That title sounds so harsh, really...oh well! So, I'm tempted to walk up to this fellow I really like and just tell him very plain and openly "I like you." and see how he reacts, but my friend Tommy tells me that that kind of thing would just freak a guy out and he'd run. I've done that kind of thing twice before...once it was met with a vewy quick "I like you too!" and the other time it was like pulling teeth to get an admission of mutual affection. not good. I'm always seeing guys who're saying that they'd love it if some woman hit on them or asked them out or etc etc., so I'm confused. Just being very open about it would be the easiest thing for me since I absolutly Suck (no pun intended - teehee) at the games boys and girls play with each other when they're interested in romantictype stuff. This question is for the menfolk and any women who either used to be a man, or have some expearience with telling boys they think they're keen: If some girl you didn't suspect of it came up to you and told you she liked you...how would you react? um...if she was cuteasabuddun.

Oh, I was terrible about this. If I was interested in a guy, I would unabashedly go foward. Sometimes met with a look like "Are you nuts?" or it was a good thing. For some reason, I never understood the girl/guy chapter of waiting for what you want, be passive, blah, blah. This may sound trite, but just be yourself. If you don't want to just say "I like you.", then ask him to do something with you and see what he says. Good luck. I hope he's wonderful.

it's a good thing Gee, I like an aggressive woman, who knows what she wants, if you want to really impress him, not only walk up to him and tell him he looks hot in those vintage dungarees but immediately after those words leave you mouth and you see something positive roll out of his mouth or in his expression, plant one on his lips, tell him you have been dying to kiss him, take him out for pizza, play some pinball with hi,m and drink some beer, BUY THE DATE, and then take him back to your house and shag him silly. You will forever engrave ...."Gee" (or whatever your name may be) on his libido and psyche for ever.... but you know thats just me an all.

The only problem is if the interest isn't mutual. a lot of guys die without ever being propositioned, much less having to turn someone down. sometimes you can only handle so much unusual stuff before your brain disengages.

definitely tell him. you don't have to walk up to him and say you want to fuck his brains out. just tell him that you like him and that you needed to tell him and find out if he is interested. if you approach him with modest honesty, he will respond with honesty. and that's what you want, right? the worst thing that can happen is that he says (probably in a polite and kind way) he's not interested, but then at least you know. and if he likes you, he will let you know and he will be thrilled that you walked up to him and made that move. if he reacts in a freaked out way, you really don't want to be with him anyway. if he can't deal with a woman who knows what she wants, then forget about it. we're not that mysterious. of course a guy would love it if a cute woman comes up to him and expresses interest. you have to be pretty weird not to like that. good luck!

gee - is there a picture of you on the web? I could look at it and then give you a better answer than I could otherwise.

you are wildly misguided.

I cast my vote for the direct approach. Definately. Don't wait, don't hesitate. The next time you see the guy, do it, and shit I wish I was the him!

I agree but also have to say, if the guy looks "shocked" it doesn't mean that he isn't interested. We guys, like it or not are still expected to do the pursuing. When someone pursues us it is a shock or surprise. Besides being pursued is flattering even if you're not interested in the pursuer.

I forgot, I'm glad to see the tables turned, Women make fun of men, their approach, timing, etc...but the fear of rejection is a powerful feeling. If you don't want to be a "hypocrate", then it's showtime, your up, go ask him.

YOUR=YOU'RE

See, see...what Nate said. I mean, I can accept that he might not like me, and I can handle being told that, but I'm worried about making him feel really uncomfterble. I've been in that position (having someone I was not at all interested in propositioning me. over and over and over.) and I HATED it. I wouldn't wish that kinda thing on my worst enemy. Cyst - I don't have a picture. I wish I did. I'm pretty sure that, at this point, what what I look like is a big factor in what He thinks about me, but I can't get anyone else to admit that. sigh. What Nate said is sticking out here. As usual Swine's wisdom is lost on me, but that's okay cuz he's kinda weird. The rest of you, thanks...I'll try to remember not to rip my clothes off and jump him in the middle of the street.

