I'm sitting here, in a pure white computer lab, surrounded by my friends, all of whom are laughing away at the prison penpal Web page. Damn! It's fuunny! Horny people will to take anything.

and the address would be...?

Hmmmmm....

Jim, you seem to be in an unusually pensive mood lately. All these "hmmmmmmm" posts... Care to tell us what's on your mind?

I was just pondering, in this particular instance, the type of soul that would correspond with a prisoner, and THEN, do "letter sex."

mrrrow letter sex *lmao* Anyway my intrepid skills have found you the linkage... please hold: http://www.penpals-n-prison.com/ but wait... theres more: Tired of the same old dating scene? Just looking for a friend? Well, if you are, this is the place for you. PENPALS-N-PRISON.COM was created to bring together lonely inmates with people in the outside world. Our number one priority is to offer quality assistance to you and the inmates. Come inside and browse, you might be surprised at what you find!

Oh, but you forgot their most earnest caveat: >Please remember the inmates listed on this website are seeking sincere communication. >Please do not send letters containing >pornography. The inmates do not want it >and can get in trouble for possessing it. Since when can cons get in trouble for having porn? I thought they had a 1st Amendment Right to porno. And cable. And gym equipment. And chunky peanut butter/shd they so desire. Isn't that why all those jailhouse lawyers drag the state into court every chance they get? To secure their rights on the inside? hehehe... I can't WAIT to see what this site is abt! Details to follow...

This sight is slaying me. SLAYING ME! If you want to write to one of these cats, ot catessas, you have to fill out an INMATE ADDRESS ORDER FORM, and then pay varying amounts, from $5 - $36, based on the number of inmates you wish to correspond with. Everyone is looking for a kind heart, generally someone between 18-45, and someone with a warm personality. One in particular takes care to mention he is "well grounded," and "spiritually in touch." I haven't checked out the female "nominees" yet.

VANILLA VIXEN ,marry me?[i trust you are not on death row yet]

vv: you have serious reading comprehension issues

so true.

yeah, but i love his use of all caps instead of quotes"". It spices things up.

heather,dave,wisper,i bet you are all american?why do all three of hate eastern europeans?is it back to the cold war again?did your parents condition you to say this?did they tell you to beware of the red peril?i admit to being an an eastern european,is sorabiji shut down to eastern europeans?i think not.sorabji is an open foram,as such it must be open to all people.sorabji is the mouths of many people.is sorabji your own private chat line and e-mail system?does it save you money on phone bills?what do you do all day?do you work,do you pay tax?or are you just wasting time,thinking how smart you are?i understand all three of you better than you understand yourselfs,if you want the respect of other people,give them respect.your attack on me is totally wrong,you attack me from lack of understanding.

two thirds right on the first question. astoundingly wrong about the rest. hormones much?

I sent that link to my workmates yesterday, I forgot all about it. I think the viper's problem may be that no one has welcomed him in true sorabji fashion.

dave,who is the non american?am i astoundingly wrong about the rest?if i am,tell me how. I do give you a certain amount of respect,due to your most interesting accounts in other threads.i look at,and study all threads,it is my interest,at present. i look fowards to your american or non american opinion.as for for hormones,i dont have any at all.

moonit,are you open to new members,or is this an exclusive club?i think i have been through the initiation ceremony allready.

wisper is canadian. the rest is wrong because you jumped to the wrong conclusion. nobody was challenging you. you seem to respond to statements in an unusual way, maybe because of a language barrier or something. it's kinda cute.

dave, thanks for that,you are probable correct.i like the term cute.

Yes, double-V, they were initially referring to the common mistake by folks who begin posting here of replying to a post by a person who only posted once and that was 5 years ago. And as your closest relative on the boards, let me give you the official sorabji welcome: Fuck you, you ass. (That's a joke,I say, a joke, son.)

actually i was refering to the fact that vanilla vixen was NOT IN PRISON but looking at a web site, therefore not likely to be on death row neither was she the horny one and that's just this thread

Vil's posts remind me of Zippy the Pinhead. In a good way.

