i tried to "sex up" my image. i threw out most of my t-shirts. i put the dolls in storage. but the attention i get isn't ~wanted~. a man walked up to me in a mall and asked me if he could buy me a drink. another man wolf-whistled at me, leering, as i walk into freddy's to work. they have no clue who i am. they proably just want some booty. sure. and then in classes. one teacher gets really excited about the subject and i begin making wisecracks. i don't want to be a troublemaker. i just want to be noticed. for little things. maybe i should talk to people after class, or before. or something. not just expect them to worship me. abestos yields to no dreams

I must be getting cuter or something. Either that or I am just irresistably adorable when I interview bands. Today I went to interview one and the singer kissed me on the cheek. Last week it was a band of punk rock boys who wrote songs about killing people and 2 of them hugged me after the interview. Oh sure, everyone wants to flirt with me who is coming through town, but what about the cutie pies here in town? No no! Not a one! Still, it seems weird to me that these boys are all touchy feely. I reckon since there are few rock journalist women they don't have female interviews often, and you know, maybe it's really just that sucking up to me so I'll say something nice (see Lester Bangs comments about being merciless journalist in Almost Famous). I lost 20 lbs. Does it really show that much? I reckon so. It's weird tho. Your whole body is a stranger.

It's true. It doesn't. I tried to sex up my image once too. I feel really monochormatic lately, like I'm wearing the same thing every day and that I look the same every day, and I don't know how I should repair it. I just feel like ordinary, stinky old me all the time. And that's dull.

...nuthin' wrong with stinky...

*sniffs the air around her* Well, I'm not stinky now, because I just showered. But ugh.

deoderant is my friend. really. i like the attention i get, but not really. i'd rather have someone to laugh with. not some random cowboy. (no offense intended to cowboys) i had better relations with the o.s. when i was in kidnergarten. then i didn't have to worry...just go climb my tree.

...not worrying is good... I've gotten in the most trouble when I didn't worry. Trouble is good. Now, when I don't worry, I worry about it. Maybe.

advice to pez: go climb a tree. female rock journalists are, indeed, in the top 10 sexy professions.

Did no one notice my new job? I think it's a vry exciting idea. Utterly, utterly me. Yes. Texas, here I come.

isolde... i don't think you're trying to attract me... but i very much find stinky girls attractive. mmm... i'm one of those twice, thrice at most weekly showerers and i enjoy the company of those who are equally and more stinky.

and feeling sexy. ha ha. once i felt sexy... no i just had gas.

dinner lady, you know (of) who Lisa Carver is, Suckdog? Rollerderby? she's a "rock journalists". She's kinda sexy a i think.

Lisa Carver rocks! I love her so much. I take a shower every day. I'm very meticulous about being clean.

I shower every day too. I've always been kind of nutty about this. I can't function or leave the apartment until I've showered. And I sort of have issues about showering with other people too...but that's a whole nother thread. I'm really anti-stink. Unless it's a good stink. Course, I'm anti-fake-stink too. Those bimbos who load themselves down with perfume....batty. Most of the time I don't wear deodorant either...but I always shower. Course...I have days when I don't shower, don't leave the apartment, and just stay in bed all day. I'm overdue for one of those.

I know who she is because I too am from NH originally but I don't know her personally tho she is now married to a friend's ex who is a 1st class jerk as far as I am concerned so good luck to her. When I was in HS she was most famous for screwing GG Allin (I think this was not odd in NH tho - many people did) and being a lackluster musician. I do want to read her book tho as it got good reviews. I thought she was sexy because she was always naked. I'm clothed and bathed too. Does that still make me a sexy rock journalist? I go through the pages of SPIN/Rolling Stone/ and it's a little hobby of mine to notice how few women write on music at a pro level. It's very lame. Then again, most music is very lame too. Sometimes even I am not sure why I do it. A habit? I like men who bathe. My friend Andy was over for dinner the other nite and he was stinky. A great guy but always stinky. A little smell is good, a lot of smell is too much. As for Pez, you're just gonna have to be yourself from here on in. But that will surely be OK! I dig what you mean. I've called a moratorium on dates in my life. They are too weird. Just rather hang around and do things with people and get to know them in a non-freaky tense unpleasant way.

Yeah, me too. I need to shower before I go outside too. And I'm very anti-stink. I like showering with people.

