the tale of sem and the dating service II


sorabji.com: Have you ever been lonely?: the tale of sem and the dating service II
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Dougie on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:22 pm:

    No offense, but the old thread is taking as long to load as it's taking sem to get laid, so let's start a new one, shall we?


By semillama on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:38 pm:

    Hah! I laugh at your slow server!

    So, to recap: She left a message last night
    and I call her tonight, apparently she's been
    real busy with something that I couldn't make
    out on the answering machine. She is
    studying to be a RN after all. I just want to
    know what's up.

    Like am I gonna take her to the Breeders or
    not Thursday?


By patrick on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:39 pm:

    you should call her friday. take a buddy to the breeders.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:40 pm:

    you should call her friday. take a buddy to the breeders.


By heather on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:43 pm:

    call her friday for what? to see what her plans are for the weekend?

    don't call people on friday


By patrick on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:45 pm:

    BAH!


    is there something taboo in calling people on fridays, outside of your head?


By Dougie on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:46 pm:

    Other than he'll get the answering machine again?


By patrick on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:49 pm:

    and i really only suggested friday, because its the day AFTER the show, not for any other significance, but i'll entertain heather's notion.


By Fb on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 03:27 pm:

    sem, why don't you go buy yourself a $35 gold wedding band at walmart? wear it and go out on the town this weekend with some friends. women seem to want what the can't have. my experience has been when i'm not available/looking, they come looking for me. learn to use your tongue well and they'll follow you thru the streets. i read somewhere you said you work in an office full of women and had to be descreet viewing certain web sites at work. have you tapped that gold mine? surely some are single, have single friends or daughters.


By Cat on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 03:30 pm:

    Sem doesn't have to look for a wife. If I'm still single at 38, I'm proposing to him.

    Actually, that's not that long away really. Be afraid, Sem.


By LoneStranger on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 07:14 pm:

    I had a wedding band on for a year or so. Maybe it (girls flocking) didn't work for me cause it was on the wrong hand. Actually, I had it on the wrong hand so they didn't get the wrong idea. Damn. I was going about it the wrong way the whole time.

    The tounge thing I think I have mastered. Or at least at a journeyman level. She never seemed to be unsatisfied. Once she tried to fake it. I knew immediatly. She was embarrassed. She never tried it again. Either that or she got better at acting.

    LS


By semillama on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 10:20 pm:

    So, I called her tonight and she was home.

    "Hi!"

    "Hi!...uh, who is this?"

    "It's Andy."

    "Oh! Hi, how are you?'

    "alright, how are you doing?"

    "Oh, Ok. Uh, sorry i didn't call you back, I didn't
    get your messages until sunday and I was out
    all weekend."

    "That's alright, I understand."

    "Uh (Pause)....so, how was South Carolina?"

    "It was good. I stayed a couple extra days, and
    it rained those days, but it was still good. I'd
    rather be out digging in South Carolina than
    sitting in the office in Ohio, you know?"

    "Uh........Yeah. Um, Listen, I'm cooking dinner
    right now, could I call you back in a few?"

    "Oh! sure, no problem. Talk to you soon!"

    "'Bye."


    Four hours pass.

    I think I get the picture.


By pamela on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 10:22 pm:

    oh that sucks! I hate it when people aren't just honest with you. That drives me nuts.


By heather on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 11:09 pm:

    i've never heard of anyone saying 'hey, i know we haven't even kissed yet but i'm done with this, i'm not even sure why'


By R.C. on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 12:10 am:

    Okay. She's kicked to the curb. Too big a flake.

    Next?


By Fb on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 12:24 am:

    you can hump my leg....when the dog is done....


By J on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 01:07 am:

    Sem,I mean this in the best of ways,you said it,fuck her if she can't take a joke


By semillama on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 09:01 am:

    Now you've heard, heather. This happens all
    the time. At least to me, anyway.


By dave. on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 10:44 am:

    that sucks. that's why you need to stay aloof at first. there is absolutely no reason to keep getting your heart crushed by every random pair of x chromosomes that happens to pay attention to you. they should never have that much control over you.

    sorry, man.


By droopy on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 11:31 am:

    nietzche said sumpin' like "hope is the worst of all sins because it prolongs the sufferings of man."

    "aloof" is bullshit, it means you're still conferring all this power to the woman and just pretending not to care. takes up even more mental energy. dave has agatha not because he was aloof but because he, by pure luck, happened onto one of those crazy women who finds something special in the mangy dogs, butt-ugly devil cats, and daves of this world.


By agatha on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 11:48 am:

    heh. that was beautiful.

    dave is a diamond in the rough.


By patrick on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 12:38 pm:

    there equal parts truth in droop and dave's comments sem.

    you invest too much too quickly, only to get bummed and "kicked to the curb" by someone you went on 1-2 dates with.

    sorry dude, i know the feeling.


By dave. on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 08:01 pm:

    aloof would be bullshit at first. i read or heard recently that it takes 21 days for a new behavior to become a habit. i think there's another variation of that theory that says you have to do something 30 times. i don't know the exact number and it don't matter.

    i don't mean aloof like pretending you don't notice someone even though you did notice. that's what i do, but i don't recommend it for sem. i mean aloof like maintaining a level of detachment until things look more promising. maybe aloof is the wrong word. go ahead and use whatever stupid, goddam, motherfucking, shiteating word feels right. the concept is sound, clearly whats-her-face does it and she's probably gettin' banged every other night. there's nothing wrong with that. the ones who are fucked up are those who would completely hand over their ego to the first cutie who shows interest.


By heather on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 08:33 pm:

    my habit of aloofness began when i was maybe 2 or 3 years old


    sadly, i'm not kidding


    and i didn't mean to rub anything in, sem. i was just replying to pamela regarding this girl being honest with you.


By semillama on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 09:08 am:

    It's not the girl specifically, patrick (although it
    is frustrating in that I never meet anyone who
    listens to a lot of the same weird music and
    reads the same comic books), but jus tthe
    situation in general.

    Is it wrong to feel I should be able to date
    someone for longer than a month or two?

    It's just really wearying.


By droopy on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 11:14 am:

    i know the feeling, too.

    dave is still wrong.


By sarah on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 11:29 am:

    sem, just stop. stop already. stop trying to find a girl. we're not worth the aggravation. this is whole endeavor is causing you WAY more grief than it's worth.


    honestly, sem. your hunt for red october doesn't appear to be any fun anymore. there are a million things you could get into that would actually be FUN. you remember FUN, right?



By patrick on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 12:20 pm:

    "although it is frustrating in that I never meet anyone who listens to a lot of the same weird music and reads the same comic books"

    i know tons of girls who listen to freaky music and probably have bigger comic collections than you.










    that may be an exagerration, but most of the girls i know dig shit like that.


