Threw away all my bf's Playboys


sorabji.com: What is the cruelest thing you ever did?: Threw away all my bf's Playboys
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By PlayboySchmayboy on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 07:06 am:
    This isn't really all that cruel. Least I don't think it is. I mean, I dunno.. some of you guys (or girls even) may *gasp* at the thought of tossing out your beloved playboy/playgirls.

    Am I a total bitch? I don't think so. (Maybe just a semi-bitch *grin*) Jealous? Maybe, kinda sorta, a little. I know I know.. they're just pictures in magazines and it's much better than him going out and cheating on me but I couldn't help it.

    I was cleaning his room one day that I was staying with him and as I shoved the mattress back on the bedframe so it was even with the other side, one of them came sliding out from between the mattress and boxspring. After I picked it up and flipped thru it (well, wouldnt you?!) I just tossed it back under the mattress and tried to forget about it. I didn't mention any of this to him when he got home from work. I did leave it alone, but for some reason, as we were sleeping that next night and making love all I could think about was that magazine right underneath him (on his side so he had easy access to it no doubt). The next day when he went to work, I lifted the mattress and found 3 more that I hadn't noticed when I tossed the other back in. I took them all out and decided that I would mention to him that I found them. I emailed him at work (*laugh* how 90's is that) and decided that I would take the understanding approach. Because, afterall I wasnt really angry with him. I mean, we're all curious human beings and I also didn't want him to feel he had to hide them from me. That kind of stuff only gives cause for suspicion. So I told him that I had found them while making his bed and that it was ok, and I in fact had looked at those at one point in time, out of curiousity and that he didnt have to hide anything from me. I think I half told him this way, thinking 'ok, now maybe he has "this" out of his system and won't buy them anymore.' He felt embarrassed, nonetheless and said that he didn't buy them all the time, but just recently started to. So I stuck these in a bag in his closet and forgot about them.

    All was well for awhile and I was back a week or so later to stay with him and while he was at work, went about my usual routine of laundry, cleaning and bed making. Well, of course I couldn't resist lifting that mattress again to see if there were any new ones. So I walked over to his side of the bed and lifted the queen size mattress to the best of my ability. *whew* Nothing as far as I could see. He'd gotten tired of them already. Heh, or so I thought. I decided I would check all over, just to be certain. Ok, well what do ya know... he decided I wouldn't possibly think to look under -my- side of the bed. ;p So there they were. Miss November, December and January. I didn't mention this to him and instead chose one of my usual "I'm fine, nothings wrong" aloof responses when he came home and I wasn't in the cheeriest of moods. It wasn't til I went to stay with him another week or 2 later and I found some more (apparently some were back issues that he had been getting from a friend of his too) that I finally decided to get rid of them. We'd also had a talk that week before about something and he had said that he wasn't really interested in that kind of stuff anymore. So I took it upon myself to dispose of the remainder of the magazines. I tossed them in the garbage can, tied the bag, took it out to the cans outside and that was that.

    He never mentioned anything to me about his missing mags, although I'm sure he had to notice, and I never mentioned to him about disposing of them for him. I havent been up to his house to stay lately, (he's been here) but you can bet when I do I will do a little investigating.

    I don't think I was SO far off on this. I mean, I understand that they were his and he payed for them etc, but still. It just bothered me that he had them and wouldnt tell me about them or would lie. I guess that made it worse. I've flipped through a couple of those before and I dunno.. I just dont see what the big deal is. I'd much rather have in the flesh, live human contact. And if you say you buy them for the articles, c'mon puh-leeze.. that ones a tad old and I'm not -that- gullible. ;)

By Blindswine on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 05:10 pm:
    uhh...

    ever read an article/interview in playboy?
    try it.
    playboy is one of the best monthly publications available...
    i've had a subscription for years...
    yeah, the pictures are a nice distraction, but they're hardly why i buy the magazine.

    hell, if i want porn i don't fuck around with the airbrushed t & a fare offered in playboy...

    when i want porn, i log on to the internet.

