If you don't really like yourself, is it possible to love another?


sorabji.com: I need advice: If you don't really like yourself, is it possible to love another?
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Doubting Disease on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 01:27 pm:

    That's it . . . To a certain degree one way or another.


By Lawanda on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 06:01 pm:

    I would guess that would depend on your working definition of love. In a standard relationship, that could fall anywhere between lust to co-dependancy, and a million different combinations.

    If you think you're crud, it comes out in the way you hold yourself, what you say, and of course, in your choices of freindships and lovers. By not liking yourself, you leave yourself open to all sorts of bad stuff. Kinda like a sign that says "Kick Me, I deserve it."

    Not liking yourself is sometimes a temporary thing. Phases of self-doubt, depression. I love my husband, but there are times when I don't like things I've done, and get all mopey, self-depreciating. Then I get over myself, and I realize I'm just another human.


By on Wednesday, August 11, 1999 - 05:06 pm:

    i would also say that you are a kind humane human.


By Albert van der Sploogebucket on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 07:10 pm:


    Just because you don't like yourself does not mean that you cannot be selfless and kind. I suppose that not liking yourself should make it easier to be selfless.

    The idea that, "If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else" probably originated in a film script.


By H on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 07:16 pm:

    . . . or in a Smiths song.


By Nate on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    morrisey rides a cockhorse.


By Nate on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 07:34 pm:

    morrisey rides a cockhorse.


By ApesMa on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 09:45 pm:

    my monkey went to the methadone clinic and rides the bus


By FETIDBEAVER on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 05:44 am:

    Does this mean the monkey is off your back?


By KoKo on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 11:33 am:

    Dont' see him in the mirror any more


By Fake it till you drop on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 11:37 am:

    Has anyone seen the special on KoKo the (gorilla?) that knows sign language and expressed the desire to have a baby of her own? Well, why does it make one feel so sad or is it just me.


By Nate on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 12:44 pm:

    animals can't express desire. that would fuck up our whole society.


By Simon on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 01:09 pm:

    Except deer.


By J on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 01:17 pm:

    Then why did a german shepard start trying to dry hump my leg when I was playing tag football in front of my house with some boys on the block?I ran in the house,so did the dog.I ran out of the house,so did the dog,finally had to climb on top of our storage shed before my Dad chased him away and the jackoffs I was playing with rolling on the ground laughing at me,the bastards!


By Nate on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 01:40 pm:

    all i have to say is that would indicate that animals have some sort of intellect and personality, which would imply a soul, which is just not part of god's plan.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 03:24 pm:

    Actually, St. Thomas Aquinas says animals and plants do have souls, because they have life. What they lack is a spirit, which is why they can't go to heaven. But then, not having a spirit, they don't know there is a heaven nor do they want to go there. So it all works out in the end.


By Nate on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 03:36 pm:

    oh, thanks Rhiannon. i always wondered about that in catechism.

    aquinas also came up with the trinity thing so that catholics could go back to being monotheists.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 04:30 pm:

    Catholics were always monotheists, unless you're talking about the gentile ones in the beginning of the first millenium.

    The trinity thing isn't new -- the Gnostics had it around the same time period, and so do most religions in some form. It's probably not a coincidence, either.

    So, how warm does your cynicism keep you at night, anyway?



By Brrfrrhrr on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 04:32 pm:

    look at the special called KoKo.. She would use sign language and she Did indicate that she would like to have a baby. She chose a mate but nothing happend in the line of procreation. They lived together. at least they had each other for monkey company. . . Her mother was killed in front of her when she was a baby. by white man. who stole this country from "American" Indians, imported slaves. . .God will have His day.


By Nate on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 04:50 pm:

    one man stole this country from the injuns and imported the slaves?

    cynicism is the only way I can keep sane among the herds of the ignorant. all my friends are close and my family is strong. i don't need hand waving and hocus pocus to keep me happy.

    but if you do, that's fine.

    and i was serious about thanking you for that information. i really did wonder about that.


By A spectator on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 06:02 pm:

    No, not one man.
    The BEST adventure and true at that, is the Lewis and Clark Expedition that was shown on PBS. The Best in real entertainment and history.
    AT one point during the Trip, (can't remember which tribe) Indians almost initiated a plan to slit the 32 throats of the sleeping white men of the Corps of Discovery Expedition (1805). They would have gained all of their supplies, ammunition, boats and this "United States" territory. One important Indian woman, the eldest, so they respected her intervention, turned history around.
    Here are some interesting gleanings from:
    http://www.pbs.org/lewisandclark/related/index.html
    “Lewis & Clark: The Journey of the Corps of Discovery”
    (Only 29$ for the two VHS tapes, I was on the edge of my seat every minute.)
    gleanings from The Corps of Discovery: . . .
    York was Clark’s childhood companion. He was a slave. We know he was big. We know he was very athletic. He was a great dancer. He was devoted to William Clark. He was a great help to the expedition because he was such a curiosity.
    Indians who had seen white men had never seen a black man before,
    On April 7, 1805, the Corps of Discovery left Fort Mandan, where they had spent the previous winter, and headed west. On their maps, the land that Lewis and Clark was headed toward was indicated by a vast, blank space and the word, "Unknown."
    From that point forward, every trail the Corps walked, every corner they rounded, was new. No one had any idea of what was to come, or what to expect.
    Over the course of the expedition, the Corps of Discovery would come into contact with nearly 50
    Native American tribes. Quickly, the captains
    learned how many different definitions there really were for the word “Indian.”
    (and Sacagawea the 14 year old Indian girl guide who accompanied Lewis and Clark and saved the
    lives of the expedition. Only one person died and of natural causes.) some Indians had never seen white nor black skinned humans.



