in a new city... what is the easiest way to get out and meet people? if you don't have a car... and the city is in the desert... but you do play a musical insrument, and you are quite charming and witty. okay, okay...the city is Tucson. and you are kymical addiction. any ideas? oh and how do you aquire a valentine in the same situation in les than 3 days? any help would be nice.

Kymical get a bus pass,there is always something going on at the U.of A and the surrounding area.

i guess now that i have gotten a taste of civilization. let me rephrase. where can i go in the Oro Valley to do a lot of stuff? and why is public transportation such a big joke in this part of town?

whaddya doing in Tucson?

sorry forgot to finish. There's usually a fair number of pan handlers at every corner, so I'd try hanging a heart around your neck, strumming your guitar, and getting some sun at the closest intersection tomorrow morning. Some one's bound to take a liking to you. Try out Old Town area south of the U. Go to the Yoga Center and talk to the tall skinny guy in the funny hat or the Cherokee woman in the chair. There's a used musical instrument store within her art gallery there. You don't need to be a yogi to get admitted, but you gotta ask. A great store nearby sells old wood burning stoves. There's not a hellava lot to do in Oro Valley, but hanging out at the St. Philip's Uppity Plaza on the northside has its advantages. Gotta see Bahti Indian Arts if you're there. Tell them hi from the Irish Longhair in St. Louis who buys the Zuni fetishes from them. Thono Chul used to have a coffee house. Go to the fancy hotel and spa places north of Orange Grove, but you'll probably need a union card to play. If you're visiting, get on down to the San Xavier del Bac Mission at the Indian Rez, eat some fry bread, and pray you'll get your valentine. Take the bus or tram up through Sabino Canyon tomorrow, hike the trail, shed your clothes, you'll find a touristy valentine there no doubt. If you like skiing, get somehow to Mt. Lemmon and fondle your fiddle in the firelight and snow and pine forest more suitable to Canada's topography, and someone might come along. If you want an inexpensive, cheap newly remodeled great room with a pool and gym and hottubmmmm try the Best Western downtown, I think on Stone just south of Speedway. Showers fit at least two. It's safe and great and within a walk to the U. and around the corner on Drachman is the best El Mariachi restaurant in town. But seriously, walking along the private ridges off Lago del Oro (don't get arrested), driving on up to PTSD Oracle, stopping at Casa Grande on your way back to the airport in Phoenix; sunset or mass at San Xavier, artsy shit in Tubac with (this time of year) hot white chocolate -- these are my favorites. Hope you enjoy one of my favorite towns.

Kymie get the Phoenix New Times,they are free,you can get them anywhere.Daniel have you ever been to the Casa Grande ruins?

but i am not in pheonix, and i don't have a car. more than anything tho i need a job that is within walking distance. right now i start a job today that is by the airport, a half hour drive when i have a car.

Sorry look for the Tuscon Weekly,it,s an alternative newspaper much like the New Times,it,s free and they are everywhere.

Yes J, to Casa Grande several times. I am always amazed at the Hohokam culture's ability to dig with stone hoes a canal system that is mind boggling. When I fly into Sky Harbor and head south, I alway plan enough time to stop, a pilgrimage. I know: there's not much left (museum is small but pretty full of interesting stuff) under roof, which at first I thought detracted from the adobe structure--but the whole reminds me of a space ship. I last visited there with an arist friend who like me fell in love with the light at sundown. It is a good place to watch the sunset and listen for old flute music and drums. Kymmycal: if you're looking for musical work, you might ask for Manny Velez at 106 W. Drachman, 520.791.7793, or fax your vita/desire etc to 520.624.9003. Have no idea if such a contact may pan out or if manny can help you -- since I don't know you and barely know Manny except by introduction. If you are in the therapy or healthcare fields, let me know and I'll give you a couple of friend's addys in the biz out there.

note to self: never give daniel my real name, address, and phone #. note #2: never again use the "note to self" spiel.

question for the day: is daniel real? (Just for the record...I never ever ever give out anyone's name and addy unless they have given me permission). And without a REAL address how can I send chocolates??? PS. I always thought that "Hal" was a shitty name anyway, signed ("Notes to Myself" Hugh Prather, speaking about 2001 A Space Odysessy) In the flesh... Oh shit,is that a rule here: we can't be real people? I forgot. Sorry; I'll try to be less helpful next time.(Signed) Hal's friend Daniel. (Hal to Dan) give it up and go to work. It's useless. (Signed, The Princess)

