"You really fine, do you know that?" (etc. etc.) (try to ignore) "I'm not bothering you, am I?" (etc.) "Do you think you're too good for me?" (etc.) And what is the trick to making them disappear? This one eventually got bounced - one of the waiters was on his case already. Is it something about me? Is there a ritual to this I don't know? A particular retort that always works? Or is it just that I'm unattended by a male? |
or, you're an idiot magnet. |
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Insult them. Speedily & in no uncertain terms. "If I wasn't Lesbian when I walked in here/you've I've definitely convinced me to switch sides now. So fuck off!" "Sorry/I'm not free. Or cheap. My manicure cost more than everything you've got on. So why don't you move over to the bargain basment section?" "If you're not gone by the time I count to five/my drink will be all over yr head & my knee will be shaking hands w/yr groin. Got it?" Ya gotta be MEAN when fending off assholes. Humiliation is the only message they understand. |
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My homeboy used to break into his Kid-from-the- Short-Bus routine when we'd blow a joint & go into Macy's or wherever. He'd follow me around/ pretending I was his Mom. God, that was funny! I really need to call that boy... I always tried to play along/but I cd never get into character for more than 5 min. before I was ROFL. Y'know, I don't think I've ever seen a mentally retarded/Downs Syndrome person in a bar. Are they medically-prohibted from drinking or something? |