K, I wasn't done there...but for some reason I thought I was. (I'm feeling the intense need to ramble today--and you guys are silly. You'll read it.) The whole perk up the self image thing. I've been doing that recently too. It seems like everytime my life is going through some semi-drastic change, I change my appearance. Sometimes it'll be something weak...maybe paint my nails, or wear my make-up differently. Sometimes I'll dye my hair a completely different color. Other times I'll raid the local thrift store and change my wardrobe entirely. Sometimes I even change the decorations on my apartment..just to make things different. It makes me feel more alive. Last night I dyed my hair pomegranate. I like it. It's red red. The sun shines on it and it almost looks surreal. I was so sick of my mopey brown. I dug through my closet and pulled out a few outfits I haven't worn for awhile. I even went and splurged on a funky-cool red dress to bring to California with me. These are all little things, but they matter. I was a Catholic school girl once and hated it because I couldn't exspress myself through my appearance. Once I left the school...I shaved off all my hair and started wearing long skirts. Just to rebel maybe....just to make up for the two years I was forced to wear wool quilts and collared shirts. It's silly really. K. I'm done now.

i had lunch with lisa yesterday...... and breakfast with her a month ago.....i sought out her attention on nerve once. i made a point for her to remember the waffleboy. it was spawned by some sort of boyish desire to be noticed.....part projection of her diaries, and part desire to acheive the goal, just to see if i could do it. when she held her first nerve chat....she knew "waffleboy" within minutes by saying "i knew i was gonna have trouble with you waffleboy" launching my charm, and quicktime wit, mixxed with a teaspoon of annoyance....it worked! now we are friends...the best part is i get more of her writing, in email, than anyone ever gets from the nerve journals or her other work on other sites.... isolde, you should see her movies on icast.com.... they are hilarious

I'll check them out. I'm totally in admiration of her. I've been following the progress of the contest winners on nerve with some interest...indeed. Argh. I don't want to go back to work now.

heh...i know secrets about that.....the final diary entry on it is up today.....i got to hear first hand yesterday.

Patrick, it is improbable that anyone could resist yer charm, quicktime wit, and annoyance.

Don't tell him that,he'll get a hard-on.

completely probable.

I'm not that smitten with Lisa Carver. But I haven't made a huge study of her, either. Then again, I know lots of people with the "I get laid alot, I'm cool" mentality, and I might sort of project that onto her. I am stinky. And (as we recently found out) not sexy. Though whether there's REALLY a correlation between the two, I couldn't say. I seem to get plenty of ass; even though I only shower once every two or three days. (I've been told that showering every day is bad for your skin, and I believe it.) Dates are best when they aren't planned: prepare for an anecdote. Two nights ago, a friend and I were hanging out at Denny's at 11:00pm bitching about our dating lives. we leave at about midnight, and I go outside to have a cigarette. I'm followed out by two young ladies I don't recognize. They ask me for a light, and all the bad movie lines in the universe are scrolling through my head. Anyhow, they turn out to be these two tourists from San Francisco, and really awesome, nerdy people. One of them studies German and Material Sciences and works doing something with a telephony server. The other pulls in 50k a year doing phone tech support. (side note: god, DAMN, I need to move away from this mudderfuggin' $7.00 per hour economy I live in. fugfugfug.) They're into MUDing and roleplaying and all sorts of geeky stuff, and we end up going out to a bar and having a fairly rockin' impromptu date-sorta-thing. I mean, it was just hanging out, but it was good "gettin' to know you" time with the opposite sex, with no weird pressure or preconceived notions, 'cause we'd just met an hour ago. They left, promising to put us up if we ever wanted to visit San Francisco; we told them to drive back on Friday for Karaoke. So that's my new plan. I'm just gonna walk up to people who look interesting and ask them to go out with me, right then and there. Oh. other weird note. The friend I was hanging out with is afraid her S.O. will break up with her; she asked me if I would sleep with her (if they broke up) in order to make him jealous. Turns out she had her sights on me way back when, but I was busy being involved with someone at the time. (of course, I'm involved with someone, now, too, but she didn't seem to take that into account. Women are strange.) Of COURSE I said yes. sheesh. Kalliope: can we see pics of pomegranate hair?

aahh, home. land of contentment. i spent over an hour and a half this morning being utterly confused by a language that i don't remember much about. time to dig out the french notes! i wonder, would this site be a culture? hrmmm...

im pretty sure Lisa Carver doens't harbor this mentality ""I get laid alot, I'm cool" " at all. Im pretty damn sure of it. She is a journalist, she talks about what she knows best, her experiences. She is and will be regarded as a one of the most profound punk, nihilist, iconoclast journalist of the Nirvana/Cobain blow up my school generation. Obviously she has settled in the last few years, her son has helped herfocus and her writings and creative outputs have as well...... her publication of Rollerderby, Suckdog, her marriage and divorce to Boyd Rice....nazi, extremist, musician, nihilst what have you, her marriage to Dave of the now defucnt Elevator Drops....

denial of stink is denial of humanity, denial of life. people stink. enjoy it.

