| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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the first one comes along and sucks me in by his indifference...i get use to playing the games that i previously thought were only for pretentious assholes...yay..i turn into a pretentious asshole..or was i one before..hmm..that riddle could keep me going on all night..but anyway..my standards are dropping so low at this point that the smallest hint of anything thrown my way is balooned into some sort of abnormal signifigance..it's all become so comfortable..and so systematic..have some beer a few nights a week and go back to either house 'a' or house 'b'..set the alarm for one or the other for six a.m. and we're good to go..simple and predictable and almost somewhat dependable..and you never bother thinking about what the next day will bring..because it doesn't even matter.. then the other one comes along..takes you out to all the places that the first would rather pull out all his teeth before going..he acts so...perfectly...too perfectly..that you know it can't last..it can't be real..you'll give up something predictable for something that could explode in your face, burning and scaring you for life, leaving you to go single for yet another four years, in recovery... and then there is the issue of what to tell the first....he's not stupid..he knows you have been hanging out with a new friend....does he just trust you? or does he just not care.... i wish he just didn't care..so that this guilt i have will quit picking away at that ulcer i feel coming on... in the end i fear i will be back with my good old buddy, Lonliness..but if that happens..i know it was meant to be..we were meant to be together.. |
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spiracle, try to put your fear aside (or at least just pretend to) and ask yourself two questions: 1. what do i really want? 2. how would i want to be treated in this situation if i was in the other person's shoes? don't answer what you think you should answer, just be totally truthful with yourself. and don't judge your own answers. then just do some thinking. that's the best i got... good luck, girl. |
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Sounds sad. The "Too Perfect" thing has always bothered me. If he's really perfect, then rock on... If there is a problem (there usually is with "Too Perfect") then figure it out. Address it. Hmm. Nevermind. That's not very helpful advice at all. I've been described as "Too Perfect" when I'm really anything but. Someone actually broke up with me using that reason. It was really because there were some things she didn't like about me that she was afraid to admit or address. Hmm. Again, not very helpful. How 'bout this: Being in a rut is no fun! Rock on! Get it on! Take risks and don't look back! Uh... chose whichever you like... or none. Yeah. You're cool. You deserve cool people. Friday |
Guy #1 sounds like a terrible waste of energy (your energy, I mean). Guy #2 probably isn't perfect, but since no one is, and you enjoy being with him so much more than with Guy #1, choose him. So sayeth I, intimacy avoideur extraordinaire. |
i guess the word i should have used was 'possible'..he's possible..and even likely..and i can imagine it..and that's scary enough i know it could easily blow up in my face.. whatever..i'm not even too worried about that.. it's all a matter of timing..what a bastard that is..geez..one month or two earlier and i could have avoided this shit.. |
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if i could go back to my younger days and do it over again, i'd make sure they counted. i definitely wouldn't worry about being lonely or single or any of that crap. |
Oh well, back to the movie. |
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we're *all* lonely. that shouldn't even be the issue. and i fully agree with nate and dave. i've been on male strike for two weeks now and i can't believe how much happier i've been. goodbye negative energy! goodbye self doubt! |
Lose them both and remember, Joseph Campbell says (said) that the ONLY question there is ... is whether or not we say YES! to the adventure. We're only lonely if we want to be; we only get sucked in if we want to be; we only settle for the predictable and mundane and safe, if we want to settle; we only risk finding someone new and different and *healthy* and good for us ... if we want to. Rock on. Just stop looking and start knowing yourself. Log off and go buy coffee for a stranger whom you find in the "gardening section" at Borders. Don't give him yr number, and don't go home with him. Report back tomorrow with all the details. And lose the two losers. What the hell do I know. |
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i completely agree..i've been in more control of this mess than i'd like to admit..i'm realizing that.. |
Bizarre occurence #2: While eating at one of my old fav restaurants in the home town, I develop a short duration crush on the waitress, a short, blackhaired girl with blue eyes and a comforting smile and manner. I think I must attribute these to the fact that I am moving far away from this region in a short time. This has nothing to do with Spiracle's situation, just thought I would butt in. |
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tipping like that in NY will probably get you something nasty the next time you go in |
