I need a name for a band. You know, you sit up late at night and brainstorm band names for no particular reason. My theory is that there are no good names left, so we should just assign random letters and numbers to bands.

How about Buster Hymen and the Penatraters?Never mind it,s taken.

(shamelessly stolen from brunching.com, so you wouldn't have to scroll through the mail for it) "I assume you've ruled out "Peaches Peanuts and Shetland Ponies" as a possible band name. Anyhow, Odin knows I've come up with enough stupid band names in my time, but I've forgotten them all except "The Munchausen By Proxy All-Stars" and "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Band." Feel free to use either of those, because I sure wouldn't. If you don't like those, we'll have to fall back on Rucker's Law, which is that any text of sufficient incoherency will contain a good band name. In keeping with that principle, here are some potential band names ripped from our own articles: Mork 3:16 Long-Distance Esophagus Handjob Squatting Woman The No-Pants Tradition Plastic Blob Head One Through Twelve Big Enough Umbrella (This is also a clever Sting reference, if Sting references can be said to be clever.) The Much Larger Cake Unit Photon Colonic Bastard! Coward! Bastard! Pippi Goes To A Coffee Party The Gleaming Terrier of Finance The Freed-Up CPU Cycles Noun International Sitcom Conspiracy Minister Pre-Register Stern Behind-Sexing Washed and Unwashed (Which you could change to "Washed/Not Washed" to make a clever eighties band reference, if eighties band references can be said to be clever.) John Q. Penguin's Rocks Hook, Line and Chakra Plain Old Regular Enjoyment Sheep Have A Password Tertiary Virgin Hygiene It's Spelled Orgasm" The Brunching Shuttlecocks

How about the Wellingtons? It's british for rubber boots. You could call yourself the Wellies for short. I like Kill Rockstars as a name, but that's taken. Or: Sound and Fury The [Your first and last name here] band. Downtown Massacre Crosstown Traffic

I had completely forgotten about that article from Brunching. I like Tertiary Virgin personally....

I've always thought a good way to name a band is to imagine in advance the Hanna-Barbera cartoon constructed around the adventures of your band, imagine in addition that it is a super-hero/mundane crossover band, create your alternative superhero identities, and then name THEIR band.

I like "The No-Pants Tradition" myself.

I like Chuck E. Weiss and the Goddamn Liars, and 59 Times the Pain, but those are taken too. I like Noun from the list. I like band names that are sentences, like My Dad Is Dead, Treat Her Right, His Name Is Alive, Pop Will Eat Itself, Man Is the Bastard, His Hero Is Gone....ummmm....And You Will Know Us From the Trail of Dead.....yeah. Cuz then it's like the name refers to the music and not the people in the band. It's like a title or something. I don't know. Whatever.

all the good band names are gone. the only three i have ever been apart of are "95 theses"-high school thang, silly goth phase.....with me on guitar, before i took up the traps we got old of that, i started drums, changed our direction went with "Styrofoam Ceiling"-courtesy of Mark Robinson from Unrest finally, and the name nico and I still retain when we have time to make music "accustat" (with an umlout over the last a) accurate and set

in high school i knew a guy named ted who wore the same red shirt everyday to school cause some guys bet him a dollar (at the first part of his freshman year)that he wouldn't do it. so he wore the same red shirt everyday for an entire year... then he bought two more red shirts cause his mom got pissy and everyday throughout his high school career he wore a red shirt. then some guy from his high school named his band "ted's red shirt." the band broke up, but the name is still good and full of history

rock band no. 846,385,658,350

Avogadro's number? (no, droopy, i realize that your post is NOT avogadro's number...it just inspired me, ok?)

Ockham (or Occam, your preference)'s Razorbacks? Archmidean Flashpoint? Parable of the Cave In? St. Thomas More not Less? Shiva and Shake? The Lost Civilization of Atlantic City? Scottish Rite Mason Jars?

avocado's number, actually. a clever reference to the number of molecules in the gasses produced by burritos with extra guacamole. it's a texas thang.

well, we'd understand it her in new mexico, too. then there's abogado's number, a clever reference to ambulance chasing personal injury lawyers.