By Christopher on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 07:08 pm:
    Jeez, next thing, you'll be looking at his video collection. Honey...Just 'cause the cover says "The Jungle Book" doesn't make it so.

    If one of my boy friends went through my shit and tossed it, He'd be dumped. Creepy. Like someones Mom or something. Brrrrrrrrrr.

    (And I read Playboy for the articles too. Like I could give a rats ass about Miss November...)

By Christopher on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 07:10 pm:
    Jeez, next thing, you'll be looking at his video collection. Honey...Just 'cause the cover says "The Jungle Book" doesn't make it so.

    If one of my boy friends went through my shit and tossed it, He'd be dumped. Creepy. Like someones Mom or something. Brrrrrrrrrr.

    (And I read Playboy for the articles too. Like I could give a rats ass about Miss November...)

By Christopher on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 07:13 pm:
    Wait! I have a question...


    Why does your boyfriend put his playboys under the mattress??? I thought people stopped doing that around the age of 16. For some reason I find this really funny.

By Sorabji on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 07:18 pm:
    the amazing thing about Playboy is that after all these decades it's still synonymous with "dirty pictures" and "smut" even though you'd have to be 15 years old to really get off on that crap.

    i wouldn't throw out a girlfriend's porn magazines or videos (or her CDs or her photo albums or any other of her personal belongings, for that matter).

    whenever i have found that someone i was seeing had a stash we ended up watching/reading them together.

    i just don't find that stuff threatening.


By R.C. on Saturday, April 25, 1998 - 02:02 pm:
    I don't care if it was Playboy or Yellowsilk or an autogprahed 1st edition of Anais Nin -- My Shit is My Shit! And I'd break anybody's hands who tossed out my things without my permission. What you did to yr man was was rude & disrespectful. That was his house/not yours!

By Christopher on Saturday, April 25, 1998 - 03:08 pm:
    I still wanna know why an adult would stash their PB's under the mattress. Bwahahahahahahahaa!!!!

    (I'm not into porno, but I have a couple of videos. They sit in the same stack on the vcr as X-Files and Letterman. One of my friends thinks the titles are hysterical, and razzes me about it all the time."Iron Men of Porn" is his fave.)

By Pete on Saturday, April 25, 1998 - 11:55 pm:
    I kinda like 'Powertool' myself...

By Christopher on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 02:26 am:
    Yeah, Thats a good 'un.

    My favorite porno title comes from "The White Report" (congress's investigation into porno some years back at terrific taxpayer expense).
    Drumroll Please..............



    "The Horny Holy Roller Family"

    Gimme 'dat ol' time religion....

By Playboy Schmayboy on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 06:34 am:
    Yeah, you guys are right.. and I did feel really guilty after doing it too. But for some reason, at the time I was just kinda.. I dunno. Can't think of the word(s) I want to use. I wasn't really thinking about it being his, more about how it made me feel. Comes down to self esteem issues that I obviously needed to deal with, rather than taking that route. Silly, I know. Past relationships.. fucked up ones at that, can sometimes do that to ya.

    As for finding porn on the internet oh yeah he does that as well. Heh. But I'd lie if I said I didn't look every once in awhile also.

    And for the age/matress thing.. we're both 20, and he stuffed them under there for easy access apparently. (Doesn't have a place to set them next to his bed at the moment)

    And yes, I have picked those up and read the articles. Some are pretty interesting. If that's all he wanted though, I would have preffered he find a different magazine. (Once again, this has to do w/the self-esteem issues. Cuz its realistic to think an air-brushed 1 dimensional chick from 25,000 miles away would somehow change my relationship with him. Heh ;p )

    Anyway that was awhile back into our relationship.. we've been together for a little longer now (a year) and I would never think of doing that kind of thing again. Just thought I would post that and see how 'horrible' everyone would think I was. Oh my, now I know.

