Ok, I'm not proud of this, and I'm not proud of the fact that the memory alone sends me into fits of laughter... but it does. I don't recommend that you do this with your cat, as he or she will never forget it and will likely hate you for the rest of it's life. Anyway... I put tape on my cat's paws. This really confuses a cat. My cat would not put his paws on the ground. He'd tap the ground, but could keep his paws on the ground. It must feel strange. Then he tried to remove the tape with his mouth. That didn't work. Then he flapped his paws, first the right then the left, then back to the right &c. Finally he gave up and tried to put his paws back on the ground. He did, but for some reason it confused him so much that he forgot to stiffen his front legs and his face hit the floor. At this point I felt a bit ashamed and took the tape off. Of course, I did it a few times more since then. Eventually he caught on, and now just kind of looks at me with a tired and stoic expression which seems to say, "when will you tire of this game?" He doesn't do anything funny anymore. Another time I spun him around on an office chair. When I finally stopped it and he jumped off, he fell over. He then started to walk away, but walked sidewise and hit the wall. Poor kitty! I know this sounds like the kind of thing a child would do, but I got the cat when I was 20. I have no explanation for my behaviour. I do regret it, but I still can't help laughing... I must be a sicko.

Yes, Yes you are. Retribution will occur, most likely in the form of cat tuckus in an unappropriate place.

Willy--fuck you.

yup. fuck you.

And the horse you rode in on.

this girl talked my ear off yesterday about horses. then she's like "jay, you talk way too much" being all sarcastic and witty cause i hadn't said shit during the whole conversation. i felt like yelling at her, "thats because i don't give a flying fuck about horses!" I hate it when people tell me i'm quiet. like it's a bad thing. seems like the ones who say that are those people who just absolutely never fucking shut their bleeding trap for an instant. also seems that i had a dislike for those people long before they said anyting about my being quiet.

You are not quiet, first impressions make you seem that way, you are just selective in your conversation, there, feel better now?

i've put tape on my cats' feet before. are you all going to tell me to fuck off? go ahead, i dare you. it is really funny, if you don't do it frequently. they do a little dance, kinda.

When I was a small child I dressed my cat up in baby clothes and strapped him into a stroller, took him all round the neighborhood, I was wearing my mums highheels at the time, tripped and the stroller fell over, Teabags (his name) was screeching and I was crying. My parents came rushing out to see what the noise was about and laughed their heads off, I was VERY hurt. I was only trying to be a grown-up. I also used to put those hideous lacy doilies between the cats' ears so it looked like a hat, my younger brother actually thought for years that lacy doilies were cat hats.

My cat got stuck to a Crunchie bar wrapper, so funny, he didnt know if he should lick the chocolate or hop away. I laughed so hard I cried. then I took it off him.

At christmas time I like to stick all those bows from wrapping paper on the cats tails, they look so festive. Pity they dont see it that way. My cat is currently sitting on wet washing, I suppose its better than jumping in the washing machine which he likes - and I always thought cats hated water.

Speaking of felines and X-mas decorations: Have you ever had a cat that's eaten the silver icicles and pooped them partway out? They run around with a second silver tail and no-one has the guts to pull it out? Once in a while, I'll stick a piece of tape to my dog. She's such a weenie that she usually give's me the "Why do you torture me?" look. I feel bad and I'll pull it off. the best is sticking some tape under her chin - she holds her neck out at a really uncomfortable angle, but doesn't really know what do to about it...

Okay, I am a really really cat lover, living in the USA made me realize the difference between us, for example, in England I would shout out"here pussy" or "my pussy is getting on my wick" or "leave my pussy alone" - living in the good old U S of A, I would never say those things, what would people think! Same language different meaning.

My cat looks so cute with xmas bows stuck to his head. I've never done the tape thing, but it does sound funny. Last night my cat ate the tail of his toy mouse - just muched it up until there was no tail left.

Yuck. For the record, the little silver things are very bad for feline intestines. So I wouldn't find it that amusing. But I'm also very protective of my cats. Bell tried to eat my shoelace this morning. I was mortified. But what he really, really loves is pasta. He'll go nuts over it, and it's the funniest thing to watch him try and eat it...

I used to dress my dog up in people clothes and let him walk around. full dress. shirt, shorts, socks, a little cap. it made me laugh.

