dealing with being cheated on


sorabji.com: I need advice: dealing with being cheated on
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Toulon99 on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 10:04 am:

    So here is my story.

    My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. She suffers from Vaginismus which means I have not had sexual intercourse during that time. She gives amazing head and can be quite sexual so I survive from that, but I really rely on masturbation. I came to a point about a 1 1/2 ago where I stopped wanting to fool around with her since we would build ourselves up and then that POINT where you know you want to make love and I couldn't. I can't thrust my hips I can't finish the course. So it is easier for me to not even get to that point. So I just jerk off and avoid the issue. Maybe twice a month we will be passionate.

    I am also not very affectionate with her and can sometime be really mean and hurtful. This stems from the sex, or lack there of. But it also stems from me not being as fully in love with her as I was my ex (whom I am still not over). Both of us are very honest and open about everything which is good cause we get this shit out in the open but I never permanetely change my behaviour.

    there is more to all this but I don't feel like writing 3 years worth of baggage. You have a general idea now.

    Well 2 weeks ago I up and went to a college 30 min north of here to visit two friends (girls). I told my girl and she was quite cool. She was not worried about me. SO I went north and she went to a concert that we were both supposed to attend (a friend was playing, I had seen him before. Well she ends up meeting the guitarist for the band after and they hit it off. So I get back home 2 days later and she tells me about him and they carry on phone and IM correspondence everyday. Sometimes 3 hours on the phone. Well I know she needs and wants the attention. Attention and affection that I don't always giveher. Plus I am her first so she also has that baggage. Well this guitarist who is also in a 3 year relationship invites my mate up to "northeast city" since his girlfriend is out of town. I tell Her to go and do what she wants. We both knew she would end up cheating on me. She had trouble leaving but she did. I was here alone for two days while she gave and recieved head from another. I thought I could deal with it but I am finding it very hard. I told her to tell me everything that happened between them. It is not like a fling that she could keep quite and me not ever know about. I knew it was happening. I knew when they were doing it. So yesterday morning she told me what happened. Then she had last night to spend with him and it happened, of course, again. I know what shape his cock is. I know he is better at giving her head then I am. I made her tell me these things. I don't know why.


    We are young 22 and 23. "It is better to regret things you have done then regret things you haven't" Right? She still loves me. I still love her. I am also jealous. While she was experiencing someone new I was torturing myself. While she was being spooned by another I was alone in our bed. Thinking about them. I haven't eatin in a day and a half. I was at the Gov't Mule concert last night. A four hour concert and I new what they were doing while I was there. I couldn't stop my mind from battering my emotions.


    ughhh.....This post probable makes no sense but I don't want to reread it and edit it. I just wanted to get some things off my chest. She leaves in a few hours. I will see her tonight. I want to slap her. I want to kill myself. Seriously pictured it last night. I want to honor my words in that I told her to go. I told her to enjoy herself. I don't know why. Maybe cause now i can go fuck someone, getting what I NEED, with out having guilt. Cause I will be paying her back.


    Fuck life is hard. I am an idiot y'all. She is an amazing girl and I am throwing her away.


    James


By eri on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 10:24 am:

    Wow, this is a new one to me. It sounds like the problems go back quite a ways and things have not been where they should be for a while. Like it started with A which caused B and now this is like the progression of all of the previous baggage. The question is, is this something that you can come to terms with? If you are open enough to talk about what happened, why can't you be open enough to talk about how you feel about it honestly? If the love is still there, then maybe she is waiting for you to fight for her, so that you can work on what you have and make it more of what you both want. Then again, maybe it is time to say, I am not what you want, I can't give you what you need, and maybe it is time to let go. I don't know. I have never been in these shoes. I have been cheated on by two people, one of which I dumped before I found out about it, and the other was my ex-husband, after we were separated, and I knew about it and divorced his lying ass, though for other reasons. I don't know if I could be big enough to say, go for it and tell me the details later. I couldn't handle that.

    All I can truly say is good luck, whichever way it goes.


By patrick on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 11:43 am:

    end this torture. is she saving sex for marriage? its obviously causing a problem for you, and the subsequent resentment that seeps from you is a problem for her. this is a no win situation.

    end it. and move on.

    asking to know all the details was just foolish. thats just shooting yourself in the foot.


By Toulon99 on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 01:07 pm:

    no she is not saving sex for marriage. She has no religous baggage either that would be holding her back. She is french and is from a quite liberal family where she knows about her divorced parents infidelities and such. And she can be qutie sexual. She was very shy and inhibited when we first met but has come out of that shell almost completely. The only thing is this fear of penetration.


    Vaginismus is a psycological fear of penetration which after a while it becomes physical because the muscles become so tight and taught. When that happens you have to stretch them and losen them with dilators that progress in size to ultra-sound to help relax the muscles. This can be caused by sexual abuse, having a child, in our case from what we(my girl, me, her mom)have hypothesized that she never wanted to grow up.

