I wanna know..what love is...I want you to shoooww me. Goddamn eighties tunes. Make it stop. Make it stop.

Love is a battlefield....

Oooooh. You're no help. No help at all.

Love is higher than a mountain. Love is thicker than water. (Or should that be a single sentence with a semicolon?)

Love is higher than a mountain; love is thicker than water. Love is higher than a mountain! Love is thicker than water! Love is higher than a mountain? Love is thicker than water? Q: Love is higher than a mountain? A: Love is thicker than water. Love...higher than a mountain. Love...thicker than water. LOVE - mountain Loooooooooooooooove - water Love is stoned. Love is viscous.

the carpet sellers of istanbul do not love me. I went in only one carpet shop today. I need to pick up the pace, start bringing my camera. they all recognize me now. no tourist stays in istanbul this long. or carries a notebook around. the one merchant said I was a "difficult customer." I told him I wouldn't come back and bother him anymore, but he didn't care because he knew I wouldn't anyway. sometimes I carefully map out my route from various places to my friend's hotel in order to remain unseen by certain merchants. particularly the one who took us out to dinner (sea bass, baba ganoush, cheese, salad, salsa, tzatziki, shrimp, calamari, baklava) and bought me flowers last night. that was not the first time he bought me dinner. or flowers. istanbul is a disaster area. not because of the earthquake so much as the western tourist-starved salesmen. they are like land mines; you must step very carefully through the sultanhamet to avoid them. soon the carpet seller who adopted me because my friend spent way too much on a kilim and a rug will no longer accept my excuse that I'm on my way to the internet cafe. he will pay his internet bill and insist that I check my email from the computer in his office. I will have to find a new way to the cafe. today the carpet merchant asked if I was here as a tourist or to shop for carpets. after a while, after he knew it was hopeless and that his kayseris were not as good as what I need, he told me that he doesn't like people who are looking for carpets, who know what they want. he likes the ones he has to drag into the shop and convince that they need a carpet -- this specific carpet. no, I'm working here now. my expenses are paid, I have nowhere to be. this is my job. they hate me.

shouldn't that be: "aint no mountain high enough, aint no valley deep enough, aint no river wide enough..." but i guess that's from the 60's. wanna crash your browser? go to amazon and type "love" as the song search parameter. ugly.

6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly contemned 8 We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? 9 I she be a wall, we will build a upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. 10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favor. - Song of Solomon she's a BRICK House She's mighty mighty Lettin' it all hang out

i take 1 1 1 cause you left and 2 2 2 for my family and 3 3 3 for heartache and 4 4 4 for headaches and 5 5 5 for my lonely and 6 6 6 for my sorrow and 7 7 7 no tomorrow and 8 8 I forget what 8 was for and 9 9 9 for a lost god and 10 10 10 10 FOR EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING you can all just kiss of into the air

behind my back, I can see them stare They'll hurt me bad, but I don't mind They'll hurt me bad; they do it all the time YEAH YEAH They do it all the time YEAH YEAH They do it all the time, time, time, time, time, time, time-time. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-time-time. DO IT ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't know what it is about that whole record....it was like my pre-teen/teen anthem, after all these years i can throw on my warped vinyl copy of it and sing it word for word....you can't knock that shit......you just can't.......

I'm in love with your girlfriend I just wanna bang her box I'm in love with your girlfriend Well I hope you get chicken pox When I see that girl comin down the line she's got somethin' I just wanna grind I'm in love with your girlfriend yes I am I wanna put my head right in her oven I wanna take her home and show her some true fine lov-lov-lovin I'm in love with your girlfriend I just wanna make her blind I'm in love with your girlfriend I wanna give it to her from behind When I see that girl walkin down the street she's got somethin' I just wanna eat I'm in love with your girlfriend yes I am

Waffles, you are so right! Just about once or twice a year I'll put that album on and it's suddenly 1986 all over again and I'm in my old LeBaron convertible jammed to capacity (which was about 5), top down and speeding up US 63 from Jeff. City to Columbia to hang out at Shattered, the only club for 100 miles in any direction that would dare let a bunch of 16-18 year olds come in and drink $1.00 pitchers of Old Milwaukee and smoke Dunhills and feel like they were so, so cool. The Femmes came to Columbia that summer and played the old Blue Note. Four of us sneaked in by forging pass-out stamps on our hands. It was as if we had penetrated the battlements of some forbidden kingdom. For that one night we were truly on top of the world. God dammit there are times when I miss being underage.

Too funny. I used to listen to that album non-stop. Uh, American music. DOOO YOUUU LIKE AMERICAN MUSIC? i'm gonna go jump out the window. my roomate's mentally imbalanced, new age, blind, epileptic, vietnam flashback-ridden lesbian lover does not love me. in fact, she just called me an immature bitch. i responded well. I told her when she grew up, chanted over a few crystals, meditated, and took her medication, she could speak to me. Funny. A 21 year old has more sense than a 48 year old. I'm glad I didn't hit her. Thought she was gonna get me a couple of times tho. I need to move. Reeeeeeallly bad. I'm having a shittttty day.

What do you mean by "vietnam flashback-ridden"? (And before someone jumps on my ass for "not getting the joke" or something...every joke has a basis in truth. I want to know what the truth is behind this one. So bite me.)

Ummm. I was assuming she meant "vietnam flash-back ridden" quite literally, as in that the woman had served a tour in Vietnam and suffered PTSD. Maybe I don't read carefully enough. Don't be so defensive, Spider Monkey (meant affectionately, because I really dig Verucca Salt's "Forsythia," so don't YOU jump down MY throat).

nah, man... you're all wrong. what she meant was "vietnam-FLASHDANCE ridden." obviously the woman had a little too much "shake-shake da coochie/me love u long time" action back in Da Nang '85. post-hoochie stress disorder can be a terrible thing.

Whoa, I was pretty harsh there, wasn't I? Well, don't blame me....I haven't taken my medication in like 2 weeks. So was she in Vietnam? If this is the case, I feel it is my duty to tell you that the fact that this lady's in one piece -- mental imbalance, new age leanings, blindness, and epilepsy notwithstanding -- is a testament to her strength. I know I wouldn't survive a year+ of being surrounded by kids suffering and dying for no good reason.

Actually, she was military intelligence for Vietnam...she never actually toured. Don't get me wrong. I am not knocking vets. I understand that its a strong thing to survive through. I've been a volunteer at the local Vet home for years... What I'm knocking is the fact that my roomate brought her into my home with no regard to my opinion and I've been made to take care of this woman...who has no respect for my presence, is paying no bills, and feels the need to insult me in my own home. This does not make me happy. I know people have problems, but, forgive me if I sound crude, I'm NOT out to save the world, and I'm not going to pretend I can. I've been drinking. Forgive me.

No, forgive me. And bite your roommate! She sounds evil.

Paying no bills,insults you in your own home,kick her miserable ass out,if your roomate gives you any shit, you just tell her how it is.

2 days and i'll be in my own apartment. oh i cant wait. i stole two of maggie's ciggarettes. i somehow feel mildly redeemed because of this.

leave some fish stuffed in the sofa,and places they can,t find so easy,it,d be perfect if you had some drapes you could sew some in the hem,that give them something to think about,also Mr.landlord won,t like it.

ooooh. i did that last time. my last apartment, my landlord was a prick and cut my water...sooooo, i invited daryl over, we filled the bowl with big turds, hid steak behind the hot water heater closet, and poured corn oil all over the stove burners. WHEEE. i bet it smelled pretty.