Sometimes I think my life is a little like a car crash, that I seem to be watching, but can't actively pull myself out of the wreckage. Sometimes I can't work out if its everybody else thats fucked up, or if its just me. Yeah, I can tell you stories of the guys that hit on me... the stories are all true and they always make people laugh. I joke about being a loser magnet, but it seems to be true. I put 20c in a fortune machine at a gypsy fair and got 'The opposite sex find you interesting and attractive' and thats another story that leads to the magnet theory. I'll make you laugh, and I'll develop a crush, but its something that will never eventuate, and you know why? Because you're unobtainable to me, And this means that because you're unobtainable I won't get hurt.

have you tried sleeping with girls?

wait....that would probably compound your frustration.

I'm not frustrated as such, i'm just really annoyed with myself. I seem to be 15 again. I have three crushes on three different males. One I've never even talked to - he works and lives near me - yesterday I walked past him and nearly tripped over my own shoes, because I'm quite cool like that.

i revealed a crush last night, and it was't mutual. *sigh* i know the feeling. you shy, moonit?

Damnit.... I never said that... Who are the other 2 moonit darlin?

Yeah kinda shy, and also scared. Having crushes on unobtainable boys means no pain. You would laugh if you saw the guy I nearly tripped over my shoes on. he's so not me, the best thing about him is his long caramel coloured hair.

variety is the spice of life, moonit. talk to him (though i'd prolly do the same).

No I can't. I haven't got anything to say.

Hello, how are you? That usually works. So does "Hi my name is (insert name here)". I know cliche but it can open the door to a conversation.

who doesnt feel like a dumbass doing that though? aside from church retreats where you're supposed to make 5 new friends/gods helpers, its a rarity people walk up to someone out of the blue and introduces themselves.

Then I must be a rare person, because I do it all of the time. I don't go to church retreats to make friends. I hardly even go to church anymore. Haven't found any I liked out here. If I want to meet someone or get to know someone I simply walk up and introduce myself and start a conversation. Then again, I have always been outgoing and extremely social. I thrive on social activity.

im really just included that church bit because i was reading something recently....something I can't recall....in which the narrator was on a church retreat to Florida, and on the bus they had to make 5 new friends with such introductions. im socially needy too, i just can't walk up to a stranger and introduce myself. Im not that extroverted and i usually am made pretty uncomfortable by anyone who does.

i am not extremely social but i introduce myself on occasion later people will remark about remembering the time i introduced myself- like it was interesting, though it's probably because i said something not quite appropriate.

I just don't worry about it. I probably do scare off some people by being so extraverted, but on the same token, I am married to one of the most introverted people I have ever met. I didn't scare him off :P. I guess I just don't even think about it. I am me and you either love me or hate me. It really doesn't matter.

My mean sister made me go to church with her once,and at the end the church guy told everyone to start hugging their fellow churchgoers.It was creepy.

I like old 80s music

I think that would be weird, too. I don't want to hug all of my fellow church goers. Just close friends and family. I like old 80s music, too. I like just about all types of music, except country music.

I am feeling so mean today. Snarl, snarl. This breakup has been so devastating. I could hardly breathe last week. This week I'm sure I stopped breathing last week and I'm now in a frozen coma. So I'm going to cope the only way I know how. By running away. I cried while I was loading up my suitcase because it was all supposed to be different this time. Ah well. I bounce.

breakup? did you mention this somewhere? im known to overlook important things. Im sorry you're sad. Girls crying get to me like ghetto doggies and kitties do. i was once at a traffic light and looked over and saw this woman bawling....i felt so bad. She was driving a nice car, BMW or something, she looked to be in her mid 30s. After I left the light I started to imagine this woman coming home and finding her executive husband stickin it to his secretary, or perhaps the maid. I imagined her darting for the car, taking a huge rail from her compact/coke holder and screeching the tires out of the million dollar driveway. In my imagination she drove all the way to the beach, slept in the car and came home in the morning when her executive husband was at work and packed up all her things. She's divorced now and spending his money like mad. are you running this way meowmeow?

Yeah, sorry to hear that Cat.

No sympathy or I'll kick you. Snarl.

Of course in an hour I'll be cursing because no one cares.

Sorry Cat. There's a SHIT LOAD of beautiful dudes here in Florida. Let me know if you need a nice vacation.

ahh yes, the Redneck Riviera.

kick some ass Cat. Kick it. anyway you want to

Beats your life by far, dear ole little loser Patty. MY bills are PAID. IN FULL. Suck off, slime bag.

what exactly do you think you know about my life Dani? once again a bright and upstanding post by Ft. Lauderdale's very own Lady Chatterly, miss dani.

Do you expect someone who lives in Florida and can say "Suck off slimebag" to be anything other than "brigh and upstanding"?