By semillama on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 12:57 pm:

    You don't live in the midwest though.


By patrick on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 01:10 pm:

    is Ohio midwest? geographically speaking thats never made sense to me.

    granted you live Ohio and maybe thats my point.

    I see you're roughly a 6 hour drive from Philly, DC, Detroit and Chicago and more.


By Spider on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 02:01 pm:

    It takes about 8 hours to get from Philly to Pittsburgh.


By patrick on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 02:09 pm:

    that seems totally fucking odd. just glancing at this i based my 'guesstimate' on the fact its a 6 hour drive from Atlanta to Raleigh. taking my pinky i made a circle from Columbus. Is it mountaineous? Do you have to use state roads vs. interstates?


By Spider on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 02:21 pm:

    You use, uh, the PA turnpike. I think. It's the big road that cuts across the middle of the state.

    Maybe we just drove slowly.


By Antigone on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 02:26 pm:

    Yeah! All you Pennsylvania freakazoids were poking along at 65 last time I was on it.


By semillama on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 05:25 pm:

    It's flat as hell. Distances can be decieving in
    the midwest. That's why you call it the
    FLYOVER. It's the only way to cross it without
    going insane. For example, Michigan doesn't
    look that big, but to get from the area north of
    Toledo to the bit that sticks out into Lake
    Superior takes an average of 11 hours to
    drive.

    I guess Ohio is technically the lower midwest.

    It may be that for some reason I just can't
    meet the type of girls Patrick knows. I also
    know that in the past, all the cool girls like that
    I've met have been in relationships. Seriously,
    all of them.


By Dougie on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 05:48 pm:

    PA's a beautiful state to drive through -- lots of mountains and pine trees, but it's a bitch driving 80 because of the trucks. Uphill, they go 45 and you pass them, then downhill, they barrel down on you going 95. Cat and mouse the whole way. Plus, they just raised the speed limit to 65 a couple of years ago. When it was 55, they had a lot of cops out, and it was expensive as hell for a ticket. Although Ohio's state troopers are the worst. Got busted last year driving home for Christmas -- never seen anything like it: I was going through like an 8 mile construction zone at 85 mph, leading a pack of 4 cars. As soon the construction zone ended, there was a trooper right there, and he rounded us all up like cattle and made everyone pull over. Unfortunately, being the first in the pack, I was the first to pull over, and the last in line to get my ticket. Took about an hour to process everybody and cost $180 (fine doubled through construction zone.)


By sarah on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 05:49 pm:


    sem, don't go to LA. if you wanna get out of the midwest, to find a girl or for whatever reason, you really ought to come down here. this place ooozes your type.




By patrick on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 07:05 pm:

    yeah you're too nice for LA. This town would chew you up and spit you out and have you looking like this.


By LoneStranger on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 07:37 pm:

    I went across the PA turnpikes from Pitts to Philly. We were in a van. Four adults, me, my sister and three cousins. This was a Dodge Caravan that seats eight. And if you've seen my aunt, she's..uh... big. It was in the middle of summer. With no airconditioning.

    It sucked. I guess it took somewhere around 8 hours with a stop for lunch along the way.

    LS


By dave. on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 10:20 pm:

    semillama, i'll make you a deal. i'll quit smoking and drinking when you get laid. i promise my best promise.


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 12:41 am:

    and i'll quit smoking dope if you get a hummer from a large canine.


By dave. on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 01:09 am:

    i'm serious. up front, it sounds like an empty, condescending offer. don't think i don't realize what i'm committing to. semillama has the easy part of the deal, if he accepts it.


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 01:57 am:

    well, i'll be rather pissed off if sem get's some pussy before i make it up north.


By heather on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 02:25 am:

    maybe just quit the smoking


By pamela on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 02:27 am:


By agatha on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 02:35 am:

    SEM- YOU MUST GET LAID! DO IT FOR ME!!


By Cat on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 08:57 am:

    Or you could do it TO him. Just an idea.


By Fb on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 11:02 am:

    dave, if sem get's a hooker does it count?


By patrick on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 11:33 am:


    maybe we could do an "intervention" with sem and a hooker.



    "well, i'll be rather pissed off if sem get's some pussy before i make it up north"

    are you asking him to save himself for you? or are you looking forward to the opportunity to somehow facilitate sex for him?

    thats a weird fucking statement man.


By agatha on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 12:00 pm:


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 12:52 pm:

    it means i want to drink with dave, cocknocker.


By patrick on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 12:54 pm:

    i was thinking Ohio-north, not Olympia-north.


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 01:14 pm:

    ohio is east of here.


By patrick on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 01:20 pm:

    i realize that nate, but i spent more than half my life south of Ohio, its a habit thing.


By dave. on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 01:43 pm:

    hookers and sorabjiites, past and present, don't count.


By Nate on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 03:34 pm:

    there goes agatha's plan to get you off the hootch.


By sarah on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 04:13 pm:


    sem, if you get yourself laid, i'll *start* drinking again.

    i mean it. i'm totally serious.




By heather on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 04:33 pm:

    'getting laid'

    come on you people

    sem is so much better than that

    getting laid is for frat boys


By semillama on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 05:17 pm:

    For the record, dave. and sarah are on.

    and probably pretty safe in their bets.

    I am also not about to put my pecker in contact
    with either hookers or canines. or canine
    hookers.

    Although I might consider a well groomed
    werewolf.


By Cat on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 05:47 pm:

    The difference between hookers and Sorabjites is?


By Fb on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 06:27 pm:

    Sorabjites are paid less for their sexual services.


By dave. on Friday, February 15, 2002 - 08:05 pm:

    heather needs to get laid.


By sarah on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 06:10 pm:

    yes. i volunteer my services.




By Nate on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 06:49 pm:

    heather doesn't want me to write here.


By Antigone on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 07:16 pm:

    why not?


By moonit on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 07:47 pm:

    I went out on Friday night for the first time in ages, and didn't feel awful about coming home alone. In fact I was quite relieved. I wasn't dribbling at every guy that breathed in my direction, and I had fun. Too many cocktails however, so yesterday was a painful experience, but good all the same. Went to a bar I hadn't been too (which is rare in itself), they play rock music, which was fun. Sometimes its nice to get away from the regular dance music.


By moonit on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 07:49 pm:

    Does this mean I am slowly getting over 'drew?

    Why yes, I think it does.

    YIPPIE!


