Friends?


sorabji.com: I need advice: Friends?
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Spiral on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 10:53 am:

    I have a friend that I haven't heard from in three weeks. I have no idea what it means and so I'm hoping for objectivity through you ladies and gentlemen. It started like this:

    I met this guy through a mutual friend. We hit it off, but I soon found that he liked me (I was seriously involved with someone else). So, after being chicken shit and just plain hoping it would go away, I finally told him that I could be his friend, but nothing more. I'm not the type to cheat. I didn't want to fuck with his head. It just isn't right. So, I got it aired (and feared never to hear from him again). Turns out he's cool with it.

    We started to hang out more together, and when my then boyfriend cheated on me, he was my rock. A totally awesome guy. I was too newly out of the fold though to handle anything, and I have had a crush on our mutual friend for a while.

    So, still, just friends. Well, one night (about three weeks ago), he tells me how he feels. And it just about tears me up. He's such a wonderful guy; and I hate to hear what I have done to him. But he was (is?) dating someone else. I refuse to be someone's second. So I told him, no, just friends. To make it easier on him, I asked if he wanted me to leave him be for a while. I really didn't want to screw with him. He said no, that he considered me a good friend, and that it would hurt him if I cut him off.

    I had to go away for about a week, but in that time, I started to think about him. About how great he had been, and so, I was going to tell him. To be honest, I hadn't figured out just how, but I knew I had to. I thought that maybe there was still a possibility for us. After all, he had said some really steamy stuff.

    Well, that's when I tried to call. And email. Call again. This has gone on now for about three weeks, and he doesn't return any of them.

    I don't know if I've pissed him off, or if he ended up needing a break from me. It hurts to think that I've lost a friend. I can handle a loss almost romance, but I value my friends. So now I have no idea what to do. I haven't tried to contact him in about a week. To be honest, I got in a huff and decided that if he wanted to talk to me, he knows where I am. But I miss talking to him, and want to know what he's up to. He was staring a tough decision in the face, and I wanted to be able to help if he needed it.

    So, after all this, what should I do? I'm at a loss.


By patrick on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 11:18 am:

    go bowling and forget about it.


By Nate on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 11:24 am:

    when i find myself in times of trouble, mother bourbon comes to me.

    drink until you puke and see who's there to hold your hair.


By semillama on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 11:50 am:

    Or take photos of you.

    Which you later use as album cover art.

    There's value in everything, you just have to find it.


By Spiral on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 06:58 pm:

    =) Thanks for the support. I think I'll try the bowling thing... that or I'll take in a show.


By J on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 02:45 pm:

    He's playing games with you. Ignore him and see what happens,put the ball in his court.


By wisper on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 07:16 pm:

    all you can do is wait.







    or show up in his back garden with a grappling hook, a large net, and some Cool Whip....if that's your style.

    But i do believe it's waiting time, what else can you do, really? Try to accept that it's waiting time. *hugs*


By Spiral on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 10:20 am:

    Thanks. I think you're right. I figure that I'll just happily go about my life, and if he's too silly to realize that he's messing up his chance, then so be it. =) I refuse to put my life on hold. But it would be nice to know if I still have a friend in him.


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