I Dont know/care anything about your life Patty. Obviously you know nothing about mine. I dont live in Ft. Lauderdale, stupid. Never did. You just took the bright and upstanding title. Enjoy.

ok genius...you said this "Beats your life by far, dear ole little loser Patty" implying you have knowledge of my life. you're making a comparison, as if you have knowledge of my life to compare against. Once again Dani, you go lobbing and flailing moronic insults around like drool from Rottweilers flappy gums. try and follow along now....i KNOW i don't KNOW where you live in FL..."Ft. Lauderdale" just fit with my insult best. and Bubbles, being from the south myself, no, i don't make such assumptions, its just Dani just has a fantastic history of demonstrating how retarded she really is.

I believe your the one crying all the time about how broke you are. Loser. So you see Patty Cakes, I DO know a little about your pathetic life. Grow up and be financially responsible. You stirred shit up once again with your little redneck riviera comment. And you call me a retard? For each time you dish your shit out to me, you'll get it right back. Thought you would have learned by now. Retard.

i HATE it when people use 'retarded' as an insult. it is disgusting. it really frustrates me when people think they are so progressive and they use 'retard' as an insult. disgusting.

Oh please.

i don't like retreds, they never seem to last

Dani, if you had any wits, you would have realized Bell jar was talking to me. and yes Dani, financially my wife and i are tight these days, Its not a matter "Grow(ing) up and be(ing) financially responsible" as you say. Its a matter that we decided to take the leap into starting our own business a year ago, which takes more balls than you can fit in that big mouth of yours. Everyone knows that starting your own business from scratch takes patience and sacrifice. Anyone who has knowledge of the fashion business knows you don't make your millions over night because what we are working on now will not be instores until August and September, so its a slow turnaround process. I'm still failing to see how insulting my financial situation, which is really none of your business, was somehow meant to insult me. But I continually learn that making sense of anything you say is a fools errand.

patrick- it was written regarding your post, but it isn't just you. i've even heard people in my social work classes use it. dani- if you don't want to be referred to as a redneck, stop acting like one.

lookee hir, who's yu' callin' ah redneck?

No Patrick, I didn't post about it because I can't. The feelings are too black and horrible to share. And I don't want you to know what a total loser I really am. I thought he was the one, which is infinitely stupid. I'm ashamed to tell you how dumb I was to ever think it would work and how I ruined everything in the end anyway.

dumb? I doubt that. He must have been hung. *scurries*

blah blah blah..same boring shit out of your big mouth Patty. It never changes. Your little redneck riviera comment was a lame, failed attempt to insult me so I was totally justified insulting your pathetic financial situation. I know more about owning your own business than you will ever know. Guaranteed you'll fail at that as well. Who gives a fuck who Bell Jar was talking to. My use of the word retard is not meant at insulting the mentally reatrded. Duh. It's just another way of expressing how stupid you think someone is. The common idiot would know that. Patty, your a loser. Bell Jar, pick a finger. Your opinion of me means about as much as Patty's does...nothing. You, or anyone else can refer to me as a redneck or whatever else you can muster up because it dont bother me at all. A person has to actually care to be bothered, which I dont so call me what you please. Have fun.

Why you picking on us idiots?

"My use of the word retard is not meant at insulting the mentally reatrded. Duh. It's just another way of expressing how stupid you think someone is." Whether it was intended to insult the mentally retarded or not, it did, and does. As a parent of children with developmental delay, although not mentally retarded, growth retarded, this hits home. It is an insult to my children, who came out early and were developmentally delayed. Even these children are frequently referred to as "retarded". Because they are small, or because they don't walk at the same time as other kids, or because they are behind because they have to progress at a normal rate while making up for months lost in the womb. It is a statement of ignorance plain and simple. It is proclaimed and used freely by the simple minded. It IS AN INSULT whether it is intended that way or not. If not seeing that you were insulting patrick and taking offense to your statements regarding why it is allright to call someone retarded makes me an idiot, then what does it make you? I have always liked you even though I don't always agree with you. Now you can take your idiotic, self righteous, ingnorant statements and fuck off.

we've become such a clinical society. to me, using the word "retarded" to refer to someone who is mentally or physically disabled one way or another is just as backwards as saying someone who has been deaf since birth is "dumb". Are you just as sensitive to that word bell jar, eri? Because technically thats what the word "dumb" came to mean. The word, "retarded" has evolved just like the word "dumb" has as far as its usage. If im referring to someone with, say, MD or DS i wouldn't refer to them as "retarded".

Actually, the word "dumb" refers to the condition of being mute, not being deaf. You retard.

right, i know this. chances are, someone who has been deaf since birth probably doesnt have the ability to speak. pay attention sem. the shortbus is waiting for you. (disclaimer. I am in now way shape or form someone who is terribly knowledgable on the deaf, as has been previous demonstrated. Im sure there are plenty of people who have been deaf since birth and have decent speaking abilities, im just trying to make a point.)

