The other thread was taking way to long to load/so for those who are interested/I will continue w/future updates of The Saga of The Chef at this location.

Markus: I can't get the old page to load completely (it stops after the 1/30 posts)/so pls. repost whatever you said after my last post. Assuming it was directed to me. Swine said: "If you have a penis, it's pretty much a sucker's game." Well, Swine/god tho' you may be/I am really disappointed to hear you express that opinion fo women. And I'm sure Stephanie &/or whomever else you're currently coupling w/wd be a tad bit more than disappointed to read such a remark. If all a woman is good for to you in sticking yr dick into/well, that's yr life. But this is the 1st genuinely interestingly gent I've ment since I started hanging out here at the boards. If you can't at least be happy for *me*/pls. keep yr jaded Swineisms to yrself/so that I may keep my fondness for you intact. However deluded. And I do recall one rambling/heartfelt post from you on the WAYD board after a night of excessive drugging & meaninglgess sex not too long ago. So Come Off It! We've peeped yr hand & we all know that somewhere beneath that's cocksman's bravado/there's a real heart beating w/in you that gets tired of the bullshit sex-for-sport & longs for love as much as the rest of us mere mortals. I am not infatuated w/The Chef. But if it comes to that/I will welcome it. I intend to ride this train to the last stop/come rapture or ruin. Becuz it's nice to come home & find msgs. on my machine & emails from him. Becuz it warms my heart & gives me a sense of value to know there is finally someone in the world who is interested in me/other than my damn cat. Esp. becuz it's someone hasn't sampled the goods yet. And I happen to know that the goods I got are worth waiting for/& not to be handed over to just anybody w/a dick & some rap. If I wanna be a piece of meat/I'll shrinkwrap myself & go lie down in the refrigerator section at Kash & Karry/thank you.

this is bad precedent. let's not bring up others' past rambling/heartfelt posts after nights of excessive drugging and meaningless sex. I'm happy for you. he sounds like fun so far. see what happens. and tell me what you think of julianne moore's haircut in "magnolia."

infatuation rocks on a two-way street.

Haven't seen "Magnolia" yet/c'ept the commericals. The Chef & I are supposed to check it out this weekend. Are you looking for a new 'do', Cyst? How short are you willing to go? (Yr hair was abt 3 in. past yr shoulders in yr famous new undies self-portrait. Which is the only picture I've seen of you.) I say keep it longish/but maybe go for some layering around yr face/if you're up for a change. And don't dare color it! If you're gonna do the "here's-a-picutre-make-me-look-like-this" move/make sure you see the movie again & get the hair credits at the end. And be prepared to drive to LA or BH. That fab cut Rene Russo had in "Thomas Crown" has been copied to death. But the only chicks I've seen who really got The Look spent Beverly Hills type $$ to get it. The average hairdresser can't replicate those movie star cuts.

I already took a magnolia photo to the hairdresser. she apparently was unable to replicate the look, but I'm ok with what I got. there are zillions of pictures of me on the web.

does this mean that you won't be forwarding me his e-mail address?

Swine,I wouldn,t count on it.

too bad. check this out. this is my favorite part: By Nate on Friday, January 28, 2000 - 10:23 am: "Natorious/for real -- if you met some cutie at a bar (& I did pay for my own drinks last nite/except for the shots/which happened before Marcus arrived)/got her digits/took her out on a date then found out she had no job/wdn't you wdn't lose her # ASAP?" hell no. what does someone's income have to do with anything? so long as she gives great head, she can do whatever she wants. By R.C. on Saturday, January 29, 2000 - 12:38 am: Oh & thanks Nate... for all yr positive reinforcement. S'nice to know that there are still cool dudes out there who won't hold a slight bit of unemployment against girl. *big kiss!* ************************* nate's a "cool dude" for valuing a good blow job over anything else. i say some shit about superficial courting practices and all of a sudden i'm a misogynist. go figure. and by the way, i keep my cocksman's bravado in my pants.

thank you

RC: my posts on the other thread were useless rambling, not directed to you. You didn't miss anything.