    I'll post more when I get back from work and have thought things out more.


By patrick on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 01:22 pm:

    "Vaginismus".

    i feel foolish. when i saw this, i thought you were being facetious with some made up term.

    understood.


By J on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 01:48 pm:

    She doesn't have sex,but she saw his dinky? Did I miss something? Was she giving him oral sex? The French thing might be a factor.


By Gee on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 02:56 pm:

    she needs a shrink.



    ps...you fucked up.


By patrick on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 03:01 pm:

    ps...she fucked up. she cheated.


By Gee on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 03:21 pm:

    It's not cheating if you have permission. He fucked up.


By patrick on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 03:32 pm:

    if she had any respect for him should wouldnt have taken:

    "I tell Her to go and do what she wants."

    as an invitation to cheat. please. thats absurd. if she wants to cheat, she should just leave him.

    hell...nico asks me things like that i say absent-mindedly say "yeah sure, whatever you want"...i wouldnt expect her to take that as a invitation carte blanche to cheat.

    lets not refocus blame here missy.


By spunky on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 03:34 pm:

    "I know he is better at giving her head then I am."
    Did anyone else follow that part?
    Did she and the guitarist have "penetration", or just oral???


By heather on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 03:57 pm:

    she doesn't have sex

    goddamn, it's the easiest part of the story to understand


By semillama on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 04:59 pm:

    She isn't getting what she wants, he isn't
    getting what he wants.

    Break the fuck up already. It's pretty obvious.

    If she can't relax enough with you to control the
    vaginismus or however it's spelled, it's
    probably partly due to the fact you aren't
    affectionate with her at other times. If you can't
    be affectionate with her in a non-sexual way,
    well, tough.

    Why torture yourself? Go try to find someone
    who likes intercourse and have a happier life.

    Why does it take someone like ME to point
    this shit out?


By dave. on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 05:51 pm:

    better yet -- hook her up with the 'llama.


By J on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 05:52 pm:


By Dougie on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 06:32 pm:

    "...be assured that masturbating DOES lead to blindness, pimples, the flu, unsteadiness and shaky writing, yellow teeth, excessive ear wax, a runny nose and loss of hearing."

    Damn, so that's what's giving me yellow teeth. I thought it was smoking. I'm so relieved!


By heather on Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 07:31 pm:

    "Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. If the good company seems hesitant to have you along with them, be persistent. Just hang around with them no matter what. They will get use to you sooner or later."


By Dougie on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 08:49 am:

    Hey, that's exactly what I did here. I think everybody's used to me by now.


By Toulon99 on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 11:45 am:

    I think it is a bit of both, Gee and Patrick. I did fuck up by saying to go. And now I will have to deal with it.

    But shit did she really have to do it. Fucking hell, while I was home alone thinking about it. Well she did so now I have to come to whatever terms I need to come to.

    She got home last night. We cried a lot and talked and have come to absolutely no specific thought. She is still the same person. She sat on the couch and ate a brownie as per usual. She hasn't changed. She has just been with another guy. And from a different view point she has matured and grown from it. All she had known was me and I do contend that no relationship can really thrive if either or both parties have regrets of things they didn't do. I have regrets as it is that I have missed out on the "prime" sex years of my life. But hopefully she will start to work on her problem. Going to counseling and actually starting her exercises. She says she wants to. She says she only confirmed how much she loves me and how "beautiful I am. Convienent I know but there really can be truth in that.

    to clear up anything she is sexually liberated. She just can't have intercourse or anal (but that is cause she doesn't like the feeling). Everything else is fine and none of it is taboo.
    she never wanted to grow up when she was going through puberty. She didn't want her period or breasts and she mentally fought not to get them. That is where her problem lies or so we have all come to that conclusion. It is up to her to make the decision to face her fear of sex now. SHe has come into her own as a woman in all aspects of life accept for insertion. Her dependence on her parents has virtually gone. Some of it disspersed onto me. But I depend on her as well. Anyway she has overcome a lot of her hangups. Shit she just cheated on me.

    I am still scattered. I go from forgiving her to wanting her to hating her to wanting to slap her.

    I think I will be able to deal after this initial emptiness. Idealistically, which is sometimes probable, we will become stronger and closer.

    Semillana, we are not getting what we want but does that mean we should break up? I don't know. It is something we are dealing with now.

    Since I can't talk to any of my friends about this I am glad I can post here in a interestingly theraputic way. I am also thankful for the comments. I apologize for any fragmented bizarre illogical sentences I write.




By patrick on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 12:12 pm:

    dude you are totally misguided.

    wait....so she has had ongoing psychological problems (so bad its affected her physically) of never wanting to grow up, yet she's grown by blowing another guy?

    do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

    You have not missed out on the "prime" of your sex life. What a load of poop. That whole crap about women at 30 and men at 18 is not always accurate and gets more merrit that it deserves. Sexual prime is more than just hormones.

