| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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Since when do you need a partner for that? |
i mean god damn already. its been a while for me to and well, rubbing the arm rest of the couch just doesnt cut it. you know? |
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If it makes anyone feel better, it has been 8 years since my cousin had so much as a date, let alone an orgasm. Kazoo is right, you don't need a partner to achieve an orgasm. Rubbing the couch probably won't do it though. |
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i know quite a few people that have gotten laid because of nerve.com, sem being our in-house example, presumably. |
I know that I can please myself but I just want sex .. ya know@! hard core sex!! |
golden showers? anal? midget handjobs? tit sex? rim jobs? what what exactly is it you need victoria? we cant exactly help you if you arent straight with us. |
You've just recharged my fantacy life. |
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I just have an over active imagination. |
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Just over active. |
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you creepy fuck. |
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for you? for Victoria? for a home-fried steak with a side of potatoes? |
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rm -R / |
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having never cooked steak, i wouldn't know anyway. but you know what's good? chocolate mint ice cream. chocolate mint anything, really. |
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or sometimes referred to as chicken fried steak. |
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saturday night i went to a pillow talk party - which is like a tupperware party except they're selling sex toys. while they had the most spectacular range of viberating toys, i didn't buy one, becuase i've had one for fourteen years now and still going strong despite wear and, uh, tear. instead i bought two products. one was called Nympho's Delight. she had us actually try it. we dipped these little rubber penises she gave us into the jar and went to separate rooms so we could apply it in private. it's this cream that you put up inside you and it gets warm and tingly. it's supposed to enhance orgasm obviously. well, it was powerfully stimulating even just sitting there, so i bought it. it will be fun to try. i asked the sales woman if a guy can feel it on his penis during or after sex, and she said she's never heard anyone say that they could. not that it matters i guess. now, the other product i bought i do so out of pure curiosity. it's called Chinese Something Or Other. it has the exact same ingredient in it that is used for pickling. you put it up inside you and it bloats up the walls of your vagina, making for a smaller passage, tighter fit. now, i'm not saying I NEED A SMALLER PASSAGE, because i dont, okay? okay??? i was just curious. apparently the effects of this cream last 24 hours, so you have to be careful about how much you apply and when. |
good times, sarah. |
You evil, evil man. |
I learned a new thing today. I found out that the plucked chicken skin on my arms has a name: Keratosis Pilaris. I am also getting conflicting advice on how to treat it. too loofah or not to loofah, that is the question. |
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yeah, alum, that's it. but it's not like PURE alum or anything. it's in a salve. it doesn't burn. there's probably a chance that some people have an allergic reaction to it, or anything else they put up there, but i don't think it would be a popular sex product if it burned. or shrank. shrank. what a cool word. |
nate. we're in the wrong business. |
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getting sun on it seems to help. |
I have been looking for a fun party like that out here. Tried Beaus & Eros, but they don't have anyone in Texas at all. Sucks. |
thank you! oh! speaking of adult products reminds me: last week i bought the Family Guy season 1&2 DVD (YEAH!) and we were watching it. These neighbourhood kids were running around the communal townhouse backyard shooting eachother with rubber dartguns. I have no ability to age children by looking at them, so i guess they were 7 or 8. Old enough to be little assholes. That age. Anyway, they saw we were watching cartoons so 3 of them crouched behind a lawn chair and watched the tv through our patio doors. Then they got bored and went back to shooting eachother, then back to watching our tv, then shooting, then tv. This went on for about ten minutes before i popped in the she-male porn video (found behind the grocery store last august), turned the tv more towards the doors, and waited for them to return. The moral of the story is: kids are stupid because they have no intrest in He-She Creamers Vol.4. In fact, they never came near the doors after that. Also, i am the greatest neighbour on earth. |
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children should never ever be shaken. only stirred. |
to both yous. |
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Within the week, one of them put on some porn and forgot the outdoor speakers were on. |
I was wondering where the dirty red commie went just this weekend! |
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I had no idea it was him. |
I had no idea it was him. THAT'S why he gives me this goofy smile everytime he sees me.... |
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I had no idea it was him. THAT'S why he gives me this goofy smile everytime he sees me...." awesome. |
love them porn |
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etiology: the theory of the factors in the genesis, origin, or cause of a disorder or disease. |
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