Swine/if you can't tell when someone's making a joke/you've really lost yr touch. I may say Nate wd accept a blowjob from a perfect stranger. Nate may say the same. But everyone knows we're both bullshitting. And my post in that regard certainly didn't imply that I thought men were 'cool' for being so willing to get their chrome polished by any pr. of available lips. If you lok back/I wasn't even the one who raised the question -- I think it was Gee. Sad fact is/I know that most guys wdn't turn it down. Becuz they don't even consider getting head a sexual act. To them/it's like...blowing their nose/or something.

or beating off.

which is basically all that's happening around here right now. quit jerking yourself off and smell your own stool.

Eat Hot Fuck, Porky Pig!

That's way better than just plain "Eat Hot Fuck". I have just been informed I am the only guy in my group of old, tight-knit friends that is single right now. I knew I should have insisted on that compact back in high school that whoever was the last to stay single (ie, unmarried at any point) was to be paid a thousand dollars from everyone who had gotten married. I can't believe how many people I am living vicariously through right now.

Do you mean you're living vicariously through your tight knit friends or this board or both? I'm the last single one of my friends, and I love their kids and everything, but I'm glad when the evening's over and I can go home by myself and not have to worry about having to deal with kids etc.

"And my post in that regard certainly didn't imply that I thought men were 'cool' for being so willing to get their chrome polished by any pr. of available lips. " God. Now I need my chrome polished. Thanks for that, R.C.!

Both. althoug I thank my lucky stars everytime my one friend tells me about going bankrupt from the divorce (she kept his dog and left him all the bills), and then my other friend tells me about probably moving out to Mass. so he can be near his son, and then Skooter tells me about some shit he's going through with his offspring, and so on. Forget that stuff. I'm listening to this awesome track by DJ Shortee on the latest CMJ disc, called "Sound Wars". Pretty cool.