By semillama on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 10:53 pm:

    The worst thing about being dumped or let go
    or whatever, for me, is the bitternes I feel
    everytime I see a couple walking down the
    street or huddling together on a bunch or
    anything like that. I hate the feeling of
    alienation. Getting the brush always brings it
    out to the fore. It seems like when I finally get
    numb to all that, along comes fate and i get
    involved with someone, who strings me along
    long enough so i'll feel rotten afterwards every
    time i see that damned couple.

    I am goign to make an absolutely wonderful
    evil old man that all the kids are scared of.


By dave. on Sunday, February 17, 2002 - 12:01 am:

    ya know how couples are always complaining and bickering about stupid shit? dude, just shut up and take advantage of being single. go places, do things. chicks dig guys who go places and do things and when they come sniffing around, tell 'em you're busy. turn it around on 'em.


By semillama on Sunday, February 17, 2002 - 12:21 am:

    I go places and do things all the time.

    It's all work related though. I would go more
    places and do more things if a: i had time and
    b: i could afford it.

    I've been taking advantage of being single for
    my entire life. I'd really like to see what the
    disadvantages of not being single are first
    hand.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 12:21 pm:

    "It's all work related though"

    welllllll............it doesnt HAVE to be that way



    "I've been taking advantage of being single for
    my entire life"

    what??????











By semillama on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 01:16 pm:

    So, It all makes sense now. She explained to
    me in an email (responding to one I had sent
    expressing my disappointment that things
    didn't work out and that talking to people
    instead of not calling them back works
    bettera) that in fact, she had just broken off a 7
    1/2 year relationship, and that while I was
    away in SC, she had tried to start it up again
    with bad results.

    I should have guessed it myself! She was on
    the rebound, just like EVERY OTHER WOMAN
    I HAVE EVER DATED.

    Apparently, I am only attractive to women who
    are looking to forget someone else for a little
    bit. Then I get cast aside when they're done.

    Not that I am bitter.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 01:28 pm:

    dude why did you send that email to her?


    DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


By Spider on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 01:31 pm:

    I just heard from a friend of mine that his girlfriend of 9 years broke up with him via email. A "horribly terse sounds-like-a-cancellation-of-a-purchase-order email," he says.

    You can take some paltry comfort that at least you aren't in that situation. At least. Right?


By moonit on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 01:57 pm:

    Why are some people such bloody bastards to each other? Why?

    I'm sick, but off to work I go, like a good little dwarf? hi-ho hi-ho. I knew that was going to fit in somewhere.

    I think these drugs the chemist gave me are helping? Or prehaps not.


By droopy on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 03:19 pm:

    i used to have a friend named brad who had bad luck with women. he'd been with the same girl all through high school. after they graduated he put her through hairdresser school and bought his grandmother's house for them to live in after they married.

    then she left him for brad's best friend's older brother, whom she married. they had a kid. then the older brother discovered cocaine and became addicted and lost his job. so she left him and married the younger brother, brad's best friend.

    all of this made brad weird. he started decorating the house that was no longer where he was going live happily in wedded bliss with neon signs, beer labels, mannequins, anything. i and another guy lived there with him for a while and we lived like slobs. brad never didn't date much. when he did, they never went well.

    brad and i were in a crappy little band - he was the drummer, i played bass. one night the guitarist's girlfriend - jen - brought a friend over to watch us practice. the friend's name was rhonda; she was a college student; she was cute. rhonda told the jen that she thought "that brad is cute. i wouldn't mind going out with him." so jen called brad and she set up a date for them on sunday. he was amazed.

    saturday we had a gig at a bar. rhonda was there. we started talking and she was very friendly and animated, almost too friendly and animated. then somebody called me mike, which is my real name, and she looked startled. she said, "i thought you were brad!" i said no, that's the drummer. then i said, "you're not gonna break my drummer's heart, are you?"

    the next day rhonda broke the date with brad without giving a reason. brad asked jen what went wrong. jen said "she's on the rebound from this really long relationship and..."

    i never saw rhonda again. a year later i learned she had cancer. i think she died.


By semillama on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 04:23 pm:

    Why'd I send the email?

    She wasn't returning calls, you doofus.

    I'm not letting myself get walked over like that
    again.

    So, if you date me and then decide to break it
    off by not calling me, thinking I'll fade into the
    woodwork, well, no. I will be heard.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 04:38 pm:

    dude...if she's not returning phone calls whats that tell you? sending an email just forces her to let you down, when its already implied.

    I just see that as unecessary. Realistically speaking, you only went out twice, right? I'm not sure she owes you any kind of explanation if she doesnt want to give one. Not returning a phone call, while not the most polite thing to do, should tell you all you need to know to move on.









By Spider on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 05:14 pm:

    Sem, I have identified your tragic flaw. By that, I mean that quality which is your greatest strength as well as your downfall.

    You're honest.

    This is a great quality. So many people are arrogant, hyper-vigilant, hard-hearted bastards. You, on the other hand, are very open-hearted, straight-forward, and guileless. You become interested in a girl and you get excited about her. You don't hide this -- you let her know!

    But, at the same time, you don't leave yourselves many defenses. You open yourself up to a lot of pain. This in itself, in one sense, is very admirable -- you let yourself feel and you keep from becoming some withered old man who's all gross and cynical.

    But....it's kind of naive, too, and you end up hurting unnecessarily.

    Now, I'm probably the last person who should be talking about this kind of thing, seeing as I'm as inexperienced and sensitive and messed up as I am myself. But you have to trust me on this...take it from me as a girl.

    You wouldn't be playing games, you would have defenses. It's just being smart. Look, I haven't experienced this in the romantic realm, but I have in other areas: when you're really excited about something, and someone lets on that they're excited about it too, but then it turns out that they're not excited and worse -- they think you're an idiot for being excited, yourself. That really hurts. It's even worse when the excitement is about something really personal.

    You have to learn to control how excited you appear. You can still *be* that excited -- just calm down in outward appearance.

    And I think the worst thing that could happen would be for you to lose your excitment/honesty altogether. That would be a tragedy. That's a really endearing quality. The thing is, though, you can't share that with *everyone.*

    Brace yourself, but there's a pertinent Bible verse about this: "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."

    A lot of people can't appreciate the value of open-heartedness. I think you should learn to share that quality only with people who are worthy and who won't trample your feelings under their feet.


    Of course, this is only my humble opinion, and you are free to ignore it completely, as I don't know you in real life and could very well be talking out of my hat.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 05:51 pm:

    she's right sem and she said essentially what i was saying, only more eloquently.

    I can identify as well, because what has happened to you, has happened to me. Im too passionate and honest and i got kicked to the curb for being too forward, too assumptive and too open about how i felt.


By Antigone on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 07:20 pm:

    I have to disagree with both of you.

    Be open and honest. Be enthusiastic and show it. If you don't cast your pearls before swine, then the right missy won't get a perl necklace.