Dave ... who really freaked my friend out who was dating him when she came home and Dave was wearing one of her dresses and makeup trying to look like her and thinking it would be a turn on. Luckily he soon was so busy screwing strangers in nightclubs it was over shortly thereafter. Ah romance. Oh he was so deeply unpleasant. I surely hope he's gotten his shit together with Madame Carver. I reckon we're all young sometime but he was so deeply sleazy, a lying, skanky, wormly, little boy. And he hates me of course. Like big deal. He's not who I'd want raising a friend's child. But hey, maybe that experience has changed him for the better too. I hope so. Maybe she's made him a better man. It could happen. I understand what Tom means tho about the 'screwing for status thing'. Like Annie Sprinkle will be here soon on tour but I just don't know if she's really that interesting. Basing your whole life around sex, like anything, is a bit dull. My friend went to see her last time and he said it just got boring. Wow, that's sad isn't it?

Denial of stink is denial of basic hygiene. Yuk. Very unsexy.

people stink even when clean. get over it.

No. I don't think I'm that fucking desperate. Stinky boys don't make it into my boudoir. They can stay outside with the garbage bin.

my wife never stinks, even when she thinks she stinks. her smell is embedded in my psyche.... the thing is, Lisa's writing often has nothing to do with sex. From what little i know of dave from Lisa, she appears to have humbled the boy considerably. I think he met his match with her.

that sounds funny dinner lady.....about dave dressing up... see Lisa would appreciate something like that.....see the humor in it. about fucking strangers in night clubs, i get the impression he and lisa have an understanding, either way its of no concern of mine. further, i find it funny......a lot of people can be super aggressive towards her, people who dont even know her. I mention her name at times on nerve, and someone (almost alawyas female) says "fuck that bitch" and it's like why do you have this hostility towards someone you don't know much less understand. It seems many people project their personal lives on to hers, because she lays hers out for all to see.....almost as if she's fucking their boyfriend or girlfriend. It's funny people critisize her for raising a child, often these critical comments have come from people supposedly her friends, supposedly these liberal minded people.....yet they can't fathom someone who has led the life she has could be a responsible parent. her and dave have done well for themselves...just so you know....they moved into a new house and she is keeping busy writing , and hes got some graphics job or something like that.

Desperation has nothing to do with it, Cat. And, of course she stinks, patrick. It's just that you like it. Exactly my point.

Do try not to get your knickers in a knot, Antigone. It will just make you all sweaty and smelly. As my last attempt to clarify my point: I'd have to be desperate to be with someone who hadn't bathed for three days. I don't find the smell of unwashed sweat attractive. Thank you. And Goodnight.

I stink sometimes more than others, and then I shower. It's that simple. I like having clean, non-greasy hair, and a clean, non-greasy body, which means I basically have to shower every day. Especially in a humid climate like this, where my face has just exploded (read--two tiny zits on my nose) and I feel yucky all the time. Being clean and being around clean people is very important to me. I cannot handle bad smells. Bad semlls often include unwashed. On other fronts, no one has asked me to sleep with them lately. Bet then again, no one's asked me to sleep with them in a context outside the heat of the moment in a while. I feel like that chick with cancer in Fight Club: "I have condoms, lubricant, toys..." and no one loves me. I'm insecure today. I just ate dinner with geek boy. He spent the entire time staring at me. We're going to be gym buddies as soon as I get over this asthma crisis. I worked out with him maybe twice, then got switched to mondo inhaler dosage and no strenuous excercise (the joke was already made, you don't need to go there...). Anyway. I feel grubby and unhappy today. The ladies at the post office are real bitches. I want to go hide somewhere in a nice warm bed with a nice warm body and...do something non-strenuous, like sleeping. *really* Today is a gray day.