    Sexual prime is confidence, lack of inhibitions, and comfort. Things that the both of you are lacking.

    Maybe breaking up isnt the right thing, but perhaps you should step back for a while. Let her sort things out, see how much you really want each other.

    Seperation makes the heart grow fonder? Or does it?


By Toulon99 on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 12:21 pm:

    Your points are usually too true Patrick.

    "Or does it?" ?


By patrick on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 12:39 pm:

    usually?

    and in this instance they aren't?

    I dunno, would seperation be for the better. Would it make you grow fonder or would she be finding her self indulging her curiosities even more?

    Im asking you.


By Toulon99 on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 12:55 pm:

    yeah usually ;-)

    in this instance they are

    I am not sure what seperation would do for us. We are probably going to be forced in a few months to see what happens. Job situations will most likely seperate us in August. And then again maybe not. We will just have to wait and see. Seperation will probably allow me the opputunity to feel the independece I am wanting. Living by myself again, worrying about myself, etc.... I am very selfish and that is part of our problem.

    echhh life....

    I am unclear how I would actually feel if we seperated. We would both move on, probably. And then again maybe I will realise all that I have taken for granted and want her back. And maybe it will be too late. Maybe not. In my life, in all aspects, I always think the grass is greener on the other side and from my experience it usually isn't. Well maybe for a few months and then another grass is appealing.

    One thing to be happy about is I can look back on this thread next year and update the situation. It will be humurous I expect.


By patrick on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 01:05 pm:

    do you think she wont do this again?


By J on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 01:07 pm:

    You are still young,she's the one that has the problem,not you.I think you should seperate and get all the nookie you so rightly deserve,when or if she get's over her problem then you can take it from there,but as far as I see it,you are just blowing valuable prime time.I mean this.


By Toulon99 on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 01:13 pm:

    No I don't think she will. I am not saying it could never happen again, but that is life. Her response to this same question was "no....I mean I did it, so I can't say it will NEVER happen again" But Jesus we have only lived like a quarter of our life. She doesn't want to. She is pretty torn up as well as I am. Maybe it is in response to my feelings but she is still going through a tough time. She cheated on the guy she loves with a guy she doesn't. She cares for him but she is not in love with him. Or so she says. I believe her.


    but that doesn't bother me, the fact that she might at some point. I know it will not be anytime soon. we all have urges. is it right to stifle them? is my problem that I knew about it? would it be better if I never knew?

    hummmpphhhh


By patrick on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 01:29 pm:

    like i said....some time apart, might do you guys good. if you both love each other dearly, you'll come back. She's not a bad person for doing what she did, we all make mistakes, at the same time, she hurt the one she loves and made a fool of him.

    Some time to sort things out might not hurt.


By agatha on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 01:36 pm:

    he has problems too, j. he just said that he intentionally treats her like shit. i would label that as a problem.

    she's looking for affection and confirmation elsewhere that she's not getting from you.


By heather on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 02:08 pm:

    i say break up right now

    this instant



    prolonging things will only make it worse

    especially if either of you is developing ANY resentment [and i suspect you both are]

    clean the slate

    if you use her sex issues as a way to justify not treating her as well as you should- and she uses her inability to have sex as a way to make sure that no relationship is really complete, you should separate and look at why


By eri on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 03:45 pm:

    I am pretty sure there is some resentment over this situation and the things that have recently happened. The thing is at this point you both need things that the other isn't able to give right now. She needs the emotional support, affection, and a feeling that it will all be allright. You need sexual gratification at the end of the fooling around (which she can't provide right now). You withhold the affection and tend to treat her badly because of this and she needs you to treat her as if nothing is wrong. It isn't going to just fix itself. You both really should consider stepping away from each other for a while and looking at your own problems individually, because after 3 years you are not fixing them together. You each need time to work out your own issues on your own. If you love her and she loves you then you owe it to each other to fix yourselves to the point where you can have a successful relationship. You can't do that in the situation you are in now.


By semillama on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 03:54 pm:

    the 'llama is not totally available right at this
    moment.


By heather on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 05:28 pm:

    sem, you're allowed to see more than one person at a time you know


By semillama on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 11:09 pm:

    Good lord, that would be way too complicated.
    I can barely handle one at a time.


By eri on Friday, April 19, 2002 - 11:14 pm:

    I enjoyed dating more than one person at a time. It took the stress off. I wasn't sleeping with them, so it wasn't complicated, but simply fun. In fact, that was when I started dating spunky. I guess you can figure out how it turned out ;)


By patrick on Sunday, April 21, 2002 - 11:37 am:

    jesus sem, grow a pair why don't ya. its like having more than one friend...which im sure you do. especially if you're just at the holding hands phase.


By agatha on Sunday, April 21, 2002 - 02:08 pm:

    stop telling him what to do, dammit. he's figuring it out his own way.


By semillama on Sunday, April 21, 2002 - 02:37 pm:

    Yeah, you romantic facist.