You can't keep a good Lithuanian down.

hey vaginal viper....do you take medicins?

oh Vipy, i honestly do love the way you type. it's so fun. now even more than before :)

hi kids,you having fun? Im here for the next 15 to 20 years,minimum.Why is Dave the only American who understands where im at? Dont even think about taking the piss out out of Dave,he is a dam nice guy.

hi kids,you having fun? Im here for the next 15 to 20 years,minimum.Why is Dave the only American who understands where im at? Dont even think about taking the piss out out of Dave,he is a dam nice guy.

he sure the hell is! we understand each other perfectly.

p.s. i say this this two times, cuz,you yanks are so dam thick,you dont know what you are talking about.[dave excepted]Semillama,i am surprised at you,i thought you were an intelligent person,perhaps i am wrong,i hope not.Heather,you think you are bright?my i.q.is 149,try to beat that. Tbone,where where is the the bone?in your pants or in your head?patrick,you irish?how many english people have you blown to bits in the last few years?wisper,i now understand your problem,you are a lesbian.i look forward to the next time we have a cosy chat,and you must admit,this is the most interesting talk you have had for four years.[love and kisses,]

dave,RIGHT ON BRO.

(dogkiller)

jesus pleases!!!!! guns and roses, viper, is it a woody you're hoping for... is it validation they are one in the same thing are they not? and if not what is the distinction... in plain and simple physiological terms...anyone but heather as she has her head up her own ass much too much is that the same thing as a climax, or at least similar in experience - heather take the floor

good job dog.

vv, all these other folks are such assholes! even though they're charming in their own way, they're so caught up in their own egos that they can't even see how messed up their message may be interpreted by people from other cultures. this ain't serbia. my momma doesn't suck goat cock and the ass-diddlers need to learn about a new technology called soap and water. silly luddites, they should be pitied (as well as studied) for their incredible naiveté. rock out with your cock out, vv!

dave: dude, tell us more. our ears are burning for a sophistocated learning!

not my job, panther.

dave: hopefully no one from serbia will view your message as it is culturally offensive. I didn't know that women from serbia suck goat cock. asshole!!!!!!!!!!!

ronda, darling, you know me so well but i have to be honest and say that you're confusing me certainly i was not attacking our lovely viper, only making a small statement. he/she had an erotic dream about me for heaven's sake...how can i complain?

yes dear, you are confused and for that I take no credit. sweet dreams viper...

maybe i'm confused by the one a day/ panther/ ronda business

yes,you are confused.

...as a hound dog digs a hole...

(continued) for that I take no credit. I will credit you for a skewed observation of god knows what... don't personalize my comments, its my nature all in fun!

don't personalize?

ronda, i was representin serbian style. y'know, being that i'm all down wit eastern europe and shit. they know i'm legit.

how about all in fun... you both missed the positive...

Dave, they who?

dave,tvarich,[that means most smart,exellent and hung like a horse,good buddy]in Russian.You have the most amazing grasp of Eastern European logic,you understand why my lighthearted comments are regarded as insults,and vice versa.Untill now,i have regarded americans as bigots,but now i understand there a few free thinking minds out there.

agatha,yes,i admit i love killing dogs,and i do prefer the slow garotting method.

ronda,you are a good peacemaker,you cheer me up,You must read my thoughts,i love guns n,roses [mostly,sweet child of mine]i love that track,its very good for making love to,in front of a big log fire.

one a day,thank you tvarich.

one a day,thank you tvarich.

one a day,this is not a piss take,it is a glitch on this f`````g key board.

panther,you are not often here,i bet you have plenty of ideas to offer,so lets hear them.

Tbone,i do not have a problem with Tbones,i just eat them.