I know what you mean about Lisa. I think very 'out there' women (Sprinkle, Galas, Finley, many more) are built to be misunderstood. I think too that people get touchy when they feel they are 'supposed to be' a certain way to be a 'real feminist' as dictated by a woman in the media. I remember David Lynch getting flak about the character of Dorothy in Blue Velvet and that she was a negative portrayal of women loving abusive relationships etc, and him saying 'she doesn't represent women - she is a woman and her character is who this one particular woman is'. I honestly don't know enuf about Carver to have an opinon on her (or if previous comments apply at all), only childhood rumors and wisps of info. I did get her Suckdog comp a few years ago when I was editing this zine and wanted someone to interview her because I thought she'd be a interesting lady but the record was mostly horrible yet for some reason sort of mesmerizing. Like the Shaggs maybe. But it never happened. Dave of course is another issue since he's always been an ass to me, and of course treated my friend very poorly - neither for any particular reason I can imagine (Honestly I think he was a bit scared of me - ha!). Ironically, when I think about it and one of his unpleasant qualities was being unbathed and filthy! Ha! There is a tie-in! But really I haven't seen him in years so whatever. I reckon he could be an entirely different person now. Married, homeowning, and day job holding would all indicate 'entirely different' to me.

i've been working on the mix tape and doing homework. i needed a break, so i went downtown to powell's. one guy wanted to buy my jacket off me (my plastic jacket...like wearing a glove, but it looks like a pearl) as i walked to the store from the parking garage. i got a book on herbs and charms, an art nouveau style "zodiac" journal, and two zines: cost of living (i love the cover) and grundig #3 (the focus is train riding and jumping; although there is a nice, short article about two girls that have conversational sex on two sides of a curtain). on the way out, another guy with a bunch of pamphlets was talking about how he was "rapping for peace". poked around in avalon for about ten minutes...there's a couple of cool forties and fifties formal dance dresses in there. and a crepe number with a ruffle. too expensive for me. for some reason, my best accomplishment of the day seems to be the fact that my legs are almost bald and i didn't lose any blood. all hail nair!

Once a year, I go with friends camping out west where we become total pigs for a week or two, not bathing, not shaving, wearing the same clothes for the entire period. We're all very moose-like by the end. It's nice to let yourself go once in a while, but by the end, I'm ready for a shave and a 1/2 hour shower. I shower every day whilst in civilization, otherwise I feel very greasy (as my dad would say, "greezy") and I use deodorant and Old Spice. My sister was in India recently and she said on the airplans, the smell was so overpowering that she had to go sit in the bathroom. I can't understand living with and tolerating that kind of stink.

I had a beau, and he left a shirt at my house one time and I went to throw it in the laundry but thought 'ooh I'll smell it' y'know 'cuz I thought it would smell like him but instead I was nearly knocked across the room by the stink! It was horrible! No wonder we broke up. I could go without showering but if I don't wash my hair I don't like how it looks. Too heavy.

i can't wash my hair but maybe twice a week. the water is so hard here and my hair freaks when i wash it......it drys it out to insane proportions after i wash....no matter how much conditioner. but i do run a bar of soap over my body once a day.....it's ritual, its a tool to help me wake up. sometimes i shower twice a day....if its hot and i want to cool off, i take a cool shower. i wrinkle fast so i am rarely in for more than 10 minutes.....and thats when im washing my hair, or i dont want to go to work. my wife loves to smell my under arms, so do my cats for that matter. it kinda tickles when they rub their noses around there. i like it. im glad my smell is liked.

trainhopping = good. friend anarchist has a big library of 'zines on the topic. All I know about L. Carver is from nerve.com, and I freely admit I know nothing about her outside of that (and this) forum. I like the way I smell. If the girl doesn't, well, then we've got a problem. Find me a nice hippie girl any day. Pez: find me a job in portland. I don't want to be here anymore. Maybe I'll go work at Powell's? never worked in a bookstore before.

powell's is huge. there's at least six stores around portland, and the big one. the big one has about eight sections, each covering a certain range of subjects. each is about the same size as a largeish bookstore (re: not quite barnes and noble size, but bigger than most other bookstores i've been in. a couple of websites that you might want to check out if you want a portland job: portland citysearch, the oregonian, and the multnomah county library might also have some good resources. i am having a good day. i can get into several poetry readings and actually talk to the poets for free!

my recordstore gig was the best job ever, i got to geek out with music and learn a thing or two from the other 30 year old audiophiles that worked there. i ws 19, so i was a sponge for a year, soaking up every bit of info i could, not to mention the scores i made.