By Nate on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 08:39 pm:

    "No, not one man."

    well, i'm a white man and i certianly had nothing to do with it.


By Cyril vander Skeezix on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 11:05 pm:

    Anybody that points a finger at a race and blames all evils on that race is either stupid or dangerous or both.

    God made us in his image. God is a dumbfuck.


By Markus on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 05:29 pm:

    Of course it was one man.

    Haven't you ever heard of The Man? He's been keeping me down for some time now.


By Waffles on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 06:12 pm:

    "when i say im in luv you bess believe im in luv L.U.V"




By Waffles on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 06:13 pm:

    Lewis and Clark never happened, you have all been shammed by The Man........as Markus said, he has been keeping us all down for quite sometime whether you know it or not.........


By The Man on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 07:13 pm:

    boo


By H on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 08:16 am:

    I thought Jack Albertson was The Man.



    And he's been dead for twenty-something years. You guys must be thinking of someone else.



    Stan Musial?


By on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 12:24 pm:

    Stan Freeberg


By J on Saturday, September 4, 1999 - 04:01 pm:


By Rhiannon on Saturday, September 4, 1999 - 04:06 pm:

    J, how do you find these things?



    I recently came upon a site claiming that Star Wars was the work of the Devil...or something like that...and at the bottom of the page they had a little picture of Jesus walking in '70s street clothes with the crown of thorns on his head, with a rainbow behind him, and it had the words "Jesus is the force!" in the left corner. I wish I could find it again so you could see it! It's unbelievable. I'm using it as wallpaper on my desktop.


By Rhiannon on Saturday, September 4, 1999 - 04:13 pm:


By J on Saturday, September 4, 1999 - 04:24 pm:


By Rhiannon on Saturday, September 4, 1999 - 05:58 pm:

    That cult site is great. I have to tell my brother...he loves anything that knocks Christianity.


By Gee on Sunday, September 5, 1999 - 03:18 am:

    heehee. I remember seeing that Star Wars site a long time ago. It cracked me up! Especially the letters from people who thought the guy was being serious. I'm always amused by the stupidity of others. Especially when they're being stupider than me. Sorry. Stupider than *I*.


By Pot Smokin Draft Dodgin Clintn Lovin Whoremongerin Spawn-O-Lucifer on Sunday, September 5, 1999 - 12:05 pm:

    www.trog.com/jesus is fabulous. I consider myself to be a rabid antitheist, but my feeble rantings pale to nonexistence when compared to the HORRIBLE LASHINGS of this website.

    The best part is the hate mail. The best part is always the hate mail. I like to keep track of how many "god-fearin'" assholes type messages using those archaic "thee"s and "thou"s.

    Fuck'em


By J on Tuesday, September 7, 1999 - 09:12 am:

    I like spank me Jesus.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, September 7, 1999 - 09:43 am:

    The mother of a friend of mine is fond of telling us that Jesus is not a rapist...you have to be willing to let him into your heart. Jesus as a rapist -- kills me every time I hear it.


By Miss Monkey Pants on Tuesday, September 7, 1999 - 11:32 am:

    The Koko specials only indicate that you can teach a monkey sign language but really, monkeys have little of interest to tell us. I hope we all remember 'All Ball', Koko's kitten. Yawn! Koko can only tell us that 'Koko loves kitten' etc. BORING! Maybe this is because Koko never watches the Real World on MTV or goes to museums or reads the paper or thinks about how she's fucked up now because her parents didn't buy her a nintendo when she was a little girl gorilla, but overall - despite us knowing that animals can think - all I've learned is that Koko is one big dull gorilla.


By Quentin Robert DeNameland on Tuesday, September 7, 1999 - 07:09 pm:

    I am also a big,dull gorilla and I drive a Jeep Wrangler. Just like on "Gilligan's Island".

    The only thing I have in common with my primate brethren is that I masturbate every time no one is watching. (never been caught)


By J on Wednesday, September 8, 1999 - 11:38 am:

    At least it,s not a big truck.


By Jeb Stuart McPooter on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 10:32 pm:

    Size isn't everything.


By Cyst on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 12:30 am:

    could someone please start some shit somewhere here on the boards? thank you!


By Gee on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 02:02 am:

    Somebody get Nate.


By Waffles on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 11:59 am:

    being the bitch i am , I am obliged to strap on the gloves, however i see nothing here to go on


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