i wonder what Lucy would think of all this now? she's probably up in goose heaven, having her goose fuck fests, and caring not a bit. more often wonder how things are on sheila's mountain. the nature part of things are probably the same, as the season's come and go. i wonder if Bad Hair is still alive, and how the Lois' are getting on. i wonder if there have been any suicide attempts, or 400 lb men driving volvos, or near-misses on the cliff side. some things must have changed, while others probably have not. this is what's new so this year: i'm in the process of becoming a Big Sister. all the paperwork has been submitted, fees for background checks paid, and i completed the interview this past saturday. all that's left is for me to get my texas drivers license so that i can be covered under their blanket insurance policy, and then to get matched up with a Little Sister. by the end of the month i hope to be introduced to her. whoever she is, i'm excited to learn what kinds of things she likes to do. i went with my friend autumn and her little sister last year on a few outings. one day we took her to the state capitol building. you would have thought we'd taken her to las vegas or disney world, she was in such awe of the building. it's only 10 miles from her house, maybe less, and she'd never been there, not even on a school field trip. she's 9 years old, and spends a lot of time at school and church, or playing at home with her two older sisters. all three of them have different fathers. i've been spending a lot of time with a friend tim. friday night he took me to a punk rock pizza place. even though i insisted i hate pizza, he talked me into trying their pizza. holy shit it was good. they had the standard pepperoni, sausage, mushroom type pizzas, but they also had other kinds with spinach, or broccoli or whatever. we got one with chicken, tomatoes, and gorgonzola. the crust was thin and crunchy, and it wasn't overly spiced, the sauce wasn't overly sweet nor was it overly drenched in sauce or cheese. my god. we also split a pitcher of beer. the jukebox in this place rocked. i actually heard Beef Bologna by Fear for the first time since i was in high school... or maybe early college. then we went to see 25th Hour. if you haven't seen 25th Hour and you like or are open to the spike lee style of movie making, i urge you to check it out. it was so good, and might be my new favorite spike lee film (but it's really hard to knock mo betta blues out of first place). ed norton was brilliant, and there's the typical spike lee race/class rant, and 911 undertones, and a sexy puerto rican girl, and clubs and drugs and great music. kevin and i have gotten back in touch. we've seen each other about three times or so. we're not dating, we're just friends. there seems to be whole-hearted forgiveness. i enjoy spending time with him. in spite of trying my best to stay angry, to fall out of love, to convince myself and everyone around me what a horrible person he is, i just can't keep it up. i think what it boils down to is that we are two very good friends who have a really amazing chemistry, who did things to hurt each other during personally stressful times. we took it out on each other. we're both happier now and in a much better place. i had missed my friend. i've missed the person who made me laugh so hard the morning we both woke up on that tiny single bed in new orleans. i've missed the rapport we had, the ability to talk openly and honestly about a lot of things. i've missed knowing someone so well, from a to z, and being known that well by someone else, and how compassionate and calming he can be when i'm upset. how loving and sweet he can be as a friend. saturday i met with a small singing group that i'm going to join. they're a break-off group from the south austin gospel choir. i guess there was some political crap going on in that choir (a huge, well-known organization here) and there was a faction of members who were too busy trying to save other members to get any singing done. so there's this small break-off group. i haven't sang in a group since i was in the honolulu women's chorus and i miss it. my chords definitely are rusty, but hopefully it won't take too long to get them back. we met at a mexican restuaurant called Zuzu's. great food - fresh and hand made and healthy, like mexican health food. everything wasn't dripping in cheese. we each brought some ideas of music we want to sing, and the leader is a former choir director from vermont named nichole. we'll probably start singing/practicing in february. who knows if it will gel or not, but we'll see. i've lost a friend - cecily. it's funny how you can do twenty things to prove what a good person or a good friend you are, but if you flake out even once, they pounce all over you, or dump you, or consider you unworthy of friendship. people are so hard on each other. but i've made two new friends - melanie and katie. i have been so famished lately, it's ridiculous. my appetite is in an out of control phase. yesterday i ate a huge steak and salad for lunch, then a protein drink, and then peanut butter. at 3 in the afternoon i ate another enormous piece of steak and a cinnamon roll my roommate made, and some pickles and olives. for dinner i ate four tablespoons of peanut butter, a quarter of the lemon syrup cake, salad, more pickles, and another cinnamon roll. then i made a brandy alexander and ate some Reeses Bites. i also drank a two liter of club soda througout the day. the day before i ate an absurd amount of chocolate cake at melanie's birthday party. there was a thickly frosted and decorated german chocolate cake, and a rich espresso chocolate cake with espresso buttercream frosting. both homemade. i ate one piece of the first and two pieces of the second. and two homemade chocolate chip cookies. and a beer and half a bottle of red wine. the day before that was pizza and beer. today i'm trying to get off the vicious carb cycle, with big doses of tuna fish and olive oil and green tea. it seems a good remedy each time. tonight i'm going roller skating. wednesday i'm going with katie to see the derek trucks band. thursday there's kristie's going away happy hour and then a movie with bryan. friday i'm going with tim to see spoon at the mercury. saturday i'll probably pass out dead from exhaustion if i don't end up going to san antonio. sunday morning, as always, is yoga. i wanted to start yoga teacher training, but it's too expensive. this is debt pay-off year. so, that's a wrap. now. what's new with you?