I have given out one persons address and phone # on the internet but I did it to be evil,it worked too.I was a house parent for deliquent native American teenage boys in Tuscon along time ago,a place called Inter Moutain Youth Center,it,s an art gallery now.I really am a real person,if somebody cut me I,d bleed,no I,m not going to tell you what color my blood is.

daniel, what was that?

of course you can't be real. you have to be a cariacature of one over-focused point of your personality. you must be one dimensional. you must be relentless about portraying yourself this way, while trying to pretend that you don't care. apathy uber alles. you must use the words "fuck" and "puckered lovebucket" at least once a week. you can only give out your own address, but expect to receive someone's worn panties or a tape of Barry Manilow. and never, and i mean NEVER, discuss animal rights. consider this your official initiation. swine's the hazing Master of Ceremonies. good luck and hang in there. it takes time.

Fuck the puckered lovebucket. Nevermind me; just getting the week's quota in early. I'm still waiting for someone to mail me Barry Manilow's worn panties. Not that I care. I'm going off to eat an animal.

hey, maybe I can set you up with my little brother. here are some 25-year-old photos of us. http://msnhomepages.talkcity.com/DownsizeDr/hallter/babypaul.html maybe you'll be as glad to see him as I apparently was.

i really fail miserably at this whole web persona thing, i guess. damn.

well, if you weren't so relentless about portraying yourself as a one-dimensional caricature and actually EXPRESSED your SOUL and SUBSTANCE instead of just treating this place like it was a MESSAGE BOARD, you wouldn't HAVE that problem. god. i just can't take it anymore. somebody hold me.

I should never leave the computer alone when I am getting dressed for work.

never express your soul and substance. it's nobody else's damn business. don't touch me.

aw, c'mon man. can't i just get a little kiss? i'll show ya all three of my dimensions...

Glutemus maximus protectorus: "Hal as a shitty name" above refers to a computer. Such reference is not to Hal the person otherwhere posting on these boards. My apologies for lack of clarity. This one-dimensionality must be hell for schizophrenics, huh?

that's a question only swine can answer. damn, that boy was on a roll today, huh folks?

He sure was but I think I might not care for thinking of my wussy as a puckered lovebucket,it doesn,t matter I guess,I don,t plan to ever go to Alaska.

The question becomes: is sorabji a terminal or iatragenic disease? Remember to wash hands after each keyboard use. I've deleted all of my soul and substance from my hard drive. Now what do I do?

If I knew anything about computers I,d tell you but I don,t,just try to get it back thats your mojo.

your next step (which actually should have been your first step) would be to trash the mindless melodrama. people try to pass that shit off as if it were soul or substance all the time. and by the way, the affliction is definitely iatrogenic. soap and water won't save you now.

some people wouldn't know soul or substance if it came up and sucked their cock.

Try me.

these people are all male?

no thanks. besides, i don't have soul nor substance. i'm the one-dimensional drama queen.

I sold my soul to a Stanford student at one point. I wonder what happened to it?

Second client this morning tells me his limp is from talking to a girl in a bar and getting shot through the knee by a badass on the other side of her who sprayed the place for some unknown reason. Already quite inebriated and leaking substance, he then directly took his sorryass soul to a liquor store, bought another pint of Hennesy, and was deposited by "friends" at the ER. When the nurse said 'no pain killers' because he was stewed, he remembered he lost the girl's name. Says he "a totally wasted night." Now that's mindless melodrama. It seemed so enjoyable. I realize I'm the outsider breaking in on your private world but I keep my mojo in a bag. They let me keep it in my cell at night.

I've never met anyone who didn't have substance. Even if I hated them and they were shallow and arrogant and mean and ugly and unkind and just not interested in the same things as me, I don't know how it's possible for a person to Not have substance. just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Maybe you're just not looking in the right place. I'm nit picking, I guess.

what you consider substantial reveals a hell of a lot about who you are and who you're not. <<some people wouldn't know soul or substance if it came up and sucked their cock.>> what a truly unfortunate choice of words. funny, though.

So, Gee, did you get any flowers yet?

Daniel are you being cruel to my Gee?Why do you keep asking her that?Why don,t you send her some flowers?I don,t even know if she wants any,do you think she does?

it was meant to be twisted. if you don't understand the subtext of the statement, that's equally unfortunate. but really, i just wanted to get a rise out of you. and you know how i know when it works? . . . . .

whoa. Subtext? Twisted? Lost me there, pal. What did I miss? I can't send Gee or anybody else at sorabji anything -- flowers, candy, yellow M&M dispensers, or leaky lithium batteries -- because I don't know where to send them. I have no clue if Gee'd want flowers. Why indeed from me? What reason or right would I have to send her flowers? Hell, I don't have the right to ask her if she got any, but I was trying to be my polite self this morning, had asked with no reply on another board, and, now look at the twisted subtext controversy interjected and confused confabulation such a little thing brings. Get a rise out of who, Sarah? May be I miss the whole point. J, I am not trying to be cruel in any sense, in any context, (and it is increasingly clear I don't know the context) -- if Gee or you or anyone thinks I am being cruel by asking, I am sorry. The sorabji police can come and get me. By the way, if you want to send me flowers, my postal addy is at the website.