    P.S. I just bought a Playgirl for the first time in my life, last weekend. Partly because I felt if my boyfriend was gonna be looking at that kind of stuff, then I should be allowed to also. Seemed fair. Ack, talk about him throwing a fit. Heh, and not the kind where it's obvious.. but the aloof, pissy, going off in a huff, tizzy fits. Go figure.


By Pete on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 10:30 am:
    Can I borrow that when you're done?

By PlayboySchmayboy on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 09:57 pm:
    Sure thing ;) They're (3) actually older issues.. from like 95 & 96 that I bought at Lover's Package before a road trip a couple weekends ago. I only really liked one of them and it was because of the model who actually kept his clothes on! Twas actually the celeb interview and it was Austin Peck from Day's of Our Lives. *drool*

By Underwater on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 10:25 pm:
    i hope the next time you mug someone and take their wallte you think "I wasn't really thinking about it being his,
    more about how it made me feel"

    best of all, as long as you're drooling over playgirl while he's wondering what his mommy did with his dirty magazines and thinking about confronting you with it, all is well, and you win.

By R.C. on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 11:28 pm:
    Playgirl's weak! The real hotties are in BlueBoy. It's a gay mag/but hey -- the pictures can't tell whose looking.

By Christopher on Monday, April 27, 1998 - 01:32 am:
    R.C.!! You're gonna ruin it for us!


By CarrieAnn (aka PlayboySchmayboy) on Monday, April 27, 1998 - 06:04 pm:
    In response to Underwater.....

    Mugging vs tossing out 2 or 3 old magazines which he said he didnt care about anyway & having other things in the relationship that we were dealing with at the time as well...... hrmm, yeah good analysis. And I am in no way the 'mother' of this relationship in that respect.. well, aside from our little role playing, but thats another post for another day.

    And the encouragement to buy the Playgirl came from him in the first place because he knew i had never done so. He then began to get pissy AFTER the fact. I already threw them away and I was saying the one model I *did* like was the one fully clothed. Go figure.

    ----------------
    I don't read playgirl on a reg basis. It was just something I did as one of those 'first time for everything' deals. I'm not all that into the stuff overall. But thats just me, personally. I don't condemn people who read it... and that includes my boyfriend. It was just at the time, I wasn't happy with other things (with him) and this added to it. But things are fine now, so no worries.

    I actually prefer X Y for mags along those lines. Well, not porn, because I have yet to see any -porn- ni X Y. Heh. But I have some friends on staff of the magazine and one of my closest friends sometimes models for them. Which reminds me, I have to go pick up the latest issue. He said he had a full page layout. We'll see.

By Christopher on Monday, April 27, 1998 - 08:22 pm:
    Um..How about his phone number?

By CarrieAnn on Monday, April 27, 1998 - 08:32 pm:
    He's only 18, that ok? Well, heck it's legal.. that works. I'll go buy that copy and see if I can find Jason in it and I'll let you know so you can check him out for yourself..

By CarrieAnn on Tuesday, April 28, 1998 - 11:47 am:
    Or you could always go look at him on my homepage. But that's still under construction and takes a long time to load. Email me (gardenia@speakeasy.org) if you want me to send you my personal fav, pic of him. ;)

By Markus on Tuesday, April 28, 1998 - 02:32 pm:
    OK, it's another day, tell us about your role-playing.

By CarrieAnn on Tuesday, April 28, 1998 - 05:18 pm:
    lmao@Markus

    I got myself into this one, didn't I? ;p

By CarrieAnn on Tuesday, April 28, 1998 - 10:12 pm:
    Ok, well I actually got some Email about the pic(s). So I'll post the url for those of you who didn't get a copy of that Email or the URL yet *heh* ... it's http://www.speakeasy.org/~gardenia His picture is under a couple different sections...
    *Friends - he's Jason K. aka JasonInTen (the Jason stands for his name - duh, the InTen for the statistic that 1 in every 10 men are gay)
    *More Friends - Prom pic of he and I a cpl years ago (pay no attention to me, for your own well-being) and then a pic of him & 2 of our friends (Lindsay & Robyn)
    *Miscellaneous - about 4 or 5 pics of him that I took last year for something (can't remember now)

    I'm pretty sure thats it. And I do apologize for the time it takes to download. I'm making them into thumbnails as we speak and will have that fixed soon, I hope. Best to just minimize the browser, do whatever and come back to it. And you may want to hit reload after that even, due to some pics getting stuck and not fully coming through.

