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My roommate, R, is going to move to Indiana in August. I'm staying here. Now, I'm staying here because: a) I have a job here a 1) I like my job here a 2) I don't want a new job b) I like the area. It's got lots of neat things. c) I don't have the desire to move R thinks these reasons are "weird" and doesn't buy them. She has a hard time understanding why I'm choosing to live here by myself. She believes I will "fail" and "will not be able to make it." Can someone please explain to me what is so mind-boggling about the idea of me living by myself? While you're there, please explain how I could fail at living on my own. Do you want my credentials? Well, let's see. My IQ's over 70. I can tie my shoes. I can read and write and do complex math. I can drive a car. I can cook. I pay all my bills. I have no debt. I have no addictions. I have no stalkers. I know to come in out of the rain. I stay away from strange dogs. My forehead is free of tattoos depicting swastikas or orders to kick me. I think that about covers it -- how about you? On a related note, what do you consider an appropriate response to the question "why are you so defensive?"? Thanks in advance. |
I don't blame you for not wanting to go to Indiana. There is nothing mind-boggling at all about your desire to stay where you are. You roomate is taking the mind-boggling position here. Im listening to the weird song where this girl is singing "Bring me men........Men to match my mountain...........Bring me men.......Men to match plains" its a weird song. "why are you so defensive?" "because i you are constantly challenging my positions and questioning every damn thing i do." |
Who can take a nothing day, And suddenly make it all seem worth-while? Well it's you girl and you should know it, With each glance and every little movement, You've shown it. Love is all around no need to waste it. You can have the time, Why don't you take it? You're gonna make it after all You're gonna make it after all |
As to why you are being defensive, wouldn't anyone be if they were told that their basic thought processes don't make sense or that they are incapable of living on their own and that they have to defend what they want in life? Hell I would pass defensive and go straight to bitch. Take the offensive. Why is it that you can't support or even acknowledge that I have made a decision in my life that is different than your decisions? Why is it that I have to live my life they exact same way you live yours? Am I not my own person and you yours? Don't take her telling you that you can't do it to heart. There is no logical reason why you can't. It just sounds to me like your roommate is jealous of you taking this step without her, or maybe your roommate is just controlling and wants you to do things his/her way, when you have your own life to live. |
Anyway....thank you. I felt like I was going insane for a minute there. "As to why you are being defensive, wouldn't anyone be if they were told that their basic thought processes don't make sense or that they are incapable of living on their own and that they have to defend what they want in life?" THANK YOU. I'm not perfect, but I'm far from being the complete fuck-up she seems to think I am. God, I'm angry. I know what's going on. She's hurt because I didn't beg her not to go. It's none of my business where she goes! I'm not her husband! She's not responsible to me. I'm happy she's transferring to Notre Dame -- it's a great program, and it will be very good for her career. Go, and thrive! What more can you ask of a friend? |
Friends encourage each other and sacrifice time spent together to help the other be the best person they can be. It isn't always easy, but you just do it. I am sure you will do fine on your own. |
My flatmate hasn't come home for three weeks and owes me $200. At what point can I sell his stuff. Or keep his stuff and sell mine? He's got a king sized bed and a massive tv. |
so that's the way i tend to see spider's friend. she's actually very concerned about the arachnid and thinks that she can scare or bully her into something she felt was safe. this could be completely wrong. R might just be a complete bitch. i think living alone for a while will be good for you. you'll probably turn into a wild child and we'll get to watch. |
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I will never be a wild child. I'm too much of an elitist snob. |
i had a woman flake on a recent film shoot. she waited 3 days to come up with a story to explain herself. her story consisted of things WE should have done that would have helped HER not flake. Deflection the blame off herself right back to us. |
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