i'm listening to garbage "stupid girl" and i'm verrry bored. i guess this is a "wooden post". hahahaha!!! i will basically make an ass of myself until someone posts something intersting.

but pez, you are always interesting. But, I have found the net getting very boring.

Woah. I"m listening to that soung now too. I love Garbage. They're a rockin' group. Have you heard "as heaven is wide"?

I like Garbage too, but I heard them live on TV, yucko. They're definitely a studio group.

i will never fit in here. was at the social security office for the first part of this morning to get a new ss card, and then spent the second half in a rat maze at the dmv to get a new license. both of which i had lost. i got ticketed for the license thing. but i was mellow. "For example, after describing how the discovery of a dead rat led the hotel cashier to make an error in his bill, Tarrou added: 'Query: How contrive not to waste one's time? Answer: By being fully aware of it all the while. Ways in which this can be done: By spending one's days in an uneasy chair in a dentist's waiting room; by remaining on one's balcony all a Sunday afternoon; by listening to lectures in a language one doesn't know; by traveling by the longest and least-convenient train routes, and of course standing all the way; by lining up at the box-office of theaters and then not buying a seat; and so forth'" - "The Plague", Camus.

garbage is beautiful. i got their first album four years ago, when i was a freshman. but i made the mistake of not locking up my backpack during pe class and it was stolen, along with no doubt's tragic kingdom, my walkman, and my wallet. it was just after my 15th birthday, the day that i was going to go to the bank and deposit my birthday money in my savings acount. i found a used copy of their first cd at the wherehouse yesterday. i have the second on tape and a book with the vocals and guitar parts. i remember the day that i got that book, in england. i was staying in a dorm at the college in cheltenham, and i got out my flute and played all the guitar parts. fun!

I really don't dig on garbage. Seems like they really don't know themselves. I've always thought of them as just another "filler" band; two-hit wonders. Anybody remember Veruca Salt? (think I got that right?) Meredith Brooks? I don't understand what makes Garbage so wonderful. Well. Shirley Manson is hot. I really think she's related to Marilyn Manson, though. heh.

You seemed to dig on Garbage well enough when I was around. I don't regard them as a two hit wonder. (Probably because they had THREE hit songs). And I like the style of their music. I haven't found anyone who does it quite like they do. At any rate. I've dug on Garbage for years now, and will continue to, because they _rule_.

if my opinion matters, which is doesn't.....i they seemed to suck monkey poop LIKE the one hit wonders such as Veruca Salt....

suck monkey poop...... now, what would that be, roughly translated to a sexual term? hot bananas?

Whatever. I guess antithesis needs someone to stand up for him. Yes, I'm in a foul mood today, especially when it comes to people who say one thing and do another. (Not you, Patrick). I think so. Hot bananas...I like it.

hot bananas could be translated to a sexual positive.... i'm referring to an anal negative.......with a straw why you so foul? cause someone went spelunking in your innards today?

Pretty much. I don't like it when small hairy nurses with moles stick their fists up my vagina.

Because you prefer them to have prairie dogs, right? I've heard it just isn't the best experience if they don't use prairie dogs.

Pretty much. I think if the prarie dogs had been there, it would have been all better. As it is, there's something humiliating and incongrous about a pelvic exam. Every time get one, I have a passionate desire to be a man.

Yeah, but then you'd have to get your prostate checked out. That's fun too.

my favorite is when they put half their hand up my, uh, sugar factory and then press the other palm on my belly and lean on my vaginal wall with their whole weight...... and then, the best part is having some asshole doctor (whose name you picked at random from a book, hoping they would be understanding becuase they are a woman---HA) lecture you for thirty minutes about "it's going to be really interesting to see what happens to breast cancer rates of women your age who have had nipple piercings..." my roommate endured the horror of the obgyn opening up the door, exposing her to an entire hallway of people and yelling " i'm gonna need the PRE TEEN SPECULUM"....she is 25. aaauugghhhh!

Sugar factory! Ha! And there's just nothing like a doctor who wants to have a conversation while she's ramming cold metal up you. Do they not understand that small talk is not required before penetration in those circumstances?

oohhhh, stainless steel speculum... what was your name again, doc?