    So that's that. Like I said, he's only 18... but he is a cutie & he did manage to get a couple lay-outs in XY. So there ya have it. Enjoy, sign my guestbook,email me, yadda yadda yadda.... ;)

By Skottey on Monday, June 22, 1998 - 02:30 pm:
    I would be pissed if some dumb ass bitch tossed my collection of magazines or videos or anything else for that matter. The bitch would be out on the street in a matter of seconds. I have had some shitty women, example #1- X wife but even she respected my shit and didn't throw out all the shit she didn't like. That was a very bad thing that you did. I would have left you. Get a grip on yourself.

By CarrieAnn on Wednesday, June 24, 1998 - 10:21 am:
    *Thinks about responding to post.... decides not too.... changes her mind....*

    Well, mister Skottey... your lovely word choice for your "dumb ass bitches" is one of the reasons I'm not with you (iow. someone LIKE you) , but my boyfriend. As for leaving me? If you always talk like that, pretty sure I would have left YOU long before......


    Let me clear all this up right now....

    I threw them away AFTER he had told me he was going to anyway. We had sinced talked about it and he told me that he was glad I did throw them away after all. Not justifying what I did, just stating the facts. I never said that I was happy with the way I handled it and it's not like I went bragging to my girl friends about it later. There were other things surrounding it (you're only hearing this one side/small part of it) as well at the time that I don't care to get into right now. I do respect him and his things.... as much as he does mine. I have already said it was in poor judgement/taste, but I also feel as though it wasn't as "terrible, awful, horrible" etc etc as people are making it out to sound. In terms of WHAT it was I tossed out, that is. But if you want to give that kind of a biased, somewhat pig-headed take on the matter, so be it. As for getting a grip on myself? No thank you, I prefer getting a grip on my boyfriend. Much more accesible handle. *ahem*

    Oh and another thing.. it was awhile ago, and I had forgotten about it. Pssst, Mark.. any way to delete old/unwanted posts? ;p

By Skottey on Wednesday, June 24, 1998 - 04:16 pm:
    To answer your question, No I don't always talk to women like that. It just struck me the wrong way to see what you did. And in response to you stating that you would have left me long ago for talking to you like to that, I would not have been with somebody that would do something like that in the first place, so I wouldn't have to talk to her like that. You are right, I am sure there is a lot more to this story. I guess re-evaluating the situation, he had all the signs of your jealousy long before this happened and should have left you then, he should have known your character, I am sure a lot of things built up to this incident. I guess it was his own fault in a way. Try not to be so Jealous in the future, it is not good.

By CarrieAnn on Thursday, June 25, 1998 - 08:18 am:
    Yes, well we all do things we regret later on and no, jealousy isn't a part of my character. In fact I have always been very openminded, easy going and wayyy too forgiving for my own good. But if you would take something like that and say that you would not have been with "someone like that in the first place"... well, I guess that's a choice of your own because you don't really know ME. You only know of one little incident, which yes, did involve much more. But I suppose that's not your fault because that is all I let you know, from this post. So *shrug* I guess that's why I'm glad I have a boyfriend who I know that I can communicate with now and who wouldn't take this incident and blow it out of proportion and 'leave me.' Would hate to think of someone throwing away something that yes, was a tad screwed in the beginning, but came around because of communication and understanding. What we have now I would not trade for anything in the world. He is my best friend and the only one I have ever "loved." And I can honestly say that this is the worst thing I have ever done during the whole 13 months of our relationship. When compared to things such as cheating on each other or violence, I dunno but I find it pretty miniscule in the scheme of things.