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i've been tipped at work occasionally, but put it in the donation jar on the counter. i could get fired for accepting a tip. |
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I was bitter about it. I cleaned the table, but left the tip there for the waitress (no waiters). Then again, I got paid more hourly than the waitresses did. They could be paid less than minimum wage because they got tips. Assy. |
sorry rhiannon. i've 'waited', as well as most of my friends....i would say that most waiters think you shouldn't go out to eat if you can't afford it. wait people get paid like $2 an hour. |
It should lead to fabby shoe-kissing wait people but unfortunately, the inherent Australian casualness and total abhorence of servility means our service is still the worst in the World. But then again, I find the American "Hi, I'm going to pretend to be your best friend for the next two hours" thing really annoying. The sky is really heart-stoppingly blue here today and I'm really thinking far too much about sex to make any sense. |
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sem, it's not leaving wisconsin, ya big goof. crushes and food service go hand in hand. i tip 20% always. even if the service is bad. unless it's really really really really bad and then i tip 15%. |
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when i was in melbourne i tried to tip someone and they looked at me with disgust and said, "i'm not your servant." ooops. |
the whole tipping thing makes me think of something my husband told me about his mom taking a really poor woman out to a restaurant. the poor lady didn't know anything about tipping & suddenly went running around the restaurant screeching, "looky here! all these folks has done left money on the table!" & frantically scooping all the dough into the pockets of her dress. ren's mom was mortified. |
I mean sometimes I give what I have. |
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I will tip 15% if the service was lacking but not too bad, but if the service was really bad, they screwed up the order or the service was inattentive or rude, the amount of tip goes down. Tips should reflect the quality of service, but also the fact that people who work for tips often get screwed on wages. So it takes a lot for me not to tip at all. |
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and my usual pizza delivery guy gets a BL and a beer on top of it. |
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bong load. |
My tipping really does depend ont he service--I tip at least 15%, but I've gone up to 50% for something really exceptional. I've never been on wait staff--I wouldn't be a good waitress. I kind of like having the gratuity included because then, if the service was really amazing, I can leave a little extra something, like Cat says. And if the service wasn't...then I don't leave anything at all but I don't feel totally guilty. I hate obsequious waiters. |
The only other time I've ordered pizza without a tip, was when my buddy Adam goes, "I got the tip don't worry about it." sure Adam poor ass motherfucker. So the guy shows up, I pay him, get the pizza take it to the kitchen, and when i get back the guy IS taking a bong rip... Nate I think you were right, all pizza delivery men will accept a bong hit for a tip. |
I thought I gave him 3. But he did come all the way up to my dorm room, which was unusual. Some waitresses would give us some tip money... Those ended up being the ones I'd help willingly. There were nice waitresses who sometimes shared their tips, and bitchy waitresses who had worked there for 30 years and hated everyone. They couldn't figure out why they got such crappy tips... |
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The problem with waiters in this country is, none of them are waiters. They're actors or singers between gigs. Waiting is a profession like anything else, and though I don't do it often, if I'm going to lay down $100 a plate at a nice place in the city, the waiter's presence should not be noticed while you're eating. It should be totally unobtrusive: water glasses should be filled without them reaching across your face to fill the glass, plates should be taken when you lay your silverware on the plate and should not be a big production of stacking and reaching, and if they want to ask if you need anything else or how the food is, do it while I'm between sentences with whomever I'm talking to at the table. |
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i don't really understand pizza. it doesn't even taste good, if you really bother to taste it or think about it. all that goop sludged together on some thick, heavy bread made with too much baking soda. sits in your stomach like a lump of crisco on a brick and you purp up the taste of bocholized sausage spaghettios for days afterward. bleah. |
I think Dougie is right, if I'm shelling out that kinda dough for a dinner, I will tip the guy/girl who is there to serve me, but I don't want to see the person really, they should make themselves invisible to the people eating, be as discreet as possilble. |
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Not all pizza has to be that way Sarah. And of course cramming many courses into one is not American. Goulash, stews and soups, sheppards pie, and the million other caserroles and recipes that combine many things into one. |
the Capri Pizzeria in Athens used to be memorably fine too, but it was the pouffy thick edge crust kind. what has happened to food |