By Czarina on Monday, April 22, 2002 - 03:22 am:

    Frenchy should become a nun.

    And,you're already a fool.


By Nichole on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 02:31 pm:

    Hi,

    Im going to share my story with you because I am going through a similiar situation. When I read your story I could identify with you and it was comforting to know that someone is feeling the same emotions as me and I am not going crazy. I have been with my boyfriend for five years and we have been through hell. He stoppd being affectionate with me and that also later led to him not wanting to be sexual with me and vice versa. I felt so alone and inadequate. I wanted him to desire me and want me so bad. Therefore, I would act out for other guys attention. Things continued this way for years all the while I was needing the affection more and more and feeling more inadequate to the point where I was very bitter. I would push the envelope and give guys kisses on the cheeks, hold their hands, and hug them all in front of my boyfriend. I wanted to say non verbally WAKE UP someone else wants me and desires me!!! If you dont want me then someone else will. Finally last month I was so tired of it all I broke things off with him. Then a week later we are at the same party and he is flirting with another girl in front of me and being very obvious with his feelings about her. Then they disappear. Later he confesses that they messed around but he wants me back. Stupidly I have taken him back but i cant get over it. How could he deny me affectionately and sexually and then go do those things with someone else. I to am spinning out of control emotionally. One minute I want to die and the next I love him. One minute I hate him and the next he is the one I want to marry. I guess to sum it up all i have to say is that life is hard and rarely fair. I dont know if i am gonna be able to get over it and move on. Sometimes ppl dont deserve forgiveness. I am trying to love myself enough to get rid of him and move on. No one desrves to feel the pain of being cheated on. Nothing is worse than feling betrayed and not wanted. I hope that every day I will get over it and I dont. All I can say is that I am still struggling and so far it hasnt got easier but I will listen if u want to get out your pain.


By Gee on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 02:56 pm:

    if you were broken up when he fooled around with another girl, that's not cheating.

    I think what You did is much closer to cheating.


By moonit on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

    I never thought I would have to say this but, in the words of Ross 'You were on a break'.

    Fuck.


By Nichole on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 08:12 pm:

    Yah we were on a break but the whole point is that he didnt want to fool around with me and then a week later he is messing around with someone else. It wouldnt hurt so bad if he hadnt rejected me and then replaced me so easy.


By Nichole on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 08:17 pm:

    By the way the ppl on this site arent very supportive. I was looking to comfort James and hopefully get some comfort in return. You cant tell me if the person u have loved for five years rejected you and rejected you and then relaced you in a matter of a week it wouldnt be painful.


By Dodi on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 09:00 pm:

    I agree with you Nichole. They treat all new people like this and I don't think they like to share one another.

    Listen, hang in there. Life's too short, so go out and have a great time. You never know who your going to meet, so go take a chance. :)

    Remember....Once a cheater, always a cheater!


By patrick on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 09:04 pm:

    hey Nichole since when did a BBS become a comfort provider?

    moreover, anyone looking for comfort on a BBS is entirely suspect.

    so

    you know



    eat hot fuck


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:01 am:

    Your so fucking rude patrick and I bet your a big fat fucking cheater...figures.


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:15 am:

    GO BUSH!!


By moonit on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 04:57 am:

    hands up who else whats to smack Dodi in the face right now?


By heather on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 06:52 am:

    fuck nichole and dodi
    and fuck the next four years

    fuckall


By Gee on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 10:29 am:

    hey Nichole, no one said you didn't have a right to feel badly. I'm just saying, technically speaking, he didn't cheat on you.

    sounds like he did to you exactly what you did to him: used his sexuality to hurt the person he's supopsed to care about. or are you going to act like your overt flirting was not an attempt to hurt him?

    you don't mention anything about trying to talk to your boyfriend. how hard did you try to communicate with him before you started "acting out"? Perhaps there are reasons why he stopped wanting you. Maybe he's going through his own shit, and it has nothing to do with you. Or maybe his feelings for you have just changed, and he's too chickenshit to admit it.

    In any case, acting like a child to get his attention and then crying foul when he does the same thing, is bullshit.

    if you want someone to comfort you, go talk to your friends. if you want an objective opinion, please keep coming back here.


By patrick on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 12:36 pm:

    dodi still doesnt understand shes nothing to me other than jizzmoped.



By kazu on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 12:43 pm:


    You have so many relationships in this life,
    But only one or two will last.
    You go through all the pain and strife,
    Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast.

    Oh yeah. They're gone so fast.

    Oh, so hold on to the ones who really care,
    In the end they'll be the only ones there.
    When you get old and start losing your hair,
    Can you tell me who will still care?
    Can you tell me who will still care? Oh care.

    Chorus:

    JIZZmop, ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do. Oh yeah,
    JIZZop ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do

    Oh yeah, in an JIZZop they're gone. Yeah.