    We're moving in together on July 13th and I couldn't be happier. I know now that it is very important for that trust to be there and for any jealous feelings that may surface to be taken care of. We all have felt the force of the green-eyed monster at some point in our lives. It's one thing to get jealous over someone's new car, but it's another to feel the need to know where your bf/gf - wife/husband is at all times, who they're with, what they're talking about.. get my drift? Kinda my point on how I was feeling. (Hrmmm.. I started out knowing what I wanted to say and now I only managed to confuse the holy hell outta myself. *giggle*) I WAS jealous, I'm not a jealous PERSON. And so with that....


    DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY. :)

By CarrieAnn on Thursday, June 25, 1998 - 08:21 am:
    p.s. I am posting this, having not slept in about 20 hours and having just had my fair share of wine coolers. So please forgive any stupidity in quantities more than the usual. *grin* Grassyass.

By ZAN- ivleosprintmail.com on Wednesday, July 29, 1998 - 01:33 pm:
    CARRRIE ANN , I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD THROW AWAY SUCH UNECCASARY OBJECTS ( MAGS) WHEN HE COMMITED TO YOU HE COMMITED TO GIVE UP LUST FOR OTHER WOMEN. NOW IF IT IS A COUPLE THANG & YOU BOTH DO IT TOGETHER THATS ONE THING, BUT HE WAS HIDING IT FROM YOU... THAT AS MY PHSYC' TEACH ONCE SAID IS THE FIRST STEP TO INFEDELITY... BECAUSE IF HE STARTS LOOKING TO PICS FOR PLEASURE SOON ENOUGH IT WON'T BE EXCITING ENOUGH, ETC... I DON'T AGREE ALL THE WAY BUT IN SOME MANNERS I DO ! HE SAID HE WAS DONE, SO YOU HELPED HIM BE COMPLETELY DONE... & ALL YOU MEN TALKING SH*T ABOUT PERSONAL STUFF BEING THROWN AWAY, IF YOU WOKE UP AT YOUR GF'S AFTER GREAT SEX & FOUND SHE WAS DOING SOME SELF MOTIVATION BEFORE YOU GOT THERE... THE GREEN MONSTER WOULD GET YOU TOO. IT HAS LESS TO DO WITH SELF CONFIDENCE THAN IT DOES RESPECT & COMMITMENT. HE HAS HER WHY DOES HE NEED EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES ON THE SIDE? NONE OF THAT IM A MAN BS, GIVE ME A REAL ANSWER

By Skottey on Wednesday, July 29, 1998 - 10:26 pm:
    What do you mean they were COMMITTED? They were not married, nor were they engaged. They were just "going steady".

    I have always looked at nasty magazines and masturbated and stuff even when I am in a relationship and even when I was married. That does not mean I am going to eventually cheat nor does it mean I have not commited myself to the lover.



    You say it leads to something more by looking at these magazines. I would have never even considered cheating on my wife or any of the girlfriends I had. Yet my xwife found it neccessary to cheat on me. She didn't do it because she was mad at me for looking at the magazines and masturbating she did it because she wanted an easy way out of the marriage.



By
Carrie Ann on Tuesday, August 18, 1998 - 01:51 pm:

    Well, once again I say... every scenario is different because the people involved are different. As for how commited we were (are) that doesn't matter much if we don't have a title (married/engaged..) it's how you _feel_ about each other and how you consider yourself to be commited. If I love him, he loves me, and we have an understanding of what kind of a relationship we have, I don't care if we don't have a piece of paper that _says_ we're 'married' or not. There are just certain ways things go.

    Heh, and again I will say I was wrong in what I did. It wasn't right or fair of me to do. I did it out of frusteration/anger/hurt at not only that, but other situations. I'm just glad that I have the kind of boyfriend (whom I live with now) who took my throwing out those magazines as something being wrong and rather than blow up and go off on me, he took the time to see what I was feeling and why I did it. Not saying I went about it the best way, but *shrug* 'tis in the past.