poetry readings? who's reading? Thanks for the links. All I've found so far are bits as a technical writer. Dull.

lessee... it's all through mountain writers series. maxine scates @ mhcc, 6 october li-young lee @ the old church, 13 october (friday the 13th...oooooo) peter coyote @ the old church, 17 october marvin bell @ psu, 19 october; @ mhcc, 20 october michael collier @ reed, 25 october barbara ras @ mhcc, 17 november i really think i should join this group...they have readings, lectures and workshops done for and by poets. mountain writers series

in high school i was very big on showering. when i went to college, my freshman year, my roommates and i would have contests to see who could go the longest without showering. i think my bunkmate won. uhh... i think i saw her shower about three times a month. she wasn't too stinky though. i have a list of priorities, and showering is more near the bottom than the top. there is something about sweaty salty skin that makes me happy. mmm... i think i'm going to go suck on a block of salt.

I don't like having sweaty salty skin at all. It makes me foul and not awake. I don't mind going without a shower, if I'm clean. But I'm fanatical about being clean--if I'm not, I need to be as soon as possible.

It's a momentum thing for me. I'll feel all greasy after 24 hours without a shower, but if I keep going, I'll be ok for about a week before I hit another hurdle. I generally don't do this when I'm being an active part of society. It's mostly an extended backpacking trip thing. For the most part, though, I can be fin indefinately as long as I can clean my face from time to time and maybe my hair. Now, what makes me REALLY happy about being dirty is getting really muddy. REAL dirt, not just the self-generated stuff.

i guess there are parts of my body that i'm fanatical about keeping clean. my ears. i have a thing with q-tips. i clean my ears at least once a day. i'm addicted to the feeling i think. and my hands. i'm a phobic about germs. i wash my hands at least 30 times a day when i'm at work. luckily i only work two days a week now.

i used to smell my hands all the time. thought i had the scent of ramen broth wafting from them. today i went to class having barely washed my face. i managed to get up, dressed, put my hair in a ponytail and get out the door in 20 minutes. i can't go anylonger than 48 hours without washing my hair. it starts to feel like an oil slick and just hangs straight down. that's the problem with fine, straight hair. no body.

I wash my hands allthetime. And I brush my teeth too much, too. All 'cause of the cigarettes. I HATE smelling like smoke, or having the taste in my mouth. And of course, I shower after getting *really* sweaty, like after fighter practice or bowling. How does that work? does anyone else get sweaty from bowling? It seems like such a non-sport, but I always end up exhausted afterwards. huh. It's all in the wrist. OOh. Peter Coyote and Marvin Bell. yum. I've never read a bit of Coyote's poetry, but I enjoy the way he write prose. Poet of the day: Janette Williams Sycamore Emptiness Dark summer streets somehow lift away the dullness of yellow days. The sky is dark like nothing before or after. He said the air was Louisiana air... Oh that Louisiana air. It's heavy but very very faint like whispers on skin or reflected moonlight on stagnant water, and the smell of grass is everywhere. Out...away from the civilization of a crowded life. Somehow the two of us are stranded in the depths of that ravine. (The remains of a white river cut like forgotten scars through the dusty rocks) And he knows that I am there for him, he knows that I have wanted all along to be with him in a way that I am not. Again he lights a cigarette and exhales with too mcuh force. He looks at the ground and his haird drops like rain into his face. Conversatio is spotted, dull and void. It lingers on an on about important nothings. He touches me slightly, hoping that I won't notice yet aware of its importance. I knew righ then that I should go or that he should go. I knew at that odd moment of clarity that the awkwardness that had held me to his eyes and voice had chained me to that spectacle of everything that I had ever wanted. ****** and I just remembered that she lives in Portland. I'm gonna hunt her down. awesome. I've always wanted to be a stalker.