I'm wildly misguided? so if some girl suddenly confesses to some guy that she has the hots for him, his response will have nothing to do with whether she's a looker or not? are you sure?

hey Gee, now you have a taste of what us fellas have dealt with since the elementary school skate-or-rama nights at the roller rink. Now you see, Like the Beav sez, I am glad to hear about a female's anticipation fright, our society has trained us to do all the approaching and have you do all the rejecting (or accepting), either way that line of thought puts the power and control inevitably in the fem's hands. We schling our insecure selves out with hopes and prayers she says yes, or at least if she says no, she says it nicely and the hens around her won't laugh at you. may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house,. uh.....eh.....good luck!

i'm saying you're wildly misguided because you keep insisting that you can predict a man's reaction to a woman based on your (purely subjective) analysis of the woman's superficial image. shit doesn't work like that. at least not for me. you have to take into consideration sensuality, personality, MENTAL STABILITY, compatibility, etc, etc, blah blah blah. unless you're just gauging the lowest common denominator and want to see if her facial features are symmetrical so you can judge her chances of being treated like meat for a weekend... anyway. what the hell do i know? i like discardable meat sometimes. and besides, i'm kinda weird. enough of this shit. it's miller time.

Gee - i'm not saying don't do it. memory is a collection of events and regrets. make more events, less regrets.

I agree with Swine on the looks thing. Some of the damn ugliest people in the world marry lookers, (ie: Mick Jagger and anyone) because it is so subjective. It has to do with charisma, power, self confidence. It can come down to the way a person moves, the way they can smile brightly, any number of things. I just hope all goes well. I remember getting awfully queezy before I jumped head first.

or money , but I am in LA, naturally I am jaded.

Ok, i'm actually going to answer the question: My first reaction would of course be suprise, becuase that's the natural reaction for either a man or woman if you don't realize the person in question has the hots for you. My second reaction would be to say "What?" The girl would then repeat what she said, and depending on my feelings for that person, i would answer truthfully what my feelings were. At this stage in the game, the answer would probabaly I like you too. Then there would be the akward silence because neither of us has any idea of what you're supposed to do next. Then we'd probably go get a coffee and talk.

lawanda - ugly MEN hook up with FEMALE lookers -- not the other way around.

some people say Men get the prettiest women their bank acct can afford and that women get the richest men their looks can attain. this is just a theory but it holds water in LA. And of course there are always exceptions. For example I am ugly as sin, and my wife is the breadwinner, so in that sense you are right Cyst, this ugly guy did hook up with a looker and on her dime too.

Eh, I dunno. I get treated like a total hottie, and I'm just not. I mean, I think maybe guys who favor hooters might dismiss me on gigabooty chunky unfeminine grounds, but all the men I've ever found to be worth talking to have been happy to both talk to and objectify me. And blow of vapid barbie dolls to do it. If Gee's guy izza kinda guy Gee should be with, then her picture as interpreted by us ain't gonna mean shit. If Gee's guy izzn't that kinda guy, well that sucks. And short term the suckage will be intense. But, yah know... Gee, don't fucking go up to him all "ummm, I like you...," it bespeaks of supplication, and you don't wanna be a supplicant. Go up to him and be all "man, I've been trying to put you outta my head and not be an 8th grader passing notes and shit, but it ain't happening..." and then pass him a note that says "i _so_ dig you. see the blair with project with me." and sign your name with the circular parts shaped like flowers or something. Capture his imagination. Even if he doesn't dig you on the same plane, he will get warm fuzzies about it for years.

one time in high school I went out with a chick friend and we went to a grocery store to get the paper for movie listings, and apparently some guy saw us and followed us out of the store and about 20 miles down I-5. we saw a movie and then returned to the car. I found a note from this guy, who said something like, "I saw you in fred meyer's and thought you were a knockout. I'm a tall, handsome, successful architect and love romantic picnics so call me." so anyway, I took the note and laughed about how stupid but nice real grownups are. and then my friend said, "but how do you know it's for you?" it hadn't even crossed my mind that it could have been for her instead of me, but I reread the note and it did not specify either one of us. the only answer I could think of was, "because I'm prettier than you are (and besides, I have a really cute outfit on)," but I didn't say that. instead I told her that she could call the guy if she wanted to because I wasn't going to. (but later I thought about it some more and decided that it really was for me because I had driven and he had left the note on the driver's side of the car. moral of the story: guys like the pretty chicks better.)