    Yeah, that was a nasty pun, but you know what I mean!

    I've always been completely open with how I feel about someone, even when it's been difficult for them to hear, even when it's been difficult for me to say.

    There are women out there who want a man who is honest with his feelings. Shit, you hear them talk about it all the time! You can present them with one. And I can get biblical too: this seperates the sheep from the goats. The ones who actually want honesty and can handle it will hang around you.

    But, you still have to protect yourself. To be honest, you do have to expose your vulnerable side. To avoid getting hurt, though, don't close yourself off. Be nimble, emotionally. Dodge the disappointments. Learn to anticipate them and expect them, not cynically, but as a part of human nature. And, if rejection does get you down, feel it through and move on.

    My own recent experience has really borne this attitude out. You can find happiness this way. It's difficult, but it can be done. Don't give up.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 19, 2002 - 07:29 pm:

    were talking about the first couple of dates here, when you're still feeling out the other party, to gauge if the feelings are mutual.

    no need to blow your load in vain. (in keeping with antigone's theme)


By dave. on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 12:35 am:

    yup.

    i just wrote a big stupid thing and deleted it. i say that so you don't think i'm some monosyllabic loser.

    word.


By Fb on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 01:29 am:

    poor sem.
    digs up bones...but never buries one


By Spider on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 08:39 am:

    "were talking about the first couple of dates here, when you're still feeling out the other party, to gauge if the feelings are mutual."

    Right.

    Antigone, I'm not saying he should play hard to get or pretend he's not interested in the girl. That would be deceptive. I'm saying just be more reserved and graceful. *And* I don't even mean reserved in a temperament kind of way. I've met Sem - he's quiet. It would be hard for him to be more reserved, probably. I'm talking about what you reveal and what you keep back. Keep more back, at least at first, at least until you have a pretty good idea of where things are going.

    And, I mean this for Sem's sake. I mean this as a way to protect himself from getting trampled on all the time. I don't mean this as a strategy to get the girl. That's stupid, anyway, because all girls are different. So, I'm not talking about doing this in order to look better to her. I'm talking about doing this for his own sake. You know?



By Czarina on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 10:39 am:

    Sems just over-anxious. He see's couples and assumes they're happy, and he wants some of that for himself. But coupling has its problems,too.

    The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

    Sem,you need to go places,where you'll find the kinds of girls that are interested in the stuff that interests you.

    It doesn't have to be places that cost money.It could be the local planatarium,or art museum,or take some off the wall class,in Niarobe Dancing,or roller-blading,join some kind of club that interests you, THERE are women out there,who would be right for you,you just have to get to the right places,to meet them.


By patrick on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 11:30 am:

    actually sem, if you could just relinquish all self control and let us take over, we could probably get this fixed soon enough.


By J on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 12:41 pm:

    I'd still like to hook Sem up with your beautiful older daughter Czarina,if I was 20 years younger,I'd be all over him like a cheap suit.


By Fb on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 01:17 pm:

    join a cult


By Spider on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 03:48 pm:

    Hmmm...I hope we haven't embarrassed Sem away....


By semillama on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 06:08 pm:

    Impossible.

    Patrick, I went out with her more than twice,
    but several times. And she was indiciating to
    me that she was quite interested in me, as
    she was making the first moves.

    But to hell with her. There's a subgenius
    quote for that: "Fuck' 'em if they can't take a
    joke." And you should like this:

    I don't practice what I preach because I'm not
    the sort of person I'm preaching to.

    Anyone, on to the next one: a nerve lady
    offered to buy me a drink if we ever meet
    today.

    I was having weird problems responding, so
    we'll see if she got my response.


By Nate on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 07:31 pm:

    you should have fucked her.

    when a chick gets laid, all these hormones flood her body that bonds her to you.


By semillama on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 08:39 pm:

    I was trying to get there. That was sort of my
    goal when I got back from South Carolina,
    actually.


By heather on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 09:03 pm:

    hey


By Nate on Wednesday, February 20, 2002 - 10:15 pm:

    you need to move faster, sem. it is easier to apologize than ask permission.


By sarah on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 11:14 am:


    yeah, just stick it in when she's not looking.




By semillama on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 05:14 pm:

    So, this girl Bridget from nerve/salon seems
    interested in me. She has or had dreads and
    a big smile. and likes singing in the guitar and
    art.

    She's also cuter than the other girl. Perhaps
    fate ain't so fickle after all?


By Dawgie on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 07:06 pm:

    You dawg, you.


By LoneStranger on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 07:55 pm:

    nate, we should hang out in SJ sometime.

    Your house isn't very good for finding chicks.

    LS


By Nate on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 11:39 pm:

    i dunno. i find chicks there all the time.


By heather on Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 11:55 pm:

    sometimes they are pink


    and sometimes yellow


By wisper on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 01:49 am:

    dreads.
    eeeeewwwwww. Dirty.

    in other non-Sem related news, the guy at the
    party supply store hit on me today. I love
    cheap-ass party supply stores, but cheap-ass
    party supply store guys? He looked like Jack
    Black but my height and scruffier. So it wasn't
    so bad.
    On Halloween Axl Rose hit on me, so I had
    someone take a pic of me and him, and i am
    laughing like hell in it. "My life is now
    complete", i said. While he was not the only
    Axl in that bar that night, he was the most
    convincing.

    i don't know wy i'm telling you this, except to
    realize that i get hit on exactly twice a year. And
    it's always hillarious.

    Sem, just give up. That's when they come
    running, trust me.


By patrick on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 11:47 am:


By Nate on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 12:14 pm:

    alarmingly accurate accustat.


By agatha on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 03:08 pm:

    we had chicks like that when i was a kiddle.

    they outlawed that chick dying after peta checked out that action. no chick dying allowed!


By patrick on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 03:24 pm:

    PETA always ruins the fun.


By Czarina on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 03:38 pm:

    I had chicks like that when I was a kid.

    FeeFee, Flyer and Lady.

    I made health certificates for each one of them:

    Beak: good
    Wing: good
    Tail: good

    etc.I still have their health certificates in my scrap book. I loved my chickens.A neighbors dog killed them.


By Fetidbeaver on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 03:44 pm:

    did you make death certificates?

    death: homicide
    perp: canine
    taste: like chicken


By Czarina on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 03:53 pm:

    [sniff] I was too distraught.


By agatha on Saturday, February 23, 2002 - 01:44 pm:

    we had three. two of them died (dyed- heh), and one grew into this massively badass rooster that used to strut around our city block and torment the neighborhood dogs and cats. my parents took it "to a farm" after about a year.

    hmmm. i wonder.