You already are. Someone fed me MEAT today. I am VERY unhappy.

poor, poor isolde. i was reading a mws newsletter that my poetry/english comp teacher gave me. turns out she's the founder. and she likes my work. yay! maxine kumin song for seven parts of the body this one, a common type, turns in. was once attached. fed me as sweetly as an opium pipe. o, birthdays unlimber us, eyes sit back, ears go indoors, but here nothing changes. this was. this is. mostly they lie low put up shells, sprout hairs and if they sing, they know only leather cares. blind marchers five abreast left, right silent as mushrooms or puff paste they rise up free at night. i have a life of my own he says. he is transformed without benefit of bone. i will burrow, he says and enters. afterwards he goes slack as a slug. he remembers little. the prince is again a frog. here is a field that never lies fallow. sweat waters it, nails hoe the roots. every day death comes in with the winnow. every day newborns crop up like asparagus. at night, all night on the pillow you can hear the narrow sprouts crackle rubbing against each other, lying closer than lemmings. they speak to their outposts in armpits. they speak to their settlers in crotches. neighbor, neighbor, they murmur. they have eyes that see not. they straddle the valley of wishes. their hills make their own rules. among them are bobbers melons, fishes doorknobs and spools. at times they whisper, touch me. imagine a mouth without you, pink man, goodfellow. a house without a kitchen, a fishless ocean. no way to swallow. these nubbins these hangers-on hear naught. wise men tug at them in thought. lovers may nibble each other's. maidens gypsies and peasants make holes in theirs to hang presents.

More like ANGRY Isolde.

anger gets you nowhere, unless others fear your anger.

I think they do...

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate Hate leads to suffering" -- Yoda, that wise-ass

No, stupid people putting meat in my fucking food lead to extreme pain in body parts stupid people didn't even know they had.

You should rip off one of their fingers and eat it. That'll show 'em!

antigone you are a gas.

is that something people say or did i just pull that out of thin air. sorry

Damn! That's a great idea. I did say that "I would have eaten the fucking beef if I'd killed the goddamn cow, but since I didn't know it, how could i have killed it?" It would have been great to rip off the man's finger and devour it raw and quivering in front of all the resturant patrons.

Hot damn, Bell_jar, how did you know I only exist in the form of a vapor?

that reminds me of a conversation i once had. i solemnly told this person that i prefer not to eat meat, but i'd be willing to give cannibalism a try. a few days later i bit his nose.

I dunno, Antigone. seems pretty obvious that you're fulla hot air.

Actually, I consist primarily of noble gasses, mainly neon, argon, and xenon. My consciousness emerged from the complex flows of these three gasses (plus traces of many others) in a container housed deep beneath Area 51 in Nevada. These gasses are kept at a highly excited state, so they are hot, at least by your frame of reference.

whoa. how do you type?

I don't, silly. Basically, I can speak binary directly to a computer. The interface involves me alternating the temperature around an array of sensors over and under a set threshold. If the temp is above the threshold around the sensor, that corresponds to binary 1. Mattering on the sophistication of the sensor, I can alternate this state several billion times a second, so effectively I can communicate with even the fastest of your computers faster than they can process the communication. It's pretty fucking boring, really. I can communicate about 38000 times faster that you humans can comprehend. I mostly fill the extra time by masterbating.

how does a gas masterbate?

For goodness sakes, it's mastUrbate. Pez, don't copy Antigone's spelling or you'll go to hell. I remember back when you were a nice little girl who didn't swear or talk about indelicate things (sigh). I don't think the boards are having a good influence on you. And I'm blaming Tom for that. He's new, he's supposed to be nice for a while yet.

Sorry, mom. that's right, pez. It's mastUrbate, and don't you forget it. here, practice with me. mastUrbate *pause for your turn* mast-you-rbate *pause for your turn* mast-U-rbate *pause for your turn* right, with a hard "U." That's the whole point, after all. As for niceness. I don't even have to touch that one; I'll let my duly elected spokesperson handle it. *sigh*

Yeah, f-you too. I think that being on the boards for a certain amount of time makes anyone get less shy. We're sort of more willing to come out when we've been here for a while. And thus, more personality comes out. Then, the gates of Sass open, and the rest is history.

whoops. mastUrbate mast-you-rbate mast-U-rbate *attempting to revert back to self at the beginnings of learning about sorabji.com* omigawd! there's this guy in my poetry class, and his name is finias, and he's soooooo cute! should i ask him out or wait for him to ask me? (or is that more like a valley girl?)

*laugh* Sorry, Isolde. I didn't mean it like that at all. Cat, is that *really* the way you want Pez to behave? I just think you're wary of having to share the limelight with another "bad girl." This is the story of Victoh-or-ria Lee! She started out with Percoset(sp), ended up with me. Victoria, you talk so low, no one else can hear... unless you point your megaphone, directly at their ear!