I dunno, I call my sister a "ree-tard" all the time joking around with her and think nothing of it. However, when somebody jokes about "loonies" or "crazies" or whatever, I bristle because my wife was schizophrenic, and to me, what she went through was no laughing matter. I guess everybody's got their own version of what's politically correct because certain things hit closer to home than others.

I agree with you dougie. Everyone lives in a different reality. I guess to be honest my issue is with those who proclaim to use the word "retard" in a way that is inappropriate to the meaning of the word thus contorting it to mean something negative that it does not. Used clinically, is different. "If im referring to someone with, say, MD or DS i wouldn't refer to them as "retarded"." This is exactly my point. What you have said doesn't bother me. While on the other side, proclaiming your ignorance while using something that blatantly refers to my children and putting a deliberate spin on it does. By saying that you use it to show how stupid you think someone is is different than joking about it. You are using it as a deliberate, and ignorant, intelligence insult, making the dumbass assumption that all people who are "retarded" are stupid. Not true. Both of my daughters are geniuses, but are "retarded" in growth. For years I had people asking me if something was wrong with Hayley, assuming that it was mental and not physical, because her head was bigger than her body. That was a direct result of the toxemia I had while pregnant with her and she outgrew this when she was about 5 years old. My children are commonly referred to as "retards" by the ignorant, when they are just small physically and superior to most mentally. When people proclaim some dumbass right to use it as a direct insult on intelligence and it is not used in fun, joking with friends, then I take insult. I wasn't poking at you Patrick, because I understand how you meant it. You were playing a game of wits. Unfortunately your opponent couldn't follow suit and had to say that all people who didn't understand where she was coming from were idiots. Sometimes a little bit of class can go a long way. By the way, if someone did call any of my kids "dumb" because of the fact that they are growth retarded, I would take offense, because that would be based on ignorance. If they called me dumb, because of a lack of knowledge, I would take it as a sign to learn more about it. People can insult me and I either don't care or use it as something to learn from, but when people say things that I have heard around my kids or effect my kids, or any other loved one for that matter, then I take offense. This usually comes into effect in matters of intelligence, sanity or character. I guess it is those insults I take offense to. Again, not for myself, but those that effect my loved ones. BLah, blah, blah. Now I am rambling so I will shut up.

i was paying attention. I just can't resist making awful awful jokes.

Eri, I'm not sure who your post was meant for or who exactly it was that you were telling to fuck off but let me say this...I would never be as cruel as to intentionally insult an actual retarded person. And if I offended you with the retard word, that was not my intention. I use the word as an expression. Like when I tell Patty to go fuck himself, I dont actually expect him to. Or when I tell Patty to eat me, I dont exactly spread my legs and await his tongue. Or when I tell him to drop dead, I dont really want him to die.( perhaps getting clipped with a Mack truck wouldnt be to bad). Or when I call him an asshole, I'm not actually comparing him to his rectum. Or...nevermind, you get the hint. Although I could have went on for hours with that.Hm. My friend Tara and her little girl both have Muscular Dystrophy. ( bad spelling) and when her and I go out together, we call each other retards all night. She's not offended at all. My daughter goes to M.D. functions with them all the time. Thats my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Oh, and about your last post Eri...fuck you too. I'd like to know just where in the hell your class is because it's never ever been displayed here.

Cat,I'm really sorry. Its not nice to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves. "There,for the grace of God,go I." ['cept I don't believe in him,but I do believe that any of us could be stricken at any moment with something that would completely alter our lives,so try not to make fun of those in less fortunate circumstances.]

Good point Bell Jar. I prefer "fucktard" or some variation for my insults. Semtard. :p

stupid point, bell jar. people use the word 'idiot' all the time, no one gets offended. retard has entered the langauge with a meaning other than 'mentally retarded'. hell, it started in the language without being associated with mental retards. it's like the uproar over the use of 'niggardly'.

niggardly retards, the lot of you...

You're all a bunch of sorabjitards.

drunk fucks

Stupid point indeed. It's all bullshit. Just something to bitch about. Get over it.

BAH! fuckin retards gettin uppity about diction. please take offense

HI MEL! (I must yell to be heard over the bickering). I miss you, do you miss me? I always get hooked on boys I can't have, because I don't really want them. but now I think I Do want them and I can't turn off my habit of going for boys I can't have. Boys smell like bum, you know. LOVE, MEL

Hi Mel! Yeah mate I miss you. You're a funny munchkin. I don't like any boys any more. They are all fuckheads and yes, they do smell funny. Love, Mel