today i had to give up the last of my vestiges of hawaii. when i applied for a texas drivers license, they took away my hawaii license. i am no longer kama'aina - at least not legally. this is devastating. i wonder if i could apply for a replacement drivers license in hawaii before they figure out i have a texas license?

I've lived in Maryland for 2.5 years and still have a PA driver's license and PA plates on my car. (I know it's illegal.) I just don't want to let go, either, and I'm not attached to a place as interesting as Hawaii. What's new with me? Hmmm. I started the Atkins diet on Monday, inspired by Nate's and Dave's successes. Today I am full of energy. I just outed myself as a total spaz by recommending the Mütter Museum to my boss as a diversion when he goes on his trip to Philadelphia for the American Library Association gathering this weekend. I could have said the Franklin Institute, or Independence Hall, or any other normal attraction, but no, I had to spontaneously volunteer the freakshow. I described it as "great!" and mentioned the fetal Siamese twin skeletons as a highlight. He gave me a frozen smile and ended the conversation. Ha! Ş|-|33R |\/|3! I'm reading the first book in George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" saga (called "A Game of Thrones") and would love to discuss it with someone. I'm also reading Eco's "The Name of the Rose," George MacDonald's "Lilith," the latest Glamour magazine (hey), and re-reading Henry James' "The Turn of the Screw." That's all I want to talk about. Sarah, I think your decision to have a little sister is fabulous. Good luck.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"melk" makes funny shapes in my mouth. last measure, monday morning, i'm six pounds from goal. go spidey!

Nate, it's been four days and I haven't lost a pound. What is going wrong? I eat things like: *eggs and sausage for breakfast -- no carbs *cheese and a salad with spinach, lettuce, cucumbers, and mushrooms for lunch -- minimal carbs *steak and broccoli for dinner -- minimal carbs I drink water and decaffeinated tea with Splenda. I take vitamins. I exercise. Should I be worried, or should I keep doing what I'm doing for the rest of the two weeks?

if you aren't hating the food, keep it up. i couldn't take more than a few bites of cold chicken last night. my weight loss has slowed down. i think it's because i'm not eating much at all and i have been skipping meals. i know that the more you eat, the more you lose on this diet but i'm getting really sick of meat and more meat. i don't think i was hating it like this the last time i did atkins. i'll stick with it for now.

spider, don't quit. in fact, eat more fat. i swear to god this works, it's incredible. put a pat of butter on your broccoli, eat a handful of peanuts between meals. i know it doesn't make sense on the surface, but just try it. try it for one week.

I'm not hating the food I eat so much as I'm missing the food I can't eat. Pasta, milk, cereal, yoghurt, fruit, bagels with peanut butter and huckleberry jam, toast with honey, chocolate... The thing is, I know I have elevated insulin levels and am in danger of developing diabetes, so I've become determined to change the way I eat for good. I have much more energy than I did last week, and I don't want to fall asleep after meals, so I know *something* good is going on. I just wish my fat would get off my ass and start burning away.

go for a brisk walk on an empty stomach!

no nuts, not until week 3. keep going. it takes a couple days to kick in, but when it does kick in it will freak you out. do that cup of broccoli every night, because that fiber is really, really important. you should keep your salad to 2 cups. and do eat more fat. are you in ketosis? if you're not in ketosis after four days, you might have to cut your salad down. a good meal is the inside of an ultimate cheeseburger. jack in the box is the best because they put condiments between bread and cheese, so the cheese slides off with the meat. other fast food you'll lose most of your cheese to the bun.