I have a list of around 50 band names that I thought of. But I am so paranoid about people stealing them or seeing them and forgetting about them and then thinking it's theirs later on that I only tell them to people who I can trust.

you can tell us. come on. bands a friend of mine was in that maybe why they didn't go anywhere had something to do with the name: Milkface Strictly Clean and Decent The Sockets this was a guy band, maybe if they'd gone with The Plugs it woulda fit... Bands named after hardware store items could be a nice category The Bolts The Nuts The Hinges The Grommets The Pliers The Wrenches The Hedge Clippers Ball Peen Hammer Glue Dap Putty Sealant Caulk Tile Spackling Compound I'm of course imagining that The Screws has already been used. branching off into architectural features: Wainscotting The Shingles Front Porch Landscaping: The Shrubbery House plants: Aspidistra is this getting too silly yet

Well, and gardening and cooking certainly deserve a fair shot, like: 1001 3 minute meals Aphid Infestation Anxiety stuff like that.

How about biology in general? Life-forms: *Lucy and the Australopithecenes *The Golden Lion Tamarinds *The Albino Sun Bears from Alaska *The Moss Animals *The Cnidarians *The Goliath Beetles *The Gross Bugs in General Diseases/Medical conditions (worked for Anthrax): *Acoustic Neroma (bonus for the word acoustic) *Moebius Syndrome *Stiff Man Syndrome *Tetralogy of Fallot *von Hippel-Landau Disease *Treacher Collins *Helicobacter Pylori *Thalassemia *Graft Versus Host *Alexia (the inability to read....could be relevant, depending on who's in the band) *Wet Necrosis (good for a death metal band) Anatomy: *Head of Ulna (this was actually my zine's name when I was in high school) *Broca's Area *Arachnoid Granulations *Pia Mater and the Orbital Gyri This is fun.

i stand by my notion that all the good band names are taken.

The Barefoot Brigade suddenly occurred to me while speeding down Highway One. I don't know why. Anyway.

Ooh, forgot some: *Necrotizing Fasciitis (this is flesh-eating bacteria) *Blue Rubber Bleb Nevus Syndrome *Pectus Excavatum (good if you have skinny guys in the band) *Maple Syrup Urine Disease (no joke) Diseases are so cool.

Got some more... Spiritual Cactus (or Cacti) The Dolly Llamas Salad Days

patrick, some of them were pretty good- name some EXISTING band names you like

Oh, I forgot literary references... Ice-9 John Fortune

Spiritual...and any noun. The spiritual trousers Johnny Jump-Up and the Trousers

Real bandnames my favorite bandname to see plastered on telephone poles around here: Govt. Cheese Got these off the internet, hot and steaming: The Incontinentals Anything But That 2000 Flushes Honest Bob and the Factory to Dealer Incentives Vowel Movement Phlegm Fatale Dumpster Juice ok, link: canonical list of weird band names

Well, my friend has a band called Treefort. Avocado's Number suggests The Snarkout Boys (a Pinkwater reference), or perhaps The Last Gurus (again with the Pinkwater). How about Tae Bo Diddley? Hints from Heloise and Abelard?

the name of my radio show was "the soil erosion theory show." my band was going to be named "mothers of mayhem" with the acronym of MOM, but then tommy lee started a band called method of mayhem and ruined it all.