Tbone,p.s.do you know what i do with hound dogs?i kill them S-L-O-W-L-Y,to maximise the pain and suffering.[sweet dreams]

heather,i rather envy you,all the lesbians i have known get drunk and have endless sex together,your life must be an eternal orgy.[lucky you]

patrick,when you finish playing with your semtex,post a note,so i can take the piss out of it.

wisper,contact heather,she is also a lesbian

WTF???????

sem,....you need to be more like Dave,or Ronda.they are smart people.they should work as spin doctors for your president George Bush.Then you would not have so many useless,and expensive wars.

eri,you have not missed a lot,just a small war and an intervention by the U.N.consisting of Dave and Ronda.

thankyou viper, its always a pleasure to experience the awesome wisdom of great and straightforward minds such as is your's...

heather, do you have more keyboard hell to offer?

goddam, vv. you got me all sportin wood. c'mere so i can bury it in your ear. it'll be just like your dad, only more! ronda, i have 73 words for ya: slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp.

"By My Name is TBone on Saturday, July 19, 2003 - 02:59 pm: ...as a hound dog digs a hole... " You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?

ronda,steady on,you are 50 percent of my U.N.peacekeeping force.without you,i press the big red button.

dave, you needn't exert your compulsive fingers on my account

Dave,you have gone all mumbly and slurpy,STOP DRINKING THAT KENTUCKY BURBON RIGHT NOW,IT WILL ROT YOUR GUTS,AND GIVE YOU WIND.

tom stankus,if you taste as good as a Tbone,tommorrow you also get eaten.

...Is this really Butte, Montana or just existential blues? -- He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he'd like to PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess I should call AL PACINO!

if wisper wasn't too young for me, and her boyfriend didn't mind, and she didn't live reallyreally far away, i might very well be all over that. wisper is a lovely and incredibly cool person. she, however probably wouldn't go for it. eating tbone? kind of amusing. but that dog killing business? it really is awful, not funny in the least.

viper rocks this website

I know I posted this before,but it seems fitting.How bout them dog kickers ain't they mean? Kicking them puppy dogs in the spleen,kicking them black dogs,kicking them white,kicking them puppy dogs till they bite.How to be a dog kicker don't need a ticket,just get yourself a dog and haul off and kick it.

"you understand why my lighthearted comments are regarded as insults,and vice versa." that's how you need to take the Sorabji welcome, my dear VV. Or you could just spend some time going through old threads using the search option for "fuck you you ass" and learn more about this most ancient of traditions amongst the Sorabji tribal group.

WHOA. This thread is a ferris wheel gone off its axis, tumbling through the countryside, smushing the innocent and guilty alike.

totally

that looks so weird

"...And in national news, another innocent victim was moshed last night at a rock and roll concert. This epidemic of the devil's making continues to sweep across the county, leaving chaos and bloodshed in its path. Order is giving way to anarchy as the youth of this nation take to the streets."

Anybody ever see the movie wild in the streets? http://www.geocities.com/wildinthestreets2002/

VV, You are very wrong about one important thing concerning Sorabjiland. Sorabjiland is open to all. Everyone - no matter what race, national origin, sex, sexual preference, pollitical persuasion, or species is welcome. We are all abused equally here.:-)

And some people get candy.

And some get mail art.

not anytime soon mind you.

The Watcher,its really neat,watcher,being treated as an eqall. I understand who you are and what you are,thank for your most kind words.we understand each other,others do not,most high regards from eastern europe,and western europe.I am regarded as a Shamen by people who know me,i hope your luck will now change for the better.Watch for small changes in your life.

Heather,if you were a cat lover,and not a dog lover [as i think you are]would you not try to kill a dog that wishes to bite the head off your cat?

i love neither more than the other and , no i would not try to kill it

semillama,i have not forgotten you,mostly you speak words of wisdom,sometimes not,you say sorabji,s[new ones]get a rough ride,yes i do,all the time,but i am willing to go through this shit in order to understand the minds of americans.To europeans and eastern europeans,you are stuck up,bigots,with a hatred of jews and blacks,you all need to convince me otherwise,[i am not jewish or black]I am lithuaninan,russian,and polish.Thanks to my most exellent tvaritch THE WATCHER,i am now,v.v.

"you all need to convince me otherwise" why? you can believe whatever you want.

"To europeans and eastern europeans,you are stuck up,bigots,with a hatred of jews and blacks,you all need to convince me otherwise" you may need or wish to be convinced, v.v., but that does not make it anyone here's job to do the convincing. hell, i wouldn't even care to try.

dammit, jack. i was next!

