It's a mystery,AND,it's disgusting!


sorabji.com: I need advice: It's a mystery,AND,it's disgusting!
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Czarina on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 11:58 am:

    This is pretty gross,so some of you may not want to read this.And,its really disgusting,too.

    It has nothing to do with the tradgey,we are trying to recover from.But I have remained so despondent,that I almost welcome this diversion.Almost.

    I'm at work last night,[which I had hoped would get my mind off all the stuff I keep worrying about,but it didn't]

    Anyway,at one point,I go into the employee bathroom,which is behind the nurses station,so no patients have access to it.

    I'm sitting on the potty,peeing,and just kinda look around,and directly across from me,there is titty pink tile,about half way up the wall,and I notice some "objects de art" all lined up symetrically in a row,on the top of it.So I think,"Well,WTF is that?".[this is a clean bathroom,the houskeeping lady is dilligent,and comes every morning,to give our titty pink tile a shine]

    Confused,I look up at the ceiling,to see if maybe something has fallen from there,but the ceiling was in good shape,and nothing that could have fallen,could have lined up that neatly.

    So I'm baffled.I get off the pot,and step closer,to have a better look,and get completely grossed out!

    Its little buggar balls,all lined up in a row!

    I'm just fucking tripping.I can't believe what my eyes are seeing.What kind of deranged employee would do such a thing? YUCK

    As abhorrent as this site was,I needed confirmation,that I was indeed seeing what I thought I was seeing,so I holler out to the other nurse,Tracey,[the one with the "cow eyes",but she's pretty},to come have a look.

    She's as appalled as me.She's very suspicious and rather paranoid,by nature,[frankly,she'll probably be a patient one day,but she is a competent nurse].

    So,she's as freaked out as me,and tells me[for the umpteenth time],"I'm telling you,L*****,that they are hiring some really weird new help."

    "Who do you think could have done this?" I ask her.

    "Hmmph,could have been any of them,they're all weird." She says.

    Trying to pinpoint her,I ask,"But who do you think?"

    "Could be Shirley,she's weird."She says.

    "You think its Shirley?" I ask.

    "Could be Manuel,he's weird."She says.

    "You think Manuel would do something like this?" I ask.

    "Could be Keith,he's weird,too." She says.

    As you can see,she is absolutely NO help.

    She has named the three new employees who are working with us last night.

    I say,"I bet its Keith,I think he's weird,too."

    "I don't know,I know him from church.I don't think he'd do something like that." She says.

    I reply,"You just said you thought he was weird."

    "He is weird." She says.

    Now,these buggar balls are pretty good sized,the biggest being about half the size of a kernel of corn.So somebody had to work,to do this.There were three good sized ones,and a little bity one,that they maybe just got started on.

    "Oh,lets wipe that off of there,its disgusting!" She says.

    I reply,"No,I want to know who did this.Lets take a picture,and we'll monitor them throughout the night,to see if they get bigger,or more,whenever someone goes into the bathroom."

    "Good thinking." She says.

    So we did just that.She held 2 pen-lights,so we could see them better,and I got a polaroid shot.[a picture really does say a thousand words]

    So everytime one of them went into the bathroom,we would go and check to see if there were any changes.There weren't.But we did notice that Keith seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time in there.And we got very excited when we heard him blow his nose loudly,and for a long time.

    My moneys on Keith.Church or no church.I think he's the buggar boy.

    He's weird.He used to work at a funeral home,and he liked his job.He talks about his mother, alot.And he said that John Wayne was gay.I realize that this is all circumstantial evidence,but that long nose blow,was what really made me suspicious.We could hear it,way out at the nurses desk.[our eyes got BIG,as we looked at each other,when we heard that honker]

    The other possible culprits profiles:

    Manuel,who studied to be a priest,but isn't.Is married to a paraplegic woman,but doesn't have sex with her,or even masturbate,to the point that he had to go to the doctor,and get medicine,because he "has pain down there".[I must have one of those faces,people tell me all kinds of personal things]

    Plus,unfortunately,at the last facility he worked at,a psychotic patient,attacked and stabbed to death the doctor,and Manuel was the one who went and tried to help the doc.As the doc was bleeding to death,he asked Manuel,"Why did you let him stab me?"
    This has haunted this poor man.It was not Manuels fault.He came in after the fact,to try and help.But,obviously,this has left deep scars,for which he has had to get psychiatric help for.I personally like Manuel,but have to admit,that he is a little odd.And I have seen him on several occasions,dig in his ears with a key.[which I want to slap out of his hand],so I guess he could be a possible buggar baller.But I like him.And if its him,well,I understand,and still will be fond of him.