I keep hoping that someday someone will like me for my personality, though. one day last summer after a strange man gave me $60 and his business card because I was having problems with a teller in a bank, I went to a bakery and the very cute boy behind the counter spoke spanish to me and we talked about chiapas. then he asked me out. later on, maybe just after I discovered that when I'm wearing my favorite linen tank top a guy can kiss my tits without my taking it off, I asked him if he asked me out because of our mutual concern about the mexican government's treatment of campesinos. and he said no, because I thought you were hot. it's so lame that that is the way the world works, but what the fuck ever, I didn't make this shit up. it's out there, just look.

margret - you get treated like a total hottie because you are a total hottie. it's not that terrible a reality to have to deal with, is it? guys first like you for your looks, then they keep on liking you because of everything else.

best reponse yet and margret if that that distorted picture on your web page is a loose representation, do not deny yourself a "hottie". So combined with your wit and pencil sharp intelligence it's no surprise. by the way what happened to that page. Any updates? cyst, i do think looks are an initial indicator to attraction, I also believe in the powers of phermones, so naturally we have to start somewhere and looks are the most obvious place to start. Once physical attraction is established, then mental attraction must follow, otheriwse it's doomed as I am sure you know. would it have mattered if he took a break from his work, and you chatted for 5-10 minutes and then he asked you out. Then maybe he would have replied you are a hottie and you charmed me in those 5-10 minutes. He had to start somewhere yes?

cyst any new pics from Paris? I swear to god, everytime I take my lunch time walk down the tourist infested Hollywood Blvd, I expect to see you, with your camera in tow....I don't know why, it just seems so natural I guess

Cyst: I am 20# overweight by my own reckoning, and momma am I willing to cut myself slack. By boytoy standards that actually puts me at 30# overweight, and we all know that there are beauty standard victims out there, boys-n-girls. I am a total hottie, but I would not be picked out of a line-up of so-so to hot girls as "the one to WATCH." My lethal weapon's my mind. And, you know, I like the cars, the cars that go boom, and I like the kind of boys who like the cars that go boom. Win-win sitchiation, but what I was saying was a picture ain't telling you shit about the boy or his expectations or the kinda gals he digs on, because there are very different tastes in this notion of "pretty." Man, everybody likes the beautiful people, but on a strictly physical level I would knock Keanu Reeves flat on his pretty-skinny as to get beside Ahmet Zappa, or Willem Dafoe, or my future husband Jack Black. Because what I think is pretty is, umm, well...a little on the different side. I will take well toned calves over broad shoulders. I will take huge feet over a good haircut. I will take chest fur of a certain texture over rippling abs. And that's if I had my choice straight up all other things being equal. So, what I was saying is, it depends on who you're talking about, what qualifies as pretty. Not the subject, but the subject of the subject. Man, Gee could be all fucking Geena Davis and Angela Bassett's love child but if this guy is into a certain shape of ass, if that's what really fires his imagination, and she got it or ain't got it, why...your sense of her beauty won't mean shit.

the funny thing about the bakery kid was that as soon as I walked in, I thought, "I really wish this adorable boy behind the counter would ask me out." and he did. that was completely random. so, anyway, the game is so ridiculous. fuck, here we are talking about indian massacres, and all I'm really thinking is how I would love to run my hands through his hair and apparently all he is thinking is how much he would like to fuck me (or, what was it, "you have magnificent breasts" and "it would be really sublime to go down on you"). I kind of like the personal ads idea. so when you go looking for a mate, you can sit down with a stack of applications instead of going through this in-person oh-you're-so-smart-and-interesting-so-let's-sit-on-your-roommate's-couch-and-watch-pornos-and-smoke-pot-sometime routine. (waffles - you didn't miss much in the twentysomething dating game, you know that, right?)

yeah my wife has a twisted sense of attractiveness too, she digs the likes of Joey Ramone, Iggy Pop, David Bowie. She likes stark features, long hands, broad shoulders, skinny flat asses, long legs. That sume me up so Iguess she got what she wanted, but to me any of those guys would not sit well on my palate if I were a girl, well probably Iggy, but Joey and Bowie?....yow!