VV you crack me up. I might be an American, and I might not always understand you, but your view on things just cracks me up. A hatred of Jews and Blacks? This is just laughable. I grew up in areas where as a white woman (I'm of Italian, Scottish, German and Irish decent) I was a true minority and have never thought that racial background has shit to do with anything. Being the white one made me the odd man out so to speak, so thinking that I dislike any other race (when they have openly embraced my white skin) based on the color of their skin would be hypocritical. Hypocracy pisses me off. OK, got to go to the store, forgot unbirthday present for my nephew.

haha. dave. also: "To europeans and eastern europeans,you are stuck up,bigots,with a hatred of jews and blacks" ...even the americans who are "jews and blacks"? well, all right.

heather,i understand you,but understand,i was brought up in a most harsh eastern european way,with much killing of chickens,and even more killing of kittens,[that bit made me sick,i had to hold them underwater for 3 mins,my fathers orders]i had to watch for no more bubbels,then i have to bury them in the ground,very deep,so the maggots do not come out.You Americans are so lucky,you do not have to kill kittens.

DAVE,this is YOUR job now,convince me now,am i wrong in thinking all you yanks are stuck up bigots?

Jack,you do not escape from my hook so lightly,explain yourself in more detail,i wish to understand your astounding hate for your fellow citizens.

I dig the handle "V.v." Much better than "Vilnius viper" There are so many possibilities: Voluminous vulva Voracious vagina Vicarious victory Plus, it just looks cooler.

as i said, you can believe whatever you want. have a good time.

RONDA,yes,i do rock this web site,and without my most provocative comments,your electronic communications would be far less interesting.

only ones who hate get on the news...or jerry springer and the rest of use [a huge majority i hope] find it sad and sometimes amusing we do kill kittens, it's just that we have so many people and such easy lives that some people take it up as a career so the others don't have to.

ANTIGONE,if your name were abbreviated,would it be Ant-gonerrea?[a small insect with a sexual problem,that is trying to overcome it with penicillin]?

heather,i think you speak from the heart,perhaps we are not so different.

JACK,dont go wimpish on me,all yanks have an opinion,love me or hate me,i dont care,but give me an opinion.

Venereal Virus

SPUNKY,without a doubt,you have the perfect name,[thick and creamy]

SPIDER,you have a most complete grasp of this situation.

heather,for the time being,your words are PRAVDA [in russian,this means TRUTH]but perhaps your words will not allways be on my side,i understand this,it is the way of sorabjis.

That's funny, my wife just yesterday took in a stray kitten, about 4 weeks old. The poor guy has a nasty respiratory infection, and his eyes and nose were encrusted over. We're keeping him out in the garage so he doesn't infect our other 2 cats. She went to a shelter and got some omoxicillin (sp?) and some eye ointment, and she's cleaned him up nicely. He is a cute little bugger, and eats like a horse. When he's all well, we'll give him to the shelter (no kill).

DOUGIE,your wife must be a nice person,and you also,can you give that small cat a kiss on the face from me [vilnius viper]before it goes into the shelter[i love cats a lot]if you do this,can you post a note,i need to know it is o.k.

dog killer

"ANTIGONE,if your name were abbreviated,would it be Ant-gonerrea?" No. It would be "JESUS CHRIST PUTS HIS DICK IN YOUR MOUTH"

get in line bitch

SPUNKY,Yes,i expect all sorabjis know me as the dog killer,but its just that my father ordered me to kill lots of new born kittens in the water butt,now i have to make it up.[and this is PRAVDA] you understand Russian,DA?

Of course he does. He's a Communist!

Antigone,if you put that microscopic appendige in my mouth,i would probably spit it out,regarding it as a surplus strand of tobacco,it must be abount the same size.

v.v., i've already moved on. case closed. hey, that feels great.

d00d, how could I possibly put the Messiah's dick in your mouth? That's up to the Messiah. And, who are we to question Him?

