I'm trying to test out of this one tech class in school, so I don't have to pay $500 to learn mostly stuff I already know. I have completed all of the assignments except for one... THE ACCESS DATABASE. This program is not intuitive. I have tried, and failed, to understand it via help files. Any Access geeks want to get on aim and walk me through the process? It's an easy database to create if you know what you're doing. aim name hortensejones, or email me. I'll be around tonight. mwah- agatha

Come ON, PEOPLE! I'M DESPERATE HERE!

i don't see you online hortense. not that i know access. but if is life or death i'm willing to install the puppy and figure it out. aim: b00gnsh (those are zeros)

Monday night? I was there for a while, but then I gave up.

sure. i should be around.

All I know is that Access is a horrifying program that when done right, is awesome, but more commonly is done wrong and is a freak show.

YES. I have found that, as well, in my brief but frustrating journey. Now I'm just being stubborn because I finished all of the other sections of the waiver. Fuckin databases.

I LOVE access. I have created tables, Queries, reports, macros, etc etc etc. Hit me

Don't tease her. Help her. Sorry agatha. I can't assist you here. I haven't done anything with any data base system since Data Star. I just haven't had the time.

I hate access, but I have to know it because of work. Squeeze spunk, or AIM ttb0ne

Okay, guys, tonight I'm going to try to log on at about 8. Come visit me when you can. Maybe we can get one of those wacky group things going. hortensejones -aim name I knew y'all would come through for me.

I LOVE TBONE. Just thought you all might want to know that. (ps- I got a perfect score on the database!)

congrats!

i love t bone too.

i {heart} tbone . . props to da man .

agatha, did you actually learn how to use access?

access isn't a database, btw. now that i can confuse things.

Ah, I remember having this conversation with you a few years ago. Or was it with Antigone? Access is a monster.

Props to the TBone!

I think I could probably put together a VERY basic database at this point in time. Tbone is a very good teacher, especially noting the fact that he taught me all over AIM with no pointing, hand signals, or facial gesturing to help him out.

Agatha's the Access Mastah how! . That was getting out of hand. Gonna give me a big head. er, I mean... Gonna make my head big. . Ah... You know what I mean. . Hoy. I'm got me some virus today. . It's gonna turn into the Green Plague. Always does. . My teeth are on the march.

Did you drink a lot of coffee today?

TBone went home sick from work. I convinced him.

Fuckin' Bronchitis, Sinusitis, and Conjunctivitis. . My own personal apocalypse.

yowza!

Agatha! Thanks! This looks really interesting. Have you read it? . . And it turns out I didn't have conjunctivitis. Stupid doctors. . I woke up at 3:00am because my eye hurt. Felt like I had something stuck to my eyelid that was scraping across my eye. I spent an hour trying to get it out, but couldn't do it. This has happened before. Had to go into a clinic long enough for a nurse to yank my eyelid back and poke it with a q-tip. I figure this is the same deal, so I go in to the nearest walk-in later that morning and say, "I've got something in my eye and I can't get it out." By this time, I'm getting cranky because my eye has been hurting badly for around 5 hours. "Ooooh," the front desk lady said knowingly. "Been hanging around kids with pink-eye?" "No, I have something in my eye." Skip to me sitting in the room with the bed-chair thing. A nurse enters to ask about my symptoms. "I have something in my eye and I can't get it out." "Any itching or discharge?" the nurse asks. "No." "Any exposure to pink-eye?" "No." The nurse asks several more pink-eye related questions and leaves. The doctor enters, and proceeds to ask me all the same questions in the same order. I say, "No" several more times. . During this time, she noticed the obvious fact that I was producing masses of thick goo from my lungs and nose every few minutes. She tells me about how pink-eye commonly comes along with bad colds and stuff, that's what it sounds like, yadda yadda. She looks very briefly at my eye, sees that it's red, and writes me up prescription for antibiotic eyedrops to use when the classic bacterial eye infection follows the viral one. She convinced me. She's supposed to know her stuff, so hey. Pink eye. Eye continues to hurt whenever I blink for the rest of the day. . The next morning, my eye doesn't hurt anymore. The damn particle must have finally come loose.

Did you only just get the book? Dang, I ordered it forever ago! Yes, I read it and enjoyed it heartily. I'm sorry about the horrid pinkeye. Nothing sucks more than having your eyes fucked with. Except for maybe stomach issues. I would rate them on the same level of misery.

A doctor at my college misdiagnosed a corneal tear as pink eye. The girl went blind in that eye.

I used to get conjunctivitis once a year. Also back spasms. Once I got them in the same week. That was fun. Agatha, I have a question for you. Is there any work, compilation, research that you know about that has extensive information about the history of library science that would discuss specific librarians?

I guess it depends on the librarian. Are you looking for anyone in particular? Look up some history on Melville Dewey,the sexist pig. He was an interesting character.

Daniel Alexander Payne Murray I've got some stuff. I was just wondering if (being on the inside and all) if you knew of any interesting and recent historical studies.

mmm specific librarian the name of my band

Nope, sorry. Not quite there yet... that would be a good band name.

How about Balsamic Jihad? That would be a good band name I think...or slubberdegullion. That's a good one too

I have been waiting for Jihad the video game

well, they already have a video game out set in Gulf II. It's called Desert Storm II: Back to Baghdad" or something like that. Which considering that US soldiers are dying every day over there, is pretty fucking tasteless, if you ask me.

Sony was looking to name a game "Shock And Awe" back in April, but I have heard they ahve since changed their minds

Is there any BBS or POST IT message similar like Sorabji?

just my dick. do rectums have lips? i would do it.

Is there any BBS or POST IT message similar like Sorabji?

Is there any BBS or POST IT message similar like Sorabji?

God I miss you Nate. And No, there are NO other Blogs or BBS like Sorabji! BTW, congrats to Mark on his recent celeb status! The rest of the world is finally catching on to your genius.

Hey spunk, guess what? A friend of mine is doing AI programming for the department of homeland security. There's a small chance I might get a job there myself. Wouldn't that be a hoot? :)

Hey Spunky I missed you and Eri.Where is everyone?

Hi spunky! hope you're doing okay :)

Slippery slope, eh tiggy???? J, we have been around. I just have been WAY burnt out on the poli stuff, and we both have been so worn out between work and the kids and looking for a new house. We all love and miss you all