    Plant a seed, plant a flower,
    Plant a rose, you can plant any one of those
    Keep planting to find out which one grows.
    It's a secret no one knows.
    It's a secret no one knows.
    Oh, no one knows.

    JIZZmop, ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do. Oh yeah,
    JIZZop ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do mop,
    Ba duba mop ba do

    Oh yeah, in an JIZZop they're gone. Yeah.


By Moses on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 01:04 pm:

    fuck all of you ya moses


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 01:34 pm:

    Nichole, don't mind the manner here. I hope you continue to post, cause a few of us, will give you the support that you need, so hang in there.


    Have a great day!


By Nichole on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:24 pm:

    Thanks Dodi but I guess this isnt the right site for me. It was probably foolish of me to expect ppl to understand my situation when they probably have never had to experience it themselves. I doubt many people have had to feel the pain of trying to reach out to someone and have them literally push you away. Im not a moron afcourse I talked to him about it. I talked about it until there was nothing more that I could say. I cried and begged for a reason but he gave me nothing in the area of giving me an aswer as to why he wasnt interested in me sexually and affectionately. I even tried to probe and find out if he was having sexual dysfunction but then he really got pissed. When I confronted him him and told him that if he didnt have feeling for me then he should leave he would break down and cry and say thats not what he wanted. Yes it was childish of me to overtly flirt with other guys but it was a last resort. I was tired of being slapped in the face by rejection and it was the last resort. It is very painful to love someone with all your heart and have them not want anything to do with you physically. Then its even worse when that person gives that affection that they have been denying you to someone else. When I suggested that we take a break more than anything i wanted him to see how much i meant to him and fight for me. I wanted him to be the man i was waiting for him to be. Instead he chose to replace me in a matter of a week. I may be making a big deal out of nothing. I dont know but I do know that it hurts so bad that sometimes i dont want to wake up in the morning. If I shouldnt be upset then why do I feel so unworthy of love and so betrayed. Anyways thanks again dodi for the kind words. Pretty much the ppl on this site are the only ones who know my story. Im glad I recieved atleast a small amount of support. However, I am dissapointed in some of the others because if it was the other way around I would have offered encouragement and support because sometimes objectivity is cold.


By Antigone on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:32 pm:

    "I doubt many people have had to feel the pain of trying to reach out to someone and have them literally push you away."

    Yeah, hardly anyone else has ever experienced that. You are alone in the world.

    "...sometimes objectivity is cold."

    And usually narcissism is impossible to deal with. You might, one day, figure that out.


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:43 pm:

    Nichole, I wish the best for you. :)


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 02:58 pm:

    Antigone just got rejected by his girlfriend, so he has a lot in common with you, so you're not alone. We've all been there Nichole, but you have to learn how to let it go. I know it's easier said then done, but you can do it, trust me. This is a good place to come to, so don't leave so fast, okay?

    Take care.


By heather on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 03:08 pm:

    nichole. you *are* being a moron, not to mention completely
    typical. your story is old.

    i for one am not going to support you in that.



    yes it hurts. walk further and it will get better.


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 03:11 pm:

    Nichole, your not being a moron, just human, with feelings.


By Al on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 08:48 pm:

    Hey man i need some advice. im so scared my g/f is goin to cheat on me. she tells me she wont and that she loves me alot but o dunno theres somethin in me that keeps thinkin she will or might. And i DO trust her its just i dunno how to explain it. I really like her alot. its just that im scared she will. Anyone got any advice?


By Dougie on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 09:13 pm:

    If I were you, I'd hack her to bits before she gets the chance to cheat on you.


By heather on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 09:23 pm:

    hear hear!

    so many exciting options!

    -cheat on her *first*! this is a big favorite.

    -follow her diligently and don't forget to watch her while she
    sleeps in case she is visited in the night [remember mary].

    -ask her to wear a chastity belt, it's very popular with the
    straight edge crowd i hear.

    -be virgins once again! together!

    -epoxy holds anything! and you can get it at your local
    hardware.

    -drink to forget my friend. drink to forget. it's a cruel cruel
    world...never forget it. wait, that's not right. anyway, forget
    about it.


By Gee on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 11:35 am:

    Ha Ha, it is to laugh!


By Nichole on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:28 pm:

    The people in this message board are unintelligent followers. Heather I am mostly talking to you. If Hitler was marching today I am sure you would be in line with him. I doubt anyone in this room even has an eduaction beyond highschool if that. It's easy to sit back and judge when you are the one sharing nothing about yourself. Dodi was the only one with any kind of compassion and empathy and the only one who should be able to sleep well at night. The world has to many people in it that blame the victim and you all should be very proud that you can be summed up as one of those people. Now let me give you all some advice since I value yours so deeply (yeah right) work on your people skills and never never go into the line of work of counseling. You all can post whatever you like about me because im done reading your insultive comments. I wont be back so vent about me if you like but I wont read it so you wont get much satisfaction from it. Dodi thanks so much for the kind words.