I'm really really sorry that my message about tape on my cat's paws offended... It is under the heading of the cruelest thing I've ever done, which, all things considered, no one died, and my cat still loves me, isn't all that bad. Once a christmas bow got stuck to my cat's tail, near his bum. Everytime he tried to sit, he'd feel something weird and get up. When I figured out what he was doing (it was Christmas, after all, I wasn't paying 100% attention to my cat), I took the bow off. It was funny, but I still feel bad for laughing. I don't think cats feel humiliation in the same way people do, but that doesn't make the tape thing any less mean... I'm just sorry someone told me to fuck off, I guess. So much for sharing.

ignore them. they all put tape on their cats' feet in secret. they just won't admit it.

I'll scream it out loud. I've done it. I've also put bags on their feet. I've also layed them on their sides on a hardwood floor and spun them. I've also made them two-step with me to the music for the country music awards. I've put the entire heads of kittens into my mouth.

"I've put the entire heads of kittens into my mouth." me too! plus i also used to put ella (when she would still fit) into my front overall pocket then we would party all around! remember, sem?? plus, i also used to chase andy's cat around the house. squealing "are you a bug? can i put you in a cart? cats like it. it's all true

If you tie a bandana loosely around their middles, they won't move their back feet. They'll just plop over and look helpless.

Bell likes to wrap himself around my neck like a stole. He'll clamber up there when I'm sitting, and when I stand up, he slides off and gives me the dirtiest look. I think cats do feel humiliation. A cat at the house I was in today tried to jump from a table to another table and missed--she stalked out and hid under the sofa. I wasn't ever very cruel to my cats when I was little, but I do remember making coronation robes for one of my cats when I was around seven. The whole works. Little dress and robe with trim and fake pearls and shoes and crown and stuff. I feel so bad, now, thinking about the expression on my poor cat's face.

I don't think cats feel humiliation in the same way that *people* do. I've known cats who look embarassed when they've missed a jump, but more often than not, they try to make it look intentional. I don't think they feel humiliated when their human decided to do something that makes them look "stupid" because they don't have a sense of that. They may have a sense of not being able to do something, but not of "looking stupid" exactly... well, not when it's clearly the human doing something to them. One final cat torture story... I thought a christmas bow on my cat's head would look nice, so I put a shiny silver one on. I guess he could sort of see it (maybe I put it too close to his face) and it was scaring him and he started to walk backwards. He nearly fell down the stairs before I figured out what was going on. I didn't think he could hurt himself with the bow, or I certainly wouldn't have done it. Despite the fact that these memories make me laugh, I do regret having done them. My only consolation is he never did get hurt (well, the chair spinning might have made him uncomfortable... but he wasn't supposed to sit on that chair... and the spinning experience hasn't really stopped him from sitting on it since) and he seems to not care. I have one last question - wouldn't fucking the horse I came in on be more cruel than tape on a cats paws? Just curious...

Yes,fucking the horse you came in on would be more cruel than tape on a cats paws,unless your a real "stud".Oh, go on shoot me.

My cats feel humiliation. Certainly, they think things are funny sometimes, like when I fall out of bed or step in a kitty mess or a card game is ruined because they stepped on it, but I don't think they would find tape on the thier paws amusing. We were driving behind a car that hit a cat tonight. It made me really sad that they didn't even stop to see if it was ok, or to attempt to locate the owner, or anything. It was just like "thump" and floor it. Ugh. Makes me sick. Stopping to deal with roadkill seems like common decency, especially when it's someone's beloved animal. Ugh.

so, did you stop?

Again, I don't think they feel humiliation in the same way that people do. And I wouldn't have called it "cat torture" if I thought my cat enjoyed the tape. He certainly didn't. As for humiliation... when they feel that they haven't accomplished something (like jumping on the bed, or making it to the litter box, even though they are ill) they do seem to get embarassed. But they don't think, "gee, my human looks so stupid tonight, I hope my hip cat friends don't see me with her." Maybe I'm not making myself clear. I'll try harder. When I put the tape on my cat's paws, he probably was annoyed and uncomfortable and possibly dissapointed that I wasn't helping him fast enough. I don't think it humiliated him because it wasn't his own personal failing. That's just what I think.

i've taped people together before. never a cat. i probably wouldn't do that. for one, she's like my kid, and two, she'd probably eat my eyeball in my sleep. but i have no problem taping people up. nope. get over here. ive gotta roll of duck tape.