Sarah, it's so cold here that brisk walks take on another meaning. :) I could always walk around the mall.... Nate, I think I'm in ketosis...the book says it takes 2-3 days to kick in, right? I think you mentioned ketosticks somewhere -- can you get them at a corner drugstore? If I had to eat the inside of an ultimate cheeseburger every day, I'd make myself sick. I just don't like red meat that often. With the exception of the first day, I've been eating chicken, fish, and eggs for protein. But.....I think you're both right: I need to eat more fat. (I never thought I'd say that.) I think I need to space out my vegetables, too -- twice this week I ate them all at dinner. Maybe that's causing my blood sugar to rise. Jeez, if I thought I obsessed over food before...

do any of you find any thing distrubing about this? this diet sounds really nasty. im not criticising, but the more you talk about it, the more im sure i'll never consider it, should i feel the need to loose weight.

It's a very healthy diet for people who are pre-diabetic because it brings your insulin and blood sugar levels under control. The nastyness is sort of concentrated in the first two weeks, when you can eat only meat (beef, chicken, eggs, lamb, veal, fish, mutton, venison, squirrel, rabbit, buffalo, bear, cat), cheese, and certain vegetables. Then, each week, you add a little bit of food to your diet...nuts, berries, more fibrous vegetables at first, and then very gradually work your way to other fruit and brown rice and such. Atkins' book cites many studies that show that this diet actually lowers your cholesterol, blood lipids, and blood pressure levels. I know 4 people IRL who have gone on the diet and they report the same thing -- they're much healthier now than before, when they ate low-fat everything and lots of bread and pasta, etc.

pre-diabetic? IRL?

IRL = in real life Pre-diabetes Table that shows hyperinsulinemia (too much insulin; what I have) as a precursor to pre-diabetes.

The New York Times Magazine had a great article about the Atkins diet, how everyone thought it was all wrong and then they realized that the food pyramid was wrong and that it is, apparently, one of the better diets out there. I couldn't handle it, though. I never ate that much meat when I ate meat, maybe once a week. Day after day after day of it...ugh. Although I should lose some weight. Maybe I'll try this whole excercise thing. Bleh.

ever since mark posted this, wherein he wrote "I'm not someone who carries on or even thinks twice about food that tastes good. To me eating is a bodily function, and I eat food for one reason: To stay alive. In my opinion, any satisfaction that comes from eating should be kept private. Raving about great food is like saying you enjoy shitting. Well, who doesn't? But it's not polite conversation." i've felt really self conscious about how much i talk and write about and consider food and diet and eating. i don't concur with his opinion, but it has made me conscious about how much a lot of us talk about it, or how often each thread ends up talking about it. not that i mind. i mean, obviously it's really important to me, and i find it fun.

i love meat. spider: you can get ketosticks at a drugstore. liposis is the same thing, so you might find liposticks or something. ketones will be in your urine, so you might have noticed your piss smelling funny. or maybe not. i don't know how girls piss.

*snort* To be frank, the only difference in my urine is that it is now a nearly fluorescent yellow from all the vitamin B I've been ingesting. Thanks -- I'll look for the ketosticks tonight.

mark is a strange bird though.

my friend katie has been torturing herself by eating really bland foods with no seasonings in them. she claims that after eating this way for a couple of weeks, real food with spices and the like tastes incredibly good. talk about a strange bird. i keep telling her that she should become amish.

i love meat too. always have, but in college was led to believe that it was bad for you, that it caused heart disease and colon cancer, so i became a vegetarian for many years. i was never fatter or unhealthier as a vegetarian. so about this fat phenomenon i've discovered. i realize it goes against what everyone warns - that too much fat is bad for you. but as i continue to experiment with how much fat i eat in my diet, i am continually surprised. for example, both just last week (for a total of 10 days in a row) and over the holidays, i ate absurd amounts of sweets and carbs and drank alcohol like prohibition was about to be reinstated. i also maintained the same level of fat intake as i do when i'm doing my most recent high-protein-low-carb diet, which is to say about 45% fat, 40% protein, 15% carbs. i was probably eating even more fat by way of all the sweets i was eating. so in effect, i was probably eating close to twice the amount of calories i typically eat, and my exercise was the same, but maybe even less, because i was on vacation. well, i bloated up a bit while i was carbing out, but not very much, and even survived a period with very little bloating over the holidays. and two days after returning to the 45-40-20 ratio, the bloating went away, and i weighed the same as i did before the extended carb/calorie binge. the only negative effect from carbing out (as long as my fat intake was relatively high) was that i woke up with a slightly hungover feeling and i craved sweets and alcohol and i got hunger shakes. but my weight never actually changed. i don't know what any of this means, if anything, i just find it fascinating. especially given that back in july and extending back a year before that, i had gained about 10 lbs eating a high-protein-low-carb-medium/low-fat diet, and i couldn't take it off and was perpetually hungry (as well as somewhat depressed). as soon as i added more fat calories to my diet (and therefore more calories overall), i dropped weight really quickly and seem to have an easier time not gaining weight even when my caloric intake is so high that it would otherwise ensure that i should weigh 250 lbs by now. it's almost as if by eating more fat my body is better able to maintain statis. oh, and i've been sleeping like a baby. i fall asleep every night without drugs and sleep all night (except to get up to pee) and can often sleep up to 9 hours. as a chronic insomniac, this is unprecedented.