    The other new person,Shirley.Came from the same facility as Manuel.I have a very good friend who works there,who warned me that "she takes things".
    I said,"What,you mean money?" She said,"Oh,everything.Money,coats,food,you name it."
    I said,"she steals from the staff?"She said,"Well,yes,and the patients,too.Its been going on for years,but its really hard to fire a state employee.Just watch your stuff."But she's very good with the patients.She's been with us about a month and nothing has come up missing.And she is good with the patients.

    But Tracey noticed that she lies.Tracey said that on 2 occasions,she had seen her do something,and then when questioned,denied doing it.It wasn't big stuff,and no need to lie about it.One time,she was stuffing empty charts,[so they'd be ready when we got patients],and another tech mentioned that it wasn't done correctly,and was gonna show her how,and she denied that she'd stuffed them at all.It wasn't a big thing,and the other employee is very nice,so I know it wasn't an accusatory thing,more of a "let me show you how we do it here" type of thing.The other caught lie,she was xeroxing papers to put in the charts,and state requires that the form number be visible,and she has accidentally cut the number off.No big deal.But Tracey was standing next to her when she copied them,and then when Tracy was made aware of the situation,and was gonna show her to make sure the number was on it,she said she never made the copies.

    So who do you think the buggar baller is?

    I have to admit,that at one point Tracey said,"Oh,thats probably some of your trick stuff."

    To which I had to admit,that I am in posession of some fake snot,but I do not have any fake buggars,and I had nothing to do with this nasty activity.

    Then,when the dilligent housekeeper came in this morning,and wiped the buggers away,Tracey thought it might have been the housekeeping lady,who put them there.[Which obviously makes no sense,at all.But just goes to reinforce my thinking that Tracey is very paranoid.]I have no doubt that Tracey did not put the buggers there.She may be paranoid,but she's not a bugger baller.

    So,who do you think did it?


By Hal on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 12:07 pm:

    Some patient snuck in, picked their nose, and balled it up on the wall all nice and pretty for you.

    I doubt its the guy blowing his nose, he's actually blowing his nose, boogers that end up on walls are most likely not blown from the nose they are probably picked. Its more of a mining operation then a dynamiting one.


By Czarina on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 12:17 pm:

    No way a patient could have gotten in there.If there is no staff at the desk,the doors are always locked.It was an employee.

    And it was a definite mining operation.Those buggar balls were nicely formed.


By M on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 12:19 pm:

    My money's on Keith. I think he's your boy. He reminds me of a "friend" in college who'd put buggers on my car's rear-view mirror - the car couldn't be locked. Someone also planted some plants in the door pockets. There was no place to drive so I just left it all there.


By J on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 12:27 pm:

    I say it's Manuel,I don't know why,it's just my gut feeling.And if you ever do need to come up with some "trick" boogers,that crap they use to stick perfume samples and such in magazines will do the trick.


By pez on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 01:48 pm:

    that stuff is weeeeeeeird.

    but it does make the best fake boogers.

    there's a clown that drives around pdx in a car that's decorated with green-gray skulls and fake leaves. he's been known to play with puppets and things while driving, but i saw him with a monkey.


By The Watcher on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 04:56 pm:

    All I can say is the world is full of some really strange people.


By M on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 08:42 pm:

    pez, why do you call it pdx? i have my ideas but i'd like to hear yours.


By PdxM on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 10:36 pm:

    ah, three letter abbreviation for portland airport


By dave. on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 12:56 am:

    i dunno, czarina but i have a noisy bus that is
    interfering with my radio reception. i'll trade
    you a booger on the wall for my noisy bus.

    i put my boogers on elevator buttons. hee!


By Xyrea on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 11:49 am:

    Ewww! The only thing worse that I can think of is that while I was in high school, we had a very rough rivalry with a neighboring town. (Little towns love to hate each other when it comes to sports, so it was a big deal for everyone.)

    At one particular event, we were hosting a basketball even for the girls' teams. When a visiting girls team goes to our town, they are put in the boys locker room to change. Well, we won the game... but they got us back something rotten.

    When the janitor went in to clean up, he found a wall of tampons and pads... some of which had been used. It was nasty.


By Eri on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 12:17 pm:

    That is nasty. I know about those small towns, though. I went to high school in the middle of the desert. We were the Sun Devils and our rivals were the jackrabbits. Usually before the "Bell Game" (winner kept bell and painted it school colors) Victor High would find it's lawn covered in dead jackrabbits. People are sick and you never know what they can do.

    I do believe those booger balls had to be picked, though. I have a 7 year old. Need I say more?


By patrick on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 12:20 pm:

    i admit i havent read a god damn word of this thread....

    for no real reason...

    but check this out...


    go to MS Word

    type "NYC" in 48 sized font.

    highlight it and select "webdings" font.

    see the neat message

    now, highlight and select "wingdings" font.

    see the evil


    MS is evil


By Alex on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 12:56 pm:

    ooh now thats evil!




    have you heared about the sick t-shirts postcards etc on sale now?
    i.e i survived WTC alive etc?