By Antigone on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:39 pm:

    Ya know, I'd like to run my own board just so I could see which people said, "I'm not going to read anything you st00pid people say" then come back and do it anyway.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:41 pm:

    You see, I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

    THANKS NICHOLE!!!!

    I wish you all the best in life and I hope you find true happiness for yourself. I know it will happen, cause you have a very kind heart, it's obvious through your posts. Take care and God Bless..:)

    ps...I still wish you would stay.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:46 pm:

    By the way, I sleep very well and I wake up with a smile.:)


By V on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:50 pm:

    ..NO,that's teeth grinding,DODI,stupid american teeth clench,


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:52 pm:

    I know this isn't from V, but nice try.:):):):):)


By Doid on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:53 pm:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!


By patrick on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:54 pm:

    the irony in your post nichole is .... its too much. you have no idea who heather is, and clearly you are too dense to appreciate and recognize her wisdom.

    and moreover nichole...there are some tremendously educated people on this bbs, so shut your self-centered whine hole. you dont really know what or who you're talking about.



    did that fucking short bus stop out front again?


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 02:57 pm:

    I like Nichole and I don't think she should shut her "whine hole" LOL!!


By kazu on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:02 pm:

    You know, I've been in that situation where it's not technically "cheating" because we weren't technically "together" but I couldn't relate or sympathize because of the way that Nichole presented herself in the relationship. I wasn't anything but open, honest, and sincere...no mind games. None of the kind of childish behavior she displayed. We all do stupid things. Heather gave the best advice. walk away. keep walking. wait. wait. wait. what else is there?


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:05 pm:

    you should know, your technically still single.


By patrick on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:09 pm:

    the irony in your post nichole is .... its too much. you have no idea who heather is, and clearly you are too dense to appreciate and recognize her wisdom.

    and moreover nichole...there are some tremendously educated people on this bbs, so shut your self-centered whine hole. you dont really know what or who you're talking about.



    did that fucking short bus stop out front again?


    fuck dodi. fuck nichole. fuckitall


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:11 pm:

    I'm so glad, that I don't have to wait for someone to love me...very lucky. I guess I should count my blessings.


By patrick on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:11 pm:

    and yes, the situation merited a double post.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:13 pm:

    good for you patrick.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:15 pm:

    ya know patrick, you say "fuck" a lot. Is this something you're lacking in your life...poor thing.


By heahert on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:23 pm:

    so




    much






    funny




    nowhere to start


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:35 pm:

    patrick, I could say "go fuck yourself" but you probably already did that today, maybe more then once. :(


By patrick on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 03:38 pm:

    dodi still doenst understand all her posts are jizzmoped does she?

    dodi, witheven seeing what you are saying, let me pose the possibility that NO ONE other than your troll V and now the new twit of the month Nichole can read what you say. Do you get that? Wait....dont answer, it wont matter.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:04 pm:

    I don't care patrick. It doesn't bother me and it doesn't cause me to have a bad day.

    I'm thrilled that I actually made you all change this message board, whether you think it's good thing or not, I made the change.

    CHEERS TO DODI!!!!


By Antigone on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:06 pm:

    Methinks Nichole's part of the troll brigade.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:19 pm:

    Oh God, give me a break! I swear, you people are so fucking stOOpid!!!!!!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:26 pm:

    Methinks your stOOPid!!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:27 pm:

    I feel so much better now.:)


By TBone on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:43 pm:

    I bet that last spate was probably very similar to the Jizzmopped version.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 04:58 pm:

    TBone, do you feel like dancing?


By V on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:02 pm:

    Hi dodi.


By Gee on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:05 pm:

    moonit, where are you?

    is there anything to do in nz? what are some good cities?


    I want to travel far far away, but to an english speaking country.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:05 pm:

    Hey V! I feel so bad for Nichole, the new gal.
    They ran her off and that upsets me.


    Oh well.........I'm not going anywhere.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:08 pm:

    moonit has ass cancer, that's the shits!


By Dodi on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:09 pm:

    Nice try once again.


By semillama on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:14 pm:

    I feel bad for those who can't jizzmop these fools. ALthough I thankfully can't see a damn thing they say, I'm sure it's all completly ignorant.

    Still, it may be time for Mark to step in though, for the sake of the folks who can't filter the jizz.
    It may be keeping away some of the people who normally post and don't want to wade through all the cum.


By Platypus on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 05:55 pm:

    Yes, Gee, I want to move to NZ too. Maybe we can do a mass exodus or something.

    And yes, the jizz is old, and I too worry about our absent friends.


By agatha on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 10:07 pm:

    "insultive comments"

    Hee hee!

    Mark won't step in. He doesn't do that. I sometimes wonder if he even still reads any of this.


By Czarina on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 01:22 am:

    Besides *walking further*,maybe you could also walk faster.

    Heather/Hitler/highschool education heh heh


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 02:40 am:

    Hey, Dodi, didn't your son chop some girl's hands off, or something?


