| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal. All it takes is one jerk to cut me off a little too close, and I can feel the fight to survive swell up in me again... I guess what I mean is, what am I living for? There are very few things that give me any joy. Does anyone else feel this way? I'd say that I'm not depressed, or that I even have a sense of malaise... I'm pretty cheerful most of the time. I just don't really feel anything. Not happy, not sad, not love, not hate... nothing. I've expended a lot of energy in distractions, but once those are complete, there's the same sense of nothing. Does anyone have any thoughts? |
When I start feeling that way, I realize it's because I'm not satisfied with my life. Ok. So that sounds all cheesey and shit, but really...we're not supposed to be satisfied with are lives 24 hours a day for the rest of our lives. If we were, we wouldn't change anything..and change is positive. So, when I get like that, I realize it's time for change and then I try and figure out what it is I need, what it is I'm missing. Normally this results in me packing up everything I own and moving to another state or another town. (I've done it 6 times in the past 7 years)Maybe it's cuz it lets me start fresh in a sense. I regain innocence in a way. I don't know. Sometimes all it takes is a bottle of hair dye, some scissors, and a trip to the thrift store tho... |
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when i'm feeling really sad i have to stop and look at the sadness, hug it and hold it close, feed into it and then it becomes satisfied and will let me go on to other feelings and thoughts. |
Moving to a new city, then changing apartments fixing latest apartment up to a comfortable level (nearly done that) Funny hair colour going out on occassion instead of deciding it will be no fun before I go Personally, though, I need the distractions to keep me from going insane. My problem is more that I just don't feel anything - not even dissatisifaction. Everything is trudging along just fine... can't complain, really. I guess I'm just bored. I didn't used to be so even tempered, I guess, and I'm wondering what has changed. Thanks for your thoughts, WN |
maybe it's inner peace? maybe you are maturing? just because you are even tempered doesn't mean you are bored. be happy, accept it, it is a good thing. |
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are you Dan prime? |
I never thought growing up would be so boring. blah. |
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