There's a story that Mavis could tell about people being taped together...

sem, let's NOT go there...do i really need to be out about my tape fetish too??

Tell the story! Tell the story!!!

oh god, it's just so dumb----- sem, maybe you should field this one. you have my permission to reveal all....

Willy, you are a jack-ass.

More clarification please - why am I a jackass? I'm not even disagreeing with anyone. I agree that cats feel humiliation and all sorts of more complex emotions (which is why I REGRET having put tape on my cat's feet - that's why this thread is called "Cat Torture" and not "Fun things to do to your cat"). At least I take the time to try to explain my perspective. I could call you names or tell you where to go, but I choose to be a bit more open-minded and conversational. Maybe that's what makes me a jackass? Go figure.

You ENJOY it, you laugh about it. How can that be REGRETTING it?

jeez, why does everyone have to pick on willy nilly? thixon, people laughed about cats having tape stuck to them because IT'S FUNNY! if you want to argue, argue. i'm here to party. where's the duct tape? i've got the polaroid and some new panties!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and were would you duct tape the panties to?

At least I did not tell him to go fuck himself like others have done.

I can't tell that tale, it all took place while I was absent.

the ceiling fan!!!!! the bobsled!! the coffeepot!!!!

Details Mavis, I want details. And Thixon, check the PMS thread where Willy refers to shoving things up her vagina. I think we can conclude that Willy is a she. Or a hermaphrodite...in which case, I want to see pictures.

well, it was me and my girlfriend at the time and we got all silly and invited this guy we barely knew who seemed cool to go with us to the paulding light(sem, you definitely need to explain the paulding light) . we went back to my house amnd waited fro sem to get out of work and come home so we could all go. and waited and waited and eventually got so bored we started making ducttape clothes for each other, and taping ourselves together, in hopes that sem would come home and think there was a hostage crisis. well, we got bored of waiting and so removed all the tape and the guy got freaked out and left and then sem came home later.

thanks for sticking up for willy, mavis. i tried to a while ago, but it apparently wasn't very successful. willy- all new people get fucked with. it's a rule.

I was going to say something,then I have been busy screwing up my computer.I have a problem getting extra display info,result code 0x800004005(generic failure)No sound card Error-00040258 What does this all mean??? About the cats,it is a good thing nobody remembers the tale about my cat aand his tail,or they would have already called the A.S.P.C.A.Did any of you know they had homes for abused and neglected animals before they had them for kids?

Its fun to make little tin foil booties for your kitty.

it's also fun to make sparkly capes for your cats then put them up on a chair or table and photograph them jumping off!!!!!! crowns are good too, but mine won't wear them for more than 3 seconds. i will try booties next...maybe i should host a kitty pageant this evening???

Maybe we could have a dress your kitty contest,and all submit pictures,but not identify whose kitty it is ,and try to figure out who we think the kittys belong to.

Mavis, I appoligize for calling you a Jack Ass. I am sorry. We all find different things funny, and just because we laugh about it does not mean we do not regret them.

actually, you called *willy* a jackass. i am mavis. sometimes i am a jack ass. willy is willy. i don't know if she's a jack ass. czarina-- i love the idea of an online kitty pageant. i need a little time to sew costumes though.....

DAMN DAMN DAMN I can't even apoligize right. Willy, I beleive it was you I called a jack ass. Mavis, forget everything I posted. Willy, please read what I wrote to mavis, and substitute Willy for Mavis

And I want pictures of that......

Lets see how many want to be in the kitty contest, as I recall Sem has a cat,J has one,and I think Isolode,and probably others.We'll get a head count,then determine a deadline for picture submission, and maybe Cyst or Agatha would be in charge of posting the pics.I'm puuuuring just thinking of the possibilities.

i will enter my cat fluffah and win hands down.

Ah,I can see we will need different categories,as I am sure my Tedman will win paws down.

may i suggest some CATegories: prettiest toughest funniest weirdest most supersonic fluffyest puffyest

I have a cute pussy...

No pictures for me?

I want a picture of your cute pussy

shit, my cats are queens of coy.......lil model queens they are. Isbella and Karenina will make your pussies look like second rate "glamour" pusses.

my cats are superhero ass kicker she-kitties who are used to the limelight.... look out!!