Bowie -- yes...sort of. Iggy? -- please. yes. thank you sir, may I have another? Joey -- if I was drunk.

I've taken lots of photos in paris (though now I'm in the hague and recently completed my nightly getting-stoned-with-my-favorite-aunt ritual). I sent some to the guy who maintains my photo site, and he says he's waiting to get some fancy scanner before he adds a couple of them. I now also have photos from andalucia, gibraltar and morocco. I haven't yet decided whether to pay for processing here in europe. I'm sure you'll have no trouble believing me when I say that I will alert sorabji readers as soon as I add any photos to the site. thank you for being nice to me.

yes, I see my friends and I know this. Sometimes when I am out with the fellas and she is out of town or whatever, I pretend I am single (though the ring gives me away but in LA that is an asset), just to see what it is like. I have been with her since I was 19 so I never did the bar thing. Anyway, recently me and a budddy were at a new bar in the hood and we were having a similar conversation about dating and such. We noticed these two girls sitting across the way on a hard fireplace and we were in a jazzy big assed booth. So i decided, lets play a game. (Iwas explaining that I could never walk up to a girl and start a random conversation without having a flawless and plausable lead in otherwise I would feel ike a complete DICK)My friend suggested we buy them drinks and see what happens. Soz I sez to the waitress "fix them up with whatever they are drinking", SHe replies "Oh they are drinking pricey drinks" and I am thinking they are blowing their commercial residuals on the house 40 year port but know they are drinking absolute and Makers Mark. pshht I say, "Get em their drinks" Anyway, since my single friend was the ultimate benefactor, I suggested after 10-15 minutes he go say hi, and he did and told them we had a big cushy booth if they would like to sit down. They walked out later without ever saying thanks or even to say high. To me thats fucking ungrateful, if someone bought me a drink I would at least speak with them. Speaking does not = fuck me now. And by looking at them and looking at who I married, surely they didn't find me or him ugly (waffleboy self portraits posted soon http://members.tripod.com/accustat). Eitherway, YES Cyst, I know I am not missing a thing, and I empathize.

sorry typing fast, mispelling sucks, getting ready to duke it out with the hollywood freeway,

I was going to stay out of this. Firstly, and on a more serious note, Cyst, there is no way, no how, on no scale, that you are overweight. The only women who look as thin as you seem to think you should look are anorexic and heavily airbrushed. Now, about Cyst's Complaint: Cyst, if you really want men to take you seriously as something other than a sex object, then perhaps you should reconsider your presentation. If the number of semi-nude photos of yourself that you post here and on your homepage is any indication of the way you present yourself in real.life, maybe you should consider shifting the emphasis a bit. *Ouch* I just know I'm gonna get flamed for that. Now, About Cyst's Advice: Whether or not your presentation is the cause of it, your experience (i.e. finding primarily men who are more interested in your appearance) is certainly coloring your outlook. Not all men are so shallow that they would never consider going out with someone who did not look like a supermodel. Not all men are even attracted to thin women. (I, myself, having been gifted by the powers that be with the best of both worlds, favor women who are average or slightly above average weight for American women) Even if standards of beauty were universally observed and Gee did not fit them (We've never seen a picture of her, so we don't know, but it's hardly important anyway) it is not a good idea for a woman who does not conform to conventional standards of beauty to become unwilling to put herself forward and seek out dates. A woman who is less likely to be approached based on appearance alone is going to have to make the moves herself if she wants to get some. Now, for my advice: Whether or not Gee is "attractive" by Cyst's standards, my advice is ask him out in a polite and/or clever fashion. Even if he says no, you can move on. Men have been dealing with rejection for centuries, and they are not nearly as good at absorbing emotional traumas (proven) as we are. Anyway, a guy who doesn't at least give you a chance when you have the balls to ask him out has no sense of adventure. And that pickup line that (who posted that? With the clever note? I can't recall) posted was really smooth. I say go for it.

friendly advice to all the women: do your kegels.