By kazu on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 03:01 am:

    "the 'llama is not totally available right at this
    moment"


    What happened to that one?


By moonit on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 06:21 am:

    For fucks sake Dodi I don't have ass cancer and for someone who reckons they are so 'nice' you are an utter stupid bitch who really deserves a fucking good kick in the vagina. Don't you dare fucking post so called 'sympathetic' posts giving me advice and then turn around and tell bullshit about me.

    If you paid any attention to the people here or the boards you would see how insulting and revolting your and V's comments are. I guess it says something about you if you can be friendly with someone who has a huge fucking danger sign flashing above his head with his dodgy fucking beating up animals posts and insulting comments.I don't understand how when V calls you a troll you let that go yet you can't get past anything else anyone says on this board. Your constant spamming is not doing you any favours.







    I am pmt=ing really really badly. Is it obvious?


    Gee, I am in Christchurch, there are basically four main centres in chch and lots of little towns inbetween. We like Canadians. i have friends in Auckland and Wellington (two cities in the North island), so whereever you decide to go I can hook you up with some people. Its all lovely, but I think ChCh is the best (of course i have lived here for a long time, so that may have something to do with it).


By Gee on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 10:31 am:

    Ron has suggested that he may give me a plane ticket to London for christmas. I wonder if I decided to go somewhere else if he would pay for that instead?

    I am so dying to go far far away. I think I want to escape from my life for a while. and my main job provides me with a week of paid vacation around christmas.

    let's have an impromptu sorabjifest in the UK.


    where does dodi live?


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 12:11 pm:

    Westminster, Colorado.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


By Dodi on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 01:02 pm:

    Wrong!!!!!


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 01:06 pm:

    I LOVE YOU DODI!!!


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 01:15 pm:

    Did you move so they would not catch your boy?That just means hes guilty!!!


By semillama on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 01:52 pm:

    Ha! I called Patrick a "romantic facist!"

    I laugh.


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 08:16 pm:

    I see the troll is posting as me,again.


By V on Friday, November 5, 2004 - 09:15 pm:

    Dodi,I get cloned now and then,you just have to read between the lines,Sorabji is an odd place. :(


By Dodi on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 01:50 pm:

    I realize that


By V on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 08:03 pm:

    Dodi,I read you.I get cloned a lot,and not just by the present troll.I have a way of talking that is hard to replicate,do not feel insulted by strange postings,it is not me,as I will not ever insult you.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 09:44 pm:

    :)


By V on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 10:14 pm:

    Thank you Dodi,for your kind understandings,you happen to be a real fine person,as you well know,I am most happy to post to you on line. :)


By Dodi on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 11:14 pm:

    :)


By V on Monday, November 8, 2004 - 08:21 pm:

    Dodi, as allways,your friend. :) sometimes i am imsoniac,sometimes I can not post for 24 hours due to lack of sleep,hang on.I allways post.


By Dodi on Tuesday, November 9, 2004 - 12:07 am:

    Understand.....:)

    Man, I'm so glad that I don't have that problem (anymore).
    I did years ago, but now, I sleep like a baby.


By V on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 02:26 pm:

    Dodi,v still has problems with insomnia,3 nights back 2 and 1 half hours,2 nights back 3 hours, last night 10 hours (wonderfull)...tonight 8 hours I hope,next day 4 hours,(v has an importent party to go to)wish I could crash out like a normal person.


By Dougie on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 04:10 pm:

    V, just read your old posts here. That should put you to sleep in no time.


By Dougie on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 04:11 pm:

    Woops, now I've gone and done it. I'll probably get a large Russian virus on my computer one day soon.


By Antigone on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 04:15 pm:

    I haven't seen one yet, and if anyone would it'd probably be me. :)


By Dodi on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

    V, why is it, that you can't sleep?

    Maybe you should take something for it, or perhaps, don't work so much. :)


By V on Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - 11:16 pm:

    Dodi,I live for work,I thrive on it,with out work I dont exist,i am born for it,BUT,within 2 years,I need to become most chilled out,so I can move out of the rat race,to the birth place of us all, Greece.


By Dodi on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 08:33 pm:

    I wish that I had that kind of drive for work. I used to enjoy working, but I hate when people tell me what to do. I haven't worked for awhile now, so going back, makes me cringe.


By eri on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 07:08 pm:

    I went back after staying home for 5 1/2 years and I love my job.


By Dodi on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 08:30 pm:

    I'm thinking about going back, but just not sure yet. I've been home for 15 years, so it's tough to think about.


By v on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 10:24 pm:

    Dodi,hi again,WORK, do you need it?if not stick to art,my self I love work,its why I exist,Dodi,you happen to be an amazing person,do as you wish,follow your heart.I try to help you,as you allways help me... :):):)


By Dodi on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 02:52 am:

    Hi!
    My friend just asked me to paint something in her bedroom, so we're discussing that right now. It won't be very big, so it won't take me too long. I'm doing some stuff to my own house and I'm having fun.