DAVE AND ANTIGONE,you are mere peasants,reincarnated from my previous life in the old country,when you where my officicial toe suckers and ass lickers,i have retained your jobs for you,ENJOY.

smooches, babe.

Antigone, you have your old job back,but i have this 4 and a half,perhaps 5 hour time zone problem,so i crash out for a while,yes?do not worry.i am back soon to give a good verbal thrashing,love and kisses.

when you get back, do a search on "?eheheee!" you'll find plenty of insight into american hatred and crude message board baiting techniques. sweet dreams.

Old job? WHat oyu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Hey Vv - How do you tell an American? You don't - they tell you.

MOONIT,you have a most complete grasp of this situation.

Not this American. I only give opinions never orders. Except to my cats when they're clawing the furniture. But, they don't listen either.

The Watcher,your cats say a lot about you,they are amazingly smart,get as much food and sex as they want,yet dont even have to work or pay tax.If you think like a cat,you are indeed lucky.

"if wisper wasn't too young for me..... i might very well be all over that." whaaaaaahoooooo!!

Moonit,there is only one thing Yanks are exellent at,BULLSHIT.When your oil runs out,Pakistan will rule the world,they have vast reserves.I understand America will try to hang on to its oil reserves as long as it can,but when its gone,its gone.Your President has bought you a little extra time,you now have access to the Iraq oil wells.How long will America last as top gun?not as long as the Romans or Greeks i bet.

when there is no oil we will stop repressing other energy sources my car will run on water we are resourceful people

It was a joke. I love the 'mericans. Theres only ever been one 'merican who was a total bastard and thats the guy who used to employ me before I wised up and escaped the hellhole. vv - you should learn to paragraph. Cause I'm confused about where you think I'm from now.

Congrats on the new job Moonit:)Right on Heather.

heather,if your car runs on water,it has a leaky head gasket,when hydrogen engines hit the street,they are also all over the world,you gain no advantage,and you will allways need crude oil for its other other products,such as plastic and aircraft fuel.My forcast for the U.S.A. is 50 to 100 years life span,from now.

moonit,it matters not where you live,only where your heart is.

dave,allthough you are mentally nuts,i am allways willing to push you around sorabiji in a wheelchair.

by then i will not need such industrial age transportation. i will teleport. we will adapt, that's what we do. sadly this just means that we don't evolve until we're kicked in the ass.

(dogkiller)

heather,i was going to do you a yellow link with HUNTING FOR BAMBI,but the pics no longer exist.It shows naked girls being shot at with paint ball guns,this i hear is going on in Nevada.If any of you guys have paid 7000 bucks for this amazing day out,let me see the PICS.

http://www.huntingforbambi.com/

Pays to also check out WIN M.X.lots of free music and computer game dowloads,so i hear from a Russian friend of mine.Myself,i am too exausted to check this out,let me know how you get on.

J,you are f.....g amazing.I owe you one for that.

J,sorry to hear about all you problems on the other thread,but when the tide goes out,it will allways come back in again.good luck.

Thanks v.v.,looks like the guy that made the hunting for Bambi video is in some hot water now and has admitted the videos are staged.

j,call me a pervert,[every one doz ]but i kinda like the idea of shooting naked girls with a paint ball gun,[mostly my ex girlfriends]i hope some one gets this together for real.[i cant belive this is a hoax,i think the guy is backtracking to save his skin.

j,if the videos were staged,I BET THE REST OF IT WAS REAL.I thought about this all day,if you or i did this,we make MILLIONS of BUCKS a year.[the world wide demand must be MASSIVE]if that guy has a problem with the Nevada police,he needs to move to Cambodia.

" I think the guy is backtracking to save his skin",v.v. I think your right.

J,i can not belive this BAMBI guy is not for real,if i gave you 7000 bucks,for a days shooting,would you not go out and shoot?

yes:)

Just as i thought.

huh. i forgot how gay i used to be.

oh, shit. ronda. i totally forgot ronda. heather, you will never outgay me . . . on the internet. ronda was total gaybait, too. fucking bitch.

i'm gay for sorabji.