I contemplated buying a 8 ball and crashing some doors sealing the deal to a singles parents' life of swanson dinners and an exploding porn collection. At least for a minute. But the weather feels so damn good. And I've been getting up at 5 am because the girl's circadian rhythm couldnt be more fucked these days. Patchy rain clouds and breezy cools. This time of year used to bring a trailer of promise. The tingle of the leaves and crisp air. The eve of Halloween and my birthday consistently triggered childhood memories of gifts, candy, costumes and ghost stories. Later in my adulthood, gifts, drugs and really killer parties. Now. im not interested in either. Im here, there, now, for her. That little peanut. You should see her today. Right now, in her jeans and denim jacket (she is her moms daughter for sure)...coolio in her autumn garb. She'll drool on you and poop a crayon if you ask. Trick or treating in Laurel Canyon where the richies live and its flat. Eva, being so ridiculously cute has a quota. Not that Im a candy junkie, but, still, she should be able to wrap up nicely. This night and Im unsure if I have a spouse. We're there. We show up. I mean...I have one for sure. Our hearts can't get any colder or further apart however. And Im probably exagerrating on the temperature aspect, but whatever. The only intimacies are had at 3am under the mask of some good drugs these days. Who needs sleep anymore? So its Halloween and I, in my apathy, decided to wear my suit with this leather bombardier winter hat with the earflaps. Its not a costume and I wouldnt attempt to pass it off as one, but it is a bit different and thats all I can offer today. I look like an idiot and I feel like one too. |
After reading your post, I feel like a heel for giving you any shit over the past few months. I had no idea what the fuck you were going through. And there is nothing that i can say that could or would or should make you feel any better. Most of it would sound like a cliche at best. I will not do you the dis-service. Eri and I had a rough patch, but nothing compared to what you are going through now. My respect, and sincere apology. |
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Just hang in there. All marrieds go through rough periods. The secret is don't give up. And, never ever think of even the word divorce. Then you to can say you've been happily maried for 28 years some day. Also, the key words to remember are "yes, dear". They can sure save you a lot of pain. Besides, when was the last time you ever actually won an argument. When you come to realize, in relationships - we men are 99.9% of the time idiots, then the magic words will have meaning to you. |
start, and yes i mean that paragraph right up there. don't crash the doors, patrick |
How long have you been married? |