Go to www.xdrive.com and login as "johnqpublic1" password: "johnqpublic1" and download the cat2.jpg file to see my cute pussy.

Hi, as for being fucked with - I guess I just like to know WHY. The tape on the cat's paws is hillarious. It's also mean. It's a shame it can't just be hillarious. I'm not a hermaphrodite. Also, I don't like having photographs taken. Sorry to disappoint.

I cant download the cat!

I have a dog and I demand IN! I'm not going to be discriminated against just because my little darling looks a bit different from the other kids. So there!

You need to save the cat to the public folder

Willy, I am relieved you are not a hermaphrodite. Am i forgiven?

Dougie is right s/he does have a cute pussy!

Could you login to xdrive.xom, and see the directory listing? Anywho, I e-mailed it to you.

A bit furry, but otherwise cute!

You need my forgiveness? I wasn't hurt (just confused) so there's nothing really to forgive. If you think it's necessary, though... yes, you are forgiven.

For calling you a jack ass, yes. Even if you were not hurt, I think it was "One of the cruelest things I ever did".

okay, now that we're all friends again- to see my cute pussy, knock on my door and ask nicely!!!

Knock Knock, May I see your cute pussy, please?

:-)

She was your girlfriend, mavis? I didn't know that. huh.

well sem, for a fleeting moment she was my girlfriend.i'm the first person she came out to in houghton. what do you think we were doing when i stayed at her house? clipping coupons? ha ha ha. and why do you think she excluded me from her liner note thank yous? she was pissed that niku and i slept together as soon as niku got home from belgium. who's there??

So, Do I get any pictures?

It is me.

Well, I didn't think you had a dating relationship, that's for sure. Of course, i spent a lot of time then shitfaced with the likes of Justin, Kiko, and Nik de Dik, not to mention Adam and Shawn and that whole class of substances.

I want to enter the kitty contest. But how many kittys can i enter. I bet troll would win evil bitch kitty hands down.

I will host the kitty contest on my web page, if you would all like. Everyone email your pictures to me, and I will put up something. What exactly are the categories to be? Can there be a dressing your cat up option? Are photoshopped images allowed? agatha@uswest.net http://www.torturechamber.com/agatha by the way, everyone post on the pitas page. it's fun!!!!! really, it just makes me feel popular. go here: http://www.torturechamber.com/agatha/weblogtell.html

Oh, I wanted to thank those who didn't call me names or tell me to fuck off, and especially thank those who actually said some words in my defense. I was thinking last night about how I didn't thank anyone... so thanks guys!

Re:Kitty Contest As this is our contest,I suggest we can do anything we like.What does everyone think about the idea of posting the pics,and everyone voting on who we think the kittys belong to? Mavis suggested some CATergories: prettiest toughest funniest weirdest most super-sonic fluffyest puffyest I would like to add: shortest longest Patrick wanted to add: most glamourus I think we should by all means have a "dress your kitty" category Cat,as this is a kitty contest,[we don't discriminate against color,race,religous belief,or zoological classification], might I suggest you "disguise" your pooch to resemble a feline,and then I think the "judges" shouldn't have a problem with your submission. I also suggest that all enteries should be accepted,and we should not limit ourselves to only 1 entry each[if thats okay with Agatha,as she generously offered to post our pics]. If anyone has other CATergory suggestions,please feel free to submit them. I guess we need a deadline for submission: I have 2 suggestions: August 15 or August 30 [some of us might need time to get our costumes ready] What does everyone think of this plan?

i think august 30th. i also think there should be a "naughtiest" category

Mine would win the prettiest and fattest (she's a 25 lber)

oh, pooh, I can't enter... currently my cat doesn't live with me (he lives with my parents)... sheesh...

all right,big talker----lets see this puss!

Go to www.xdrive.com and login as "johnqpublic1" password: "johnqpublic1" and download the cat2.jpg file to see my cute pussy.

Juices (my orange former tom) has your cat kicked all to crap. He wouldn't win prettiest, but he weighs 35 lbs. Maybe the kitty contest could be a 3 tiered structure. PART I: guess the human who submitted the picture PART II: submissions get voted on PART III: submit CAPTIONS (like for a highschool yearbook or society page) for the pictures.

Looks like we'll have to add a fattest kitty category!