So... I was due to meet The Chef today at his house @ 1p.m. He gave me a wake-up call at 11a.m. to give me directions. (I had advised him previously that I do not arise before 11:00 save for natural disasters or job interviews.) I figured w/the lunchtime traffic/it wd take me 45 min. to get there/so I left the house at a little after noon. And of course/I got lost. He mentioned that I was supposed to turn onto a street off of Midnight Pass Rd. What he forgot to mention was that there was no street sign at that particular corner. I guess feminine intuition was supposed to tell me the correct name of this nameless road. So I called him on my cellphone/described my surroundings/doubled back/found the right street & finally made it there @ 1:30p.m. The house is off a narrow, unpaved road leading to the shoreline beyond Siesta Beach. So I'm bumping along this road/hoping my car doesn't get stuck in a sand dune or some shit & looking for "a big white house". The 1st structure I come to looks like an unused stable. But there are no horses to pet or people to confer w/as to my ultimate destination/so I drive on. Then I pass a thick area of vegetation & have to stop/becuz I'm at a big wrought-iron gate. I'm abt to get out & look for an intercom box or something when the gate opens. Kinda eerie/but I figure there must be a camera somewhere up in the trees or whatever. Then I drive abt another 1/4 mile thru more brush & sand/until I come across the most gorgeous piece of architecture I've even laid eyes on... And there he is/standing in doorway. Smiling. The house is huge. And white. Blindingly white. I dunno squat abt architecture /but it is in the style of those whitewashed houses you see in Greece/perched on the cliffs overlooking the Agean sea. The ones w/tall, narrow windows w/no screens or glass in them. But these windows are wider & defenitely glassed. But it's fucking amazing! This gleaming, enormous 2-story villa w/ornate wrought iron balconies/the kind that curve out like a pregnant woman's belly. And a roof graden -- I can see the ironwork railing surrounding the roof & a couple of palm trees & other tall plants peeking over the top of the building. And there's one of those long semi-circular driveways. And I pull up & park my ar as Marcus comes down to greet me. And the first thing he says is "Fab house, huh? Wait'll you see the interior." Long story short/it is one of the most beautiful homes I've ever set foot in. More fabulous even than the richfolks homes at Newport. Better than any shit I've see on A&E or the Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous. It's owned by a rich old Jewish couple. There are lots of picture of the owners scattered around the place. In one picture/I notice ex-Pres. Jimmy Carter! And best of all/the husband & wife are comtemporaries -- he's not some old millionair married to a young trophy wife. His wife looks like she's had a few nips & tucks/but in the pictures/you can tell this is a 50+ woman & that she has spent most of her 50+ years married to this hideous-looking man (think of Walter Matthau's younger-but-just-as-ugly brother.) And loving him very much/from the way they look in most of those pictures. And the 2 Pomerians were reasonably friendly. They gave w/the olfactory once-over & followed us around the house for a while. Until Marcus fed them & they went to sit out on the veranda. Marcus tells me the owners have a married daughter living in Hong Kong/which is where they've been since Dec. They spend a month there every year/but this year/the daughter was having a baby (she bage birth to a little boy -- their 1st grandchild -- sometime last month)/so they went to visit for 3 or 4 mos. And there was a son who died in a car accident some years back. Seeing this place answered a lot of questions for me re: why homes doesn't get a place of his own. As Fitzgerald said, "Ther rich are different than you & I". Becuz they live way better than we do! And surprise! Turns out he'd prepared a 3-course lunch for me --proscuitto & melon appetizer (which I love)/coconut shrimp in a mango-tequila sauce (which was absolutely killer!) and a green salad w/arugula & red-leaf lettuce & some other greens whose name I forget w/a simple balsamic-vinegar-&-olive-oil dressing. And french bread/which I passed on (I avoid carbs/except when I slpurge on chocolate dessert-type treats). He admitted to buying the bread from a bakery/but everything else was made w/his own 2 hands. We ate in the breafast nook off the kitchen. And he really is a superb cook. And sets a really pretty table. (At the CIA/the apparently teach you everything abt cooking & serving -- how to fold napkins/various ways to set a table/even how to serve food). We drank a bottle of Pipers w/the meal. (Which I hope be bought himself/instead of copping it from the wine cellar/but I didn't ask.) There was B&J's for desset/but I passed on that. And he confessed to having emailed his sister the nursing student all abt me. (He showed me one of her emails/which was hilarious. She has a crazy sense of humour.) And to the fact that she had advised him that becuz of my age/I wd prolly not be thrilled at the fact that he was "living like a tony squatter" in other people's homes. So he needed to make a point of explaining to