One of Mark's stories


sorabji.com: I need advice: One of Mark's stories
By Spider on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 10:16 am:

    Mark once wrote a story on the different scales on the piano and their feels (like, an F major scale has this kind of atmosphere...a B major scale feels like that...etc.)

    Can someone please help me find it? I can't remember what it's called.


By Christopher on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 12:05 pm:


By Spider on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 12:33 pm:

    YES. Thank you so much!


By Dougie on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 01:06 pm:

    "B-Major is the buxom, big-boobed key whose arpeggios you stroke like a woman's breasts and whose scales you scratch like they're your own ass."

    That's fucking hilarious!


By Spider on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 02:02 pm:

    I'm a struggling pianist myself, and I haven't practiced scales in quite a while, but the different keys have different feels or personalities to me, too. I think I conceive of them based on their sound, or something else. (Whim? Schizophrenia?)

    For example, e minor is the saddest key. It's a quiet, humble key. B minor is similar but inferior to E. D minor is kind of cheap and tries to be more than it is. F minor is noble. F# minor is irritated.

    I don't know the major keys very well...I like B major because it uses all the black keys, and I think it has a cheerful nature.

    I miss my piano.


By semillama on Monday, May 6, 2002 - 02:14 pm:

    To me, E minor is a kind of angry bitter
    sadness, which fits well with the fact that it's
    one of the most common keys in heavy metal.
    D minor is a different kind of sadness, more
    resigned.

    I hardly ever play in major keys, so i can't really
    speak to that, although I like the contrast when
    switching between E minor and G major.


By Dougie on Wednesday, May 8, 2002 - 05:50 pm:

    I'm listening to Brahms' B Major Piano Trio right now. Shit Mark, I'll never be able to listen to this piece (or any other piece in B Major for that matter -- fortunately I can't think of any right now) the same way again.


By Spider on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 11:52 pm:

    How funny that I should find this thread. And, look, I've changed.

    Now, F minor is stately and funereal, F# minor, too.

    E minor is trite, A minor even more so.

    B minor is the loneliest key. B minor is the equivalent of getting marooned on a desert island and watching your former crew sail away. B minor could be the end of you.

    C# major just bugs the crap out of me. I mean, why would anyone compose in this key unless it was for mental exercise? Bach, you and your well-tempered clavier are excused.