as a matter of fact.

we know. but we like you anyway. it's ok, man. it's all about the bling bling anyway.

i thought bling bling was a brand of taco sauce....

I thought of little ringlets of hair going bouncy- bouncy. or some kind of weird rubbery matter quivering on my desktop. I want to go to Sqorshellous and lay on a living mattress. Vrooooom!

bling bling... Isn't that those new underwear out?

You know, I've never had a nice rack until I became a mom... This is one of the perks! Oh sorry, I guess I can tear my attention away from my newly enlarged chest and actually follow conversation... What were we talking about?

take some pictures and let us in on it.

share the bosom goodness

Speaking of bling bling.. or do they go bloingy bloingy?

Bling Bling? As in the fish processing plant in Germany run by southeastern Asian lemurs?

1) What are you supposed to think when someone makes up lame excuses to be near you, is more awkward and yet more cheerful when they're around you, accidentally substitutes his last initial for your last initial when writing your initials down on a list on several occasions, and yet is already married? Is this harmless or cause for alarm? 2) Why did my mother spend 2 months persuading me to come home the weekend of June 9, so that she could come home at the same time, so that we could spend time together for my birthday....only to spend three hours with me on Saturday afternoon, the rest of the weekend being spent shopping with her best friend? And why, when I said, "Hey, don't I count more than that? I'm your daughter," did she say "you'll get over it"? And then why did she cry when I left, big melting starry-eyed tears, not sad I'll-miss-you tears? What was that about?

1) Flashing red lights and klaxons would be a little more subtle 2) i have nothing for that one

1) If you want some amusement, whenever you are around the Man of Subtle, just start talking about various historic sexual harassment lawsuits, such as Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas, Paula Jones, etc. Then report on the results to us. 2) Your mom, well, what can you do, huh?

2) Ah, nothing. I was just feeling sorry for myself. 1) It's not sexual harassment at all. He's done absolutely nothing to make me feel uncomfortable, and you all know how skittish I am in that department, so this is saying a lot. If anything, I think he's just fond of me, and I actually really enjoy the fondness and attention. It's just that everybody else I mention this to (usually because he's done something cute that I want to share) thinks he's sketchy and should be avoided. So....you think that, too?

1) Being married doesn't stop you from being attracted to someone. He probably really likes you and admires you and maybe even has sinful thoughts about you, but that's just showing his good taste. I'm glad he's not sleazy enough to do anything about it. If he does, report back and we'll come up with ways to fry him. In the meantime, just be careful not to do anything to overly encourage him and mention his wife frequently enough to remind both of you.

Whew, that's what I thought! I can't imagine him ever doing anything sleazy, anyway...he's not like that. I might be going on a business trip with him (and I think him alone) in September...I thought of talking about his wife, too. We talk a lot about his kids, so I could bring up his wife casually and it wouldn't look weird.

Ha! Already he's "accidentally" run into me in the halls 3 times this morning. I'd be creeped out if I didn't like him so much.

sounds like middle school all over again.

There's that whole married part which kind of ruins the simile, but whatever. I like this. It's very sweet.

do you believe humans to be monogamous?

Many humans, yes. I would bet everything that he's one of them. Don't worry.

I think you are kidding yourself to think humans are monogamous, muchless him. I'm not worried about anything other than you kidding yourself he's not interested in you, and he only has pure intentions.

Yeah, he's probably got a crush on you. Wanna bet his wife would be unhappy 'bout that?

Don't be ridiculous. You once told me that if you weren't married, you'd ask me out. Does this mean that your marriage would be threatened if I came to visit you? Of course not -- you love your wife and are committed to her, and I sure as hell wouldn't try to seduce you. For God's sake. Good people do exist.

So do creeps. This guy needs to be sweet on his wife, not you. Not that you aren't deserving of someone being sweet on you, just someone who is in a position to act on it without causing hurricanes in the emotional aether surrounding the folks involved. Especially if that's more than two.

for chrissakes spider, just fuck him and get it over with.

oo. uh. ignore that.

i said that spider? damn The fact you believe humans are monogamous seems to me to set you up only to fall. Good people do exist and good people cheat. Cheating is not indicative of a bad person. Its difficult, this subject, because I can't help feel like Im up against the teachings of the Catholic church. I don't think humans are monogamous animals. I think we are conditioned to be monogamous, but i don't think we are biologically monogamous. Because I believe this, my marriage (in some eyes) is in a constant state of threat.

actually you could even argue that we are socially conditioned to cheat. at least men anyway. all we hear, it seems, is that "men are going to prowl", "men will always cheat", "men are pigs this way" etc. etc.. Its almost esteemed in movies and tv...adultery that is. How often have you felt yourself empathizing with the adulterer in a movie?

why can't you just suck it up and be an upstanding human, patrick? you need to rent the african queen. listen hard.

where have I indicated im not an upstanding human?

you just talk talk talk, don't you? you think you can make it all ok with your human-nature observations. well, son, to be human is to rise above our animal instincts. damnit, patrick. show some spine. show some self respect.

thats a problem for me, that im half-assedly working on.

i don't expect to make it at all. things are hard lately. very. im not trying to be a self deprecating little bitch, im just wating for things to fall back into place. so in the mean time Im kinda snippy.

in fact, what you have said is making my face flushed and red...i can feel it, still! i do talk...talk...talk.

i'm just talking out my ass, patty. i had a great weekend. how was yours?

the thing is you arent jsut talking!!! you couldnt be more accurate. If i had known what i was getting i would paid some money for those words. mine was pretty uneventful. im at the bottom of the elipse while it sounds like you are on the top.