Men should do their kegels too. It makes everything much more fun...

Margret I dig your idea but I just can't do that type of thing. When it comes to being honest about how I feel I'm a freak of nervousness, so the only way for me to do it is just be blunt. And aside from leaning over to lick his ear while he drove me home, I could only tell him very plainly that I liked him. I'm also not sure what "supplication" means. Maybe I should have mentioned before hand that I pretty much had my mind made up before I asked anyone for their opinion. It's not really optional. If I really like someone and I suspect he kinda likes me in that same sorta way, at some point or other I Have to tell him. I'm no good with keeping those things inside. So he comes into work to see me this afternoon, and right away I start petting his back. I'm being subtle and satisfying my intense need to touch his glorious back all at once. My boss starts yelling at me for talking to him too much, so I tell him to come back. come back at 5, I say, so you can drive me home. He says he'll try. I don't hold my breath. After he leaves almost Every Single One of my co-workers starts teasing me about him and calling me a flirt. one girl tried to convince me he'd gotten hard while I was rubbing his pretty little back. teehee. I wish. Anyway, he does come back at 5, and he drives me home. I like being around him and he smells good, so I start screwing with him about where I live. I tell him to go the wrong way and just lie every single time he asks me "do I turn here?". Of course, it doesn't take too long before he figures out that I'm being less than honest. All the while I'm rubbing his stubble, scratching the back of his neck, putting my hand up the sleeve of his shirt and just leaving it there, etc. How could I be so shameless? So we get (to my) home and I'm telling him that I'm gonna keep his Tweety Bird air freshner, and he says he wants it back. "You can have me." he says. "Okay!!" I say, clutching his arm. "Where are you going to keep me?" he says. "I'll keep you in a mason jar in my basement and let you out at night to sleep at the foot of my bed. And if you're a really good boy, I'll rub your belly." I say. "Okay." says he. "Go ahead." "Okay!!" so I start rubbing his belly. It's a nice belly. I'm so tempted to rub under the shirt, but his seatbelt is in the way. "You're so weird." I tell him. "Why?? Because I let you do this to me?" he asks. "No! Because you never ask WHY I do this to you!" me. "I don't care! (laughtwitter) I don't mind. I like it." he goes. "Why do you do it?" "Why do you think I do it?" duuuuh. "I have no clue. I just thought you had weird habits." uh, okay. "Why do you do it?" He has very pretty eyes. They're like a pale kind of crystal blue. Most of the time when I look at peoples eyes I can't really tell what color they are, but there's no mistaking the blueness of his eyes. So I'm nervous as all heck, but he's giving me a very serious look with his pretty blue eyes and I suspect he already knows what I'm gonna say, even though he denies it, so I just tell him: "Because I like you." he goes: "Seriously??" "Yeah." I say. "That's nice." ouch. Sting. So I smile and nod and agree that it's nice and I stop rubbing his stomach and give him his arm back cuz, even though that wasn't a generic meaningless "that's nice" and it sounded genuine...like he really did think it was nice...it still sounded to me like rejection. So I'm getting ready to get out of the car, trying not to make him feel uncomfterble, and he says: "So how am I gonna see you again after this?" "I dunno." That would have been a great time to say something meaningful. "Do you wanna go out sometime?" woohoooo! So I gave him my phone number (took him long enough), tell him how thick he was for not realizing my affection when everyone else did (I tell him everyone at work knew and he goes "No one tells me anything!!". He used to work there too.), and we make plans for him to come see me at work on friday at which point I will etch in stone the date upon which he takes me off to paris. I could still smell him for a couple hours after I left him. heehee. I love telling this story. I've done it a few times now. So anyway, there. Thanks for giving me your respective opinions, and I like some of the suggestions, but in the end I had to do it my way, or not at all. And "not at all" was not an option. Someday I'll tell this story to our grandchildren. Well....MY grandchildren. Did I mention that he's about four years younger than me? This is the first time I've ever gone for a younger guy. Every other guy I've ever gone with has been at least 5 year older than me. Of course they've all turned out pretty bad, so maybe I need a guy I can break in myself before they turn bad. Okay, I'm done talking now.