ok heather. a local act Syncopation Flaming Lips another local act Betty Blowtorch Olivia Tremor Control (athens) Servotron (atlanta) Man or Astroman (atlanta) American Analog Set (Austin) another local act Bomboras Gastr Del Sol (chicago) Tangerine Dream (German-defunct) Jessamine (WA-defunct?) Aqua (German) Galaxy 500 (Boston defunct) Coedine (Chicago-defunct?) Slowdive (UK) Spaceman 3 (UK-defunct) Suicide (NY defunct) Jonathon Fire Eater Slant 6 (DC-defunct) Guild of Temperal Adventurers (Chicago/ Nation of Ulysses Pussy Galore i could go on, but i don't really have the time. it's just my opinion, and it has alot to do with the music at hand from this list, there is a synergy between the name and the music, and I admit to not knowing the intent or meaning of some of these, but the aesthetic of the word, like Jessamine for example, it just sounds good, it's a very pretty proper name. Random scientific names, body parts and such are obviously hard to connect to non existant bands, granted. However, in the last handful of years i have seen a proliferation, epsecially in pop and indie music, of bad bad bad silly, stupid names, both in meaning and phonetically. i like that, agatha, mothers of mayhem. were you heavy rock, like say in the black sabbath, jesus lizard, budgie vain....i could get into that.

Rhiannon, re biology, combining 2 reference work titles that have brought me much grief but that would make a great band name if the music quotes lots of obscure musical references: Catalogue of Foraminifera and Ostracoda CFO for short

syncopation? all of the 'unused' ones were better than syncopation- sounds like a pre-teen tap troupe but i like the rest

in defense of my aquaintances and friends.... Merriam/Webster sez syncopation-a temporary displacement of the regular metrical accent in music caused typically by stressing the weak beat. if you heard their music, well, it might seem more appropriate. A rock/free jazz improv combo, with coleman-esq sax and guitar-bass-drums sounds similar to that of the krautrockers. It's quite appropriate. One of the better, more creative outfits in this otherwise industry-smothered town.

did some one say you will know us by the trail of dead?! has anyone heard their other band Roman Scandal? i love thos guys. i played with them at the melodica festival. a drunken bunch of lads. i just happen to have an extra promo pin. highest bidder gets it.

I said it. But I've never heard their music, only their name. So....they're good, huh?

roman scandal is pretty f'in good. i enjoyed them. the lead singer (from trail of dead) was wonderful. this festival we played, he started throwing stuff around and asking the people if they had drugs cause he would do them. i was shouting with him. but we were the only ones into it. he was energetic, something i like to see in an electronica band.

Did you ever see Brainiac when they were around? Electronic and quite spastic and very entertaining, so I've heard. I've got all their stuff, but never got a chance to see them live. Timmy Taylor RIP.

My band are splitting up and we're giving the name away it is called A.W.D. Aspirations of world domination if u want it just email me first at Kidrock182_41@hotmail.com

hee hee funny i'm a lesbian and i'm also a stripper.

i'm going to see a band called NIMROD tonight. you could always go solo and steal their name.

or you could go look at some recent pictures of a cool walk eva and I went on. http://www.printroom.com/ViewAlbum.asp?userid=accustat&album_id=172730

heh, i remember trying to take cleo to places like that. any kind of scenic vista-type place. it's lost on kids that age. now, a patch of dirt over by a bush with some old, dry leaves and twigs -- that's fun!

Dirt is always fun. You can get it under your fingernails. I am in a band now. It's called Mail Order Babies. Or at least that's what I tell everyone except the other person in the band.

What does your other band member think it's called?

I love those pictures on the swing,but my favorite is her watching seseme street while you make coffee,she's already doing yoga:)

We did this on another thread a ways back. I remember liking "Dog Poo Fondue" as a band name (it wasn't mine -- somebody else's invention.)

I don't know what he thinks it's called. Our second practice is tomorrow. Supposedly we're trying to play creepy lounge but I'm working on a fake country song.

?????????????????????????????????????

The fake country song works pretty well in a lounge style. Plus one of the verses rhymes "radiation" with "Sioux Nation" and "maturbation".

im 10 and i think all of your band names are gay

ah, raven. reconsider. "rock band no. 846,385,658,351" is not in any way "gay." nor is "?????????????????????????????????????"

the band names are homosexual? are gay band names allowed to marry, or does that just cheapen it for the hetero band names?

well Raven, it's a really gay band, so they need a gay name. Or else how would anyone know they were gay? and so "Jimmy Anal and the Rimjobs" was born.