I like Margrets idea of a 3 tier contest.Also I think,[being quite familiar with feline behavior],that it was a terrible oversight to leave out the "naughtiest" CATergory!I also need to make an addendum to the shortest category,that should have been "shortest legs" CATegory.August 30th sounds good to me. Note to Dougie----you better start feeding, if you want to stay in the running with Margrets puss!

Nah, she gets plenty of food as it is. She's a sweetheart, but a pain in the ass sometimes, especially at 3:00 am every night when she decides, "I think I'll go see what Dougie's up to" and jumps up onto my chest and licks my face while I'm asleep.

My cat "flops" on you in middle of the night. It is so funny, she climbs up on the bed and colapses right on you, with no pretense whatso ever, just "flop" and there she is. She also likes "stern pettings", but maybe that is why she is always colapsing....

what about a "biggest dump" category for all the kitties out there filling up the litter boxes of the world? i don't own a cat so you guys should make some portion of your contest appealing to me.

Jay, No offense, butif you don't own a CAT why whould a CAT contest interest you at all??????

He just likes pussy.

GIVE ME MY HEAD BACK!!!!

i do like pussy although my psychoanalysis doesn't seem to think i like it all that much. someone offered me a kitten the other night. a really cute little motherfucker to. but i just can't handle that responsibility. I'm sure there's psychoanalysis in that somewhere. but i want a cat really. next cat i'm offered i'm taking. besides i'm just intrigued with everything poop.

I AM NOT DONE WITH YOUR HEAD YET. YOU ARE MUCH TOO IMPATIENT.

GIVE ME MY SEVERED HEAD BACK!!!!!!!!!!

KEEP THIS UP AND THERE WILL BE A PENALITY PERIOD.

AND WHAT, EXACTLY, WOULD THE PENALTY BE?

!!!KCAB DAEH YM EM EVIG

THATS IT.YOU WERE WARNED.YOUR SEVERED HEAD NOW RESIDES IN TIME OUT,FOR AN UNSPECIFIED TIME PERIOD.JUST GO AND TRY TO BUY THAT REFRESHING SIX-PACK,CLERKS FROWN ON SELLING BEER TO THE HEADLESS,JUST TRY CASHING A CHECK AT THE BANK......I CAN ALREADY HEAR THEM," UH,WE NEED A MORE IDENTIFIABLE FORM OF ID",WELL,I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW,OH HEADLESS WONDER.[ And don't try the pumkin trick,it just won't wash.]

You made Satan cry.

I NEEEEED HEAD!!!!!!111111

Ooops, I meant my head

WELL,I'M NOT CRUEL.I'LL GIVE YOU HEAD.

Oh, I like that.....

Count me in - my Nelson is gorgeous!

DEADLINES? DID SOMEONE SAY DEADLINES? this group is really excellent in coping with deadlines-pfffffft.

Hi agatha!

I hope there is a catagory for most neurotic cat,Buffy is a shoe-in.

I hope there is a category for most idiotic thing your cat has ever done with photo proof because duff will win paws down.

Is this cat thing still on?

guess how long a cat can get? hehe

what do you call two legs a head and a bloddy mesS? Half a cat!!

it's better if you ask: what has two legs and bleeds profusely? it's classier.

Is it wrong to fuck a cat? My cat doesnt seem to mind all that much.

nerve.com?

DarkAlley, beastiality is illegal in the state of collorado. I hope you aren't doing that on campus. It can get you expelled.

Oh, and clean up the area when you are done with it, the library computers are everyones to use and we are tired of cleaning your messes up!

Dark Alley,you are a pusillanimous pig.

Dark Alley,just how small is your penis?

oh come on guys, surely you didn't take the bait

I personally know a sheep fornicator[his kid likes to lick windows]I think there might be a connection.

Good thing I didn't report this to the A.S.P.C.A.

Damn, J, you actually used an apostrophe. Way to go!

I'm glad you noticed Dougie,I've been trying to for a while.

Fuck cats.

zippy tie them over a clothes line and swing them around is fun too fuck all cats

thanks for sharing that brilliant comment.

rather: those brilliant commments, jd.

what do you have against cats, jd colbung?

A thread about me. Yay. But then they all are.

Hey Cat, where you been, what have you been up to?

I think she's been to London to visit the Queen. Or, is that another cat I'm thinking of? Great to see you're back cat.