    And despite how it may seem, I'm not a jealous, spiteful or overall 'bad' person. We all make mistakes and do foolish things. I still say this was pretty minor in the scheme of things. *shrug*


By Carrie Ann on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 07:28 pm:

    Oh wow, over a year later and my 'confessional' post is still here. *laughs* Crazy! Guess what.. my boyfriend and I are STILL TOGETHER. Neiner neiner neeeeeeiner. (I'm so mature, aren't I? <grin>) 3 years and goin strong. :)

    And I totally agree, throwing away something of someone elses is TOTALLY fucked up, no matter what it is or for what reason, and I can't believe I ever did that. Looking back on it now I should have just brought it to his attention, talked with him about the way it made me feel if it was bugging me that much, and just kind of gone from there. I'd be pretty upset if he went through my things and threw away something like old boyfriend's pictures/letters.

    And well.. I can't really be upset with him now for something like this either, considering I worked on a couple porn sites for awhile. <grin> (Doing web/graphic work, you naughty monkies!)


By Gee on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 11:33 pm:

    I'm kind of curious to read Playboy, but I'm too chicken to actually buy the magazine.


By Rhiannon on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 11:46 pm:

    Don't bother. And don't bother with Taboo either, unless you like water sports.

    Jeez, all this fuss over Playboy. Try finding BDSM magazines at 13 with no other examples of what sex is like. It will mess you up.


By Jim on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 01:28 pm:

    I think it's all about respect - throwing out your
    boyfriends things - NO MATTER WHAT THEY
    ARE - is not going to make him into the
    person you want him to be.

    Maybe you should talk with each other. If he
    wanted to be with Miss July, you'd be so out of
    the picture.

    I think women who are jealous of photos of
    women that their mates have never met have
    esteem issues.

    Conversely, my girlfriend can look at any man
    she wants - provided she still comes home
    with me. I am not just the sum of my looks
    (thankfully) - I got the cushy boyfriend job by
    being the REAL DEAL.

    So is your boyfriend only with you for the sex -
    or do you contribute something else to his
    life? And while I'm on the subject, is he good
    to you too? Or does he stuff you under the
    mattress?


By not myself on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 05:20 pm:

    So then what do you call the boyfriend who lies about having the Playboys and says that they aren't his and hides them (thinking you won't find them) and when you are at a club together his best friend walks up and talks to him about how you are the hottest chick in the bar and your boyfriends says that he just doesn't see it, and you aren't a supermodel, or Miss July? Would you say that is a problem on the part of the girlfriend or the boyfriend?


By Simone on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 11:37 pm:

    "lies about having the Playboys and says that they aren't his and hides them (thinking you won't find them)"

    Well, why does he lie? Does he lie because he is ashamed of why he has them or has she has indicated that she disapproves or it would make her feel jealous/insecure?

    "your boyfriends says that he just doesn't see it, and you aren't a supermodel, or Miss July"

    I think he's an ass if he says this, and he's got a problem. If she knows that this is going on, then she's got a problem.




By Nate on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 11:39 pm:

    holy crap sex on a triscuit.


By semillama on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 01:34 pm:

    It sounds like they're both assholes.


By eri on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 03:27 pm:

    OK he told her last week that he wouldn't accept her kids. Says this after he proposed to her, but whatever. He told her that he wants her to date him and only him until he is ready to deal with the kids (one boy and one girls, both awesome kids) which would take 2-5 years. Then she talked to my friend here who is going to drive 12 hours to visit her in April even though he only met her once. She said that put it all in perspective for her and finally dumped the loser fiancee.

    There is so much more to the story, but needless to say, it is over. Thank God, finally over.


By Dddadd1 on Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 04:42 am:


By Abesto123 on Monday, May 23, 2005 - 03:03 pm:

    Nice one, but i think you should focus on improving a little bit and putting new content. Ohterwise i always encourage such ideas.


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