What about "the pinworms?" Which, might I add, my daughter had obtained yet again. The pills have to be chewed for maximum effectiveness. Brrrrr.

pinworms? how does your daughter feel about you sharing that with everyone?

Well, she told her friend with the most paranoid mom earlier this week, so she probably doesn't feel too torn up about it.

Unfortunate Digression: does anybody have any good Christmas cookie recipes to share?

but, agatha, she told her friend. that's different than her mom posting it on the web. i would be pissed.

We don't know these people, mostly. Whatever

unless she reads the boards, there's no worry. You would not believe how many people knew when i got my first period. I think my mom must have called everyone she knew about it. God. GOD.

I have a friend that calls me "the most embarrassing mom ever." She said that after I went to pick Cleo up at school and asked her loudly, "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday? Did you change your underwear?" Heh.

And seeing as nobody gave me any recipes, I'll give you guys some. I am pretty psyched about these three cookie varietals that I made today: ******************************** Puffed Wheat Squares I think these are an Alberta thing, as no one else has even seen, heard of, or tried them. But they're absolutely delicious and a big hit. 1/2 C margarine 1 C corn syrup 1 C white sugar 1/4 C brown sugar 6 heaping tbsp. cocoa 1 tsp. vanilla 10 C puffed wheat (I used Kashi) Combine margerine, sugars, corn syrup and cocoa in heavy saucepan and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Pour over puffed wheat. Mix well and press mixture into 9"x13" pan. Let cool, cut, and serve. ************************************************** Almond Toffee Bars These are to-die-for. 30 graham crackers (approx.) 1 1/2 C sliced almonds 1 C butter 1 C brown sugar Preheat oven to 400 F. Line cookie sheet with graham crackers, cutting and fitting crackers so that they completely cover the sheet with no gaps in between. Sprinkle 1 C of almonds over crackers. Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in brown sugar, bring to a boil. Cook over medium-low heat for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour evenly over crackers. Sprinkle remaining almonds over top. Bake 7-8 minutes or until bubbling all over. Cool a few minutes. Cut into bars along edge of crackers. Remove from pan immediately. Makes 2-3 dozen. ******************************** Coconut Oatmeal Cookies (I recommend adding chocolate chips to this recipe) 1 egg 1 cup flour 1 1/2- 2 cups quick cooking oatmeal 1 tsp. vanilla 1 tsp. baking soda 1 stick margarine (for baking) or butter, softened 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup regular granulated sugar 3 tbsp. milk 1 10oz bag of sweetened shredded coconut (in the baking aisle) 1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly spray nonstick cookie sheet with cooking spray. 2.Cream together butter, brown sugar & granulated sugar until creamy and soft. 3.Add egg, vanilla, baking soda and the whole bag of shredded coconut. Stir. 4.Stir in the oatmeal a little at a time until well mixed. If the mixture looks a little dry then add the milk. 5.Stir in the flour. 6.Using a teaspoon or tablespoon (depends on how big you like your cookies), drop the cookies unto the cookie sheet about 2 inches apart. 7. Using your hand slightly flatten each cookie. 8. Bake for 8-10 minutes until lightly golden brown on top. 9. When cookies are done then remove cookie sheet & let cool. Remove cookies when cool & enjoy! Note: I let the cookies cool first because it's easier to remove the cookies without them breaking. These are Ernie's favorite! If you omit the coconut and add 1/2 cup more of flour with 1 12oz bag of chocolate chips then you have my famous oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. ****************************** Share the love. I'm going to go wrap now. I have so much to do. ps- Dave's making a Howard Dean ham tomorrow. http://www.virtualcities.com/ons/vt/gov/vtgov70.htm