Sigh... That's a great story, Gee. I envy you. And him. And everyone else who fell in infatuation or love today. And yesterday. And tomorrow. Sigh...

gee - wow. that was like the end of a jane austin novel. good for you. please tell us how things go if you feel like it. lucy - the lightly clad photo thing is a phase I am going through. I keep waiting to feel deeply embarrassed and regret putting those photos on the web, but it hasn't happened yet. I think it might have something to do with my being in europe, where women go braless and wear shirts so sheer that you can see not only the shape of their nipples but their areolae. and every evening outfit requires thong underwear. where people change into their soccer clothes right there on the field. there seems to be no shame about the human body here. I like self-portraiture because when I take the photos I have a profound sympathy for the subject, you know? in these photos I'm not wearing much (I'm more interested in documenting the color of my skin rather than these jeans I've been wearing every other day for a year), but in real life, I go out fully dressed, about 6'4 in my lumberjack boots, usually with baggy men's clothes, uncombed hair and an unpainted face. not exactly the ideal female sex object. the self-portrait thing is completely new. some of my american friends (prudes!) have written me and said, "oh, um, interesting self-portraits." or "why did you put those photos up? are you feeling ok?" my personal conduct with strangers is definitely more ice princess than sex kitten, but I guess it works.

it's been my experience (in my dating daze), guys love being pursued. Infact, in the case that they weren't interested, they're usually so flattered to be the pursuee for a change, even being rejected ain't so bad. It's very hard to be cruel, rude or even unpleasant to someone who's making you feel good about yourself. Unless he's a huge asshole. In that case you find he is instantly and you're better off. Try it, I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised. What's the worse that can happen?

Oh, that is great. I wonder if this poor guy knows that all of us will be chronicling your whole relationship. Do we get to name the first born? ; ) I find it hilarious that he thought you wanted to rub his belly because you like rubbing bellys, not him. Duh. I'm still chuckling.

cyst......I can always pick the european tourist out around here, like you said, they are usually wearing extremely short clothing or shorts and they rearely wear a bra and rarely do they wear underwear, and often they drop something, and often I am a lucky sailor, do not let anyone shame you for your pictures, your body or anything else. I am rather an exhibitionist and narcissist myself, though no one here has seen them, i have a LOT of self portraits, clothed and unclothed, it doesn't matter, if it makes you feel sexy, happy content, sympathetic (I experience all of them) or whatever, at least it was you and no one else.....I wanna a belly rub

furthermore cyst............ I find it a shame when people are made to feel bad about their flesh, I have found recently that alot of the shame put on me as a child has resurfaced, most if has found a positive outlet in my photography but i still have hang ups at times. I was shunned early as a pervert by the neighborhood soccer moms because i was caught playing the "show me yours I will show you mine" game with a neighborhood girl, we were both around 6-7 years old. We weren't touching, we were just curious. Unfortunately this girl was deaf and I was one of her few friends, and when her mom came out at the worst time, she sdaw what was going on and assumed I was manipulating her (oh yeah a 6 year old is such a manipulative being) into pulling her pants down. THen the phone calls started to all the other soccer mom's in the neighborhood including my own. I was to never play with her again. I have a faint recollection now of always walking by her house and seeing her by herself looking miserable, and alone. Nevermind she was deaf but now, none of the boys wanted to play with her and the few other girls inthe neighborhood didn't seem to care. In my mind we weren't doing anything wrong, we were curious kids, I am sure many kids world over have been thru this sort of thing, I just got caught, and instead of being dealt with in a rational, healthy manner, I was shunned by the mostly protestant, sexually uptight and uneducated adult crowd. I was peered at by other girls' mothers. When I had a neighborhood girlfriend we had to keep it secret and when her mom did find out we were hanging out together, her mom always checked her every night to see if I had been fooling around. (sidenote-my brother got taken to court by this old battle axe because he was joking around with the older kids in the street and asked the fatal question "is there a fool moon out?" and proceeded to show his ass to the other fellas...they all giggled but my girlfriend saw it and blabbed and her mom tried to get him for indecent exposeure, she failed and the judge laughed at her) anyway, sorry, do I have issues? yes, let me reiterate, Cyst, your flesh is you, it is yours, divulge to those willing, those in Sorabji land have come to know your personality and like you, your flesh is a bonus and those who don't know you for your mind, but only your flesh, I am sure will be captivated by your flesh, and (judging by your words I have read here I know you are strong woman) command repsect and attention with conversation. so don't get down thinking guys only view you as an object, give it some time,