Yup. They did that to me too. I'm so tiny. Luckily, she had it in a drawer in the room. Actually, what she said was: "I think I'll use the virgin's speculum..." Jesus. How embarassing. This one was pretty quiet. And I'm sorry Dougie, but I would rather have some guy feel up my balls than some chick stick a huge metal thing up me, clamp it open, and stick a broom-like object up there. Uh uh. No good.

man! sugar factory, thats good, i gotta take that home.... it will fit well with the other euphamisms in my house such as "poo" "bunny" "puss"

i just made it up!

They aren't checking for prostate cancer when they juggle your nuts, that's testicular cancer they're looking for. When they check for prostrate cancer, they root around your rectum for a while. I think that if some guy is going to juggle my balls, I'd feel better if he were dressed as a clown. God i hope pez is getting less bored.

What he said, Isolde. Although I always thought my doctor was checking to see if I had the full pair there, sem. Never hurts to make sure.

What? Hunh? I'm confused. What who said?

What I meant was, what semillama said is correct. Juggling nuts == checking for testicular cancer. Sliding a lubed, latexed finger up your butt == checking for prostate cancer.

not as bored. slightly grossed out. what's the recommended age for the first visit to the gyno? i don't like going to visit the doctor. last year they did blood tests and a heart test and i felt really really embarassed.

oh, and what did happen to meredith brooks? i always felt like a bitch after hearing her.

I never mentioned either cancer. That was someone else. Please. I know the difference between the prostate and the testicles, people. I paid attention in Biology, yo.

yo.

yo.

yo.

You wanna take this outside, yo?

Hey, yo.

yo, yo.

YO!

yo mama

is so fat she can't even drive a car in pakistan.

yo-yo ma

my mom's not a yo-yo!

When I was ten I was the kid at my school with no friends (real ones) and I was friends with this guy that I thought was really cool, but he went to another school and, at his school, he was the kid with no friends. We logged onto this BBS that listed all the other BBS's in Washington DC. It was 1982. There was a gay BBS called the Switchboard. We read through the posts and found a vocabulary listing that talked about docking, golden showers and fisting. It was a triumph of 300 baud. The uncool kid and I conspired to write a post from one of his cool (hence bully) friends from school, listing real phone number. We referred to the vocabulary sheet and inserted (aiee!) as many of the defined terms as we could. We posted the message and forgot. Cool Bully Kid got like twenty-five calls the first day the post ran, and maybe twice as many the next day. His parents were devout Catholics (other loser kid went to a Catholic school) and finally, after interrogating the pervies, they figured out that all this came from a post on a gay BBS. They didn't know what a BBS was, but they knew it was evil, so they called up to complain. Sadly, they could only get the sound of a modem when they called. According to Bully Cool Kid (as told to one of his Bully Cool Conspirator Friends), his parents tried day after day after day before finally deciding that Satan was at work in their child and Bully Cool Kid needed an exorcism. Two weeks later, after much Catholicking and Protesting by Bully Cool Kid, one of Bully Cool Kid's parents' friends mentioned what a BBS was and how one could get access. The parents went to work and got a court order to seize the phone company records of the gay BBS. There was, however, nothing to seize, because there was no recording mechanism documenting incoming calls to the gay BBS and I got off scot free, although I had to say an insane number of Full rosaries when I confessed my sin. Bully Cool Kid got ostracized by his parents for years thereafter. Loser Kid #2 and I hung out together more after that and things started to turn around for us. We had the power of the new communications revolution at our hands, and nobody could fuck with us. Sure, we were geek loser tools with no life, but we had been given superhero powers and we knew it. A few casual downloads from other BBS's gave us the secret of making free local calls from payphones. All you had to do was punch a hole in the mouthpiece receiver and connect it to the metal cord, then dial the number. You got a little shock but the calls went through. We learned subsequently how to fake out telecommunications switches with a few neon tubes and a variable resistor, and soon we were making free long distance calls, too. People around us noticed that we were no longer the underconfident slobs with overbites that we once had been. We were not magnetic or majestic, but we seemed sinister. Providence struck one day when we got an ad for mushroom spores off yet another BBS. We'd watched William Hurt in monkey mode in Altered States and we were ready to go. BBescapades. So stupid. So fun.

More! More stories!

yo' mama's so ugly, she walked into taco bell and everyone else ran fo' the border. teeheehee!