I wish I could say I thought I was

sorabji.com: Are you stupid?: I wish I could say I thought I was
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By Margret on Wednesday, February 17, 1999 - 03:36 pm:

    Actually, as far as I can tell, I suffer from the opposite problem. Not smarts maybe so much as a highly developed level of consciousness -- the thing that causes one to be self-conscious and sub-conscious and all the other bad things that could come from it. The awareness of self-awareness and its limitations is a terrifying never-ending funhouse hall of mirrors. I used to smoke pot because it let me just let me focus my thoughts instead of being the victim of their whirlwindlike discontiguous onslaught -- it made me dumber and I LIKED IT. Now pot just makes me paranoid, and I can't get to sleep at night for wondering what happens after you die (I realize most people experience this anxiety at like 8 years old, but I'm a late bloomer). What happens to your CONSCIOUSNESS?

By Cyst on Wednesday, February 17, 1999 - 04:01 pm:

    my friend's family smokes pot all day long. I remember going to their house one time and my friend went to the store and I was alone there. I read the things magneted to the refrigerator, and one was a list of instructions on how to prepare for a colonoscopy. I couldn't figure out how you could get stoned knowing you had a colonoscopy (sp? -- is that even a word?) appointment.

    he was such a stoner, I bet he got stoned on his way to the appointment. he used to get stoned in the fucking kmart.

    I really don't understand the sort of pain a cancer patient would need to be in to want to get stoned. I would get stoned and all I would be able to do is think, oh jesus fuck, I have cancer.

    maybe you get used to being stoned, though. I used to smoke six times a day, and I got so used to it, I would purposely try to think up situations that would be exciting stoned. like, I've never taken 10 bong hits and then gone straight to the downtown police department to get some forms processed, I'll go do that today.

    I saw saving private ryan (not much choice of movies here) the other day and decided that I would just go ahead and postpone any thinking that I should be doing about what death means. fuck the examined life, man.

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