Waffles..what a awfull thing to have to go through,I know you are from the south,and I know how those people get their tits tangled,I miss it like a sore asshole.Gee.. looks like this Friday will be the time to get on that horse and Ride(hehe),hope it,s a good ride ponygirl,and ride it more than once.Your sick, hungover friend,J.

your tops J, I still wanna git drunk with you, I have your personality pegged and I have no doubts you are a barrel of monkeys, should you ever come to LA, my wife and I will be sure to show you a good time,

It,s on big guy and same to you.If you and your wife ever come to Arizona,we have to hook up!I always have Corona,I buy a quarter# of pot at a time(so not to worry)and my meds,and I know where all the trouble is.I haven,t been to L.A. in about 4 years,I love it there.

are you by chance married to a pharmacist?

Ha!Ha!Don,t I wish!!Did you ever see the show Fridays?They did a skit all the time of this pharmacist that was all drugged out and paranoid,the guy that did him was a scream,really funny,that was a great show.My husband is an engineer.

darn, and no I have not seen that program

Cyst- I am not puritanical. I am not anti-sex. I do not think that there is any problem with you posting nude or semi-nude photos of yourself here or anywhere people are of age. I don't think that you should be ashamed of your body. However, if you go out of your way to draw attention to your body, people will pay attention to it, and men will often pay attention to little else. I was merely commenting that, if this attitude is typical of your real life presentation, your actions may not be in keeping with your goals. I was not even going to mention it, but then I remembered how much energy you devote to commenting on your designer clothing, and the thing that convinced me that it might be an issue in your presentation of yourself was the comment on one of the bikini photos "this should be an illustration for the dictionary definition of the word 'statuesque'" or something like that. I don't remember the exact words. (never mind the fact that "statuesque" is generally used to refer to a heavier woman with a nice shape, not that your shape isn't nice, but it's not statuesque, it's willowy) Your comments on this thread indicated somebody who was having difficulty presenting herself in a manner which allows her to be taken seriously. I was offering my advice as a woman who has to be seen for her mind, as I am certainly not going to get any action based on the meatmobile alone. I have to present myself in such a manner as to draw attention to other aspects of my character.

Now I'm curious, what meds. I ask because I've seen other prescription drugs mentioned on these posts. What is your favorite?

waffleboy - you are very sweet. someday you will email me a self-portrait. lucy - I always thought "statuesque" was a euphemism for "too tall." I didn't think I had brought up any personal weight issues here, as I am old enough to realize that complaining about one's weight is unproductive, depressing and annoying to others. (and, a minor stupid side point, I don't buy designer clothing. this year I have been designing my own clothes because they're not mass produced for people like me. and I love textiles and beautiful garments the way some people love old cars or train sets or fiestaware.) I like to take the "looks matter" side of the argument on heavy rotation (partly my fault, I'm sure) here at sorabji. because it's both unpopular and very often true. I wouldn't seem as preoccupied with it if others were saying similar things. for instance, a lot of people here bring up the point that different people have different standards of beauty. of course this is true. but, if you think about it, the commonalities are much more striking than the differences. I mean, considering how different we all are blah blah blah, it's amazing how many people consider, say, the young kathleen turner attractive. if you surveyed a whole bunch of straight american men of all ages, income levels, races, ethnicities, regions, occupations, etc., and asked them who they'd rather get naked in a hot tub with, "body heat"-era kathleen turner or janet reno, don't you think over 99 percent of the men would choose the babe over the hag? wouldn't that sort of result suggest that there really are certain norms for beauty? (I don't find janet reno especially unattractive, but apparently the rest of the country seems to think so, judging from the number of bad jokes her name gets mentioned in. at worst, she's plain. so what?) but you already know what I think, and it isn't important anyway.