By Pug on Saturday, February 23, 2002 - 05:00 pm:

    "dreads. Ewwww. Dirty." I resemble that remark....
    As Sorabji's token dreadhead I feel obliged to dispel a myth---
    it's true that when you grow dreads you're deliberately damaging your hair (especially if you're a straight-haired white guy like me) and the only recourse when you want to lose 'em is to shave your head...
    And of course, when you weigh as much as me you end up looking like Curly Howard or Uncle Fester or Brando in "Apocalypse Now"---not real dignified---so I'm not in a hurry to make that step...
    But the notion that you aren't supposed to wash your hair is a myth.
    Conversely, dreads are a very low-maintenance 'do---you can get away with skipping the occasional shampoo-job.


By patrick on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 12:11 pm:

    yeah but it fits the bill along with the "where do ya hide money from hippies? Under the soap" bit.

    you expect a hippies feet to be dirty just like you expect a man' dreads to be bug infested and dank.


By semillama on Monday, February 25, 2002 - 03:52 pm:

    I think I have a date this week, maybe
    tomorrow.

    More as it comes in .


By Pug on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 10:24 am:

    My feet are dirty....but that's not because I have dreads----it's because I'm a blue collar worker.
    Last time I looked I think I picked all the lost hikers outta my hair.
    I've given up on the notion of dating/sex/relationships/etc....I've substituted all that for Psychological Warfare.
    Not here, tho----you people scare me....


By Spider on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 10:57 am:

    Even me?


By Antigone on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:09 am:

    Even you, princess.


By semillama on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:13 am:

    Especially you, Spider.

    I have a date tonight.


By droopy on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:14 am:

    the spider is subtle and sinister
    but so sweet while to her web you are led
    then, once there, with a bite she'll administer
    her venom - and then, poor soul, you are dead.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:27 am:

    i can usually trust people with dirty hippy feet.


By Spider on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:38 am:

    I feel so loved.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:44 am:


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 01:30 pm:

    well hell i thought it was funny anyway....



    bah.



By Fb on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 02:31 pm:

    i saw a special on that spider and if their information is true, i'd rather be bit by a rattle snake


By droopy on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 03:19 pm:

    the brown recluse is fairly common in texas. a few years ago a friend of mine bought an old house - one day he woke up and there was a big, ugly spider crawling around on the mattress with him. it kind of scared him, but he didn't know what it was. so he just got up and got an old jar and caught the spider. the next day he took it to the local zoo to find out what it was. the guy at the zoo let out a "goddam!" and told my friend it was a brown recluse and that he'd come real close to having a really bad day.


By eri on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 05:25 pm:

    They were also prominent in the high desert. We found them all over our old apartment complex. At least they ate the black widows. Never actually went into our apartments, though. I hear they are pretty common out here, in San Antonio, too. For some reason, though, I was always more scared of the scorpions, then them.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 05:35 pm:

    i don't think spider is prominent in the desert are you spider?


By Gee on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 06:03 pm:

    when is someone going to come and visit me? I'm sad and lonely.

    I'm not really sad and lonely, I'm actually happy and busy, but I crave new people. come and listen to the stories I've told everyone else a million times and I'll introduce you to my sixth grade teacher. come! come to Canada!


By Nate on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 06:18 pm:

    in 'n out burger is way better than harvey's.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 06:25 pm:

    In n Out is overrated along with Krystal, White Castle.....yucky.


By Gee on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 06:29 pm:

    there isn't anything in the world - including sex and gold - that could ever be better than Harvey's. I think you just have defective taste buds.


    they say the taste buds are the first to go.


By eri on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 07:01 pm:

    Gotta love the In'N'Out urge!!!!!! Double double's are the absolute best!!!!! Almost as good as sex :p

    White Castle sux!


By Nate on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 07:04 pm:

    name a better fastfood burger, patty.


By patrick on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 07:12 pm:

    well....

    if i want a fastfood burger...i want it sloppy, greasy and for that Id have to vote for Jay's Jayburgers or Tommy's.

    Both local. Both loaded with onions, chili, cheese, relish, fried egg. I usually get mine without the egg but make it a double.

    They will rip a hole in your bowels the next day and if you get it to go, they'll stink up your car for days.

    They don't serve this burgers with a side of fries. You get a side of pepperocini.





    As far as chains go.....Id probably opt for Wendys.


By Nate on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 07:23 pm:

    i was talking fastfood chains.

    wendy's is rank shit, man.


By eri on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 07:37 pm:

    Wendy's sux!!!!! Hate Wendy's.

    Tommy's also has great for Gyros. Haven't had those in years.


By LoneStranger on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 08:07 pm:

    del taco.

    it's not better. it's just good.

    fries and a taco.

    yum

    LS


By Antigone on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 08:29 pm:

    I had my first In n Out burger a few weeks ago. Not bad. But it still doesn't top the Jack 'n' The Box Ultimate Cheesburger with bacon. 1500 calories, 3x your RDA of saturated fat.

    That's 300%...


By dave. on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 09:27 pm:

    gee!


By Fb on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 - 11:09 pm:

    jack in the box egg rolls.....yum......nasty? yes...yum


By Czarina on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 12:27 am:

    Jack in the Box is my one and only hero.

    I,along with a multitude of friends,have committed multiple sins on their premises,and we can still go there.

    I would fight for a Jack Taco with extra sauce.[I hide them from my spawn](and I'm not sorry,only mad if they find them)

    They just got a Krystals here.I brought my spawn,they hated them.Kept gripping.

    I told them......"I didn't say they were tasty,I said they were cute". "I didn't say they were filling,I said they were cute."

    Brown Recluse live here,and get lots of people.They scare me.I had a black widow in my kitchen window last year.It scared me.But I like the part about the female eating the male after breeding,and think that should be incorporated into other societies.


By Nate on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:25 am:

    yweah, i forgot about jack in the box.

    but in n out is still better than fucking wendy's. mcdonalds. harveys. burger king. carls jr. big kahuna burger. juicy burger. del taco burgers. etc


By moonit on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:42 am:

    We've got KFC, McDees and BK here, Auckland has a Wendys, and somewhere random in the North Island apparently theres a Taco Bell.


By eri on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 08:51 am:

    Jack in the Box......how I missed Jack. He doesn't reside in Missouri (better named Misery). When we got into San Antonio, that was the very first place we stopped to eat. Sad, but funny. We have one about 1 mile away from the apartment (if that). I oink on Ultimate bacon cheeseburgers and tacos. I will die of a heart attack due to blockage by the time I am 35 at this rate, but gotta have Jack in the Box.


By J on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 09:44 am:

    WE just got an in n out here,been there twice,the Best fries I've ever had.