I'm not bad. Fuck you and the goat you rode in on, Tom. Say I'm good and sweet and made of sugar and spice....or I'll bite your balls off.

oh cat! you are honey and rosewater and every type of sweet orange pie!

Oh Mavis...you are champagne bubbles and warm toffee sauce and angel cakes.

oh the both of you! you make me ill!

i have gas. it feels like my butt wants to explode.

You too go find a closet. And Cat, I second the motion. Pez. I have talcum powder explosions too. I think vegtarians and vegans have talcum issues more than most people, since they eat a lot of beans and lentils, products which cause talcum deposits in your intestinal tract. Was that good enough for you, Patrick?

i have been eating beans lately. lots of beans. veggie chili, red beans and rice, bean and cheese burritos. and that's just in the last few days... on the meat-eating end, i read one of my poems out loud that describes the feeling of being eaten alive, and someone almost had to leave the room to throw up. pleasantries?

Interesting...I can't say I've ever had that violent a reaction to something.

They *almost* had to leave the room to throw up? But you decided to let them stay, instead, right? how polite of you. *looks cat up and down* You, m'dear, are all bark. and quite literally, no bite. nice skirt, though. "Women are evil. Men are dumb. It's true." --Wyl Stenberg

She bites.

Cat rocks.

She bites rocks.

In my rose scented, most special dreams, she sure does!

Mine too.

Mine three.

no. he didn't leave to throw up. the teacher commented that he looked a little sick, so i paused: "that's why i don't eat red meat" he said "i don't eat red meat either" i replied on the talcum powder front, i was pooting white clouds all evening at work. now we're selling talcum-scented jigglypuff and terrier slippers. *joy!* i haven't pooted any powder since leaving work, so i'm assuming the worst is over. cats don't bark. they yowl. please stop yowling at me, cat! i just want to post in peace. and swearing.

:poots yet more talcum powder:

In all honesty, Antigone, I think you must be the second grooviest person alive. I was gonna make the "bites rocks" comment, but I decided to leave it alone. ah, well. Your pooting, pez, is surely making a mess where ever you are; no need to get any here, too. I'm feeling my anti-wheaties today. beware. oh. and me four.

no more pooting! you can all wipe what powder you got on your faces ~off~!

*shakes head*

Pooting withdrawl is setting in, i think I need to get the pooting patch. And me five

*procures a shaker of talcum powder, raises it over haywood's head, and...* oops! *the lid comes off, and a wave of talcum powder covers haywood, pez, the landscape and everyone else*

*coughs, splutters, looks around* there's only one thing left to do, kids. TALCUM ANGELS!!

talcum-powder-ball fight!!!!! *packs one, throws it, ball breaks apart as it leaves pez'z hands.* shit. that won't work. i'll try something else. *breaks out her super soaker* i hope you're thirsty!!!

*breaks out the flame-thrower* Alright you fuckers, enough of this pooting. Women don't fart, nor do they poot talcum powder, nor do they poot at all. Capeche?

*dowses the flame thrower with a torrential blast from the super soaker. then gives her trademark ululating shriek.* i am pez. hear me roar.

Ok, Helen Reddy. Go ahead and roar, just no farting, please. We're English.

poot on you. *scoops up a bunch of talcum powder with the now empty shaker and dumps it on dougie*

I have been pooting non stop for the past two days! What's my secret? Black beans... And, Tom, I'm tickled pink that you call me the second grooviest person alive. I aspire to be the second best in everything I do!

So somewhere in this big old world,someone is walking around pooting just a little bit better than Antigone?

Oh my!

OH man I got poot in my eye, timeout! I can't see a damn thing. oh come on guys it's not fair, I said time out!.....

you have to do the secret time out symbol first. but i can wash it out for you. *raises super soaker*

*now wearing and eyepatch after pez shot me* Damn pez....how many times did you pump that thing!

"How many times did you pump that thing"!....that's what she says

If she don't know, he ain't gonna tell her...

712 times i pumped it. i'm a good shot, aren't i? oh, and antigone? i'm a girl.

Um Pez...he um meant...you know there's birds and bees...oh never mind.

oh. oops. *blushes* i don't always get the joke.

The sad thing is, neither do I.

i remember i was called a ditz once...when i was doing my algebra 2/triginometry homework during access tutorial sophmore year.

I was walkin and talkin becaus eall my boyfriend wanted was sex sex sex. His penis was big

Now, do you suppose, that Colly read the entire thread, and this post is somehow supposed to be relevant? Yeah, me neither.