it really irks me now when people bring up the fat content in something and suggest something with less fat but tons of carbs like it will be better for people

have any of you seen the leptoprin ad? this freaky woman comes on and starts talking about a $153/bottle diet pill. she scares me. "if you're trying to lose five or six vanity pounds, leptoprin is NOT for you. it is too expensive and too powerful." www.leptoprin.com

vanity pounds? that's insulting. utter bullshit. heather, my housemate eats reduced fat peanut butter and frequently bakes low fat brownies from a box mix. it's absurd.

*three* people told me today i looked like i lost weight. it's because i'm wearing The Jeans and they seem to accentuate the fact that i don't have hips or thighs anymore. i said, yes, but this is how much i weighed when i first moved to texas, but gained a bunch of weight my first year here. one woman said i look like a stick figure. i wanted to tell her i weighed in this morning at 145! according to the height/weight chart published today in a special nutrition and exercise section of the austin american statesman, i'm "overweight" with something like a 27% body fat. and yet in reality my body unclothed appears to be nothing more than solid muscle, extra skin, and booty. i'd be shocked if i have more than 20% body fat. every time someone mentions my weight loss, inevitably they ask what i did to lose weight, and i reply, "i eat more fat". they just stare at me for a few moments, then laugh nervously. i smile, and say, "no, seriously." the conversation usually ends there, or they start talking about weight watchers or the hollywood diet or some such nonsense.

i went to the grocery store on my lunch hour and noticed that Nabisco Fig Newtons love themselves because they are FAT FREE! this is what i bought: beef brisket, trimmed boneless chicken breasts feta cheese kalamata olives, pitted shitake mushrooms flat leaf parsely fresh spinach celery coarse dijon mustard chianti petite syrah red zin club soda saturday tim is coming over for dinner before we go see spoon at the mercury. btw, where the hell is Danielsssss?

I think the BMI index is deeply flawed. It doesn't account for muscle, and...yeah. I don't like it very much. A lot of people I know who are slender or skinny are still "overweight" according to the bmi.

In response to "Nate". I was looking on the Internet for info. on Leptoprin. Do you know anyone who has taken it? Or any info. about this diet pill? It has me curious and am considering buying it but would like more info. on it if anyone knows. Karen

Karen....I myself was curious about the new pill. I debated on buying it and went on the net and saw Anorex and it says that it has the same ingredients and is half the price. I dont know if its worth it but I ordered it and just got it on the mail today. I have tried so many other things with no real results but I am really gonna try to stay positive and give this a try.

Anorex....now there's a catchy name. Sarah.....if you're around...did Lucy pass away?

Oops, I mean Sheila.

What makes you think that?

I was confused. :( Never mind.

yeah, lucy passed away well over a year ago, according to sheila. anorex. that's just wrong.

Oh, I thought that Spider was asking if SHEILA had passed away...then I saw Lucy and thought you meant Lucy Phurre, then I realized it was one of Sheila's geese.

yes. i was also like sem. mucho confused.

Today,i see this small bit of paper the wind had blown to my feet.it says GIVE UP BOOZE,EAT MORE,AND LOSE WEIGHT.[it was the head lines of a magazine].....this head line may well be true.

did anyone try anorex what a cool sight i hope i am not intrudeing i just ran across this, i have a couple of geese stories. they both have to do with geese holding children woth thier winmgs while pecking them brutally,they would make great "watch dogs".

yes i live in the bahamas my weight is about 148 and i would really like to be about 110 my height is 5ft3ins

I just recieved my 30 day supply of Leptoprin, then I saw an ad for Anorex!!! I'll let you know how it's working......

Nita I want to know more about leptoprin. Does it work? Is it safe?

