five questions you'd never ask someone you just met


sorabji.com: I need advice: five questions you'd never ask someone you just met
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By sarah on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 08:39 pm:

    okay family, i need your help.

    i've very recentkly met a really great guy. (i know i
    know... i can see you all rolling your eyes). but i mean
    it, this one is different. his name is Greg, and he's really
    got his shit together. he's very smart, very articulate,
    very evolved, well-educated, well-mannered, rides a
    motorcycle (!!), has a great job, and is a total fucking
    hottie.

    so we have a date set for this friday night. and he
    wants to do this thing where we both come to the date
    with five questions you'd never ask someone you just
    met, and we both have to answer to with reckless
    honesty.

    maybe this makes him sound like he's playing games,
    but i assure you he's not. he's just unique and
    interesting and a little fearless.

    so, i have to come up with five questions. problem is,
    i'm stumped. help me come up with five questions. and
    of course, i know a lot of you will be smart-asses and
    not take this seriously and give me ridiculous questions
    to ask, but i beg you to come up with something real,
    something intruiging, witty, and fun. i have a few ideas
    of my own, but i don't want to post them just yet, i want
    to see what you'd come up with on your own.

    ready set go.





By dave. on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 09:19 pm:

    could someone ever drive up beside you on the freeway, glance over, and catch you in the act of digging out a booger and popping it into your mouth?

    have you ever done something that, whenever you remember the situation, you feel so incredibly bad and ashamed and embarassed?

    when you wipe your butt, do you give more than a cursory examination of the dirty toilet paper before you drop it into the toilet? do you sniff deeply?

    if the love of your life was horribly burned and disfigured in an accident, would you stay with that person?

    are you lying to me?


By BIGKev on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 09:40 pm:

    An animal lies dieing on the side of the road, in obvious pain (maybe because of you maybe not) do you leave it, or do you take the tie iron out of your trunk and bash its head in? (you dont have a gun, and if you did you couldnt use it)

    your S/O is a comatose, vegitable being kept alive by machines, (with a miniscule chance of recovery) do you pull the plug even though they said that they wouldnt want it done if there was a chance of recovery?

    what scares you the most in the world, and if i gave you one right now would you shit yourself?

    have you ever kicked/hit an animal?

    how willing to try new things are you?


By kazoo on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 09:45 pm:

    Thems some good questions. I like dave.'s about remembering something that still feels bad, embarassed, and ashamed. I can't think of anything good right now so I am just going to babble.

    Sarah, it makes me happy to see you get excited about a guy. It's when people say things like, "I don't even know why I'm even bothering with another date; this guy is just going to blah blah blah," that sends my eyeballs back into my head.

    I think this sounds like it could be fun as long as he as the kind of personality that can pull it off. I don't like to interrogate people but I often wished I thought of interesting questions...instead of just what kinds of music, literature, and movies they like, I'd like to get more personal and/or specific. Like if Wes Anderson (or whoever) were going to direct the movie of your life what would be on the soundtrack and why....what books profoundly changed your life...the most influential relationships/people (friendships, family members, teachers, etc.


    Anyway, that's not nearly so good as theirs...though you could probably twist them up a bit...I'll keep thinking.


By agatha on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 10:49 pm:

    name one event from your childhood that affected your life forever.

    what living thing repulses you the most?

    what would you do for a klondike bar?


By eri on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 11:44 pm:

    I am no good at this. The only thing that comes to mind is what part of the human body do you dislike and why, but that's just lame.


By jack on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 01:53 am:

    i have actually asked some of these questions of people i just met, but just for the sake of this discussion:

    ---why haven't you achieved what you hoped to achieve?

    ---rate the following 1, 2, 3 in order of personal preference and explain: masturbation, one-on-one sex, group sex.

    ---are you honest with yourself?
    (this one can stand alone, but it really should follow another question to reflect on that question as either "are you honest with yourself?" or "are you honest with yourself about that?" depending on how introspective you judge the other person to be)

    ---how did you get the scars that you have?

    ---how many times have you been arrested or violated state/federal laws and for what?

    ---what were you thinking of the last time you masturbated to orgasm and when was that?

    ---how often do you realize that you are completely full of shit and what makes you realize that? (alternately: "you realize that you're completely full of shit, right?")

    ---what are your reasons pro and con re: having kids?

    ---in what ways do you find socially uncomfortable bodily functions pleasurable?

    ---why do you enjoy the chemical stimulations that you do?

    ---aren't the message boards at sorabji.com a bunch of lame-ass bullshit/da bomb?

    --what's the most repulsive sexual experience you've repeated?


    -------------------
    truthfully, the category "things i'd never ask someone i just met" is mostly "things i wouldn't ask because i don't want to know or follow up on" (rather than "items i won't ask because modesty dicates") like:

    ---would you like to join me in licking a urinal?

    ---what celebrity do people tell you you look like?

    ---what's your favorite fast-food outlet?

    ---do you have access to any infectious waste you'd like to share?

    ---which public place would you prefer to shoot up/blow up just before committing suicide?

    ---have you fantasized yet about watching me have sex with animals? what animals?

    ---are you going to cry?
    -----------------------



    but have fun friday, sarah! cheers and fortune be with you!


By jack on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 02:15 am:

    and then there's always:

    "what on earth makes a person adopt a gimmick like suggesting each party come to a first date
    with five questions you'd never ask someone you just met?"

    ------
    but again, cheers to you, sarah!


By dave. on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 02:29 am:

    yeah, that is a helluva pickup line.

    i like: "i just showered."


By semillama on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 11:47 am:

    How long do you expect to live?

    If you had to pick one place to spend the rest of your life, where would it be?