By semillama on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 09:58 am:

    KFC potato wedges rule.

    I had a nice date last night. We may go out
    again this weekend. She's an artist and
    currently a secretary in OSU's History
    Department. She still has dreadlocks, which
    are nice. She has a big smile and likes all
    sorts of music and oddball movies, like Heavy
    Metal Parking Lot. She plays cello and piano
    and wants to learn guitar. She gave my elbow
    a squeeze as we parted.

    I'm listening to the Isley Brothers.


By Czarina on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 10:01 am:

    J,sign onto MSN.


By J on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 10:07 am:

    Sem,this gal sounds like she could be the one:)


By Czarina on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 10:27 am:

    Does she have dirty feet?


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 11:42 am:

    its ALL shit nate. gimme a break.

    with wendys you could actualy disassemble your burger and all the parts would look like they are supposed to. Wendys are a bit more honest than some of the others i think.

    Carl's, BK, and Jack in the Box are on my black list. Don't eat those places. Del Taco only sees me when its 3 am,im tired and/or drunk and just need food.




By Czarina on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 01:50 pm:

    Jack-in-the-Box IS NOT SHIT.


By Czarina on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 01:54 pm:

    [well,except maybe for those little e-coli burgers they serve]


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:09 pm:

    I love Jack in the Box Tacos & Chili Cheese Fries,
    BK and Carls not too good, del taco fries are the only thing I like there,


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:12 pm:

    In and Out is nasty, made me sick the only time I tried it, but I did like the home cut fries


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:26 pm:

    Jack in the Box tacos??? holy shit Trace those are the worst. They use a slice of American cheese in them. can't get any more white trash than that man!


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:35 pm:

    exactly.
    that is why it is called JUNK FOOD.
    What other useful purpose (i tried spelling that three times and it still looks wrong) could they serve?
    What do you think cheeto's are?
    hot dogs? bologna?




    Besides, how do you KNOW that what they are telling you is beef in oneof those hole in the wall mexican reseraunts in LA really is BEEF?


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:47 pm:

    i dont eat bologna nor hot dogs and i prefer doritos thank you very much.

    "hole in the wall mexican restaurants"

    I love it...i havent heard that phrase since i lived back east and the only thing known about mexicans is that they live in shabby crap apartments, are illegal and are day laborers. "them damn mexicans...." usually followed the "hole in the wall..." bit.


    How do i know what ANY restaurant, mexican, korean, japanese or american is serving me what they claim to be serving me trace? what kind of dumbass question is that.


By sarah on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:50 pm:


    sem, i couldn't wait for you. i drank one glass of wine this weekend. oh, and one vodka martini. oh yeah, and two brandy alexanders.



    good luck anyway. and remember, you still have dave.




By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 02:57 pm:

    what kind of grouch are you?
    never mind joking around with you


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:03 pm:

    well...sometimes trace you remind me of the nitwits I left behind years ago.

    as depicted on WAYD, i am tired and a bit grouchy.


By Gee on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:08 pm:

    dave.!

    I bet you knew that was coming.


    ps...Jack in the Box should die. No really, Jack should crawl back into his box and wither up and die. just die, please.


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:10 pm:

    I am thinking Gee has a problem with Jack.


By Cat on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:19 pm:

    Spunktard, I really love the way someone says something nasty to you and you just let it slide off without having a major whiny fit.

    No, I really do.


By J on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:20 pm:

    Gee don't know Jack.Janny missed Gee


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:21 pm:

    cat...fuckdoodle....i love the way you come up with new incarnations of "fuck" and "tard".

    no really, i do.

    i've been saying "fucktard" and "fuckstick" for some time now.


By Cat on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:28 pm:

    Why thank you Patstick.

    No really, thank you.

    I call one of my friends Bonktard. But I like smacks.


By eri on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:37 pm:

    he learned "hole in the wall" from me who learned in there in Cali. By the way, I lived with mexicans and am related to mexicans so "them damned mexicans" why by the way aren't illegal day workers are my cousins. The phrase "hole it the wall mexican restraunt" is about the restraunt itself, not the ethnicity of the people who serve the food. The statement of "hole in the wall mexican restraunts" was usually followed by "don't worry about the cockroaches crawling across the floor, they don't eat much" in reference to the building and the fact that it was a small, rundown, unkown place in the middle of nowhere. So what was that dumbass statement all about? Or are you judging someone and assuming what they are thinking based on some other fucktard you might have known before?


By Cesar_Chavez on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:44 pm:

    si


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 03:53 pm:

    alright catshit and patstick
    shove it up your holes


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:01 pm:

    "patstick" ??

    "PATSTICK"?

    wtf is THAT trace?



    on an unrelated note, not worth starting a thread over...

    did anyone else see the huge and i mean HUGE ring around the moon last night?

    I had never seen such a sight. I dont know what causes rings around moons, I suspect it has something to do with light refracting off a mid to low thin cloud layer or something...so maybe it was localized in LA.

    I noticed it when around 10, i went on my balcony to smoke and noticed it seemed quite bright out for 10pm. Instinctively I looked around to see if they were filming nearby then looked up and saw the moon.

    I wished I was in a forest somewhere, unpolluted by light, as it was SO bright there would be shawdows. Ever been in a wooded area when its like that? So damn neat.


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:03 pm:

    ask catshit what a patstick is,
    i dunno....


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:04 pm:

    btw,
    that is a localized phonom, it has something to do with humidity and clouds....


By Cat on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:08 pm:

    I was being nice to you, Spunkshit. Now I'm not.


By J on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:09 pm:

    I sat on my patio watching it last night.


By Bunghole on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:09 pm:

    was it uranus......hahahaha.....


By spunky on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:14 pm:

    see what I meant by grouchy.
    NICE? NICE?
    Catshit, i would not be able to recognize NICE
    from you


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:18 pm:

    actually i see its formed by reflection of light off ice particles in the high level cirrus type clouds.

    there is an old wives tale that says bad weather is coming when there's a ring around the moon.

    according to our weather forcast..it will be clear and sunny, highs in the high 70s, lows in the 50s for the next week.

    yeah.....BAD BAD BAD BAD weather



By Cat on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:19 pm:

    I watched the moon rise over the ocean, so beautiful and threatening at the same time. Huge swelling ball of orange, like it was about to errupt and spew forth pretty flaming farts.

    I wished I wasn't watching it alone.


By Antigone on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:34 pm:

    What you saw, patrick, was a lunar rainbow. Quite rare and beautiful. I saw one in December for the first time in my life.


By eri on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:38 pm:

    I have seen it a couple of times. Once in Kansas City and once in Cali, out in the redwoods,when I was camping. Beautiful, but intimidating to a bunch of girl scouts. Lots of scary stories that night.