as I said Cyst, some of those photos will be up on my page in a matter of a few days, you and everyone else will know,

I was the one who said I was overweight, Lucy. I don't think the nubile Kathleen Turner/Janet Reno argument is valid. Call it more Claire Danes with 10 extra lbs. on her vs., say, Salma Hayek, or Nancy Kerrigan vs. Tonya Harding or whatever. To say that there are standards of beauty is to give non-information. To suggest that you would be able to extrapolate from the very broad outlines of the distinction between young Kathleen Turner and Janet Reno whether or not Gee's fellah is likely to dig on her is ridiculous unless Gee is at some bell curve extreme one way or the other, and even then you run the risk of being wrong due to mitigating factors. Statuesque means tall and full bosomed and built on the luxury rather than the race car lines. Short women of generous proportions are not statuesque, they are Rubenesque. A synonym of Statuesque is Junoesque. It's not that looks don't matter, it's that you just can't know what will float my boat...maybe at one end of the bell or the other...but probably not.

my cat is Rubenesque

What kind of -esques are men?

bastardesque. salma hayek smokes. cindy crawford is traditionally attractive, but is annoying as hell, has no sensuality, no charisma, and no ass. i'd rather jerk off.

Bad news for you Swine,Selma had liposuction in her ass,there is now less cushion for pushing.

"Selma had lip*suction in her ass." mmm.. that sounds kinda kinky. anyway, there will always be jennifer lopez. i have faith that she would never compromise her booty.

i PRAY she never does .....daily..........boogie chillum

Cyst- Re: Weight: Sorry, my mistake, that was Margaret. I got thrown off b/c it was addressed to you...your name looked like it was at the top of the post b/c Margaret's was above the top of the screen. Re: clothes...I am not condemning you. What I am saying is that, if you focus so much attention on your clothes, it is going to color the way people, particularly men, look at you. Re: "Looks Matter" Of course most men are going to go for a particular look (which, btw, I find repellant...A woman's thighs should be large enough to keep my ears warm...Callista Flockhart is an alien) Does that mean that those of us who do not conform to that look should not even try? That is what is implied by your advice. Or do only the beautiful people deserve nookie?

Hey, I just got it -- Lucifer! It takes me a while, but I catch on eventually.

I would only throw myself at a man if I felt I was pretty fucking hot. (I do not throw myself at men.) because if you're a hottie by societal norms, the chances of the man responding positively are much greater.

yeah, but not if you just inherently suck.

I thought guys liked girls who Sucked.

We do! Here's an old joke I like. Q. What bird symbolizes peace? A. The Dove Q. What bird symbolizes America? A. The Bald Eagle Q. What bird symbolizes true love? A. The Swallow

....oh don't get of that line of thinking Gee, it's true it's true.......

Cyst and Margaret, what are your URL's?

http://www.peakpeak.com/~mebailey/index.html

http://www.speakeasy.org/~tvc15/cyst

http://www.justhow.co.uk In order to benefit from this service, you need to understand that you will be told the truth about your looks in a brutally frank way which you may never have experienced before. The people judging your photographs are paid to make objective assessments of anonymous people's looks. They do not know you and do not care about your feelings. If you have low self-esteem or are suffering from depression, you should not apply. You should only apply if you are certain that you can accept the truth even if your returned scores are lower than you would have hoped. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of individuals who have asked for an evaluation and are disappointed with the results.

That is such bullshit. I say a person has bad self esteem if they need to log onto a site to be told if they're good looking or not. Who elected these people anyway? Are they from modeling agencies, some people that just decided they know best or what? I've don't fit into the "standard" of the day, but that's never seemed to make a difference in my life. I use my physical and mental attributes...get all the attention I need. I feel beautiful, and that's where it's at. I could hear it now - "Well, you're overwheight, have circles under your eyes, and look like english royalty. (someone made that comment looking at my wedding picture). Ha! Who gives a shit.

i think it's an hilarious idea. i won't, however, be submitting my picture as i can't handle the truth.