| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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She rang me today, and we had a catchup and I'm going to meet her next week. I'm terrified. What should I take? Old pictures of me growing up? Flowers? Presents? She didn't even know when my birthday was, and the last time Martyn spoke to her about me, was when Mum got married and we moved to Aussie. I was seven. He hasn't spoken about me for 20 years to his own mother. Wanker. Anyway, what do i take???? |
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Pictures. Absolutely. And that will give you something to talk about. Do you think she'd like some pictures of you to keep? Maybe one of you as a little Moonit and another more recent one. We almost had a similar situation in my family, and I think had it gone that way and twenty years past, my nana would have loved something like that. |
She (the grandma) seems really sweet and I think we have the same sense of humour (she told me she doesn't dress up much, and I said does that mean I don't have to wear my tiara? and she laughed). It's just weird. I don't know what to call her - do I use her first name? Do I call her Mrs *******, argh... I've got five aunts and uncles I've never met, and loads of cousins. My little brother is 12, and my sister is 9. I last saw them when they were tiny tiny people. I have to stay calm and not blame her for the way Martyn has treated me (like a huge secret). I wonder if the rest of the family know about me. |
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We are damn cute! |
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hell yeah, i'd move to new zealand tomorrow. |
I stayed for about two hours, and I'm going back next weekend to meet my grandfather Jim. Alyson said she's going to slowly introduce me to my family, which is so neat. I've got a heap of cousins, I don't know how I'll keep them all straight. When I was telling 'drew about it all, I totally lost it. The whole house is full of bookcases and books are everywhere. Just like my house here. |
I was semi-prepared for it, but once I heard his voice it all came pouring out: 'Mel, It's Martyn ******* here' 'Right' 'I saw the letter your wrote my mother... I was up in Christchurch on the weekend and thought I should call... I know its been a long time since we talked' 'Uh yeah, since my boyfriend died - guess you wondered if I was still alive right' 'uh' 'Yeah real nice of you to stay in touch - I hope nothing horrible ever happens to your kids and you treat them the way you've treated me' 'uh.... are you okay' 'no' I'm bawling at this stage, sobbing actually... 'right, well I thought I should get in touch....' 'how could you do that to me... not tell them anything... they are such NICE people' 'uh yeah...' 'yeah' 'is now not a good time?' 'no not really - maybe you should call back tomorrow' 'okay bye then' 'bye' 10 bucks says he doesn't call. |
we still love you, moonit. |
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i have a soft spot for estranged fathers. as ive revealed before mine was estranged at times but mainly because of his insanity. hang tight moonpooper |
Actually moontrooper sounds better. Fuck - today I'm just in shock (again). Fucking family woodwork crawling buggers. Anyway, if he doesn't call I think I'll write him a letter explaining my years of anger and disapointment in him - the times he promised to do stuff with me and I wouldn't hear from him... you know get right into the intensity. And then never hear from him. I'm not sure I should of opened this can of worms. I'm not sure I can handle it. |
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hang in there...I'm sorry it has to be so hard right now |
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Alyson died on Friday at 1pm. She'd been in hospital for about three weeks - and the first week she was in Martyn came up from Timmers to see her. Afterwards he picked me up for lunch. I hadn't seen him in six years. It was a surreal experience - sitting across the table eating indian, drinking a beer (well I had a coke, cause after one vodka, lime and lemon I can't stop), trying to make conversation with a stranger. I could of done better sitting across a table from Mark. Anyway, he came back up the next week, and picked me up and we went to see her together. Her eyes lit up as we entered the room - and she told him he was a clever boy, Jim was there too, so we all sat and chatted for a while, and I found out that one of Martyn's sisters Olwyn, has to have IVF - as she can't produce eggs (important medical history I had no clue about). I gave her a hug goodbye, and then hugged GrandadJim - joking about how if he didn't get a hug he'd be jealous, I think Martyn was suprised as to how well I got on with them. He rang me on Friday night to let me know she'd gone. Today's funeral notice in the paper lists all the grandkids bar me. This morning I got a phonecall from him apologising, and insisting I come to the funeral as Jim would want me there. I have been added to the list that the minister reads as eldest grandchild (which no doubt will apparently piss my cousin Jonathon off as he's not eldest anymore). I'm being picked up from work in the morning. I'm petrified. I'm about to meet my entire family. |
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