    I can't even remember the last time I saw a full moon. Gonna look for one, then I will bay at it and see what the neighbors say.


By Cat on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:38 pm:

    Antitard.


By eri on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 04:47 pm:

    antitard?


By wisper on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 05:05 pm:

    harvey's can be rank shit. Their veggie burgers
    are terrifying, so much like meat, you really
    have to wonder. I used to live on their
    hot-dogs. But now that they've adopted those
    goddamn trendy "crispy fries" i haven't been to
    one in a year. I hate those fucking crispy fries.
    They used to be okay, when they were a Taco
    Bell signature, and come covered in cheese
    and sour cream.
    But now everyone has them. They're wrong
    without cheese and sour cream and tomatoes
    and "beans instead of beef!!!" even though the
    drive-thru bitch never gets it right. Then i get to
    be the hippy bitch. Walk in, slap the Fries
    Supreme box on the counter: "Beans." "huh?"
    "i said BEANS" "...huh?" "does this look like
    beans?" "...uh,no?" "Yeah. Beans. Please."
    "oh...uhm...we're out of beans."
    Oh! well, okay then. How silly of me.
    I've been told that the Taco Bell menu differs
    greatly up here. I don't think Fries Supreme
    exists down south. And apparently you have
    more sauces. We have only hot + mild.

    I like Wendy's pitas. but they're gone now.
    Burger King makes me sick. BK is scary.


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 05:14 pm:

    The Del Taco, when growing up, used to have cinamon/chocolate shakes....something I dont think they have anymore. They all went out of business in the south but have done quite well here. What an odd but delic thing that was.

    Im not sure its still available....but for a while, when the all-protein diet was chic amongst hollywood's elite In and Out had a "protein diet burger" which was nothing more than two patties wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun.

    how obnoxious. Like "In and Out Burger" and "diet" belong in the same sentence.



By eri on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 05:46 pm:

    That reminds me of a Jack in the Box commercial, where they had a focus group. At the end of the group Jack walks in and says "BUT THAT'S JUST MEAT AND CHEESE" like they were all freaks, and the surfer looks at him and says, "Just meat and cheese, sounds good." or something like that.

    In'N'Out and diet, just don't belong together.


By Dougie on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 05:50 pm:

    There's a BK and a McD's close to me -- I go to the drivethrough at BKs for the hamburger and McD's for fries and shake. The Wendy's near me is rank. The ones in Columbus are good, obviously.


By patrick on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 05:59 pm:


By semillama on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 06:12 pm:

    Yes, they generally are, but they have the
    blandest fries. Good fries make a fast food
    place for me. Arby's curly fries, Rally's fries
    (Checker's for you southernas), and teh
    aforementioned KFC potato wedges are tops
    in my book. I don't eat fast food burgers, so no
    comment there. As far as chicken goes, KFC
    again is tops, then wendy's and BK. (Talking
    grilled not fried here).

    what the hell was this thread about again?


    oh yeah.

    She wants to see me again sometime next
    week as this week is taken up getting a
    portfolio together for an artist residency
    application. She's a printmaker.


By The Watcher on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 06:23 pm:

    Can't stay any longer.

    ADT called and my wife fell down.

    Must run now.


By sarah on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 08:12 pm:


    lunar rainbows are somewhat common in hawaii.




By Charmin on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 10:49 pm:

    How about rings around uranus? hardee,har,har!


By sarah on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 11:15 pm:


    jeeezis that's creepy. "charmin" is the nickname we gave kevin's youknowwhat.




By moonit on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 12:24 am:

    Tonight in the Southern Hemisphere anyway is going to be the brightest full moon this year.


By agatha on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 02:55 am:

    printmaker!

    go sem!

    i would ensure dave kept his promise, and solicit the help of my child too, if you were hypothetically to receive some nookie in the future.


By agatha on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 02:56 am:

    cute peta kitty. meow!


By Czarina on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 03:49 am:

    You can all speak for yourselves,I love to fondle my Jack balls,and am not too proud to admit it,or do it publicly.

    None of those other places have cute little balls you can play with in public...............

    So there!


By Antigone on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 06:15 pm:

    leotard


By Cat on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 06:44 pm:

    gonetard


By LoneStranger on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 08:56 pm:

    Lick the snot-end of my fuckstick, you puke!

    LS


By Antigone on Friday, March 1, 2002 - 12:41 pm:

    bonetard


By Awful on Friday, March 1, 2002 - 07:28 pm:

    The "snot-end of my fuckstick", eh? I once knew a mail-man named Moldy Old Bob who use to use that phrase.


By Cat on Friday, March 1, 2002 - 07:50 pm:

    conetard


By The Watcher on Friday, March 1, 2002 - 09:20 pm:

    Thank God for ADT.

    My wife fell and could not get up. She could not even reach the phone. But, she did have the alarm remote.

    My front door took the worst of this little insident. Doorways don't do to well against Police Officers shoes.

    My wife besides being a little bruised and shaken up is fine.

    I on the other hand could use a months vacation anywhere.


By The Watcher on Friday, March 8, 2002 - 01:22 pm:

    I don't believe it happened again.

    My wife fell again Wednesday morning.

    At least this time I was home.

    The local Volunteer Fire Department has been very helpful when we've needed them.

    But, I swear I'm going to find a cheap forklift.


By Fb on Friday, March 8, 2002 - 03:57 pm:

    Watcher, please bring me up to speed. why is your wife always falling?

    p.s. forget the forklft. how about trampoline floors?


By semillama on Friday, March 8, 2002 - 08:54 pm:

    From the dreadlock girl:

    "i've been in kind of a confusing
    friendship w/someone for about 2 yrs, and
    things have gone a bit weird. i
    want more, i told him that, we tried it for a
    while and he sort of flipped out and we
    stopped seeing each other for a while, but
    now we're kind of trying things again, i don't
    know, it's all right so far, but there is a lot
    to work out. it's kind of taking the fun out of
    things lately, but i think it's worth it now to try,
    and i have to admit that i'm really stuck on
    him and i want things to work out. so, there it
    is in a nutshell (sort of a large nutshell.....)
    anyway, i really like you, and it's cool to have
    a new friend to maybe go biking with when it
    warms up for good. i just felt like i needed to
    be honest about how things are, b/c i was
    feeling a little guilty on all fronts. <whew> ok,
    that's it."


    I believe my love life has now officially reached
    the level of "farce." Great way to start the
    weekend, huh (although on the plus side, I did
    learn how to operate a front end loader
    today)?

    Please someone tell me why I am only
    temporally attractive to just the women who
    are getting over or about to get back with an
    old boyfriend, because I would really like to
    know.