    What gives you the creeps?

    What's "politically uncorrect" about you?

    What's the worst illness you've had?


By J on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 12:05 pm:

    Do you have any superstitions? What is the best way to apologize to someone? What makes a good loser? Are you one? What is your favorite thing to do that doesn't cost money? How long could you go without watching t.v.? What food would you never give up eating? If you could have three famous friends,who would they be? Name something that you would like to learn someday? What one word would you use to describe yourself? Why? What would you do if you got lost in a big city? What skill do you have that nobody knows about? If you could go anywhere in the world,where would it be and why? And of course,why do dogs eat cat poop?


By Spider on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 12:13 pm:

    How long do you go before cleaning your kitchen?

    What percentage of conversations not focused on you do you tune out of?

    When was the last time you cried?

    What are your feminine qualities?





By patrick on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 01:03 pm:

    (jesus spider, why don't you just castrate him upon sitting at the table)




    fearless huh?




    fearless it is.


    five topics that i think are appropriate first date topics.


    sex, ambitions, personal history, spirituality , sex



    i'll attempt to tackle all (while not forgetting the fearless part).



    Have you ever tried auto-fellatio?

    (that'll crack icebergs)


    What's one thing you hope to create by the end of your life? Be it a tangible or not. Body of art, a concept or theory, or maybe a self-made log cabin home or family business.


    What is the farthest you've travelled from home? How did it make you feel? Tell me what you saw.


    Is there a greater being than yourself? If so, in your words, tell me about him or her.


    Describe the scent of a woman that drives you bananas.





By sarah on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 03:11 pm:


    you guys rock.


    patrick, give me more.



By sarah on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 03:19 pm:


    jack, before i even posted this thread, you were the first person who popped into my mind as being someone to come up with lots of good questions for me.




By patrick on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 03:21 pm:

    ok.

    along the lines of the travel question....(this was actually inspired by nates recent post of swimming out beyond the kelp beds, as that reminded me of the sensation as a child of going way way way beyond the boundaries established by the parents)

    Do you remember, as a kid, when you rode your bike, (walked, skated, what have you) the farthest from your home? Where did you actually go? Do you remember the exhileration you felt? did you peddal, skate harder? We're you scared?


    Whats the most impressive natural phenomenon you've ever experienced?



    If there is one location, from a book or movie you've read or seen, that you could be right now, where would it be and why?


    When was the last time you were truly and magically thrilled to the point of goosebumps, chills, and potentially a tear?


    As a kid, did you put things in your bottom? As an adult?



    If you have one last kiss on this earth, assuming you had a lover or wife, where would you place that kiss on her body?












    there, how's that?


By Hell if Im signing my name to this on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 07:33 pm:

    How big's your dick?

    Does your mother shave, or could one do a bush-whacking expedition down there?

    If you had to have sex with your sister, which position would you prefer?

    Ditto for brother.

    Are you cut, or do you got that anteater thing going on?

    Liver and onions or kidney pie?




By jack on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 11:49 pm:

    thanks, sarah. i hope the post rewarded your expectation in part.

    also:
    ---what are some words you would hope won't be spoken during your eulogy?
    (another tricky one. some people won't shut up and others won't have much to say.)

    --what do you do repeatedly despite the fact that it never satisfies you?

    ---what have you been thinking of doing for [months/years] that you will, in all probability, never actually do?

    alternately:
    ---what have you been telling people you're planning to do for [months/years] that you will, in all probability, never actually do?



By jack on Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 11:52 pm:

    i love "what makes a good loser and why?" that's a great one.


By sarah on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 12:55 pm:

    okay, here are the ones i came up with. i got these questions by thinking about what questions he could ask me that would make me flip out when i had to give the truthful answer.


    1. Is there anything about you or about your past that you fear would cause me to write you off?

    2. What is the biggest demon in your life that you constantly have to battle?

    3. How would you describe the foundation and mechanics of an ideal relationship?

    4. If you won $10,000,000 today, tax free, what would you do? (although I might ask this question of someone i just met because it's not necessarily that personal or taboo)

    5. When you were married, did you ever have an extramarital sexual encounter or any kind?

    6. If I agreed to go home with you tonight and fuck your brains out but you knew I wasn't the right girl for you, would you still take me home?


By J on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 04:31 pm:

    #6 if he answers honestly would definately save you time,"IF" he answered honestly:)


By Spider on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 04:46 pm:

    That's a killer question. If he'd want to say "yes," he might hesitate because that makes him look like an asshole. If he'd want to say "no," he might hesitate because that makes it seem he doesn't find you attractive.

    Which one should he say? Which one? Which one?


By sarah on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 04:57 pm:


    i guess that question's a winner for sure. we'll find out the answer on friday!



    anyone have any more good questions?



By patrick on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 05:00 pm:

    why would that make him look like an asshole?


By patrick on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 05:02 pm:

    if he agreed to go home with her, despite thinking she's 'not right' (assuming 'right' as in a solid, long-term relationship) she would obviously be Ms. right now, which is also ok, if both parties are honest, which this questions forces, which in my mind, is always a good thing.


    so yes, its a winner of a question and could actually take a little pressure off the date.


By BIGKev on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 07:42 pm:

    "If I agreed to go home with you tonight and fuck your brains out but you knew I wasn't the right girl for you, would you still take me home?"

    YES!!!! Almost every male that i know would say yes, and do it, then (if they had decided that you werent Ms Right-Forever) they would take you home in the morning and say 'I'll call you.' but probably wouldnt.




    Sooooo.. regardless of his answer, to actually get any useful info you would need follow-up ?s or explanation..


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