    'genuine rubble' on sale

    whats up with people?


By Czarina on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 02:30 pm:

    That is weird.

    From now on when I get on an elevator,I'll get someone else to push my button.


By Platypus on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 05:07 pm:

    That's really wierd, Patrick.

    From now on, I won't get on elevators.


By pez on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 05:19 pm:

    from now on, i'll wear gloves.


By monit on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 06:17 pm:

    im pushing the button with my elmo.


By Czarina on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 08:40 pm:

    elmo?


By Eri on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 09:50 pm:

    Elmo?


By Alex on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 06:37 am:

    perhaps she has a little red Elmo from Sesame Street that she takes around with her everywhere, for emergencies?














    or she might of meant elbo?


By M on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 10:42 am:

    I came across a Canadian Tickle Me Elmo
    that spoke in French when you squeezed it
    "Ou, La-La!"
    The laugh was the same tho.
    very amusing


By pez on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 01:35 pm:

    elmo an francais....

    bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!


By moonit on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 07:38 pm:

    I did mean elbow. Sorry.

    It's a mel and jules joke thing.


By wisper on Monday, September 24, 2001 - 03:40 pm:

    damnit Cza, who cares who did it, show us the
    pic!


By Czarina on Monday, September 24, 2001 - 11:02 pm:

    Okay.I'll have to take it to a friends tomorrow,cause I never can make my scanner work.
    Be warned,its buggar nasty.


By Czarina on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 11:26 am:

    I have news,and updates too!

    First,I'm pretty sure Manuel is the boogar baller.

    Besides being an earwax/key digger,he's also a non-toilet-flusher.

    I think it is safe to assume,that the above mentioned behaviors,would indicate that one would not hesitate to be a boogar ball maker.

    Now for my news!

    The "blonde bitch with the cow-eye's" quit!!!!!!!

    Yippeee skippy!!!!!!!!

    She has been a thorn in my paw,since taking this job.

    We are celebrating at work.[secretly,we don't want to hurt her feelings]

    The old,decrepit security guard,who can barely walk,actually jumped up in the air,with joy!I saw it with my own eyes.He was airborne.[he is so old,that we have had to physically catch him,on more than one occasion,when he tries to get up from a chair,from toppling over]

    So,we are all very pleased that she is leaving us.
    Unfortunately,I think she will be back.We all do.She does not have the personality,that would enable her to move into a new position.[people just don't like her]

    So,I have started a "pool",like those football pools,where you pay,and pick a number,on how long it will take her to come back.

    Of interest,is something that happened on the last night we worked.

    Remember,she is VERY paranoid.Well,she tells me,she saw Keith,[a tech],looking very suspicious,so she decided to watch him.

    She was all upset,[and I don't blame her,this is pretty weird].She says she saw him put HER toothbrush,back in her little mail slot.[a little plastic slot,where we get our memo's]

    She keeps her toothbrush there,all nicly[anal retentatively],wrapped in a paper towel.

    She said he was being furtive.So,I asked her if she asked him what he was doing with it.She should have confronted him about it,right then and there.

    She didn't confront him.Instead she was was trying to slyly figure out if he had his own toothbrush.[we have toothbrushes there,so he could have gotten one of his own]but he showed her his toothbrush from home.

    So,instead of just asking him why he had her toothbrush,she's all freaking out about it.I voluntereed to ask him about it for her.

    She said,"Well,what would you say?"

    I said I would simply ask him,"Hey,what were you doing with Traceys toothbrush?"

    "Oh no!!!!" she says,"Don't do that!"

    She's a fucking idiot.Ya,its much better to freak out about it,and imagine all kinds of horrible things,than to actually get to the truth.Dumb bitch.

    So,I couldn't help myself.After hearing about it for the umpteenth time that night,on one occasion when she kept annoying me about it,and asking over and over what he was doing with it,I stuck my ass out,and made wiping motions with my hand.

    She said,with her big cow-eyes,"THATS JUST WHAT I WAS THINKING!!!!!!!"

    At one point,during the night,she actually said to me:

    "What if he was putting anthrax on it?"

    She saw the look of utter disbelief on my face,as I replied:

    "And just where do you think he would get anthrax?"

    "I was just kidding",she replied.But she wasn't.

    I have no idea what Keith was doing with her toothbrush,but I'm glad he didn't have mine!


By eri on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 01:52 pm:

    Maybe he got the anthax off of his ass as he was using the toothbrush and maybe he did this before and she already has it but doesn't know it.

    Anyways, that was funny, and I am definately glad it wasn't your toothbrush.


By J on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 07:07 pm:

    Maybe he was cleaning the toilet with her toothbrush,maybe he can't stand her either and it gives him some small comfort.


By BigLoo on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 01:28 pm:

    Maybe he was cleaning booger balls off of a titty pink tile.


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