The thing that is bugging me is that when they described the disease and how it effects the body it was describing what happened to my Grandmother from start to finish. She had several blood transfusions in the past year, and could easily have gotten it from that. It described EVERYTHING that went wrong (aside from the fluid in the lungs but that was because she was immobile so long after her hernia surgery). All they had to do was a blood test and they didn't do it. I didn't know about this. I didn't check to see if they tested her for this thing (I know they didn't, cuz I know what they tested her for and this wasn't one of the things). I didn't know to tell them to look for this, and I didn't know I would have to point out where to look. It is treatable. She could have lived. But I just didn't know. God I hate Missouri. It is total fucking Misery. I don't know why they never looked for this. Isn't it their job to look, to find out, to explore what causes the problem and try to fix it? What kills me is that less than 6 months later, I find out about this, but it is too late to say something that most likely would save her. |
don't kick yourself besides, it's only speculation that hepatitis was the issue maybe it was just her time |
I am doing a little better with the whole thing, and I am not crying any more. I am trying not to torture myself. I guess I just miss her so much that I wish I could go back in time and point this out and let her be with me now, but that is probably selfish. Either way, what is done is done, and knowing something doesn't change anything. It brings understanding I wish I didn't have. |
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