By eri on Friday, March 8, 2002 - 10:26 pm:

    Maybe it's because you just now learned how to use your front end loader :p

    Seriously, though, I have no clue as to why you are the rebound man. I never had any of them. Then again, I just jumped from one relationship to another and never took time to rebound. I really couldn't answer your question.


By wisper on Sunday, March 10, 2002 - 11:14 pm:

    go gay sem, damnit.

    ( i don't know what you becoming gay would
    solve, but by gum, you've got to try
    SOMETHING!)


By moonit on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 03:17 am:

    Sem, the rebound guy has got to be a better thing than the loser magnet girl.


By dave. on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 09:56 am:

    every attractive, single girl is on the rebound. they're looking for something shallow and meaningless. become that.

    you should be making a good, strong move on them by the end of the first date or don't even bother planning a second. if you're gonna be rejected, be rejected for something you did.

    you're dating like a church boy. you might as well go mormon and move to provo at this rate. plenty of girls there wanting to hold hands for 6 months before they get married.


By eri on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 10:31 am:

    Moonlit, the loser magnet thing can change. I just gave up and started dating whoever the hell I wanted whenever the hell I wanted. That's when it happened for me.

    I am so glad I am not single anymore! There is such a double standard in dating now. A guy goes and takes a girl to dinner at a nice restraunt and then a movie or concert or something and forks out at least $100, but if he expects anything he is a pig, and if he doesn't open the car doors and every other door every single time they go out then they don't know how to treat a woman with respect. On the opposite side. If a woman wants to go up to a stranger at a bar and say she wants sex, that is perfectly fine, and she can put whatever standards on the relationship she wants. It is a horrible double standard, and thank God I don't have to worry about this anymore.


By dave. on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 10:34 am:

    it's always been up to the woman.


By Spider on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 10:35 am:

    That's the weirdest double standard description I've ever read.


By eri on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 11:44 am:

    All I am trying to say is that relationships should be partnerships, but in this day and age, you don't get that chance anywhere near the beginning. Dating isn't about getting to know each other anymore. Women aren't looking to find a good man to take care of them, because they take care of themselves and don't need much more than companionship and sex, so the game has changed. It is more a game now than ever!


By The Watcher on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 01:40 pm:

    Fb,

    My wife has MS.

    Usually she does OK. But, sometimes her legs just stop working for her. It's that simple. One second she'll be shuffleing along fine with her walker and the next her leg will simply refuse to do what she wants it to.

    That's when she does her impression of a turtle on its back. Once she's down she's down. If she were a bit lighter maybe I could pick her up. But, at her current weight it takes more than one person to get her off the floor.


By Fb on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 02:03 pm:

    thanks, i have dermatomyositis and i'm an r.n. and i'm curious. sounds like you have your hands full.


By semillama on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 11:02 pm:

    I have now decided to keep my dating
    escapades (or lack thereof) to myself.
    That is all.


By moonit on Monday, March 11, 2002 - 11:41 pm:

    Sem why? Do you think we're giving you to much/many conflicting advice thingys?


By dave. on Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 01:13 am:

    that's fine with me. i couldn't wait so i went on ahead without you. good luck. i'm sure there's a woman out there somewhere who wants to touch your wee-wee.


By Nate on Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 02:32 am:

    sem get a pocket pussy and a bottle of ten high.

    sem get a hedge clippers and a subscription to cloistered monthly.

    sem shave your head and RECOGNIZE.

    sem i will introduce you to a world of gay cabaret.

    sem you are not really a yeti.

    sem the secret to women is they are dumb animals.

    sem the secret to getting a woman is you are a dumber animal.

    sem have a healthy self respect.

    sem have another donut.

    sem don't mourn the world gone by.

    sem buy a wooden axe and name it the cheeto slayer.

    sem i found god and he'd been hit by a car and i'm sorry he just didn't make it.

    sem you are a yeti.

    sem if you beat off daily you'll get more done.

    sem cancer killer #1 is not tits but the donut in your ass.

    sem if it is on a menu it is worth ordering.

    sem thank god you are not a kiwi.

    sem sleep is more affordable when you are young.

    sem the dark side of the moon is where everyone is laughing at you.

    sem what you don't understand doesn't matter.

    sem five per hand or you are a freak.

    sem the water is deeper than you think.

    sem you can't drown.

    sem YOUDAYETI.

    sem we chase what we think we want while is right tries to be caught.


    sem rotate your goddamn tires.

    sem nothing is less important than reality.

    sem packing the exhaust with tiny toads makes a mess on the garage door.

    sem korean food sometimes involves eating minnows.

    sem everything2.com has the answers.

    sem organic vegetables actually taste better.

    sem porn was better in the 70's.

    sem the guys who have it all expect it.

    sem sushi gets tiresome.

    sem expecting is the opposite of trying.

    sem no matter what the mouse says disney is not your friend.

    sem the black crows is fucking music.

    sem boldness.

    sem bravado.

    sem bitchslap.

    sem braingun.

    sem brandywine.

    sem bruno.

    sem.


By agatha on Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 11:44 am:

    heh.

    dave hasn't smoked or drank in one week. he's been pacing, and going to bed early. i'm proud of him, but i know it's not fun.

    sem, i can't add anything that nate hasn't covered, except maybe to hang tight and stop looking. really, it works.


By dave. on Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 12:03 pm:

    i really just want to kick somebody's ass but everyone can sense this and won't give me any good reasons.


By moonit on Wednesday, March 13, 2002 - 01:53 am:

    nate, whats wrong with kiwis? Unless you mean the bird and not the people... then its alright.


By droopy on Wednesday, March 13, 2002 - 02:03 am:

    maybe he meant that small citrus fruit that looks like a hairy lime. i wish i lived in new zealand. i'm a quiet american. i don't even have a full pair of lungs.


By moonit on Wednesday, March 13, 2002 - 02:59 am:

    mmmm kiwifruit. they have yellow ones now, specially made for the asian market.


    droop, they let anyone into the country. you dont need to be quiet.


By LoneStranger on Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 07:05 pm:

    Yea... what's wrong with Kiwi?

    LS


By Nate on Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 08:28 pm:

    there are more sheeep than women in new zealand.

    this is all.


By LoneStranger on Friday, March 15, 2002 - 06:59 pm:

    Same thing goes for Silicon Valley, it seems.

    LS


By eri on Friday, March 15, 2002 - 11:14 pm:

    At least sheep have teeth. Has anyone been to Missouri lately?


By LoneStranger on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - 07:30 pm:

    Not for a few years, but I tell you, there are more cows there than sheep.

    I'll probably go this summer.

    Hopefully we'll catch some catfish in the river.

    That would be yummy.

    LS


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