Nita I want to know more about leptoprin. Does it work? Is it safe?

Yes. Is it safe?

I heard a good way to lose about 8 pounds of ugly fat overnight is to fall asleep with your head on the train tracks.

By Effy on monday, August 18, 2003 10:30 am: I have also seen the ads for leptoprin, and was wondering where I could get some info. I have also been small all my life 100 lbs. I have been really depressed the last year. I was devoriced, downsized from a 20 year job. I have gained about 25 lbs. I am 4'10 and can't stand the weight. My cloths don't fit and I can't buy new.Try putting 25 extra lbs into a size 5. I need help. Can anyone out there let me in on the news about this new pill. Thanks ever so.

Has anyone had any success with this new drug leptoprin, or is it going to be like those Phen-Phen pills that after a few years everyone finds out it kills you?

I lost 75lbs over a period of one year following a simple diet cooked in very little oil and avoiding refined sugar and just walking 3 miles a day. Belive me, I have tried everything on this planet including starvation (which only made me sick) and nothing works except changing your life style. I did it all, Slimfast, Weight Watchers, Sugar Busters, Atkins, yes they work, but not forever. Everything has side effects. All of these are hyped for a while and than we find out that they can do more harm than good. After breaking my ankle and could not excesise, I got depressed and ate mostly junk, you can guess the result... gained 18lbs and feel even more miserable, so I am feeling desperate enought to try this leptoprin or Anorex ( sounds awful) so let me know if any of you have had any success.

Who the hell ARE you people, and how can you possibly even consider that something called "Anorex" is anything except either a cruel joke or a total evil marketing scam? JESUS "BOB"!

I've had alot of luck taking ex-lax and eating toilet paper.

I lost a pound or two moving all my shit to a third floor apartment and helping some friends move into a house this weekend. . I thought "Anorex" was a joke. But I guess it's a really brilliant marketing scheme. Market to all those people who really want to be anorexic, but don't have the willpower.

I lost 10 lbs this month with on idea why or what I did. I like it, though. My body fat is at 19%, my cholesterol is fine, I am no longer anemic, and all of my horemone levels are normal. I can almost fit into my old clothes again. Woo hoo.

I gained ten pounds this month. :( I blame the chocolate. My family reunion is in 7 weeks. I will have lost it all by then, I swear.

i don't weigh myself, ever. seems to cause too many problems for people

Nor do I. I haven't a clue what I weigh. Whenever somebody asks and I try to estimate, they usually say, "Really? That much?" I'm no good at estimating.

I shouldn't weigh myself but I do. I gained several pounds this summer which kind of gets me down. However, I really shouldn't worry, because the insanity that is starting the new semester and missing you-know-who always knocks between 5-10 pounds off.

neither do i wisper, but when pairs of pants start to fit differently, this also causes worry.

when i was body building i would weigh myself several times a day. it probably wasn't a healthy habit, but man oh man was i lean mean fighting machine. now i'm not as lean and i haven't weighed myself in over 6 months.

actually, the truth is, i won't weigh myself until i can sorta tell that i'm getting back down to 145. right now i'm about 150-155. man isn't that just weird? size 8 at 155. size 6 at 145. still can't get over that even after all these years... i'm 5'3" for goodness sakes! just doesn't make sense.

I'm a size 10 at 145.

I'm happy because I'm on the downside of 200 pounds right now. I usually hover around 200. For the longest time after high school, I never strayed from 175, but I guess age, beer, and too much red meat and taters and not enough exercise catches up with you.

hey wisper. can you do fashion illustrations along the lines of those used with the Dior lines? We don't need them AS elaborate as some of his stuff, be we are going to use illustrations on buyers cards with this next collection.

hmmmmmmmm never tried. but i can, no harm there. i do enjoy black line inkyness!

we're looking someone to do buyers cards. it would need color to it, but like many fashion sketches it doesnt have to be perfect. could you do a quick sketch of your interpration of the assignment and scan it or something.....so we could see your style without actually having you commit to anything in great depth. you could email me.

yes, yes i could.

What about the leptoprin?

It makes your eyes yellow and is linked to the onset of Tourette's syndrome. Plus it hollows out your bones. And your hair starts falling out, and what's left turns really coarse and black , like ape hair.

And makes your skin appear slightly blue. . I had a friend who worked with a guy who supposedly had Tourette's... But everyone suspected he was faking it so he could get away with telling off customers.

And if you get pregnant,your spawn will be mutants.