided about weight maintenence or is it deeper?

    Good luck to you. Don't give up trying to find help.


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