me why he was "w/out a proper flat" & the advantages of housesitting for the Jet Set. After touring the house/no explanation was necessary. But he offered one anyway: 1. Rich people have way more gear than the rest of us. And it's always 1st-rate. These folks have a Bang & Olufsen stereo system. Speakers everywhere -- even in the bathroom ceilings. A Sony DVD player. Wide-screen t.v. in the t.v. room. (Which is not to be confused with the living room. Or the library. Or the study.) tose remote-control windows so you can close the blinds w/out getting up. An intercom system that connects to almost every rm. in the house. Every damn entertainment gadget you cd imagine. Plus amazing art -- there were busts & ancient-looking vases & freeform modern sculptures everywhere. Their taste in art runs to modern -- or is it post-modern? I dunno shit abt art either/but I think I saw at least 2 Jackson Pollacks -- those big drip-paintings he was famous for. (Is he dead yet?) Nobody else does those/right? 2. Rich people's kitchens are fully-equipped w/everything a chef needs. There was an industrial-sized refrigerator big enuf to walk into & cop a seat. Plus a seperate deep-freezer. Two ovens. (I asked if they kept a kosher kitchen/but Marcus said they didn't. The double oven was just for convenience.) One of those big gas ranges w/8 burners (I've never seen one w/more than 6) & the overhead exhaust thingee/plus a grill on the side. And a wood-burning pizza oven to boot! Plus more counterspace than you wd dare to dream of. And every possible type of cooking utensil or kitchen gadget you cd possibly want. A chef's paradise/ for sure. 3. When rich people like you/they *really* like you. Once they realize you don't want $$ from them/they will welcome you w/open arms. Altho' Marcus admits that his 5-yr plan is to find a single investor that will back him in a restaurant venture & right now/this rich Jewish couple is #1 on his list. But he hasn't talked $$ them yet. They've known him since he was living in NY & doing catering gigs for the smaller parties at the Plaza. They kept in touch w/him while he was living in Europe & offerd to let him housesit for them soon after he moved to Sarasota. He's been sitting for them off-&-on since he moved here/but this has been his longest stay. And they didn't put him up in the maid's quarters -- he's in a guest bedroom that's bigger than my living room & dining room combined! With a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. A monstrously big bed w/a Mexican-style carved wood headboard. Private bathroom w/a jacuzzi. I'ts really to-die-for. Even the sheets were incredibly luxe. (No, I didn't sample them 1st hand. We were only in there long enuf for him to fire up his laptop & show me his sister's email.) But the 1st thing I noticed abt his room was that it was filled w/pictures. His pictures. Big collages mounted on oaktag or posterboard or something. Small ones framed in carved-wood or chrome. Loose ones stuck into the edge of mirrors. Of his sibilings & his Mom & Dad from when he was a kid. (His family are all quite good-looking. Just not very tall.) Pictures of his sister's h.s. graduation. His Mom's college graduation. (She went back to get her degree & became a teacher after their father died. He owned a scooter-rental business company in Barbados & a few small rental properties/so Marcus said.) Pictures from various birthday parties. A zillion photos of him & his boy Gary from NY (they met at the CIA) & all over Europe. Silly cards from his siblings. The guy is ovbiously big on family. So/we spent a very pleasant & highly infomrative afternoon together. And I no longer have issues abt his living arrangements. He lives far better than I do/& he isn't sure how long he plans to stay in Sarasota. Says he really needs to spend some time in Miami/where the restaurant scene is really hot/so he can learn pan-Asian & other fusion cuisines. And like all ambitious chefs/he wants to own a restaurant in NYC someday. But again/he hates the cold. So he figures he'll start w/something in FL/prolly Miami or West Palm beach/build a rep for himself/then break into the NYC market when he's "fat & famous like Emeril". It was good to have my fears abt his being a slick vagrant put to rest. But I also know that it wd be suicide for me to get emotionally entangled w/him. He's too liable to pack up & head off to anywhere that presents a opportunity to expand his cooking skills. Which is precisely what I'd be abt if I were his age & in his situation.(I didn't tell him all that of course. But if things progress btwn us/I shall.) Well/so much for the nascent grand romance. Altho' he did snuggle up behind me while I was gazing off at the Gulf from the main portico (complete w/a hugh, heated swimming pool) & kiss me on the neck. (Only once/thank god/becuz that is definitely one of my hot spots!). And the mechanic called @ 4:30 to say his car was ready. So I drove him to the shop & he picked up his car & we went our seperate ways. After making plans to get together this weekend. And he did kiss me/briefly/on the lips thru the car window before I drove off. Which was nice. So it was a wonderful afternoon. And I'm looking forward to seeing him again. And spending more time w/him at that fab house!