    Thanks for all the encouragement.......:)


By V on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 10:59 pm:

    Encouragement,you dont need it,you are allready the best,but a mural in a bedroom,I think we are talking one wall at least,I think 3 days minimum,Darling,so prove me wrong...dont under price your self...what paint do you use,it must be fast drying...if you get problems,use a de-humidifier machine.


By V on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 11:13 pm:

    Dodi,hope it all works out,if you ever need to talk art,I am here.As you may know,I also do art,unlike the other insects that are on line... :):):):)


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 03:21 am:

    I swear V, I think some of the people here, have no clue.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 03:23 am:

    I just went to the thread on abortion, and their calling a fetus, a parasite. I'm actually very sick to my stomache right now, cause it just makes me so sick, to know that people don't care about a growing life. I know this has nothing to do with art, but I'm just pissed right now.


By moonit on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 04:19 am:

    Dodi, if you got raped and became pregnant, would you keep it?


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 01:33 pm:

    I would at least give it a chance to live. The baby didn't have anything to do with it.

    There's families out there that want a child, so why not give them a gift of life.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 01:33 pm:

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm, it's called ADOPTION!!


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 01:35 pm:

    I think abortion is all based on being selfish.


By heather on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 05:18 pm:

    everything is based on being selfish. EVERYTHING.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 05:33 pm:

    nope, don't believe so, so move on........


By eri on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 06:26 pm:

    Everything that you do or don't do is based on what YOU want to do, whether it is for yourself or for someone else. Every action you make is based on YOU because YOU make it, so therefore, heather has a point. It can be considered that everything we do is for our reasons and can be called selfish for that reason.

    Dodi, you're new here, so I will try not to banter against you too harshly, cuz you do appear to be sticking around, and genuine in what you say. Understand that there are many people here who disagree with you on things. We all disagree on things. What I intend to do from this point on is to be your "teacher" as it is called in my religious circles. Offer another point of view in a way that you can understand and ask questions to help you think things through a different way. It is a good help in determining if you believe what you do based on what you have been taught, or whether you have worked these things completely through in your own mind. It is easy to believe something without thinking it through possibly. So challenging thought is going to be my quest with you. It's the greatest form of personal growth in my opinion.

    Some questions for you?

    If abortion is a selfish decision, is it selfish if you know that your life is on the line, you are already a single parent, and you do what you do to save your life so you can continue to be a parent to the child you already have?

    You do a favor for a friend in need, not because they deserve it as they have made their own bed by making bad decisions, but they are stuck in a pickle and you decide to help them anyways cuz they really need it and you will feel better knowing you did try to help them. You helped them because it would make YOU feel better as a person.....is this selfish?

    I will think of more related later, but right now my mind is distracted by the things going on around here, life in general.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 06:50 pm:

    I just feel, that if you do have to make a decision, then why not give it to a family that really wants a child? My sister gave up her child when she was 19 years old and I was very proud of her. I mean, we would of liked to of had the baby in the family, but she knew she couldn't care for it. She blessed another family with her gift in life and to me, this was beautiful. I know what you are saying eri and I do respect your opinions. I also like the fact, that your willing to give me a chance and I really appreciate that, so thank you.......:)


By wisper on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 06:50 pm:

    Dodi must be a hard-core vegan, since she cares about the sanctity of life so very much.

    a fetus, by scientific terms, *IS* indeed a parasite. The very definition of one. A classic example of a parasitic relationship.
    Just because you can't deal with that does not make it wrong or any less accurate.


    Having kids is also selfish.
    Not any less selfish than having an abortion.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 06:52 pm:

    sorry, I will never grasp that term.


By Dodi on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 06:53 pm:

    not a vegan, sorry.:(


By V on Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 10:54 pm:

    Dodi,say what you want,no censor in this God forsaken place,here you do as you wish,I often think of the movie "Hellraiser"...it was very good.


By Doid on Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 11:58 pm:

    As you can tell, I'm not giving up, so no worries.

    Smile!:)


By V on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 01:07 am:

    (blush)


By eri on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 12:25 pm:

    V, if this is such a Godforsaken place then why do you still come here? I mean, really, if it is that bad why bother? You're wasting our time, why don't you just save yourself some?


By V on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 11:42 pm:

    sem,v sees a certain amount of inbreeding amoung the Sorabjis,as such,v needs to to give you an insight as to the world out side,the movie "Soylent Green" springs to mind,you have seen it?


By V on Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 12:05 am:

    sem,I am wasting YOUR time,then if you were not posting,then what amazing and stunning things do you do?watch t.v. play scrabble,chess,ping pong,do tell as to how a person 3000 to 8000500 miles from you can cause you a problem,(you west coast or east coast?)you know why v posts?...v allways wanted an ant farm,and now I have it.Now ya,all have a nice day now...for a Russki,v speaks real fine American. :):):):):):):)


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