I'm making these tomorrow (today?), as i do every x-mas. Cranberry Oat Squares 1 Cup Flour 1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda 1/2 Cup Butter (could use marg but butter is better) 1 Cup lightly packed Brown Sugar 2 Cups Rolled Oats 1 1/2 - 2 Cups Basic Cranberry Sauce (you can make your own or buy a can or two of whole cranberry sauce) 1. Blend flour and Soda in a large bowl. 2. Cut in butter until mixture resembles fine bread crumbs. 3. Add sugar and Oats and stir until evenly mixed. 4. Press half of this mixture into a buttered 8" (20cm) square baking dish. 5. Spread cranberry sauce evenly over oat mixture. 6. Cover with remaining oat mixture and pat lightly to smooth. 7. Bake in preheated 325 degree oven for 35 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. 8. Cool before cutting into squares. -------- Basic Cranberry Sauce: 2 Cups White Sugar 1 Cup Water Juice of 1 Orange 3" Strip of orange rind (peel) 4 Cups Cranberries 1. Combine sugar, water, orange juice and rind in a large saucepan. 2. Stir until sugar dissolves. 3. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cook uncovered for 5 minutes. 4. Add cranberries and continue cooking for 15 - 25 minutes or until berries have popped and mixture is slightly thickened. 5. Remove orange rind.

on xmas eve I made a pot roast and Ron and I watched several episodes of season one 24. it was splended. for the first time in my life I went to the movies on christmas day. Ron and I went to see Meet the Fockers (which was cute), and then had breakfast for dinner at the Golden Griddle. I had a Great christmas this year.

Well..... You guys have some pretty cool band names. i have some ideas if you want them Destined for open mic night the chat room casanovas Reclinus Dangers ugly head I got more but i need to make a choice for my band before i share them with ya. keep up the good work......... xxoo

<makes the sound of Kif groaning>

hey, i like this Ayla kid! She's like a fresh summer breeze. (and i love the Kif groan, as i love Kif. I groan like him any chance i get)

We were Stark Nekkid and the Car Thieves

*groan*

El Vez (the Mexican Elvis impersonator) is also in a band called the Trailer Park Casanovas.

fuck u

yep i im back the 10 year old that thinks your band names are gay i reconsidered cuz i thought about it and they are AWSOME!

sdfjha;sdofhafdasdfasd

nothing beats super teenage makeout dance party! nothing.

i'd forgotten about mail order babies.

Skooter's band is called Annie Feed Water, which is strange, but has a nice ring to it, what with the 2-syllable, 1-syllable, 2-syllable thing.

okay, so who made my oatsquares? anyone? any of you fuckers make my oatsquares? screw you guys.

Those sound really good. I'm-a make some.

i havent made no damn oatsquares but i did make a kick ass split pea soup for the first time last night with croutini that the lil monkey and i chowed down. 2 cups dried split peas. i used yellow and green 1 carrot 1 onion as much garlic as you like 3-4 cups chicky stock sprigs of rosemary saute chopped onion, carrot and garlic till near clear add rinsed peas & stock and rosemary bring to boil let simmer for 1/2 hour puree salt and pep take any fresh bread. rustic, baguette or whatever. avoid sourdough or any typical loaf type bread. if they offer la brea bakery bread at your store, go for it. slice. take liberal amounts of olive oil in a foiled roasting pan. coat each side of the bread. pop in an oven, toaster or otherwise until crisp. let cool. crumble in soup. eat.

ummm i dont know

do you mind if I use your 'super teenage makeout dance party' band name Lapis? I think it totally rocks and I've been looking for a band name for about 3 months. I;ve had a look around and it doesn't seem to be in use.. or is it? :/ anyway you all seem like really nice ppl.. keep up with the recipes!

My bands name is TRAPT IN BLACK ROSES!! i like that name, because it sounds like a punk name!! and that is wat my band is!! I play the drums in an all guy band, but i am a girl, so anyways!! There are 3 guys and 1 girl, thats me!! anyways, i have to go so bye!!

I always thought "Banal Warts" would be a good name for a band.