R.C. - Don't you like NYC? Couldn't you jet off to NYC with him should things, get friendlier? I mean if I met someone here in D.C., and fell in love... I could move just about anywhere with him. I know my family is all here, but damn. I crave togetherness more than anything right now. But that effort will probably be years in the making. Take for instance the guy I met last night for a brewski after work. Nice. Charming. Handsome. And, a big dumb jerk. Kept answering his cell phone, checking voice mail, and returning phone calls. Then he says, "you're a bottom aren't you? cause I am too, so I guess this is pretty pointless." Such class. R.C., this guy sounds like a winner. If anyone did that "come up from behind/snugggle, and kiss on the neck thing" to me, I'd have melted right there and probably fainted.

Jim: Forgive my ignorance, but how does one become a bottom or a top? Just personal preference? Does one ever switch?

Dougie, for the most part, it's a personal preferance. I've done both, but I find no pleasure in being a top. Does nothing for me. I know quite a few guys that are versatile, and I don't have a problem with that. Thank god for them. Cause there sure are NOT enough tops to go around.

But how cd that guy tell just from looking at you that you were a bottom? And what made him think you wanted to have sex w/him anyway? Did you slap him? Or is that not allowed in gay circles? Who knew gay men were such jerks? If they're gonna behave like that/they might as well be straight & avoid the ostracism. Ooooohh, that guy makes me so mad! But don't give up PJ. Cuz' you see/even I finally found someone worthwhile. Out of the blue. (Alto' Agatha did say once before that he'd show up when I least expected it...) (Thanks, Agatha :)

C'mon R.C., they may be gay but they're still MEN. I would expect the same percentage of jerks among gay men as among straight men. Although among the gay men I knew, I would hardly describe any of them as jerks. One was a complete motherfucker (unclefucker?) though, and a few were just genereal pricks, but I though most were pretty level fellows.

Maybe I'm Gay Deprived -- I've only known a handful of gay males in my lifetime. One was a catty bitch. But the others were so sweet (no dig intended) & charming & funny. I thought all that stuff came w/the gay gene or whatever.

of course slapping is allowed with gay men. haven't you ever heard of a bitch slap? rc, your welcome.

R.C. You just kind of know, the top/bottom thing. It's part of our Gaydar. And yes, he was a jerk. Gay men are all about sex. I'm not saying I'm against sex, but the tenderness is something I crave. Agatha - ROFL. I've bitchslapped a few in my day. P.S. RC- I GOT TO THE BOARDS FROM HOME!

Good for you. I'm at the 'rents hse. now using their computer. But generally/the forces of cosmic confluence have allowed to me access the boards from early a.m. up until evening. After dark however/I have no luck.

Hmmm... Ya know, R.C., you may have a point there. When's your next date with The Chef?

R.C. try www.freei.net

I'm sick of trying those so-called 'free' ISP's. Either they ask for a credit card # up front (which I refuse to give since it's suppsoed to be free) or their software doesn't work. They're all a royal pain in teh ass. When someone comes up w/a free ISP that uses MSIE or Netscape/then I'll bite. Otherwise/I'll just have to post as much as I can whenever I can get into the boards.

I,m going to try it so I can still have my webtv.

people: pay attention. i must inform you that i have just swallowed my entire ass.

Don't make jokes man, I'm still tryin' to clean the shit from under my finger nails (I had to pick my head out of my arse) just shut up and don't ruin the ride for me and my hermaphroditic math tutor.

I,d pay good money to see a guy swallow his ass,maybe we can hook you up with Jim Rose.

too late, someone already did hooked up and fixed up

hmmm. no post from RC since Feb. 7.

I think R. C. was slowly phasing this guy out, but she's the only one who can say.

Maybe the chef is keeping her busy,it,s pjboy I,m worried about,I remember he said that guy was going to come back in March,how do we know if Jimbos o.k.? I,m going to search the threads and find his e-mail address.

No -- MArkus & I are still hanging tuff. But only in Buddy Mode. We had one hot-&-heavy makeout session on his veranda overlooking the Gulf/which was dreamy. But in terms of where his head is at/the guy's just too young for me... I have PJ's email address at home/but I'n not at home now. And I prolly won't be able to access the boards from home. So J/if you want his address/email me & I can send it to ya.

so that dial-up stuff was a failure? bummer.

jim's fine. i play scrabble with him.

I was just waiting for the weekend,when I knew you would be home,I have been busy looking for that trivia game I want to play with Droopy.When I call please don,t say I have an accent,I worked hard not to have one,it always freaks me out when people say I have one,I read books just to get rid of it.Is there a trivia game that you play with a with someone where you play this scrabble game?I know I found one once.

God even when I first get up I,m still fucked up,that was to Dave and Agatha,I,ll call this weekend,I hope I don,t scare you.