| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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For work reasons, we're living now in different cities and it's always me who flies to see her. I've been flying to see her in a monthly basis for several months. She's never flown to see me: didn't have the money, didn't have the time, did have to go home to see her parents... I'm really pissed off. I see myself making big efforts to keep our relationship alive and I find little reward. When we're together it's great, we have a fantastic time. But when it comes to making decisions, to sacrifice, it's 90% sure I'll be the one to sacrifice. It's been like that for the whole three years, they've all been filled with bigger or smaller sacrifices, always my sacrifices. There've been a lot of good moments, I cannot deny that, but always overshadowed by that feeling that I was somehow losing my dignity little by little, that I was allowing her to treat me unfairly, that I had the right to ask her for a little bit more of commitment in our relationship. But I never did, I've never asked that to her, you know why? Because I am afraid to lose her. I am afraid to lose her much more than she's afraid of losing me. I am pissed off, I find the current situation unbearable, but after three years the idea of being alone scares me. What will I do then? I'm no ladies' man, I've always been quite unconfident when it comes to meeting women. My common sense tells me to split up in friendly terms and start looking for a more rewarding relationship. But then an automatic alarm inside my head starts ringing telling me that probably that'll mean being single and alone for a long time... and that scares me, ladies and gentlemen. What can I do? What can I do? |
What's wrong with you? . But really, where do you see this going? Are there plans to move to the same city in the future? . If not, make them or move on. You only see her once a month. You're alrady alone. |
Ditch her and move on. |
a relationship built on settling for less can't be a very good one in the long term. |
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This is no good. Don't confuse security for happiness. You need to tell your girlfriend what you've told us, and if she doesn't agree that there is a problem and you both need to work on the relationship, leave. Leaving may be scary at first, but the security you gain by remaining with someone who hurts you isn't worth the shame it costs. |
I'm seeing my girlfriend soon and I'm telling myself that this will be the time we'll sit down for a talk about our relationship. But this is not the first time I make up my mind and then... when I get there she is so charming, so lovable that I can't tell her. Or perhaps this is the excuse I use not to tell her. Later I regret that, of course, and everything begins again. We'll see what happens this time. However, I'm 99% sure that she'll not change her attitude after I tell her what I told you. That's her personality, she's the kind of person who never commits in anything, and she'll be always like that I guess. She'll not change for neither me nor for anyone else. Telling her will surely lead to a break-up. Or perhaps the fact that she'll not change her attitude means that she doesn't really love me enough. |
Don't settle. Be good for yourself. |
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