I'm J's Gee. has anyone told Rhiannon? Dan, I did answer you elsewhere you asked the question. I believe I deserve flowers (I don't care what anyone says: roses would rock), but why would you ask me such a question? and Sarah was talking to Swine.

Damn. Three days married and you're already cheating. Where's that shotgun?

Okay, so Im a subtextual idiot. Yeah, I get the string here now; Swine, Sarah, yeahyeah not meant for me. Dyssynchronous entries. Gruesome combination, huh? I could begin to like you people. Who's married? To whom? When? Why? My sorabji family tree is missing branches, whole limbs, whole gender identifications. See what happens when I go to work? I answered Gee where she answered me where I asked the original question because of ... never mind. I want to use the words, "self-addressed pipe bomb," in a sentence, but I know the internet police will track me to my cabin. Ah poor Kymical; I've helped to derail the whole conversation. My horrorscope says today I will chenge the situation by entering it, but will have no control over the outcome. As if I ever have any control over the outcome. Hope all of you who want flowers, get flowers. There. Off to the ;looney bin for a lecture on cross addiction. I think I'll put a section there on internet message board soul and substance abuse.

you suck daniel........i can tell you are gonna go down kickin and screamin. might be time to bring out the cage peoples if the wagon doesn't break em in welcome to sorabji....

Rhiannon,your my Rhiannon too,just means I,m down for you all,we females have to stick together.Sorry Daniel,now I see what you meant,of course I didn,t see it like that when I posted that,I thought you were rubbing it in to Gee or something.Again sorry:)

Well, in that case, I'll put the gun down and we can all have lunch together sometime. :) It's always funny when new people come along and try to figure out the ins and outs of this place. Yesterday I was wandering around the message board at http://www.anti-social.com. It's weirder there because there are many more people and they're younger and they seem very...insular, if that's the word I want. Anyway, it was interesting to look at the social interactions on that site and compare it to what goes on over here.

I like us better.

Thank you Patrick. I feel I have arrived.

Oh yeah, lunch on me if anyone ever gets to St. Louis. Chocolates and flowers optional.

Careful I'm only a few hours away and I plan to bring Cletus and Cooter.

So it's a party. Who are/What do Cletus and Cooter eat, and how often? I know all sorabjites eat peanut butter, but I just cooked up some tamari basted garlic salt encrusted almonds that if they don't kill me tonight, will make great bird seed tomorrow. My crows love the garlic but it makes em fly sorta funny. I don't cook like The Chef, but I make a mean cold asparagus and red horseradish sauce. Living well is the best revenge. Lemme know if you amble this way. I hang at Borders on Watson off 44 and 270 every Friday afternoon, holding court over an icy mocha freeze with shot of chocolate mint. The guy in the Grateful Dead yamacha and long hair. You'll know me.

cletus and cooter eat squirrel, which tastes a lot like chicken, only gamier. when cletus gets real drunk, he's very suggestable and will eat pretty much anything if he thinks it'll get him some more "likker". cooter eats scabs and boogers and forcefully extruded ingrown hairs when no one's looking. he also likes an occasional iced mocha and chocolate biscotti so he'll fit right in at the borders cafe

Sounds great! I could go back to antisocial.com and bid on some mildewed bagels and a disfigured melon some literati is auctioning off as a head. We could use Cooter at the hospital now and again.

yeah, we could tattoo that cool hazardous waste symbol around his mouth and put his ass to work. chomp chomp slurp slurp.

Yep, Biohazard emblem is our family crest.

hey sorry I dropped off the face of the net last night: it was just getting fun to discuss food and medical waste. But reality called. I actually had to deal with family matters, my boys, and their coping with their stepdad's critical condition after his lung cancer operations in the last two weeks. I'll be back though, as Patrick says, kicking and screaming about something. For sure.

there was someone on "Martial Law" named Cletus, tonight. I wanted to laugh everytime they mentioned him. It was a cross-over episode with "Walker, Texas Ranger". You know what that means, don't you?? Double Sammo!!! woooooooo!!

that walker's a good man.

screw him. I'm for Sammo!

walker'd kick his ass!