Nowhere to go but up, then. Hope the ellipse isn't very flat, though.

you'll be ok patrick. even the moon goes dark once a month.

I've tried to respond, like, 6 times, and each time someone has come in to talk to me. So let me just say: you're all talking out your asses. There is no danger of any kind on either of our parts. Settle down.

Well, then you're guilty of blowing it all out of proportion in the first place, birthday gal.

yeah....it was you who brough it up missy.

No, I didn't. My intention was to survey your attitude. I gave you three ambiguous examples, and look how you interpreted them.

Spider, At least you are being cautious

Ambiguous my ass.

I'm sorry I brought this up. I wish this could be deleted.

don't be, spider. if you're sure that both you and he are on the same level, and you (obviously) enjoy the attention on this level, then great. you have a quirky friendship with a married man? no blood, no foul. you gave us three ambiguous examples, and you knew how we'd interpret them. you knew. you did. this was a trap.

It wasn't a trap, it was an experiment. I told you, I wanted to survey your attitudes. I hadn't made predictions about your responses beforehand. Interesting how you infer ill motives.

"is it harmless or cause for alarm?" i think he consensuous was that is was not a cause for alarm, then the idea drifted towards a discussion of monogamy, at least i pushed it there. Im not sure where you are getting hung up here spider. god dammit spider why don't you let us rout for you? I'm happy to admit I like the fact that you are getting a married man's attention. That says something about YOU.

OK, let's forget it, then. I don't know what I was getting at. Tennis, anyone?

SOOOOOOO did you listen to the 7" or not..eh?

I didn't infer ill motives. I should have said he obviously wanted Spider to be his skanky orgy slut, but I didn't. Maybe I'm losing it.

Maybe you just need to practice.

...being a skanky orgy slut he meant to say.

I've got my black belt in skanky-orgy-slutarate.

Well you _ARE_ Australian. heh

Patrick: not yet. I have displayed it in a prominent place in my kitchen, though. Tonight.

Kids, scroll up and refresh your memories. The situation has gotten strange. More later.

This sounds juicy.

Oo! Ambiguous anticipation!

Well, actually, now that I've talked to my roommate about it, I don't feel like typing it all out. Basically, for about a month, he couldn't hide the fact that he liked me, but then I acted stupid on Friday, and I don't think he's attracted to me anymore, and BECAUSE I AM STUPID I feel ambivalent about that. WHY WHY WHY? Why do I care about what he thinks of me? He's married! He'll be 40 in 2 weeks. He's geeky. This is not someone who should even register on my radar. I'm nervous, too, because tomorrow I have to have lunch with him and our whole department, and then I have to go with him to a sales meeting where he'll talk about me to the staff, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to behave myself. I'm afraid I'm going to act like a jerk. Fortunately, after that, I won't see him for the rest of this week and all next week because he'll be in New Orleans. Seriously, if you believe in any higher power, voodoo, superstition, or your own ESP, please send good wishes my way tomorrow at noon Eastern Standard Time, so that everything goes well. Thanks.

He doesn't think you're stupid at all, not if he's not stupid (I hope that doesn't make sense or you probably are stupid). You're just making it up in your mind because you've got some bad lovebug juice in your veins. p.s. I can't believe I wrote "I've got my black belt in skanky-orgy-slutarate" in this thread. I am such a looser.

You'll get your heart broken.

they're all gonna laugh at you.

Wrong. There's no "they" and I haven't done anything inappropriate.

then promise you won't "behave" at lunch. good wishes.

don't you see the conflict spider? "This is not someone who should even register on my radar" Why on earth would you say that? Are you placing that much stock in the sanctuary of marriage? Superimposed morality impeding nature. Humans aren't monogamous creatures. You can't just set us up and not dish the details. Can you explain what you mean when you say "you acted studpid"? Did you act stupid or just human? And how can you assume that he whimsically just turned off his affection for yo? No one i know can turn their fondness on and off like a switch like that. The truth is, most women who are abused don't leave the man right away. Know what I mean? And I realize you may get all weird and clam up, but this is the most interesting thing going on around here lady. Help us out.!

I was good! I behaved myself! Thank you for your good wishes, Droopy! Patrick, I'll write more from home.

they're all gonna laugh at you.

Mad Scientist's Corollary: They'll stop laughing at you when you SHOW THEM ALL!!!!!

Depends on what you show them. On a similar topic: There was a girl who lived near the house who drove a truck that had "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" in huge letters in the back window. And what's wrong with geeky?!

Nothing is wrong with geeky. What I meant by "shouldn't register on my radar" was that I should not be thinking about him so much. Because *I* value marriage so much, including other people's marriages. I hope. I'm feeling paranoid, so I'm going to continue this in a new thread.

As long as you experiense only fantasy with this person that's fine. Don't draw a line in the moral sand and say I won't cross it. Build a wall. After all I do believe I granted you one erotic fantasy in another thread. Now, enjoy the fantasy for what it is. Make believe to keep us sane.